6. Fig vs. dead man - (dead man wins NS)

[Vulgar]

You've been enlisted for an abstract cause.

NO LINE LIMIT
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks)

Verses Due Sunday Morning.
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(Extensions only granted if opponent accepts, anything else is unaccepted.)

Voting Ends Monday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied
Remember The Earlier The Verses In The Sooner The Votes
Have Fun
Peace


Topic:

http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2011/347/b/a/skethbuk_by_jarafrica-d4j1stg.jpg

Fig dead man

[Fig]

I'm here

[dead man]

yessir

[dead man]

i dont think ill be able to post a full submission tonight.

lost a good amount in the crash yesterday and ive only managed to rewrite like 12 or so lines. really havent been feeling it. i wont be home tonight but if Vulgar doesnt want extensions i will post what i have from my phone, no worries

sorry figs

[Vulgar]

Ext's are allowed if Fig allows it.

[dead man]

bubblegum memory i chewed up to spit
let me sink. i refuse to resist. as confusion persists
consider truth as a computer glitch. re-looping a stitch
like wool sweaters, rainy weather and a soupy consistency
who do you consider me? as human or print?
we're all just building monuments to prove we existed
bubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
sepia sulfur stone. there's nothing but blood and bone
joint and jugular, juggling our jobs and the juxtaposed
the runaway who's running home. it's strange to describe
in phrases that rhyme. making manifest and cadence align
peel away your fleshy flaps and paint it inside
dormant is the darkness pervading. let it shine
blue gene denim waves. neon navy the tides
cut up a cadaver just to make me a bride
melt into a drowning pool to make me responsive
pallet paintbrush coordinate a technicolor conscious.........


DEADMAN

[UnbornBuddha]

Deadman, I will comment again since my feed on your open mic, Giant, was deleted and returned back into the cyber nebula when the site rebooted itself. The beginning wasn't your strongest, you usually have a much more captivating entry into the world of whatever verse you are presenting. I also liked how you used the colors of the pieces, and brought them to life, and even made the reader relate to the image more easily. A fun picture, I might add. It definitely sparks the creation of the creative juices. I thought these lines were stupendous.

"ubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
sepia sulfur stone. there's nothing but blood and bone
joint and jugular, juggling our jobs and the juxtaposed
the runaway who's running home"

That part is as close to perfect as perfect can get, imo. The rest was cool, good job.

[Certain]

I'm voting for Fig, who did exactly what we all knew he could.

[Clutbuck]

who do you consider me? as human or print?
we're all just building monuments to prove we existed
bubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice
sepia sulfur stone. there's nothing but blood and bone
joint and jugular, juggling our jobs and the juxtaposed
the runaway who's running home. it's strange to describe
in phrases that rhyme. making manifest and cadence align

damn that whole section was flames

loved the neon blue line too but that section was the clear standout for me

awesome picture too this one

loved it

[Geno]

thought this was dope af
ive done this alot where as i would kind of describe in an abstract way what i see in the picture instead of coming up with an idea and telling a story. not sure if anyone remembers the old battles from aowl 1

anyway.. this was great, packed with heavy rhymes and schemes wich i love to read from you -you hold together a tightly knit piece all the time and spare no wonderful thoughts because of it. i love a writer that can do this and have no slips in smoothness when it comes to the read. the concepts were dope. good showing

[Vulgar]

Vibrant, sauced, if a bit smug because Fig hoe-showed.

I feel like I just had a carton of Tang, along with a few capsules of lemon-flavored Vitamin C tablets, served with steaming hot water.

who do you consider me? as human or print?
we're all just building monuments to prove we existed
bubble foam, i'm the one alone. electromagnet thunderdome
watercolor collarbone. saturated summer solstice


Doooope. You know how to paint.

Thanks for showing!

[fraze]

Really powerful rhymes you clearly have a command of the mechanics, but I don't feel like the verse was very focused. That said, it was something of a random picture, so I get it, but it would have been nice to see you bind some structure of your making to the chaos in the scene. Very enjoyable read nonetheless, looking forward to viewing more.