Him

[Witty]

He sits on fate's back and he kicks him to get him to go faster, spits in a rhythm, the flow master, soul blaster, young dude but the spirit within him's an old bastard, rippin' and killin' his foes after spittin' his villainous prose, no hero, he's a villain and still on his toes, his mission is simple, it's hoes, kissin' then slittin' their throats, a vicious, meticulous, rogue, if your kids have been missing, they're sitting with him in a boat, he pinched 'em and filled 'em with dope and a fictional feeling of hope, he's itchin' to kill 'em, something in him is chilling, it's cold, he's in the kitchen and fillin' his nose with coke, comatose, woke himself up from near death then overdosed, going coast to coast looking for the grossest hoes in six cities with big titties to motorboat, he gets giddy and stows a rope under his overcoat, the shit's gritty, he listens to voices inside of his mind, explicit and poisonous violent crime, picture him poised as he's trying to find bitches and boys just to tie 'em in binds, it isn't a choice it's a sign of the times, the religious are voiceless, compliant, and blind, he exists to rejoice in defiance, at times, a little bit boisterous, a tyrant designed to belittle the King and give the Lion his pride, put the lying aside, the truth is destruction, the world is flowing loose in a fluxion of useless production, consumed with consumption, so what he has to do is to loosen the suction of a blueprint keeping the youth in a dungeon, a movement is comin', so he'll never call a truce 'cause he won't follow the rules of corruption, he sees the wolves in discussion of how to trap the sheep, a masterpiece of mass deceit, a massive feat of keeping us at the teat and the master's feet, a net they cast to sea just to trap the free, blasphemy, but he will be the last to be captured he's an absentee from the academy of apathy, he'll be damned if he is trapped in the baptistery of fantasy, he will never fall under the canopy of pageantry, he's keeping his faculties workin', the man you'll see lurkin', gallantly searchin' for a way to keep the planet free from atrophy, erasing the work of those raised in the dirt, brainwashed from craze after craze he feels their pain as they 'twerk', confusion in their veins from a world that's intrusive, insane, and berserk, so if you're alone and you feel someone grab your face and it hurts...worry not, it's just him, and he's saving the earth.

[Mr. J]

This was great, Its been awhile since I seen a greatly delivered paragraph formed verse
the rate in which you deliver each rhyme and progress is wonderful
BWA/Dull really brought this form to a whole and as most writers do carry it on
you take it and deliver such a swift flow between line and rhyme its truly amazing
then again I wouldnt expect anything less..you have come a long way since you first started here
progression shines through the more you drop, nice job Wit

[Witty]

Thanks bro, appreciate it.

[Witty]

MOAR.

[Exis]

Nice shit...fuck off the para style though, just sayin'.

[Witty]

Nice shit...fuck off the para style though, just sayin'.

I don't always write in paragraphs but when I do I write dope paragraphs.

[Exis]

I know this...and imo shit wasn't a dope paragraph formatted verse, it's nice though...just didin't blow my load namsayin'?

[Witty]

I know this...and imo shit wasn't a dope paragraph formatted verse, it's nice though...just didin't blow my load namsayin'?

Not really.

This is crazy shun!!!

[H4ZE]

I think this was crazy dope man. Not a fan of the paragraph structure usually, but it worked well for this. The way you rhyme throughout this piece is crazy, I can tell it is very well thought out. It flowed smoothly throughout. You progressed through the story in a steady manner and ended it in a cool way. Very enjoyable read on all aspects. Keep at it man. Peace.

[Geno]

Pretty cool man. Nice syllable anc multi excercise. i like this "him" guy. Hes cool

[Dominate]

Alright Daryll. It's tomorrow. It came, just like I told you it would. Here's your feed:

This was fun! The paragraph style suited the deliberately rambling tone of it well. The rhyming was stellar. A lot of different schemes layered thickly and seamlessly over one another. Like a tapestry of rhyming. The content stayed true to the central theme and didn't go too far off course, which can be a problem with some of these types of verses. It wasn't anything ground breaking content-wise, but that wasn't really the point - it was amazing rhyme-wise. Favourite line:

going coast to coast looking for the grossest hoes in six cities with big titties to motorboat

[Witty]

Thanks doooods.

[Coup]

"Him" is a contradiction

[Witty]

"Him" is a contradiction

?

[Coup]

See post 10

Then

In the beginning HIM is destroying the youth with drugs and deceitful hope which is false realities.

Later toward the end HIM has an earth saving slant, freeing man from atrophy and the proverbial dirt.

He destroys his own labors.

[Zen]

We're all Him, man. There can't be good without the bad, nawmsayin? You could go with that way of looking at Him, or as Him representing society as a whole. Poverty and drug use literally strangling the life out of the poor. Idk though, I'm really drunk and just rambling lol

To you cuz, the rhyme schemes in this were bonkers. There were literally NO pauses, and as a man who also loves to pile multis on top of one another non-stop, I thought this was really great. The first section was my favorite of this though.

"rippin' and killin' his foes after spittin' his villainous prose, no hero, he's a villain and still on his toes, his mission is simple, it's hoes, kissin' then slittin' their throats, a vicious, meticulous, rogue, if your kids have been missing, they're sitting with him in a boat, he pinched 'em and filled 'em with dope and a fictional feeling of hope, he's itchin' to kill 'em, something in him is chilling, it's cold, he's in the kitchen and fillin' his nose with coke, comatose, woke himself up from near death then overdosed,"

Cot dayum.

You're an Irish bastard, Witty....


but an Irish bastard who can write <3

This was very good, no bullshit. I'm gonna send you something maybe sometime next week.

[Witty]

See post 10

Then

In the beginning HIM is destroying the youth with drugs and deceitful hope which is false realities.

Later toward the end HIM has an earth saving slant, freeing man from atrophy and the proverbial dirt.

He destroys his own labors.

You misunderstood the point of the piece, thank you for reading tho.

Thanks Zen <3

[Coup]

Did Zen understand? Witty

[mimic]

What's good Witty. Long time. Anyway - I thought this was dope man. Been a while since I've seen a topical written in paragraph format. This was just smooth all the way through; The flow was precise on this one.

"he listens to voices inside of his mind, explicit and poisonous violent crime, picture him poised as he's trying to find bitches and boys just to tie 'em in binds, it isn't a choice it's a sign of the times, the religious are voiceless, compliant, and blind"

This was fucking fire and the imagery was vivid. You absolutely killed this one man. Dope work!

[Witty]

This deserves MOAR tbh.

[MMLP]

CRAZY!!!!! well done Mr. Wit

check this sraL

[Pharaohs Army]

...the truth is destruction, the world is flowing loose in a fluxion of useless production, consumed with consumption, so what he has to do is to loosen the suction of a blueprint keeping the youth in a dungeon, a movement is comin', so he'll never call a truce 'cause he won't follow the rules of corruption, he sees the wolves in discussion...

[Witty]

Is that good or bad? Lol

[Pharaohs Army]

my fav part

[Frank]

Nice work

[Witty]

Thank you.

[Witty]

Since we're all about the multi's recently.

[Lyriscologist]

wow, interesting piece, very well constructed with content to match.. left me with an uneasy feeling, but, in a good way lol well done sir! solid

[dull boy]

This is dope. Glad it got bumped because I hadn’t read it. Easily my favorite brand of rhyming. It got a little repetitive with the subject matter, but this was fun and I wish more people would write this way.

[Elemental P]

This was actually better then what I was expecting. I like your flow and rhyme scheme use. Nice imagery mixed with some.cool metas. The beginning of it for up to 12 bars were my fav . Really a nice written piece here.

[Eŋg]

you're not bad but i honestly am comprehensively better than you.

you could probably outdrink me, though, so there's that.