AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: [1]Certain (6-0) vs. [2]CopyPat (5-1) [Certain wins, 8-0.]

[King Ra.]

AOWL Season IV, Week 7


OFFICIAL RULES:

Verses are due Friday, November 14th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Sunday, November 16th, 11:59p.m. PCT/2:59a.m. EST/7:59a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.


TOPIC: Click here. (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=105432)


Good luck. Certain CopyPat

[Certain]

The arrogance soothes. Reflexive action, parroting gloom.
The usual clichés spill over into cynical, nefarious moods.
It's all revisionist. Counting seconds until hope shatters,
picking up the pieces with a crooked wire coat-hanger.
You've got that look again. The roll of the eyes
remotely controlling your latest disguise with the loneliest sighs.
It's getting cold. November. With a sickly pale blue cloaking the skies
that kind of reflects your attitude toward most other people.
We're smoking outside.
The Zippo glows in the gloaming, defining
the silhouette of you in the same place you always would hide.
Disposable lies told to a disposable crowd.
Eyes to the ground, shifty. Preferring when no one's around.
It's easier this way. Immersed in minutiae, evoking distortion.
Most people try not to leave themselves open to torment,
but you, your masochism has deep roots and trimmed stems,
so when you drowned your sorrows, they regrew with additional heads.
I'm speaking to you. All twitchy mannerisms with none of the etiquette
and a habit of talking out of the side of your mouth with stuttering emphasis.
We could have been somebody, but you couldn't stomach the sedatives.
Popped a Molly. You're sweating. Nervously searching the premises
for exits that don't exist. The tourniquet bends and twists,
but you're better off hung out to dry than immersed as a pessimist.
And that's the problem. Hitting pause, hoping but not assuming
that the world revolves around you because you're the only one not moving.
And there it is. The opposite of a pro is a con. Yes, it's true,
yet the opposite of progress is you.
It's seeming pointless. All of it. Pretending you're anointed
but never quite ending on a point, unsettled and disjointed
when everything would be better if you just shut up and enjoyed it
and embraced the fact that death is just a coin-flip.
Instead, you've settled for this narcissistic avatar
where you hardly can control your darkest passengers.
And though your vanity exposes your own dysfunction clearer,
maybe it's time you get away from that motherfucking mirror.

[CopyPat]

"What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient. Highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed — fully understood —that sticks."

I’ve got this idea that I’m in need of a fresh truck
It’s winter in Canada, and it’s easy to get stuck
Believe me, it’s not quick, we’re freezing for 10 months
My feet have been frostbit, I’m beat and just fed up
My V8 is set up with rear wheel drive
Which is teasing with death once I near real ice
I’m in fear here, why? Cause I’m accident prone
When I steer, veer wide. Got no traction control
So when the chassis is cold, I’m a risk on these roads
And I’d rather be home, then in some ditch in the snow
So I’m ditchin this old two thousand and one beast
Cause it’s a victory only if I get out it in one piece
Highly doubt it for some reason, so I’ve made up my mind
Highway bound, I’m done teasin, gimme papers to sign

But I’ve got this idea that I don’t really wanna work
Anything more than part time soundin silly and absurd
And I’m really not concerned that the funds would be low
If there’s anything I learned, money comes and it goes
So I’m done with the notion of slaving for cash
I have fun, but controlled, and I save what I have
I take about half of every summer off at least
Then I bake and I tan from all the sun engulfin me
Cause I’m such a golfin fiend, plus hockey and tennis
I just revolve the three, friends always is jealous

Then I got these ideas.. after I test drove some trucks
Add this, and option that, I want the best yo, whatsup?
If I’m buying new, it’s time to choose, and you better chrome it up
By the time I’m through, I kinda splooged, it gets expensive, holy fuck
Like this is senseless blowing bucks on the warranty already
But what’s another 6 grand on the 40 we’re spending?
It’s sort of depressing to think of the debt that I owe
But it’s more just impressive the things that my credit can show
So I let it just go. Enjoy it while it lasts, and I’m soaking it up
The most important idea I have, is that you only live once
That motive has stuck, even though the count of my dollars is shrinking
I mostly lead the life I want, and that’s the power of positive thinking

[NYCSPITZ]

Dope battle. Torn between dead vs Dom and this for botw. First read I had copy. Second read I gotcertain. Thought he had more depth, and while copy was Def ill and had in my opinion the more clever ending I thought he was a bit too rhyme focused. CCertain was more dense and a bit of a tougher read but I was engaged throughout. Copy wins the clever twist and had a crazy ill early Eminem type flow but certain takes it for creating a more complex character

V certain

[Spoken]

Dope concepts and dtyle. Copy went with the more hip hop my life groove but predictable to me for that topic.. so origin of the topic showed ehhh crestivity but the content and diction was nice and smooth. Certain man honestly u have stepped up nicely in evolving ur writing. The flow was smooth the fiction was on point and just nice sporadic moments really blossomed. Dope battle honestly I loved both verses but the cryptic defiance from certain played well all the way thru .

Mvgt: certain

[Systemic Infection]

Copy had a fluxing groove that seemed to stem from the hip-hop culture.
The groove/vibe didn't get the needed supplement from the concept of his writing, as it should have gotten.
Certain had a deeper, more intricate concept behind his work which gave him 1 edge.
The vocabulary is at larger degree which is another edge.
Based on just those edges, Certain captures the win.
Still, it was a good battle.

MVGT: Certain

[Arid]

Vote-Certain, for kicking me in the balls of my soul.

[Defiant]

Certain

the middle part of your verse was great for me, drown your sorrows down, i felt you got better as the verse went on and the whole read got smoother, thought u had a stroke at one point when talking out the side of your mouth, the whole drug thing i feel like i seen it before, it wasnt the most creavity way to go with the topic imo but it was pretty much done to perfection

Copy

this read so easy, rhyming was on point, vocabulary was maybe a bit lacking and wasn't as the same standard as certain, I like the ending but I dunno I wasn't crazy about it, felt certain maybe told a better story yours had a better twist, definely better twist but as a whole I preferred certain drop



vote certain

[Mr. J]

This was an interesting battle to say the least
my BOTW...

both writers came with a complete view on what they were writing on
which gives the title battles more worth while then other writers who slack off
*ahem* anyway I feel like you both came correct and adapted your style to the piece
which was nice, it shined through both verses and it comes down to fluency...
at least to me, and as far as that goes I feel Certain has this one...
Copy came through with the style that has made him popular, and it shows
but I feel like he somewhat fell short on the topic, in my opinion anyway
I didn't really catch where he was going in the end, and it effected the topic
either way I feel both did some work this title match

v/Certain

[dead man]

certain -- this was one of those works that felt like it wrote itself through you. if that makes any sense. it wasn't until the end i realized which topic you may have been referring to, but the narcissism / mirror connection was strong throughout this verse on the second and third read through. i thought your wording, as far as it goes, was a bit clunky on the mind at the beginning. i didnt particularly like the words you chose to rhyme and it sort of drew me out of the beginning portion of this entry. you definitely picked up steam as you continued and seemed to find your stride about 1/3 into it. around

Disposable lies told to a disposable crowd.
Eyes to the ground, shifty. Preferring when no one's around.
It's easier this way. Immersed in minutiae, evoking distortion.
Most people try not to leave themselves open to torment,
you began to sink into a more comfortable rhythm and your colors clicked.

i say this wrote itself because thats the way these works tend to go. something like a character sketch (depending on how evocative the character) seems to spill from a core idea, a baseline personality trait in an effortless stream. the material is at the forefront of your brain. easier to receive, express, so forth

i think you gave us a very well-written study in narcissism and a tad more direct moroseness than I'm used to seeing from you.

highlight:

And that's the problem. Hitting pause, hoping but not assuming
that the world revolves around you because you're the only one not moving.
And there it is. The opposite of a pro is a con. Yes, it's true,
yet the opposite of progress is you.


COPY

i find it hard to dislike this verse. you seem like a cool motherfucker tbh. i definitely respect the very literal, very autobiographical aspect of this drop and mostly everything you write and post here. you are 1 part lyricism and 12 parts personality. very refreshing and light-hearted which is what we really need around here sometimes in contrast to the heavy-handedness that accompanies a lot of the creative urges in this league. you never get tired of being yourself. whats funny is - everything you wrote about here, i already knew about you (as far as the part-time work and taking summers off, living in canada, and stance on the workaholic syndrome) which both helped and hindered your approach here. i liked reading about it, because i like you and your genuine, good-hearted nature -- but it really didnt do anything for me creatively. it was essentially a journal entry that rhymed. well done for sure but nothing that expressed anything provoking or especially transportive. a glimpse into your life that you were able to connect (vaguely) to a topic. an idea, your philosophy on life. i appreciate your execution but with all due respect homie this felt more lazy than anything else.

with that said, although this was a dope champ match --

going with Certain here

thanks, and take care

[Vulgar]

Certain - Half suave, half Swahili. You showed up with key lines that made this pop off. A good mixture of crafty observations and gratifying flow. One issue I had which I'm not sure if it was intended is the first couple of lines you talk about clichés, and then follow with 'counting seconds' 'shattering hope' and 'picking up the pieces' - although revising them would defeat the purpose of foreshadowing the mention of these by declaring an influx of clichés to begin with. I don't know, but overall, it was an entertaining verse with thought exchanges that I liked. I could tell you massaged the material into the right sculpted position for the reader to chew on.

CopyPat - I understand you endorse the message in the last line of your verse, but I found it sour IMO. I was expecting something comedic - maybe I should hold off preconceived notions of the mood of a verse until the writer closes it off himself? The rhyming was really fucking nice. Reminds me of when you were in your prime on Rapflava. I think you were outmaneuvered here since Certain likes to utilize strategy in his topical match ups. He went with something analytical and cerebral because he knew you would post something a Canadian dude with an opinion about something would post. Even though he knew it would rhyme well, he would try to match you in that department while differentiating himself with a thinking man's concept. I'd like to see you go abstract one week, that's just me.

Vote - Certain

[Soulstice]

Copy - I don't want to advise you to write more 'poetic' or 'wordy' like Certain, who was a perfect foil in this battle. However, there were a lot of phrasings that I see somewhat fit into your style but can still definitely be improved upon. I have no specific suggestions but a brief touch-up of your vocabulary and syntax would do wonders. Definitely don't change too much though. There were moments where the flow and wording was very natural, such as near real ice - steer veer wide. Secondly, you are writing a feel-good piece but the images you evoke in the first stanza are too associated with negatives. Thoughts of death.. freezing ice. This is your character running away from responsibility and having fun! Right? So my feedback here is to try and be a little more aware of the non-deterministic side of language and take a few notes from writers such as certain, dead man, maybe pent up would be good to see how symbols affect an audience. But tailor it to your style, that shit is a much needed breath of fresh air. Cool piece.

Certain - I remember you posted in an interview about you topical battle to offset your opponents strengths. This was an obvious exercise in that strategy. It was cool. There were lines I did like (disposable lies/disposable crowd almost won the battle singlehandedly) and some I didn't (the molly pop culture smorgasbord was a little obtuse and kind of corny anyway). I don't have a lot of feed. I liked the piece it was pretty straightforward, it was evocative and flowed well. You know this, this is the going rate for an internal monologue-esque piece.

So I felt too confused with Copy's piece to vote against Certains this week. Voting certain