Week 5 - Defy Gravity vs Objective - DG WINS

[Mike Wrecka]

Memo week 5.
Greetings competitors, we return to the style of the week 1 challenge. CONSTRAINED WRITING TASK WEEK, you are required to complete one of a series of difficult constrained writing challenges. Your specific task will be phrased in the negative as an instruction requiring some omission of a common writing aspect. You only need to meet your requirement, otherwise you can write about anything you like. Find below your match-ups and specific tasks.

Specific Task - No repetition of any word (longer than 3 letters)

Verses Due - Wednesday 23:59 PST
Voting Period Ends - Sunday 23:59 PST


Good Luck Defy Gravity Objective

[Objective]

Difficult task for sure. Definitely some writer-challenges/practice right there. Looking forward to this shit. Good luck Defy Gravity.

[Defy Gravity]

check

[Defy Gravity]

The Undead Won't Survive Tooth Decay



With years of practice we accepted that zombies live among us
While factions utilized em as weapons wit a strange & serious hunger
I studied the beast closely for an array of military conquers
Watching em eat grosses me, chewing openly wit nefarious chompers
Horrid slices of flesh swallowed after multiple chews
Prowling all night, no rest, sore wounds & collagen oozed
No fatigues, we deploy the sad souls to roam the streets
Marching the slowest speed equipped wit invincible bodies and atrocious teeth
War raged on, munitions rockets rained down a brazen storm
The walking dead played along until tooth decay came raging strong
Our team, though not breathing, had human characteristics
Wit molars dislodged from the dentures, it left us wit an embarrassing predicament
I reported the facts; my documentation was vivid yet rigorous
Our crew of fighting cadavers needs an oral hygiene dentist fix
Daily floss and mouth wash on top of complimentary brushing
The bacterial consumed fucked us, sorry, vulgarity thrusting
The U.N asked volunteers and local missionary groups
To lend an ear about administering an incendiary goop
As the contraption tested on the rotted corpse chewers
Counteracting fungus as displayed to the infomercial viewers
Labeled T.U.W.S.T.D respectfully on cleansing tubes
Helps em shred through the meat traitorously and rinse endless food
The owner of "revive a body for pets" bought in bulk
The ones who was once chalked can now inhale proudly in large gulps
Major corporate sponsors ran plenty commercial promotions
The gel lubricate the fiends bicuspid helping wit the dispersal of erosion
Many felt appalled to contribute to the proceeds of war
We watched in awe as shadow figures racked in millions wit ghostly paws
Foolish helpers lost limbs attempting treatment
As numerous health officials cringed at the grotesque proceedings
Are we to believe exfoliating these things prove vital?
As we rub Colgate between their cheeks in lurid cycles
Wit all the foundations to sponsor.... the mess was chosen?
civilians urged the abomination abolished and invest in soldiers
Should we consider rights for the carnivorous breed?
Ignoring pedestrian life, parachuting em abroad for a tourist feed
The politicians held a press conference promising to have a heart
To address concerns and comments and hear our remarks
It was amazing, Before the first word was uttered
A vagrant launched an attack, plagued wit bite marks and sunburns
I sat front row, shocked, the crowd worked in a frenzy
Reaping the benefits of his program...
& All I could do is admire the ghouls dentistry/

[Objective]

One man gave himself a mission. Kinda abstract,
infact it's keeping englishmen's language intact.
Let's be exact; going through life without saying same words every 24 hours,
matter' fact; OCD patients classified shit; OVERPOWERED.
Guy's reasoning being: ''stupidity's on overtime 'n wont recover over time,
Speaking's an art splitting writing apart, I'm simply protesting against tha' crime.''
Anti-intelligent people along with ESL-teachers already started planning attacks in stages;
Perhaps some forced reading sessions would ruin this task threatening their wages.
Proposing questions lessens vocabular frenzies until dictionaries run outta pages.
Doubters demonstrates; ''Black or white? Nascar, there's different types'a races! Talk about phases!''
Looks confused at his books, concerned, shook, resembling newformed troops
realized even hiphop audio heads lyrics stoops levels below studio loops.
Alphabeth; endless arrangements, possibly where strategic containment's based, either way; felt he had lost face.
Deranged, crazed, caged and phased fella plays Defence of the Ancients chained to games like slaves for days.
Creativity destroys clarity as your mindstate expose mental issues,
frustration hits when productivity's gettin' absorbed into psychiatrists tissues.
Fried by masses carrying three letter caskets dude's perception/reality got tied;
superior designs intertwined convinced that's how real conversations survived.

[Pinot Grij]

Yo Defy, this was a great drop... honestly, most people that come into a league and be like "Yo, I only drop hotness" are usually garbage, but that clearly doesn't apply. The idea was really sophisticated and the added layer of zombies/teeth was probably the most inventive approach taken this week. The wording was a little off for me in places, but that's the nature of this challenge.. it didn't detract from the overall verse that much. I was also annoyed at how you used "wit" for "with"... it didn't match your narrator's voice or the storytelling... it was a cheap trick but one that I'm not overly mad at you for employing. Overall, it was a beast of a drop and I'm looking forward to your next verse.

Objective... there was some regression for you here from last week, I think. It seemed that in your bid to not repeat a word, you tried to use as many words as you possibly could. The meaning got muddled and I kind of went off the rail while reading it.
Proposing questions lessens vocabular frenzies until dictionaries run outta pages.
This line was just too much for me.

Honestly, my head is reeling from trying to sift through what I read. I think you could've still kept a sense of stability and narrative in your verse with this challenge. The verse seemed overmatched to the task.

Vote for Defy Gravity

[Certain]

Defy Gravity: One of the first things I noticed was your use of "wit" as a truncated (and, thus, hypothetically acceptable) form of "with." I understand why you did it and am not going to hold it too much against you, but it became bothersome. (The same could be said for the bold font, for what it's worth.) Still, this was a very original story. I would have liked to read it with more natural word choices because there were a few times where the vocabulary got in the way of telling the story. The flow also was a bit clunky, probably also in part because of the difficulty of the challenge. But the premise was fresh, and to pull off such a long and complicated story without repeating a word longer than four letters was really impressive. This was a very strong first showing in the league on what probably was the most difficult week yet.

Objective: You shoved the challenge down our throats by making it the actual focus of your verse, which could have been interesting had that verse been more coherent. But while you told an exceptional story last week by keeping your language crisp and lucid, you went for a muddled mess of big words this week and struggled for it. The plot of your story never took hold because it didn't make much sense outside of connecting your verse to the challenge. And the writing felt often like a collage of words that don't necessarily fit together. On top of that, "in fact" is two words, so you also sort of bent the rules (albeit probably unintentionally) to fulfill the challenge. I know you're better than this, but this challenge was very difficult. I look forward to you doing more next week, when I'm guessing we'll return to something less restrictive.

Vote: Defy Gravity

[Mike Wrecka]

tough battle to vote on. close call. tough assignment here.

defy gravity - I had to give you credit for dragging out a rather lengthy verse out of such a limited concept. like ya we use zombies as soldiers and theyre teeth are breaking. we need to fix that. lets give them a cleaning. story over. but you took that and created a verse out of it that was pretty entertaining. reminded me of a lot of the comedy zombie movies ive seen. like warm bodies or that one where people have zombies as pets. never really cared for those and in turn didn't really like the theme here that much. seemed a little immature to me. but with that being said, you had a good rhyme scheme and good end rhymes and it did keep me engaged.

objective - this verse was kinda all over the place. you had the better concept imo. but you didn't execute it properly imo. the rhyme scheme was good in the beginning but your lines got longer and longer as it went on. and you were rather vague. tbh I had to sludge through this. this task kicked you ass. it was prolly the hardest one this week. if im gonna keep it one hundred with you this was boring. but it was written well. just really lacked the entertainment value.

overall - defy handled the task better

vote -defy gravity