Week 4 - Mike Wrecka vs Pinot Grij - MW WINS

[Mike Wrecka]

Memo week 4.
Greetings competitors, we move to a fairly standard challenge this week, in response to the number of no-shows and the fact that some people claimed to have struggled with the last challenge. LEGAL LATIN WEEK, you are required to write in response to the short phrase you are given. The Latin thing is just to make it slightly more interesting than a regular phrase. You can treat this writing exercise the same way you would treat writing to a quote topic etc if you want to. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.

Specific Task - Res ipsa loquitur

Due Date - Wednesday 23:59 PST
Voting Period Ends - Sunday 23:59 PST

Good Luck Pinot Grij

[Mike Wrecka]

check

[Pinot Grij]

in it. let's make a classic

http://www.netcees.co/showpost.php?p=120756&postcount=9
http://www.netcees.co/showpost.php?p=120763&postcount=7
http://www.netcees.co/showpost.php?p=120768&postcount=7

[Pinot Grij]

granting Mike Wrecka an EXT

[Pinot Grij]

Welcome to the Law Office of Richter, Forster and Hultzen
Specializing in Family Law, Divorce and Annulments
We’re unfortunately summoned when a family breaks apart
And trust me, what you’re feeling is something we take to heart
My name is Randy MacLemore, quite savvy in the family courts
And I know judges only grant divorce if it’s the last resort
See, these cases can get sticky, but I’ll gladly handle yours
I’ve seen many a man get forced to say his marriage ran its course
Don’t let me ramble more, before we enact your application
Sadly, I have to ask the plaintiff to help me draft an affidavit
So, to assist me as I decide on your sizeable predicament
Please tell me the history behind your irreconcilable differences

Ummm, ok...
Please excuse my white temper, my wounds are quite tender
But I’ll review the ongoing feud caused by my floozy wife, Brenda
It’s a truly tight dilemma fueled by her stupid, smug deceit
On the surface she always lies, while the truth lies underneath
See, I work the night shift. To bring home the bacon and such
My wage isn't much but I always compensate her with love
One night, while on the way to slave away like a chump
I turned around when I realized I hadn't taken my lunch
I pulled up, and I tell you, its all that a man can bear
To walk in his house and see a big black stripper standing there
He stripped off his tuxedo down to a bowtie and Speedos
And screamed, “Bitch, come get some of this chocolate torpedo!”
My thoughts went medieval, I yelled, "What the fuck is this?!
You better come up with something quick... you ugly bitch!"
She yelled, "David, he's just auditioning for LaShawnda's stagette!"
Only later did I realize that she hasn't got any black friends
He said to me, “Look, I’m not trying to fuck with you, Dave
But to drive a woman wild, gotta give her something she crave”
I said, “But I always try to develop sweet and loving habits”
He laughed and said, “Good luck with that shit, you chubby faggot”
This other time, I came home after feeling sick and fatigued
Walked in to a dude butt naked with his dick on her cheek
She said, "He's my hairdresser, Dave, its not what it seems, its....
Just my hair curls better around the natural heat from a penis.
I'm speechless, you acting all mad is a shitty thing to do.
Cuz really... I was only doing it to look prettier for you!"
And now there's another guy, I think he's the legal type
If I read it right, cuz there's an Audi parked on my street at night
I hate spying on my wife, its just hard cutting your losses...
Actually, the car looks like the one parked in front of your office
There's no telling what one does after a man is tested
One time, I even called his phone and left him an angry message
Randy?? Are you ok? Looks like you're sweating a bunch
Your breathing is heavy and your face looks wet to the touch
I know, I'm nervous too... that's why I came to this place
So what's the verdict, pal? Do you think that we have a case?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Well Dave... ahem, your motives seem purely financial
Its all circumstantial, you're just trying to stir up a scandal
This is a textbook case of ab insipio uhhh.... trans delta
Otherwise known as a juris..... dominus.... cant-help-ya
Moreover, its res ipsa loquitur, oh, I beseech your pardon
But I don't need to start confusing you with all the legal jargon
You seem disheartened, but trust me, I feel no doubt
Now if you don't mind, my assistant will kindly see you out

[Mike Wrecka]

Res ipsa loquitur = “the thing speaks for itself.”




Eddie was a comedian on the circuit, a ventriloquist,
he could make the audience laugh without movin his lips,
the back and forth banter between him and his dummy,
seemed like self deprecating humor, that was genuinely funny,
his puppet was named Buddy, and was exceptionally mean,
verbally destroying the man that controlled him was the theme,
this was the part that people found most amusing,
cause Eddie actually looked like his ego was taking a bruising,
they had a bit, Eddie would drink water while still making him talk ,
and Buddy would say "this fag likes to swallow, its the only way he gets off",
after the show all the promoters could never understand,
why even backstage, the comic kept Buddy firmly placed on his hand,
and have the puppet making demands, like suckah pay up,
the club owners would roll their eyes like come on Eddie enough is enough,
but it was never enough, Buddy would talk and then talk some more,
people even overheard the two conversing as they walked out the door


next day at home he was awoken, from a really deep sleep,
by a sound in his driveway, the closing door of a jeep,
it was a reporter, for an interview about a show in the upcoming week,
Eddie opened the door with his hand covered, hidden beneath a sheet,
the reporter said, " Ed do you have a few minutes to speak?",
ive interviewed all the comedians on the bill, your is the last one I need to complete,
he said, "come in, lets get this over with, go head take a seat",
and yes I sometimes keep my hand covered, don't think of me as a freak,
its just this is how I make a living, so I don't want it to get injured or weak,
so I do daily lotion treatments, and try to use it the least,
the reporter said "I saw your show, you and buddy killed the crowd",
and id love to see him up close, I really hope that's ok and allowed,
that's when he heard Buddys voice, it was muffled and loud,
something about let me out, I want to make father proud,
Eddie yelled shut up before he could finish the sentence,
the reporter was convinced that he was an insane schizophrenic,
so he gave him a look and he cracked, that's all that it took,
he said fine want the fuckin truth, ill open the book,

listen motherfucker! I have a twin brother,
and after our birth, we were never separated from each other,
so instead of having us made fun of as kids,
my father decided to put us into showbiz,
he wrote the jokes until his heart attack,
now Buddys the talent and im just a hack,
have you put it together? now that ive revealed my past,
I don't control the dummy, Buddy wears it as a mask,
just to make it clear so you fully understand,
he never fully developed and is attached to my hand!,
so I guess there is only one thing left to do,
take off the sheet and introduce Buddy to you!


http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_9udfncYtHlw/TKeI7y6kJkI/AAAAAAAAEUM/P6fwohJm2o4/s1600/10.+The+Ventrilgoquist's+Dummy.png

[Objective]

Pinot Grij: The first paragraph flows well and you introduce your story in a clear way, I like that. LMFAO at the second paragraph where dude talks about this shit. Goddamn, what kinda fetishes does this woman have? I don't even want to know man.. If love makes people blind, this is the definition of it, goddamn, he stupid as hell, lol. Didn't exactly seem realistic that he'd be this stupid, but the story itself did what it was supposed to and you wrote it pretty well. It flowed great throughout and I laughed at how it all came together towards the end. Really well written and it was a pretty funny, yet kinda sad story you presented this week.

Mike Wrecka: Your shit started off funny, then got serious as fuck as it kept going. The complete opposite of what Pinot did. Was refreshing to see two extremely different pieces, yet both of them is creative/original as hell. Don't know if I just didn't really like the fact that his brother was attached to him cuz it's unrealistic, or if I was just creeped out by the whole thing.. Either way, nothing can convince me of anything else than it being creative as fuck and I enjoyed how it all played out. Great visual with the image at the end as well.

Vote: This is hard as fuck.. I felt both were about equal, MW went slightly more abstract whereas Pinot took the humerous route. I can enjoy both, but I can't vote for both, so I got to go with what I enjoy the most in a verse. Personally I enjoy verses to be somehow realistic and presenting some ideas I haven't heard before in a way that captivates me as a reader.

Both of you captivated me with your writing and how you described the shit. I did feel that Pinot was better with his characters and how the story progressed, but it didn't seem realistic at all that someone would be this stupid yet have the intelligence seek advice on taking legal action. I mean, chick be having someones dick in her face and he still believes her lies along with some other crazy as fuck stuff taking place. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was funny, but that's all that it was, you feel me? Almost felt like an filler how it kept going on without anything really happening, if that makes any sense.
MW's piece was overall weird as fuck tbh, but it was something I hadn't read before and shit was creative. I enjoyed the details about how their father had made the stand-up show to make them get through childhood etc., still beats me how they managed to keep it secret for so long and where were their mother in all of this? Either way, overall it was a more serious theme with a captivating story that kept me interested throughout on a different level story-wise than Pinot Grij's verse, so I have to go with MW on this one.

I can definitely see how this could go either way, but to clarify; Mike Wrecka gets my vote.

[Certain]

Pinot Grij: I don't really have any qualms in saying you're the best, most polished storyteller in this league. You keep things moving with crisp wording and great rhymes and rhyme schemes. You understand both pacing and how to twist lines to be a bit more interesting than the straightforwardness of a lot of storytellers. I loved this line, for instance: "Sadly, I have to ask the plaintiff to help me draft an affidavit." It fit perfectly into your verse but had a terrific sound with the assonance and the internal rhyme. It moved the plot but also added a hint of depth to your sleezy lawyer character. Parts of this story were funny. Others drew empathy. You kept the story based in the real world, which I prefer. All of that said, I didn't think the story matched the storytelling here. The ending was predictable. The actual action was all set in the lawyer's office, the rest being a retelling all in past tense. The connection to the topic could have been stronger. In other words, I know you can do better, even having read only two verses from you.

Mike Wrecka: This was one weird, fucked-up story. You have a really strong mind for how to approach topics, maybe the best in this league. That's important because, frankly, your mechanics and writing aren't nearly as polished as Pinot Grij's. Your flow got choppy, particularly in the middle section, and your rhymes were only OK and almost exclusively limited to the ends of lines. But I really liked this verse simply because of the way you presented the story. That's a real gift, to be able to keep the reader moving without delving into anything fancy as a writer. The ending was funny but oddly convincing, even if it is scientifically impossible. I loved the slow unraveling of everything. At first I was thinking, well, all ventriloquists are fucking weirdos. But then I started thinking, this guy's weirder than that. Then it all clicked. I'd love to see what you could do with a more complex rhyme scheme and more intricate diction because you have such a great mind for content. Oh, also: The photo was fucking disgusting.

Vote: Mike Wrecka

[Spoken]

Wow..

I have to keep this short sorry.. On my phone but yeah man this was a definitely interesting battle. Both came with nice stories and wow at thestorytelling tbh.. Pinot I fucking hate you cause your such a clean writer with the development. I honestly feel though that you cleaned up a story and delivered something played out and quite over done tbh..... Mike damn that's a sik twist.. Almost predictable tho nah mean... But nice flow and everything... To me though for an all around process of a verse.. I feel the complete verse should compel with great peaks into the art of writing as both were pretty equal.. The difference is how he had presented the story and my judgement comes down my personal enjoyment and I have I go against the grain-


Mvgt: Pinot

[Brian Bryan]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT AT HAVING TO SCROLL ON THE PHONE DOWN TO MIKE'S PICTURE AHAHAHA!!!!

Pinot Grij merked it, absolutely love his style, think he has an amazing turn of phrase and wording that can make even the darkest subjects light hearted because of the humour he injects, reminds me of Louis Logic in that respect, thought he could have done more with the topic this week and the piece felt a little underdeveloped this week compared to his last but the opening was great, mechanics and everything on point, there's little I can tell him to improve on, he knows his lane and does it well. Mike had less on the technical front this week but his originality never faulters, I guarantee noone has seen one wrote to this topic before, it was pure insanity! A great story, at one point with the lotion I thought he masturbated with the puppet on. Im weird, I know. FUCK! I liked both verses here, two spectacular takes to the same topic, both out of their minds creatively, but Im giving it to Mike here based on his feeling the more complete. Battle of the week. I love you guys.

[patrown]

/v pinot - imo. here got this. it's not that i wasn't AS entertained.. it's just, MW kind of lost me. i was trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about , next thing you know, a crazy guy with a little squidbilly on his hand pops out trying to fist pinot, and i got confused. naturally. idk what the hell is going on tbh, MW. you came pretty clean, i just don't understand.. the movie reference that picture is attached to. and to be perfectly clear, i think pinot's utilization of assonance gave him the edge as far as mechanics goes. nice drops from both.