Week 12: Zen (5-1) vs. Vulgar (6-4) (Zen Wins)

[Certain]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 4


The Basics | Read the full rules here (http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=96884).

Verses are due Thursday, March 5, at 11:59 p.m. PT. One-day extensions available by request.

Votes are due Thursday, March 12, at 11:59 p.m. PT.

Verses may not exceed 48 lines or 650 words unless agreed upon by the opponent.

Voting on three battles is required. If you win and don't vote, you will receive a loss instead. And you must vote on at least one battle to qualify for the playoffs.


Topic


Distant Voices


Good luck, Spoken and Vulgar.

[Witty]

Check.

[Certain]

Zen, you have been substituted in.

Vulgar, Zen would prefer to keep things short.

You have until Tuesday to write. Others are getting until Monday.

[Zen]

PRELUDE

Here’s her voicemail she left:

“CALL ME.”

*click*

She’s too busy complaining about who she saw when she went and bought cigarettes. Like, Audrey, Carmen, Pauline, and the rest. I listen to all her calls & her texts. She doesn’t even pause for a breath. All upset, she called Maury again, and now we’re going on tomorrow as guests.

THE SHOW

Back stage they put me in a room with this dumb broad, Celeste, and the whole time I was thinking, “NAW THIS AIN’T A TEST CUZ I’M TOO SMART FOR THAT SHIT.” So, I put my moves on that bitch. Slapped my balls on her breasts, and made her jerk me off while we ball room danced (because women like to dance).

Then Maury brought me out like, “Hi there, man.”

The crowd was booing. I said, “Y’ALL AIN’T SHIT.”

As far as I could tell, they didn’t like that much. What you don’t realize on TV is how many times they cuss. Maury was sweating in his sweater, like, “OH FUCK.” All them brothers were wanting to fight me, BUT, then one of them fired a gun. So, I dove in bullet time and punched him right in his nuts. Then I took the gun from his hand and beat him to death. Then I stood over that MARK and put my knee on his chest, then looked out in the crowd and said, “YOU WANNA FUCK WITH ME, YOU BITCH?”

AFTERMATH

I’ve got a pretty good lawyer, but I still got charged with the death. The Jury came back unanimous. Now I sit in Parchman Priz, a.k.a. The Farm in Miss.

Just think, this all started with a bitch. Tonight, it’s just me and my palm, I guess.

THE END