bedside manner

[Split Eight]

relationship-centric and blue,
men were never meant for the moon.
I could weather a tempest but never the dew-
let us preface tomorrow's tonight
with an arugment. fight. it's better with two,
play bard to the temptress in step to a harrowing tune
her curves carve like a spine. marvel and swoon.
your hands felt like mallets. she's drenched in undress.
a cliffside demeanor's just candlestick balance
pressed through her dress. every fire consumes.
I hang from old flames like the notes of a pandering ballad
weighted with sand for a ballast
and you and I knew would never resume.

[dead man]

lovely

[PancakeBrah]

I could weather a tempest but never the dew-
let us preface tomorrow's tonight
with an arugment. fight. it's better with two,
play bard to the temptress in step to a harrowing tune

I hang from old flames like the notes of a pandering ballad
weighted with sand for a ballast

This was really good. I don't know what you want me say other than that, fucko.

argument*

[Split Eight]

he he ty men

[Witty]

This was great. Rhyme schemes were impressive. You are getting much better at preventing your pieces from becoming vague or introspective to the point the reader is out of the loop, which is the only issue i had with your pieces, you avoided that here while maintaining the poetic and elegant style you execute so well. Really enjoyed this one.

[Wise Wiggles]

Best thing I've ever read in my entire life. About to stab my eyes out after I finish typing this because it was beautifully perfect. Jesus. All down hill from here. Adios eyeballs.

[Geno]

pretty good, dog
lets see more

[Mr. J]

This was pretty smooth my friend, I liked the imagery a lot..
the flow of the piece is really smooth as you unravel your story
perfect length for such a piece as well as great execution.
I really enjoyed the beginning..this was great altogether though man..
keep writing breh..