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View Full Version : Week 4 - Deadlion vs Plot - PLOT WINS, DEADLION DQ.


Mike Wrecka
08-12-2013, 03:37 PM
Memo week 4.
Greetings competitors, we move to a fairly standard challenge this week, in response to the number of no-shows and the fact that some people claimed to have struggled with the last challenge. LEGAL LATIN WEEK, you are required to write in response to the short phrase you are given. The Latin thing is just to make it slightly more interesting than a regular phrase. You can treat this writing exercise the same way you would treat writing to a quote topic etc if you want to. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.

Specific Task - Ratio decidendi

Due date - Wednesday 23:59 PST
Voting Period Ends - Sunday 23:59 PST

Good Luck DeadLion Plot

Dagel is a biter
08-12-2013, 03:38 PM
Good luck.

Plot
08-12-2013, 11:10 PM
Sure

Plot
08-15-2013, 12:10 AM
Probably need the 24hr ext. Half done but gotta go to work

Dagel is a biter
08-15-2013, 12:16 AM
Eternity is burning away, waves turning to spray,
shame swerving astray, but the pain's learning to stay.
I pray constantly for a miracle, a hero who won't fade,
or change to a mirror view of a ghost known to disgrace.
The gates open or closed -- they won't hold him in safe,
so don't blame the rose when it's petals slowly decay.
Lonely and in vain, show me a nightmare that's tamed,
name a creature with features drained; on a task so great.
Play a symphony that makes enemies into friends,
some strange things that create dreams in the end.
Pretend a bee sting intends to free me from a bend,
and mad scientists invent beasts to accompany them.
With the blinds down... my guide prowls blindly,
but I know him, so right now he's proud to keep fighting.

A freak on his leash, I tweak on this shit I speak,
creep as you sleep, eat children's visions and dreams.
Visit asylums, notebook and pen in both hands,
I copy each epiphany -- this is MY romance.

Glass plate or ash tray, either way my lungs create woe,
can't control this slacker phase; young, brave, and stoned.
Will I ever grow, nobody knows, but I pray someday I'll go
somewhere bare that glows, a place to stay and let love flow.
Step where I may untold, no rain or snow unless my brush shows,
if I touch a rose, it'll bloom in the same room 'til the dust blows.
A beauty without death, it's truly a step toward my immortal throne,
and if the boat sinks and my message fails to float...
guess I need a portal back home.
It doesn't bother me, slaughtering something really isn't obscene,
I'd plunge a rusted knife into a gut, combust like volcanic scenery.
If you ask, "what does art mean to me?"
I'll reply that it's a must, and start to grief.
A man with a brush isn't just an artist, let's start with 'martyr',
he stands with lust, and loves the darkness that charts his art work.
The longer it takes, the stronger he paints his self portrait,
thinks he's a monster, but thank God your too late to help orbit.

I combine life with fear, the light disappears,
define a time where clear skies were engineered.
With some color I'll cover your regrets and sorrow,
just give me a cigarette, here's to a fresh tomorrow.

Sometimes, we're inspired for no reason.

Plot
08-15-2013, 01:31 PM
In our oceans there’s no notion of equality
No courtrooms, jail cells or apologies.
Just the fight to survive, it’s simplistic
Theres no politics, just dodge the bigger fish.
And on the land, it’s the law of the jungle
Conflicts decided with brawn and muscle.
The lawless struggle, weak just trying to exist
Its always been known, survival of the fittest.
But at sometime mankind outlived blindrage,
Stepped from a Neanderthal into being a primate.
Grew a mindstate not so deplorably pathetic
Adopted logic, encorporated morals and ethics.
Learnt to fashion his passion, use rational thought
How to number crunch, all the dashes and noughts.
But evolution didn’t predispose us for doing these sums
Game controllers weren’t the goal of opposable thumbs.
We were supposed to be humble, patient and amicable
These are the traits the separate us from the animals.
But if making rational decisions is our highest distinction
Why do just use it to judge one another with the slightest of inklings?
We developed motive, judgement and reason, but why?
So we could condemn our fellow man and watch him hang high?
Words like honour and pity are lost on savage beasts
Like giving pearls to pigs, to them its all just lavish treats.
We live in a dog eat dog world, and that’s the reality
That’s the totality, were all stuck here and that’s the gravtity.
Not to strive for self success is just a form of bad habit
If you want something in life, you have to reach out and grab it.

Certain
08-15-2013, 11:36 PM
DeadLion: Your verse had nothing to do with the topic, probably because it's more than two years old and recycled. I only looked it up because it had nothing to do with the topic and felt like a verse that had nothing to do with the topic. I don't know what the rules are here, but this should count as a no-show in my opinion. Google keeps track of even deleted posts and forums.

Plot: The direction you decided to take this topic, that there's no reason we have reason, was interesting but a bit too vaguely illustrated. I think the big problem is you waited so long to get to that point, and the first half of your verse related to the topic about as much as DeadLion's. When you got to it, though, I thought that was a creative twist. Your writing was a bit unoriginal. I feel like I've read the type of stuff that dominated your first 20 lines too often, and your rhyme schemes and diction weren't strong enough to get over that. But this was a fine first showing, especially against a verse that had nothing at all to do with the topic. Of course, my biggest advice to you would be to focus in tighter on it, too.

Vote: Plot

zygote
08-16-2013, 01:54 AM
Attention competitors. Dagel just dageled.

See - http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php/king-soule-2-451194/index.html?

Dagel is DQ'd for recycling old material or plagiarism.