King Ra.
11-06-2014, 04:23 AM
AOWL IV Magazine
Introduction
Welcome to the Week 6 edition of the AOWL magazine. We're halfway through the season now & so far, Certain is still the champion. Will Mr. J be the first to end his streak? Or will he be the next victim? This is the magazine before the upcoming transition & next week will be the midseason edition. I'm cutting to the chase on this one with an extra hand from Certain, so let's just get in to it.
Week IV Battle Reviews
written by Certain
1. dead man beats Three-Planes-Aligned 6-3. | Big Brother and the Holding Company, "Piece of my Heart"
After a tough loss last week, dead man came back with that fire this week. He wrote a verse about gluttony, which was such a great take on this topic. Three-Planes-Aligned wrote a strong verse with a great finish about writing, but it conceptually didn't hang and lyrically lacked the consistency required to match up with one of my favorites of the season.
2. Dominate beats zygote 5-0. | Elton John, "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"
We've only seen two verses from Dominate, and both have shown that he's good enough to champ this league. He's a bit like oats mixed with Soulstice. His verse on nobility was really well-polished and directly relevant to the phrase topic. zygote went with a pretty tangential topic relation and used a weak rhyme scheme, but I enjoyed his verse for its grim outlook on humanity and ties to the song rather than the title.
3. Certain beats Witty 7-6. | The Beatles, "While My Guitar Gentle Weeps"
Here's why I wrote 12 lines: 1) I knew I didn't have much time Friday or any time Saturday, which was my birthday and wanted to write something good rather than rushing through something of normal length; 2) The central concept of my verse was The Beatles' brief career span, and I thought the short verse reflected that; 3) I really liked the way the verse flowed together; and 4) I figured Witty was more likely to show if I went short and he felt he had a chance to beat me while drunk Saturday night. Yes, I put a lot of thought into these things. Witty had a pretty cool but very traditional topical verse with a twist that I thought was a bit too obvious. His rhyming is great.
4. CopyPat beats Soulstice 5-1. | Alice Cooper, "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
This was a pretty cool battle, though I don't think either of these guys fully hit stride. CopyPat's straight-forwardness won out over Soulstice's shades of gray, largely because CopyPat took on the topic in a better way and wrote the more enjoyable verse. His downtrodden Alice character was very clever. Soulstice had a great verse buried in his full verse.
5. Mr. J beats UnbornBuddha wins 6-0. | The Rolling Stones, "Tumblin' Dice"
This battle (unlike the other two shutouts this week, to be honest) was closer than the final result. Mr. J got on a role and painted a scene very well of an addicted gambler and a bluesy scene to match the song. UnbornBuddha decided to use the image as his topic and created a cross-mythical world, but he slowed down too much in plot development and squeezed too many big words into too small a place.
6. Greed beats asylum 5-0. | Bob Dylan, "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'"
Greed had a sneakily good verse and has actually been pretty solid all season since losing to theMuzzl3, despite a 2-3 record. He wrote about self-exploration through a spirit quest-esque journey into the wilderness. patrown/asylum (I can combine your accounts if you'd like) went with some horrorcore shit that didn't resonate despite solid rhymes and decent imagery.
7. King Ra. wins via Innovator no-show. | The Beatles, "Hey Jude"
You can read my thoughts on King Ra.'s verse in the No-Show Shine section, but he wrote a very clean verse that covered the topic. Innovator doesn't write clean but probably would have written something more interesting that frustratingly ended midstream and had 18 spelling errors in 14 lines.
8. timeless wins via Mike Wrecka no-show. | Cream, "White Room"
I liked the direction timeless headed here, with a terrorist being discussed by his lawyer in front of a courtroom, but he's still forcing rhymes a bit too much. This was a tough topic, though, and his concept did well. It's very possible he would have beaten Mike Wrecka, who always plays up or down to his competition.
9. Defiant wins via Camp Bell no-show. | The Rolling Stones, "Sympathy for the Devil"
Defiant was writing what seemed like an OK verse with way-too-stretched lines and forced repetition/variation structures. Given that his wins have come via two no-shows and a no-show verse, it's tough to know what to make of Defiant. Hopefully we'll get some clarity as he faces Dominate. Camp Bell probably was masturbating.
10. Frank and Pinot Grij both no-show. | Paul McCartney and Wings, "Live and Let Die"
This could have been the best battle of the week.
No Show Shine
written by The King
King Ra. on The Beatles' "Hey Jude"
King Ra. sometimes needs to dial it back with his league verses. He shows so much ambition sometimes as the entire future of the world tends to be weighing on the deity conflicts of so many of his verses. Here, he pulled back and wrote a nice little verse about a relationship gone wrong. The twist was pretty obvious and ineffective, and the concept as a whole is pretty well-trodden ground in topical battling. But the writing was solid and well-defined, and the voice felt true most of the time. It's not a verse that would compete against an elite opponent, but it probably would have been enough to beat a typical Innovator effort.
I knew I shouldn't have taken what we did that far, it's pressing my nerves
it's funny how everything comes back around when feelings are hurt.
I didn't mean to play with your mind, nor tug at your hearts strings
I'm a gentlemen who knows better, so please believe my heart stings.
The thought alone has tormented me, just as much as you do.
You haunt my dreams daily, & so does knowing the truth.
I still have your letter on my dresser, I remember every word
your deep obsession for my love that you probably deserved.
It's just time to let it go, let me be at peace with my guilt & regrets,
I apologize for everything, though you're always upset.
Defiant on Rolling Stones "Sympathy for the Devil"
If this match up went down between Defiant/Camp bell, I'm sure it'd be pretty close based on what Def dropped. But he figured that Camp would no show & decided to drop the bit that he had. This wasn't the most impressive piece of writing. He's written much better so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. There were a couple errors in this piece but most glaringly, the direction he was going was a bit bland. Nonetheless, he picked up a no show win, once again.
Imagine being at the forefront, imagine being the leader of a whole country
Imagine having everyone's life in your hands, imagine what's it's like to see the hungry
There dirty dismantled faces, there horrible pitiful existence
Why can't I just look out the window? Why do I have to see these beings in full distance?
My resentful upbringing has me outraged, a father who shouldn't have a kin
Brought up from a father who shouldn't have a kin, an hereditary anger from within
Most kids have a doting father, kids aren't meant to have a care in life
Most kids should of been able to trust there father, so how can I trust my wife
Imagine being the son and heir of a political hate figure, imagine my distaste
Imagine seeing the anarchy your father delivered, imagine how my childhood was misplaced
timeless on CREAM "White Room"
You can always bank on timeless to drop a full story no matter the opponent & no matter if they no show. This week, timeless tells the story of a 'college teen turned terrorist?' & I must say, it wasn't really one of his good verses direction wise. The concept is pretty fresh, but I felt he could have done better guiding the story more clearly, because the beginning part didn't really seem to fit where the story eventually went, at least from my perspective. He did dial back on the rhyming a bit, an area he still can improve upon. Nonetheless, the idea alone off the topic was a good one, and you can always count on time to come up with a creative concept.
He acknowledged this, fell in love with the idea that Crimea holds the keys.
Such an honest, private group of polished scholars from overseas,
some say they're czarists, yet anything new to Dan is sold to keep.
Calmer, he spoke of peace. With a finger they notioned East.
Told him not to give up and to always let his emotions breathe,
that there's more to life than living roles of a hopeless teen.
He thought he could help these 'terrorists' gain traction in the war,
even when his country's preparing these fascists a detour.
Studied and trained for hours, came in contact with a reigning power.
Devoured his last american meal before he bathed and showered.
When Dan went to the airport to leave, he was snagged on the sleeve.
A man in a suit said, "Please, come with me so the masses can breathe."
Soulstice Interview
with Certain
Hi, Soulstice. We figured since it's short-verse week here in the Art of Writing League, it'd be appropriate to interview the Short-Verse Topical Tournament champion. Do you think you have a leg up this week?
Nope not against zygote. The guy has continued to show he can write a piece using any constraint imaginable and make it work. The piece he wrote against me was called the long goo...oodbye and his piece formed an acrostic poem with like 40 lines beginning with a word with the letter o. I think the experience I have with writing short verses, since I had the most battles, will even the battleground a bit, but zyg is a topical machine.
Facing zygote is always weird because he's already posted his verse. Are you going to read it before you decide how to approach your own?
I very nearly never read my opponents verses. Haven't read copy's, haven't read witty's, both who beat me. You'd think I would check them out but theres just something that stifles my interest. I've heard other writers feel the same way about their battles. Usually if I agree with the feed they are giving me I figure their vote is justified enough and don't need to compare verses. Hell I didn't even read the previously mentioned zygote verse, I just marveled at it's structure but also thought the acrostic was corny. I thought I should've won. But anyways I actually did read his verse this week. it was good. When his characters are everyday humans he writes their internal monologues tackling the elephant in the room. It's funny in a very-human-so-its-morbid type of way.
Give the hungry competitors here a few bits of wisdom on how to succeed in the short-verse format.
Don't be redundant. Make sure every line is delivering something new, developing the character or forwarding the plot. There is no time for fun turns of phrase or tangential images to supplement an idea. Trust your reader and put the image, emotion, or action to page. Don't make rhyming a priority, but strong technical skills are impressive if they are observed AFTER the reader absorbs the story, in my opinion. Thats the formula i tried to follow.
I think it suits your style because it forces you to narrow your focus. Sometimes your verses get overlooked because of complexity, specifically in the content. Does that frustrate you?
Well, the past couple weeks I was pushed for time. Last week I beat adonis, I wrote about a cult leader who attracted young writers whos skill diminished under him. One writer got sick of it and killed him. He is recalling this in the piece. It wasn't well written. The words were cool but the piece was bad. Last week, was kind of eh as well. I rushed it at the end and I think I blew it. So I can roll with that. However, I wrote a piece against witty which I thought was really good and vulgar and black picked up on everything. Other people seemed to think it was about AIDS or something terribly off-base. It was one of the few personal pieces I've written and I liked it a lot so I was a little disappointed it went under the radar. So to answer your question, if I see a couple people pick up on it, and others don't, I get frustrated. However, I usually expect people to 'not get' a piece or think it's subpar before I post it because I know what type of effort I put into it. The past two weeks are good examples.
You haven't been around as long as me, but you've been around the block enough to remember the days when everyone was writing 60-plus line verses. Here, mercifully for voters, we tend to keep things quite a bit shorter. Why do you think this change has come, and how has it affected you and your experience here?
I used to write enormous pieces. I posted an old one in the om from an RB tourney because I liked the flow in it and wanted to get some feed. That's why I made that ***tus comment before the tourney, I was shocked I was able to do well in it. Tbh i tried really hard in the opening rounds because you or I think it was big baby predicted in my blurb in the mag "soulstice loses". I was like fuck that. Anyway, I see writer's I like a lot going shorter. Sometimes I wish they would expand, sometimes I think it's perfect. I think topical is in a transitionary period where people are working on nailing down the exact length of a piece where someone's attention can be held fully to digest the piece fully, which is an art in and of itself.
Do voters lack attention spans now? That seems like a reflection of society as a whole.
Yeah. Some do, some really suck. Some are really good. A lot of people I wish would give more in depth feed. Black and oats are two writers who always give excellent feed. Black used to not and now he does which is good. Certain, you always pick up on a lot of good stuff too. Vulgar and 3pa are two writers who I wish would go more in depth with their votes because they bring so much to the table with every verse. I used to be excellent at feeding, now I am a lazy asshole. El pancake and split gave real great feed as well, </3. Witty might give good feed but I can't remember a single vote of his I've ever read. He might be getting away with murder . Those are the names I can think of off the top of my head as far as reading/ability. Everyone else either gives pretty middling feed or I haven't read a vote. So yes, the majority aren't great which is annoying.
What are your goals in topical writing? Why do you continue to do it?
Vulgar recently sent me some links to some blogs which have published his work. That was interesting. I want to polish some of my shit up and send it along. I also want to get back to my roots in poetry. I started at RB and they honestly have some shockingly excellent poetry. Atticus, mindless, sharp, abiona, and mantra are some heads to look up if anybody is interested. Last week, I serendipitiously stumbled upon a literary festival in Boston. It was rather small, but I got some good journals and magazines to submit to. Probably traditional poetry but who knows. There is also some ambition here to get a book published, being spearheaded by oats. Same at RB by the poetry heads I previously mentioned,
Thanks for the time. Any closing thoughts?
I'll try to write better folks, more coherently. Or maybe I'll start drinking earlier in the day. It's a coin flip. Good luck this season everyone.
WEEK 5 PREDICTIONS
AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP: Certain (5-0) vs Mr. J (4-1)
The last time these two met in a championship match was season 2, where Mr. J defeated Certain handily, 7-1. At that time by the way, Certain was 4-0 (he's 5-0 right now) & Mr. J was 3-1 (he's 4-1) right now. Will history repeat itself? It's very possible. The tides are much different this time though. Certain was still finding his stride back in season 2, and if you see his progress up to now (which includes a AOWL season 3 championship & another unbeaten start), he's a much tougher guy to write against. Mr. J has the best chance to end his streak though. He's picked up the pace as well. I expect him to come with it & push Certain to the brink (as did Witty last week). Cert took his foot off the pedal last week a bit and still won. He won't let up here. The reign continues. PREDICTION: Cert, 55/45.
AOWL CONTENDER: NYCSPITZ (4-1) vs CopyPat (4-1)
These two, once again are back at it in another contender's match, due to some key losses from other competitors last week. SPITZ probably has written the best so far this season, and it's a bit surprising & refreshing to see him compete week by week, and at a high level. So I expect him to give Copy a very difficult run for his money. Sir Pat has held his own though, picked up a solid win over Soulstice last week, and hasn't let up writing wise either. I think it's the first time in AOWL's history that a paragraph written verse won a match by votes. I doubt a paragraph verse would beat an elite NYC verse though. If there is anyone who can dethrone Cert, I believe it's this guy. The rematch awaits. PREDICTION: NYCSPITZ, 60/40.
Defiant (3-1) vs Dominate (2-0)
All of Defiant's wins have practically come off no shows, even his 6-0 drubbing of Pancake, which Cake dropped a no show verse thinking Def wouldn't show & he actually did. He has a chance here to earn his first quality win of the season though against fellow battler Dominate, who pulled off a stunning victory against one of AOWL's winningest members, zygote. I expect Dom to continue his ascension as a topicalist, his writing certainly shows the ability. Defiant is going to actually have to drop a full verse that is written very well to hang in this one. Dom proved he can beat an elite writer, now he must show he can win consistently as well. Contendership awaits with a win here. PREDICTION: Dominate, 75/25.
timeless (3-2) vs dead man (3-2)
timeless knows what he is up against in this match up. So I'm expecting him to really write his ass off & make this a good match to read. dead man has been off & on this season, but it seems now he's getting back into form. He had a nice win over 3PA & if he can pull off a win here, he'll be in a contender match. But so can timeless. He needs a key victory & this would be a BIG one. It's hard to say he'll actually pull off the upset, but if he can, he'll have to show he can be consistent with his writing ability. He's capable of it, too. I see dead man itching towards a shot at that title though. PREDICTION: dead man, 75/25.
Witty (3-1) vs Unborn Buddha (3-1)
Last I checked, none of these two have checked in, so I'm hoping they show because this makes for a good match up. Witty lost a shot at the title by a vote last week against Cert, but he must feel very accomplished to have made it. Unborn is coming off a loss in the contender match. So this here is a rebound for whoever is looking to get back in the title hunt. Only one can win though. Both have been consistent in writing quality, each verse on point. If I had to choose one of these guys though, it'd have to be Witty, who has written very well this season. Obviously, after losing a close match, especially a title match, you can lose a bit of motivation. We'll see if Witty will continue rolling. Unborn will write well regardless, so this one will be close. PREDICTION: Witty, 55/45.
Dove Dozer (3-1) vs Vulgar (2-2)
Dove Dozer rejoins the league after a one week hiatus. He no showed a contenders match last time we seen him, & I'm sure he'll be looking to return to the top going against Vulgar, who also makes his way back in the league. Both haven't written consistently well thus far, especially Vulgar, who seems to have drifted off and on in his matches thus far. Hopefully we see Vintage Vulgar this week. Dozer faces a big threat here, he'll have to write something good if Vulgar does show in full form. I'll keep this close. PREDICTION: Vulgar, 55/45.
zygote (1-1) vs Soulstice (2-2)
Both are coming off huge losses, and after this week, someone will be on a two match losing streak. Hard to believe? Not really. This league is ultra competitive & no one can let off the gas any given week if you truly want to succeed. This will probably one of the best written matches this week though. We know zyg will bring us some form of entertainment & Soulstice has actually done very well writing wise, though sometimes he can overdo it. This is probably the most difficult match to predict. Based on the voting, I can see zyg's verse going over a lot of heads. Soulstice by a cinch. PREDICTION: Soulstice, 51/49.
Greed (2-3) vs kannon (2-3)
Greed continues to improve by the week, & coming off a solid win over asylum/patrown, he once again can get another key victory by defeating kannon. It'll much difficult to do, because kannon is a solid writer, but he showed last week anything is possible. kannon started off hot but has taken some hits of late, so this will be a good rebound match up for him. Greed can get one step closer to a contender match with a win this week & next week. And the other two battlers are competing for a spot next week. Crazy, ain't it? PREDICTION: kannon, 65/35.
Three-Planes-Aligned (2-2) vs asylum (1-3)
3PA lost to a really good dead man verse, so now he'll be looking to get back in the win column against a reeling patrown. patrown doesn't seem like he has written a fully thought out verse yet this season, so hopefully we see something of that nature, especially since this is a short verse week. 3PA can pack a lot of content in such a short format though, but a lot of times, he goes above & beyond a bit too much. This is a chance for patrown to take advantage especially in something he does so well in. Close call in the end. PREDICTION: 3PA, 55/45.[/u]
Vividlyvague (0-0) vs Athiest (0-0)
How's this for a match up? Vivid returns to the AOWL to face off against Athiest (whom I knew as Kuja during text-stars days). If both of these gentlemen show, this is going to be a doozy. I've yet to see Athiest post a full verse in the AOWL in a long time, so hopefully this marks a start in seeing him compete on a consistent basis. Vivid has been out for awhile. These two are probably a bit rusty. This is a solid warm up. I gotta go with AOWL bread & butter. PREDICTION: Vividlyvague, 60/40.
Zen (0-0) vs Storyteller (0-0)
Another solid match up for two competitors making their debut this season. It's been awhile since we've seen these two compete in this league and it's a pleasure to have them back. Like the aforementioned battle above, they are rusty in terms of topical competition, and the AOWL always presents difficult match ups every week, so these two will have the shot to show who is ready to make a move. Haven't read anything from Storyteller in ages. Zen hopefully will avoid paragraphs. Probably not. But it'll be enough.... this week. PREDICTION: Zen, 55/45.
Sincerely,
Midseason report next week. A fresh new system installed. Still the hottest league runnin'. Thanks to Certain for his contributions. Get ready. The King, signing out.
Introduction
Welcome to the Week 6 edition of the AOWL magazine. We're halfway through the season now & so far, Certain is still the champion. Will Mr. J be the first to end his streak? Or will he be the next victim? This is the magazine before the upcoming transition & next week will be the midseason edition. I'm cutting to the chase on this one with an extra hand from Certain, so let's just get in to it.
Week IV Battle Reviews
written by Certain
1. dead man beats Three-Planes-Aligned 6-3. | Big Brother and the Holding Company, "Piece of my Heart"
After a tough loss last week, dead man came back with that fire this week. He wrote a verse about gluttony, which was such a great take on this topic. Three-Planes-Aligned wrote a strong verse with a great finish about writing, but it conceptually didn't hang and lyrically lacked the consistency required to match up with one of my favorites of the season.
2. Dominate beats zygote 5-0. | Elton John, "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"
We've only seen two verses from Dominate, and both have shown that he's good enough to champ this league. He's a bit like oats mixed with Soulstice. His verse on nobility was really well-polished and directly relevant to the phrase topic. zygote went with a pretty tangential topic relation and used a weak rhyme scheme, but I enjoyed his verse for its grim outlook on humanity and ties to the song rather than the title.
3. Certain beats Witty 7-6. | The Beatles, "While My Guitar Gentle Weeps"
Here's why I wrote 12 lines: 1) I knew I didn't have much time Friday or any time Saturday, which was my birthday and wanted to write something good rather than rushing through something of normal length; 2) The central concept of my verse was The Beatles' brief career span, and I thought the short verse reflected that; 3) I really liked the way the verse flowed together; and 4) I figured Witty was more likely to show if I went short and he felt he had a chance to beat me while drunk Saturday night. Yes, I put a lot of thought into these things. Witty had a pretty cool but very traditional topical verse with a twist that I thought was a bit too obvious. His rhyming is great.
4. CopyPat beats Soulstice 5-1. | Alice Cooper, "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
This was a pretty cool battle, though I don't think either of these guys fully hit stride. CopyPat's straight-forwardness won out over Soulstice's shades of gray, largely because CopyPat took on the topic in a better way and wrote the more enjoyable verse. His downtrodden Alice character was very clever. Soulstice had a great verse buried in his full verse.
5. Mr. J beats UnbornBuddha wins 6-0. | The Rolling Stones, "Tumblin' Dice"
This battle (unlike the other two shutouts this week, to be honest) was closer than the final result. Mr. J got on a role and painted a scene very well of an addicted gambler and a bluesy scene to match the song. UnbornBuddha decided to use the image as his topic and created a cross-mythical world, but he slowed down too much in plot development and squeezed too many big words into too small a place.
6. Greed beats asylum 5-0. | Bob Dylan, "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'"
Greed had a sneakily good verse and has actually been pretty solid all season since losing to theMuzzl3, despite a 2-3 record. He wrote about self-exploration through a spirit quest-esque journey into the wilderness. patrown/asylum (I can combine your accounts if you'd like) went with some horrorcore shit that didn't resonate despite solid rhymes and decent imagery.
7. King Ra. wins via Innovator no-show. | The Beatles, "Hey Jude"
You can read my thoughts on King Ra.'s verse in the No-Show Shine section, but he wrote a very clean verse that covered the topic. Innovator doesn't write clean but probably would have written something more interesting that frustratingly ended midstream and had 18 spelling errors in 14 lines.
8. timeless wins via Mike Wrecka no-show. | Cream, "White Room"
I liked the direction timeless headed here, with a terrorist being discussed by his lawyer in front of a courtroom, but he's still forcing rhymes a bit too much. This was a tough topic, though, and his concept did well. It's very possible he would have beaten Mike Wrecka, who always plays up or down to his competition.
9. Defiant wins via Camp Bell no-show. | The Rolling Stones, "Sympathy for the Devil"
Defiant was writing what seemed like an OK verse with way-too-stretched lines and forced repetition/variation structures. Given that his wins have come via two no-shows and a no-show verse, it's tough to know what to make of Defiant. Hopefully we'll get some clarity as he faces Dominate. Camp Bell probably was masturbating.
10. Frank and Pinot Grij both no-show. | Paul McCartney and Wings, "Live and Let Die"
This could have been the best battle of the week.
No Show Shine
written by The King
King Ra. on The Beatles' "Hey Jude"
King Ra. sometimes needs to dial it back with his league verses. He shows so much ambition sometimes as the entire future of the world tends to be weighing on the deity conflicts of so many of his verses. Here, he pulled back and wrote a nice little verse about a relationship gone wrong. The twist was pretty obvious and ineffective, and the concept as a whole is pretty well-trodden ground in topical battling. But the writing was solid and well-defined, and the voice felt true most of the time. It's not a verse that would compete against an elite opponent, but it probably would have been enough to beat a typical Innovator effort.
I knew I shouldn't have taken what we did that far, it's pressing my nerves
it's funny how everything comes back around when feelings are hurt.
I didn't mean to play with your mind, nor tug at your hearts strings
I'm a gentlemen who knows better, so please believe my heart stings.
The thought alone has tormented me, just as much as you do.
You haunt my dreams daily, & so does knowing the truth.
I still have your letter on my dresser, I remember every word
your deep obsession for my love that you probably deserved.
It's just time to let it go, let me be at peace with my guilt & regrets,
I apologize for everything, though you're always upset.
Defiant on Rolling Stones "Sympathy for the Devil"
If this match up went down between Defiant/Camp bell, I'm sure it'd be pretty close based on what Def dropped. But he figured that Camp would no show & decided to drop the bit that he had. This wasn't the most impressive piece of writing. He's written much better so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. There were a couple errors in this piece but most glaringly, the direction he was going was a bit bland. Nonetheless, he picked up a no show win, once again.
Imagine being at the forefront, imagine being the leader of a whole country
Imagine having everyone's life in your hands, imagine what's it's like to see the hungry
There dirty dismantled faces, there horrible pitiful existence
Why can't I just look out the window? Why do I have to see these beings in full distance?
My resentful upbringing has me outraged, a father who shouldn't have a kin
Brought up from a father who shouldn't have a kin, an hereditary anger from within
Most kids have a doting father, kids aren't meant to have a care in life
Most kids should of been able to trust there father, so how can I trust my wife
Imagine being the son and heir of a political hate figure, imagine my distaste
Imagine seeing the anarchy your father delivered, imagine how my childhood was misplaced
timeless on CREAM "White Room"
You can always bank on timeless to drop a full story no matter the opponent & no matter if they no show. This week, timeless tells the story of a 'college teen turned terrorist?' & I must say, it wasn't really one of his good verses direction wise. The concept is pretty fresh, but I felt he could have done better guiding the story more clearly, because the beginning part didn't really seem to fit where the story eventually went, at least from my perspective. He did dial back on the rhyming a bit, an area he still can improve upon. Nonetheless, the idea alone off the topic was a good one, and you can always count on time to come up with a creative concept.
He acknowledged this, fell in love with the idea that Crimea holds the keys.
Such an honest, private group of polished scholars from overseas,
some say they're czarists, yet anything new to Dan is sold to keep.
Calmer, he spoke of peace. With a finger they notioned East.
Told him not to give up and to always let his emotions breathe,
that there's more to life than living roles of a hopeless teen.
He thought he could help these 'terrorists' gain traction in the war,
even when his country's preparing these fascists a detour.
Studied and trained for hours, came in contact with a reigning power.
Devoured his last american meal before he bathed and showered.
When Dan went to the airport to leave, he was snagged on the sleeve.
A man in a suit said, "Please, come with me so the masses can breathe."
Soulstice Interview
with Certain
Hi, Soulstice. We figured since it's short-verse week here in the Art of Writing League, it'd be appropriate to interview the Short-Verse Topical Tournament champion. Do you think you have a leg up this week?
Nope not against zygote. The guy has continued to show he can write a piece using any constraint imaginable and make it work. The piece he wrote against me was called the long goo...oodbye and his piece formed an acrostic poem with like 40 lines beginning with a word with the letter o. I think the experience I have with writing short verses, since I had the most battles, will even the battleground a bit, but zyg is a topical machine.
Facing zygote is always weird because he's already posted his verse. Are you going to read it before you decide how to approach your own?
I very nearly never read my opponents verses. Haven't read copy's, haven't read witty's, both who beat me. You'd think I would check them out but theres just something that stifles my interest. I've heard other writers feel the same way about their battles. Usually if I agree with the feed they are giving me I figure their vote is justified enough and don't need to compare verses. Hell I didn't even read the previously mentioned zygote verse, I just marveled at it's structure but also thought the acrostic was corny. I thought I should've won. But anyways I actually did read his verse this week. it was good. When his characters are everyday humans he writes their internal monologues tackling the elephant in the room. It's funny in a very-human-so-its-morbid type of way.
Give the hungry competitors here a few bits of wisdom on how to succeed in the short-verse format.
Don't be redundant. Make sure every line is delivering something new, developing the character or forwarding the plot. There is no time for fun turns of phrase or tangential images to supplement an idea. Trust your reader and put the image, emotion, or action to page. Don't make rhyming a priority, but strong technical skills are impressive if they are observed AFTER the reader absorbs the story, in my opinion. Thats the formula i tried to follow.
I think it suits your style because it forces you to narrow your focus. Sometimes your verses get overlooked because of complexity, specifically in the content. Does that frustrate you?
Well, the past couple weeks I was pushed for time. Last week I beat adonis, I wrote about a cult leader who attracted young writers whos skill diminished under him. One writer got sick of it and killed him. He is recalling this in the piece. It wasn't well written. The words were cool but the piece was bad. Last week, was kind of eh as well. I rushed it at the end and I think I blew it. So I can roll with that. However, I wrote a piece against witty which I thought was really good and vulgar and black picked up on everything. Other people seemed to think it was about AIDS or something terribly off-base. It was one of the few personal pieces I've written and I liked it a lot so I was a little disappointed it went under the radar. So to answer your question, if I see a couple people pick up on it, and others don't, I get frustrated. However, I usually expect people to 'not get' a piece or think it's subpar before I post it because I know what type of effort I put into it. The past two weeks are good examples.
You haven't been around as long as me, but you've been around the block enough to remember the days when everyone was writing 60-plus line verses. Here, mercifully for voters, we tend to keep things quite a bit shorter. Why do you think this change has come, and how has it affected you and your experience here?
I used to write enormous pieces. I posted an old one in the om from an RB tourney because I liked the flow in it and wanted to get some feed. That's why I made that ***tus comment before the tourney, I was shocked I was able to do well in it. Tbh i tried really hard in the opening rounds because you or I think it was big baby predicted in my blurb in the mag "soulstice loses". I was like fuck that. Anyway, I see writer's I like a lot going shorter. Sometimes I wish they would expand, sometimes I think it's perfect. I think topical is in a transitionary period where people are working on nailing down the exact length of a piece where someone's attention can be held fully to digest the piece fully, which is an art in and of itself.
Do voters lack attention spans now? That seems like a reflection of society as a whole.
Yeah. Some do, some really suck. Some are really good. A lot of people I wish would give more in depth feed. Black and oats are two writers who always give excellent feed. Black used to not and now he does which is good. Certain, you always pick up on a lot of good stuff too. Vulgar and 3pa are two writers who I wish would go more in depth with their votes because they bring so much to the table with every verse. I used to be excellent at feeding, now I am a lazy asshole. El pancake and split gave real great feed as well, </3. Witty might give good feed but I can't remember a single vote of his I've ever read. He might be getting away with murder . Those are the names I can think of off the top of my head as far as reading/ability. Everyone else either gives pretty middling feed or I haven't read a vote. So yes, the majority aren't great which is annoying.
What are your goals in topical writing? Why do you continue to do it?
Vulgar recently sent me some links to some blogs which have published his work. That was interesting. I want to polish some of my shit up and send it along. I also want to get back to my roots in poetry. I started at RB and they honestly have some shockingly excellent poetry. Atticus, mindless, sharp, abiona, and mantra are some heads to look up if anybody is interested. Last week, I serendipitiously stumbled upon a literary festival in Boston. It was rather small, but I got some good journals and magazines to submit to. Probably traditional poetry but who knows. There is also some ambition here to get a book published, being spearheaded by oats. Same at RB by the poetry heads I previously mentioned,
Thanks for the time. Any closing thoughts?
I'll try to write better folks, more coherently. Or maybe I'll start drinking earlier in the day. It's a coin flip. Good luck this season everyone.
WEEK 5 PREDICTIONS
AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP: Certain (5-0) vs Mr. J (4-1)
The last time these two met in a championship match was season 2, where Mr. J defeated Certain handily, 7-1. At that time by the way, Certain was 4-0 (he's 5-0 right now) & Mr. J was 3-1 (he's 4-1) right now. Will history repeat itself? It's very possible. The tides are much different this time though. Certain was still finding his stride back in season 2, and if you see his progress up to now (which includes a AOWL season 3 championship & another unbeaten start), he's a much tougher guy to write against. Mr. J has the best chance to end his streak though. He's picked up the pace as well. I expect him to come with it & push Certain to the brink (as did Witty last week). Cert took his foot off the pedal last week a bit and still won. He won't let up here. The reign continues. PREDICTION: Cert, 55/45.
AOWL CONTENDER: NYCSPITZ (4-1) vs CopyPat (4-1)
These two, once again are back at it in another contender's match, due to some key losses from other competitors last week. SPITZ probably has written the best so far this season, and it's a bit surprising & refreshing to see him compete week by week, and at a high level. So I expect him to give Copy a very difficult run for his money. Sir Pat has held his own though, picked up a solid win over Soulstice last week, and hasn't let up writing wise either. I think it's the first time in AOWL's history that a paragraph written verse won a match by votes. I doubt a paragraph verse would beat an elite NYC verse though. If there is anyone who can dethrone Cert, I believe it's this guy. The rematch awaits. PREDICTION: NYCSPITZ, 60/40.
Defiant (3-1) vs Dominate (2-0)
All of Defiant's wins have practically come off no shows, even his 6-0 drubbing of Pancake, which Cake dropped a no show verse thinking Def wouldn't show & he actually did. He has a chance here to earn his first quality win of the season though against fellow battler Dominate, who pulled off a stunning victory against one of AOWL's winningest members, zygote. I expect Dom to continue his ascension as a topicalist, his writing certainly shows the ability. Defiant is going to actually have to drop a full verse that is written very well to hang in this one. Dom proved he can beat an elite writer, now he must show he can win consistently as well. Contendership awaits with a win here. PREDICTION: Dominate, 75/25.
timeless (3-2) vs dead man (3-2)
timeless knows what he is up against in this match up. So I'm expecting him to really write his ass off & make this a good match to read. dead man has been off & on this season, but it seems now he's getting back into form. He had a nice win over 3PA & if he can pull off a win here, he'll be in a contender match. But so can timeless. He needs a key victory & this would be a BIG one. It's hard to say he'll actually pull off the upset, but if he can, he'll have to show he can be consistent with his writing ability. He's capable of it, too. I see dead man itching towards a shot at that title though. PREDICTION: dead man, 75/25.
Witty (3-1) vs Unborn Buddha (3-1)
Last I checked, none of these two have checked in, so I'm hoping they show because this makes for a good match up. Witty lost a shot at the title by a vote last week against Cert, but he must feel very accomplished to have made it. Unborn is coming off a loss in the contender match. So this here is a rebound for whoever is looking to get back in the title hunt. Only one can win though. Both have been consistent in writing quality, each verse on point. If I had to choose one of these guys though, it'd have to be Witty, who has written very well this season. Obviously, after losing a close match, especially a title match, you can lose a bit of motivation. We'll see if Witty will continue rolling. Unborn will write well regardless, so this one will be close. PREDICTION: Witty, 55/45.
Dove Dozer (3-1) vs Vulgar (2-2)
Dove Dozer rejoins the league after a one week hiatus. He no showed a contenders match last time we seen him, & I'm sure he'll be looking to return to the top going against Vulgar, who also makes his way back in the league. Both haven't written consistently well thus far, especially Vulgar, who seems to have drifted off and on in his matches thus far. Hopefully we see Vintage Vulgar this week. Dozer faces a big threat here, he'll have to write something good if Vulgar does show in full form. I'll keep this close. PREDICTION: Vulgar, 55/45.
zygote (1-1) vs Soulstice (2-2)
Both are coming off huge losses, and after this week, someone will be on a two match losing streak. Hard to believe? Not really. This league is ultra competitive & no one can let off the gas any given week if you truly want to succeed. This will probably one of the best written matches this week though. We know zyg will bring us some form of entertainment & Soulstice has actually done very well writing wise, though sometimes he can overdo it. This is probably the most difficult match to predict. Based on the voting, I can see zyg's verse going over a lot of heads. Soulstice by a cinch. PREDICTION: Soulstice, 51/49.
Greed (2-3) vs kannon (2-3)
Greed continues to improve by the week, & coming off a solid win over asylum/patrown, he once again can get another key victory by defeating kannon. It'll much difficult to do, because kannon is a solid writer, but he showed last week anything is possible. kannon started off hot but has taken some hits of late, so this will be a good rebound match up for him. Greed can get one step closer to a contender match with a win this week & next week. And the other two battlers are competing for a spot next week. Crazy, ain't it? PREDICTION: kannon, 65/35.
Three-Planes-Aligned (2-2) vs asylum (1-3)
3PA lost to a really good dead man verse, so now he'll be looking to get back in the win column against a reeling patrown. patrown doesn't seem like he has written a fully thought out verse yet this season, so hopefully we see something of that nature, especially since this is a short verse week. 3PA can pack a lot of content in such a short format though, but a lot of times, he goes above & beyond a bit too much. This is a chance for patrown to take advantage especially in something he does so well in. Close call in the end. PREDICTION: 3PA, 55/45.[/u]
Vividlyvague (0-0) vs Athiest (0-0)
How's this for a match up? Vivid returns to the AOWL to face off against Athiest (whom I knew as Kuja during text-stars days). If both of these gentlemen show, this is going to be a doozy. I've yet to see Athiest post a full verse in the AOWL in a long time, so hopefully this marks a start in seeing him compete on a consistent basis. Vivid has been out for awhile. These two are probably a bit rusty. This is a solid warm up. I gotta go with AOWL bread & butter. PREDICTION: Vividlyvague, 60/40.
Zen (0-0) vs Storyteller (0-0)
Another solid match up for two competitors making their debut this season. It's been awhile since we've seen these two compete in this league and it's a pleasure to have them back. Like the aforementioned battle above, they are rusty in terms of topical competition, and the AOWL always presents difficult match ups every week, so these two will have the shot to show who is ready to make a move. Haven't read anything from Storyteller in ages. Zen hopefully will avoid paragraphs. Probably not. But it'll be enough.... this week. PREDICTION: Zen, 55/45.
Sincerely,
Midseason report next week. A fresh new system installed. Still the hottest league runnin'. Thanks to Certain for his contributions. Get ready. The King, signing out.