AOWL CONTENDER MATCH: NYCSPITZ (4-1) vs CopyPat (4-1) -- CopyPat 6-0

[King Ra.]

AOWL Season IV, Week 6


OFFICIAL RULES:
Verses are due Friday, November 7th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 16 lines.

Votes are due Sunday, November 9th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.


TOPIC:


Place Your Bets


Good luck, NYCSPITZ and CopyPat.

[NYCSPITZ]

Colored chips slide over the oval surface; these faces are tense
Corey's cylindrical metropolis dwindles to nothing - the stakes are immense
Mafia Moe and Math Lou round out this trio of poker fiends
The latter two bourboned and coked up, never dealing with sober means
smiling sadly at his King pair, Moe smiles and makes the decision to die
hoping that Corey can win...only the winner leaves, rich and alive.
The huge undertaker grabs his shotty, walks over to Moe and blasts him
Corey steels his eyes. He won't entertain seven dead jokers' distraction
A gorgeous blonde throws Corey an ace pair. His breath stops, he's scared...
facing the number master in Lou - thick glasses, deranged mops of hair
Deuce-deuce typically wins, even with awkward ass flops prepared
an imperceptible grin lines Lou's eye. And Corey's chilled, shocked and scared
He sees the look in his opponent's eyes, and soothes his fanatical breathing
Lou's a psychopath in addition to being a mathematical demon
Math Lou calculates his 92 percent victory, with his advantage he calls quick -
but Corey senses his wife and son on his side...and says it poker faced: "I'm all in"



.

[CopyPat]

I’m always on the grind, trying to hustle some cash
Money always on my mind, but in the customers’ hands
The quality is fine, you can trust in the brand
But I gotta reason why you should just get the plan
I’m a retail salesman, dealin’ televisions
Email sendin’, schemin’, lecture givin
Tryna sell warranty, to keep percentage hittin’
But these guys are all over me, to beat the effin’ system
Like I can add it as freebies, like some magical genie
Man it just eats me, how these savages treat me
Sure, I’ll get my manager briefly.. so we can give it away
There goes my package completely, and the commission I’d make
Oh you’ll pass on the service plan? Yeah sweet that’s great
I wanna stab and just murder faggot cheap-ass lames
But I keep half sane, in knowing the risk they take
They're betting it won't.. I’m hoping their shit just breaks

[Vulgar]

NYCSPITZ - Interesting verse. From what I took away from it, it was about a villainous group of Poker players who were playing for very high stakes. I imagined different variations of the Joker, or generally ruthless henchmen, and one who was slightly more down to Earth is put in a bad spot, and he's all in with his family at risk. Decent storyline and interpretation.

Copypat - This is what I expected from you, but at the same time you are getting better at hitting topics directly. It was a good breakdown of the woes of being a commission salesman. I dug it.

My vote goes to CopyPat for an easier-going verse that I liked a little more.

[Zen]

I read this last night high as FUCK and busted out laughing at Pat's verse. NYC's verse was cool and it was well written, but then I read Pat's and in my mind there was really no question as to had the better verse. Pat is the king of humorous topicals. The thing about it is though, while they're funny as fuck, they still are technically sound. Everything Pat writes flows effortlessly. Got me all jealous and shit. Fuck you, Pat.

Don't get me wrong, NYC. Just because I'm praising Pat this whole time doesn't mean your verse wasn't good because it was, it might've even been great. It just pales in comparison to Pat's. You could put that verse up against 99.9% of other verses and you'd fucking win. This week though, you went up against Patrick, and I think this just might be his year. Instant HOF Pat.

V/Pat

[big baby]

rofl. Cool, I liked copypats more and NYC was stupid with attempts to be subtle and had many stuffies like alliteration sprinkled around internally that was horrid. Copypat outshone his opponent here and fucked him in the ass with a clever story.

v/pat

edit: mathematical demon lmao wtf

[Witty]

Cool battle bros, very entertaining.

NYC - I love how you use words, imperceptible grin would be a good example of what I mean, it's always nice to see people word things in a way that can make something that may have been cliched instead come across as original. This was a well thought out piece, I wasn't left feeling like it should have been shorter or longer, it was the perfect length imo the short verse format suits your style very well, enjoyed the verse, good shit man.

Copy - This was dope my friend, your flow is always effortless and you make your pieces open and available to anyone (your pieces are sluts brah!) which is something I love and try to promote as much as possible, there's no trying to figure out what is happening which leaves the reader free to enjoy the story and really roll with the rhyming, which was top notch as usual, your humour is always well received, you did your thing as usual here, props dood.

Gonna give this to CopyPat but it was closer than the votes make it seem.

[Dove Dozer]

nyc - really solid verse. great imagery as well. pretty twisted littlr story. dope for a short 16.

copy- dope effortless rhyming as usual. story flowed really well, and your rhyme scheme was solid all the way through.

vote- copypat

[kannon]

PLACE YOUR BETS

NYC. I love the visual of a "cylindrical metropolis." Well played. But the "smiling sadly... moe smiles" line was, well you know. redundant. My complaint comes soon after Moe dies. Why did Moe die when the cards weren't even done being dealt yet? And why did he fold with Kings? This is gonna be tough, because I used to play poker like 3-4 times a week. And none of these plays make sense to me. It sounds like we've got Lou with 2-2. Moe with kings. and Corey with rockets. And then the flop comes, right? the "awkward ass flop," right? But why did Moe fold with kings? Especially when Corey didn't seem to even have is second card yet. And the flop hadn't even come. There was no betting at that point. Look, this seems like a cool idea, but the execution is confusing as shit to me. This is why I hated that Casino Royale movie. The poker scene was entirely unbelievable. And how would Lou have a 92% chance with deuces over Corey's aces? I just don't get it. And if Lou just CALLED at the end, Corey doesn't get to bet again, so he CANT go all in. :(:(:(

Copypat. Seems super rushed. Strangely enough, while rushed, it still had some dope schemes. the manager briefly/package completely, give it away/commission id make lines were dope. and the guy just settling into defeat as he know's his sale is shot was pretty entertaining, "yeah sweet, thats great." closer was a little anti-climactic, but it served its purpose. Definitely entertaining. Against a better verse, this may not hold up, but I have too many quarrels with NYCs verse this week, which gives you an easy leg up.

Sorry Spits, the vote is for COPY