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View Full Version : spineal gland


brokenhal0
11-08-2014, 06:31 AM
rap written written back the black ribbon
fact given god risen under stars of wax crimson
fire starter in the dark my sparks glisten
gibbons eyes tear when jungle bark starts sizzlin
suns close ascend to the front post we gun ho
my soul remember more clips then automatic gun shows
compose in composed states composed in a controlled plane
compost to grow veins in the swamp tho move stock
and hold change brains blocked they blow caine
cocaine the same rock that snows rains steam to gas
then glows strange ill express the plainer fact hidden in close range
love that controls pain humor from flaws that grow to own names
within the system animal nature i spear it to explain
im my own sane inner chains to devils chair clear picture
poker game lets place a bet important people lay in rest
its easy to slay the flesh i rather escape the chase of death
and just disappear when there aint no phases left swept away
the faceless deaf blind to the place it left left away
to reincarnate until a snake ate its neck loop lord
i spray a chypre from 1986 strong odors like musky sex
moon phases dictate if i lick blood from a bladed neck
vamp life until the lights went out in the campsite
pure darkness the stuff that makes moths fly past the lamplight
lamprey in the spinal chakra spineless shrines of plier doctors
the wire choppers and original crooks lower planes
land to closer sponsors my visions are cooked

dead man
11-08-2014, 10:21 AM
Dope

Wise Wiggles
11-08-2014, 11:09 AM
wicked rawness. always a pleasure.

dead man
11-08-2014, 11:22 AM
a/s/l

Mr. J
11-08-2014, 01:34 PM
"more clips than"

Pretty cool the beginning was kind of bumpy
you either are just grasping the english language
decided to drop a drunken verse or just don't care
either way as you progressed the verse really shined
it had a old fashioned feel to it too...so you may have done work before
I can't recall the name either way nice work

brokenhal0
11-09-2014, 04:59 PM
mr j i seriously have no idea how to punctuate my writing is on a 6th grade level im proud of it tho lol

Mr. J
11-09-2014, 05:14 PM
I applaud your generosity on writing an above average verse though
a lot of people treat it like they're writing a song ugh

zygote
11-09-2014, 09:16 PM
Excellent spacing of the multiple rhymes. Unique turn of phrase and interesting subject matter. The train of thought tangential content is a bit like word association at times. Very good effort.