wk 5: NYCSPITZ (3-1) vs. Kannon (2-2) -- NYCSPITZ 5-0

[Adonis]

AOWL Season IV, Week 3

OFFICIAL RULES:
Verses are due Thursday Oct 30th, extenstion to ALL, Halloween the 31st., 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Sunday, November 2nd, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

Topic:http://i.imgur.com/DwKxPyS.jpg?1

Hello it's me – Todd Rundgren

Topic: Either Or

GoodLuck kannon NYCSPITZ

[NYCSPITZ]

u wanna do the quote my nigga bc that pic is mad gay to me iono...I'll leave it in your hands bc I think if I had to I can create something for the intergalactic kiss picture

[kannon]

ugh, you again? who's making these matchups?

good god, these topics are the shittiest ones yet.

can we use the phrase "either or" as the topic?

edit: ill use "hello its me." that picture is crazy

[kannon]

hello its me the dopest fiend
here to put the nightmares inside of your dreams
you coulda been anything you were tryin to be
but ill eat your brain, and make your mind a disease
silently. my goal is to take your stylish wings
and fuckin turn it into mush, im a violent being
i live behind your eyes, in the night i succeed
in making everything allright for the time as it seems
but when you wake up you will find that its my victory
when you realize that im alive, and ive been dying to breath
i made you kill your whole family while they were going to sleep
i am your inner insanity. hello, its me.
im the one you look to for guidance when theres no one to seek
im the one who says no when you need to come over to pee
im the mystery meat in your taco when you re rolling your weed
im the forced rhyme in your topical when youre slowly debris
im the one who makes you do dumb shit, you know that its me
the one who holds you down and punches you to noble degrees
im the one who makes you go out and get drunk on halloween
and then come home and write a topical, hello it is me.

[King Ra.]

NYCSPITZ verse:

intergalactic symbols clash in his consciousness
they're profound but don't gel with his monstrous wit
it's Halloween's eve, nineteen-seventy-two
acid trippin at a pent house party decked with a booth
he came looking deranged - a blue paint faced god stuntin
carrying a wizard's staff with a serene smile like...
"Hey, it's me - Todd Rundgren"
nobody really seemed to notice or see the kid
they were all zoned out, fucking in public or grooving to beatle hits
Todd took out a ball of yawn and the accompanying needle kit...
and sewed a symbol on the rug. Some sort of weird demon shit
mouth agape - today the sixth house is centered in mars
he turns around three times and murmurs "Denne heim sellewyn charr"
through the glass roof - he sees the sinister heavenly aspect
and squints hard, trying telepathy with the men of the aztecs
men of moon, men of the annunaki, men of the stars
he invokes them with a cloying smile and sinister heart
the evil creature comes to his mind as he celestially leaves his station
cutting the rug, he fills it with lint balls and makes it a lizard
Cute. And leaning maybe.
Putting both hands to his temples, he tells his future self -
"Ok Todd...I think we'll call this one a beanie baby"

[timeless]

Lol dope battle. Always refreshing to read shit like this. Kannon ended our sobriety in many ways as possible. That mystery meat line had me dying. Nyc had a wild scene starring todd rundgren at a party sewing lizards on a rug, then turning the lizard into a beanie baby.

V. NYC by a hair

[Vulgar]

Kannon - Humorous. Like shish kebab. Tasty but I didn't get full off the first meal. I thought it was cute, one part actually reminded me of uh oh.

NYCSPITZ - lol at the ending. For that, you win the battle.

My vote goes to NYC.

[Three-Planes-Aligned]

Well I don't even know what to say. Plenipotentiary? Eitherwho, besides being a lazy asshole procrastinator shopping for matches with short verses to vote on I actually do enjoy the more compact stuff (having been a chronic writer of 64-line epics once upon a time). You both managed to provoke a smile and I think what killed it a little bit for Kannon was the whole "I am"-format (the wacky meta-reveal aside) and on that note Í'll vote for NYCSPITZ because he had a little more conceptual suave.

[Certain]

kannon: This was clever and lazy, well-executed because it's sloppy. The metahumor was a bit on the nose, particularly with the use of "topical" twice which could have been replaced by "cypher" or something like that. But the verse was very fluid. I still think your distaste for this topic was misplaced, and you illuminated some of the ways you could have gone with it.

NYCSPITZ: This verse was so bizarre. First there's Todd Rundgren, whom I've always associated with being one of the best early-1970s pop-rock stars (unlike another topic of this week, Alice Cooper) and never associated with anything demonic. But I can't deny the picture. Someone thought Todd Rundgren was the devil at some point. I loved the very literal use of the topic across the board. I thought I might be the only one to use the band name incorporated within the topic. It's there, so I figured it's part of the topic. But the images were just so damn weird. The ending was weird. I liked the weirdness. It was just so far out there that it worked. Had you tried this story with less weirdness, it wouldn't have worked. Rundgren being the central focus pulled it together. Also, the writing was solid in the ways I expect you to write, but that allowed for the weirdness to shine even more.

Vote: NYCSPITZ

[asylum]

kannon - i was reading then read this and went, whoa?
but when you wake up you will find that its my victory
when you realize that im alive, and ive been dying to breath
i made you kill your whole family while they were going to sleep
that escalated quickly. then i got here...
im the one who says no when you need to come over to pee
im the mystery meat in your taco when you re rolling your weed
im the forced rhyme in your topical when youre slowly debris
hmmm. wondering if you're serious at this point.
and then come home and write a topical, hello it is me.
nope. ... nice no show verse =) started pretty strong.
nycspitz- so basically somebody made a beanie baby on acid. but you made it sound really fucking cool. enjoyed this line in particular, now that i've come to the ending,
Todd took out a ball of yawn and the accompanying needle kit...
and sewed a symbol on the rug. Some sort of weird demon shit
enjoyed the rhymes and the story itself. twist was pretty funny.
/v nycspitz - i think he won because he told a solid story that had a twist. also, the writing was... better.