I & You / write we do

[Pharaohs Army]

(I)found out I’d gone too far outta the way to be original. Much of what I’d made was way too similar.
I never inspired visuals... Didn’t I know that my readers were imaginative individuals?
A smart-alec, skirting the peripheral.
How’s that working out for me?-- the same shit; the same shtick. Whatever my brain spits
I’ll make it fit.
Most of us love drugs. Naked chicks. The pain of sin. And how we change within.
My internal feedback. I wondered if they’d seen that
I wonder if I leave rap where all the satire would be at.
Please man. I’m so sick, of conforming to your niche.
That’s me talking to myself. I don’t even have to flip a switch.
I like it here. Because I don’t feel like I’m addressing a million kids.
I sat on a pier with peers sipping beers. Dipping my feet in the water like it was lyrics.
I wonder why they told me I was a“one trick pony”.
Maybe because they thought I wasn’t funny. And that I was a phony.
But as they dug deeper they knew I understood why they were never understood by their homies..
They knew I saw how good of a person they were when their friend was crying on their shoulder..
..(I)must forgive myself for allowing Pharaohs to become a mere persona.
But everything is recursive. I tried to retrace the steps but I can’t even read cursive.
Who are you?What is a battle?And what are these mean verses?
Why can’t you just wait?
Until the material naturally formulates.
It’d probably only take about four days. But I suppose you’re set in your ways
so I won’t even gett in the way. But I will read it,
just like I do every day.
That’s me talking to myself and also you.
You know you love it… You know it’s all so true.

[Pharaohs Army]

good@slower pace. not good@fast.

[Certain]

The content here was much more straight-forward than other verses I have read from you, which obviously was the point. Some of the phrasing came across as clumsy and broke the linear thought you were driving toward. The rhyming was scattershot. But the moments of unabridged earnestness were appreciated.

[Geno]

How’s that working out for me?-- the same shit; the same shtick. Whatever my brain spits
I’ll make it fit.

thought this was an interesting view from the writer, on how he is going to reach the readers and wht they expect

..(I)must forgive myself for allowing Pharaohs to become a mere persona.

nice. i like how you emotionally identified your self here. almost became a human being instead of just another 'alias'
good concept

pretty cool. this was a dive into becoming an air breathing, blood bleeding person. i liked this piece for that reason. you basically went from immortal to mortal here

[Mr. J]

This was an interesting piece from you...the structure was odd
but as I read it and took it in line for line a lot of it came together
this felt like a stream of consciousness being let loose in a quick opener
I love how you balanced yourself out into two separate personalities
its a breath of fresh air as a reader to read something loosely built
then see it take form...I feel with a little more work you'll write some very provoking material
but right now your just filling in the blanks with ideas and openess
really great transitioning..keep writing bruh..