12. Veritas the Invincible vs. uh-oh (Veritas wins)

[Vulgar]

You've been enlisted for an abstract cause.

NO LINE LIMIT
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks)

Verses Due Sunday Morning.
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(Extensions only granted if opponent accepts, anything else is unaccepted.)

Voting Ends Monday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied
Remember The Earlier The Verses In The Sooner The Votes
Have Fun
Peace


Topic:

http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/354/f/b/spherically_repulsive_projection_of_the_madonna___ _by_mandelwerk-d5ol9pw.jpg

Veritas the invincible uh-oh

[uh-oh]

im in.

[veritas]

applies war paint....

[veritas]

(Important note: My dog wrote this. Looking back on the finished work, we are both very proud of it.)


"THE TELEPATHIC CORGI CONSORTIUM AND THEIR SYNHRONICITY -PORTAL MACHINE."

(Or: "woof-woof-woof, rrrrrrrrwoof. Yip-Yip! RrrrrrWoof!!")



Their tech harnessed the infinite potential of beings that were so far supreme,
as was seen with wheels within wheels calculating the physics of the dream.
Orbs of vermillion, smooth as a newborn reptillian ,encased the algortihm
shades of orwellian, when they quelled the rebellion, of brutes with lesser vision
the canine entities orchestrated the forces that mated fate to the future and ancient
lubricated with blood of turtles from islands Galapagos, then transported by spaceship

wait wait...!!!

DO NOT STOP READING. Stay with it. Gooooooooood. This is important.
I know your attention span is vacant. Replace it. Rrrrwoof grrrrrrrwoof
Here is the rest my Corg sent:


Our council controls universal law and opens synchronistic signs for your journey of humanity.
Unforunalty the schizophrenic drowns in what the mystic swims in, and this can test your sanity.
The orbs vibrate to resonate whether you will pass the test or settle to rest on vanity,
we are better than your best, give us a dog treat for shaking our paws to prove we taught mastery.
When the portals do exist, they resist anything but the utmost attenuation to accuracy,
the lower races can count the paces, but their wills are still containted to flesh and causations retroactively.
We harness our machine and serenade molecullar patterns and cosmic harmony
we are the portal at the edge of the universe, we are the final piece of plaque in that artery
you would detect the art, you would not stop then start, you would embark if you were as smart as me
and do not engage me on the physical, because you will hold pockets, as my pink thing is a part of me
We resonate vibrations from our mind through your galaxy, it's no fallacy,
investigate our machine
you cannot replicate our machinations, the same word for patience is patients, and we are seldom seen.
The gears turn as each dimension folds as origami, perfectly aligned and molded
the deepest of your human thoughts is like an accident on the carpet. U feel scolded.
We are embolded to utilize our frequency harmonics, pi, phi, and all the constants of nature,
our portals create toxins, or any additional layer of how you perpetuate the many options of faker.
We have large ears that are precise as a lazer. The power of our existence makes every other baser.
We can score so fast on the Reg, this G be more than a run of the mill,or the instance of the most famous pacer. ( slow it down.....)

Telephathic Corgi Syndicate swagging it.
Got that parvo crawl, your carpet? we tea-bagging it

our machine creates matter. It assembles the order of your life choices from coalesced ether.
We inhabit the calculations of eternal decision matricies, while u fill your chest with reefer.
We make dimension fold up like they a Lisa Frank (*tm) unicorn Trapper Keeper.
Take ouf your floaties and swim and swim and swim, and you will never be the deeper,
our machine, it opens the portals in your brain's dendritic pathways, seratonin nano-juice
you more concerned with politics, we bravehearting, starting the owning of Roebehr De' Bruce
in your dreams you only fly because we let you. You wear the collar, and we sing to and pet you.
Our synaptic residue formed the Palonioum halos in the granite crust you tryna step through
yeah we chilling in the cut, we can enter the void, and make you paranoid wheneva rents due.
Maybe you say you got a couple of seconds sense too? But we corgi's copped the Heavenly scents.....true.
So our machine stands serene in the nexus of time and space nestled atop some Palladium plates,
and you gonna learn our gates of grace, while we transmit as this human stares direclty at my face
the independent variable was proved within ranges that were statistically significant
What is that? The level of you, Devil, who can still only operate at a state specifically who gives a shit?
Put a collar on me and see if I don't turn it into an asteroid belt, then growl at the air from this here window
The Telepathic Corgi Order. Straight repping it till ya mama and all ya kin know, bro peep me out, I been low.

Look at that man who sees our machine, yet doesn't at all. Look at that man who looks down to us, thinking he stands tall.

Look at that man who don't even realilze that this part of his mind is only actively when it encounters our neural-utlization-subnmuenmonics

we like cheese in this world, but I aint talking about cash, in our real existence, we make cheese the reason you all dash
we only espouse the truest and the fewest of you savages, who actually manages to understand the test and actually pass
see me barking at the sky? Now ask yourself why? We turning the machine to open a portal for your learning to enter.
"This is not a coincidence" is what you be saying when your existence intermeshes with it's burning epicenter.


YOU MUST KEEP READING! GO BACK AND PEEP OUT THE REGGIE MILLER LINE! WROOOF@! WROOF! YIPRRRRRR YIP YIP!

You say things happen for a reason? That is our causility orb, which harnesses the infinity of choice
I am rather enjoying this intrinsically, this utilizing my new found affinity for the proof of our ways through written voice.
I see you got some new food yes? Well is it moist? If not, pour water, and bring on that gravy
Here is the mind fuck, that if you don't get it you are stupid, and if you do then you are crazy!
The dream state activation requires fluid, so you need to hydrate, foolish human you missed the metaphor
and how come two Christmases ago, you acted like a hoe and whatchu made me wear that silly sweater for?!
If i didn't have all this fur, I would rock a neck tat that read "Excellsior!"
Telephathically showing you why I put the "G" in Cor.
Ok I am done, I won, and whatever the other guy wrote, I didnt read because I knew that it was sure to bore.

End transmission. Cloak the machine inside of a void-pocket.

Wrrrooof woof! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrwooof!!!!

[uh-oh]

PARTICLE PHYSICS. THE SCIENCE BEHIND AN ARTISTS EXHIBIT
STARTS TO INHIBIT HIS ATTENTION, AND PART IT IN DIGITS
MATHEMATICS BARS INTUITION. YOU HAVE TO PARDON HIS VISIONS
DRUNK AND HIGH REMEMBERING NEWTON WAS PARTLY RELIGIOUS
IT COMES APART AT THE SEAMS. ANYTIME THE DARKNESS WOULD SEEM
INFINITE. HE'D HIT A BITCH AND PARK IN HER SCREAMS
ANYONE COULD TELL HE'S HARDLY A BEING
JUST EXISTING IN THE ALL WITH A HARD ON AND DREAMS

CUZ ART IS STUPID. WHAT ONE SEES IS HARDLY TRUE, ITS
MOSTLY LEFT TO THE INTERPRETATION OF TARDY STUDENTS
THE INTELLIGENT DEPART THE RUINS
THINK ON THE HARDY DRUIDS,
WHO EMBRACED IGNORANCE
IN THE FACE OF GNARLY RUIN.

BUT WHAT DO THEY KNOW. A BUNCH OF SAVAGES IN BLUE PAINT
WHEN THE ROMANS CAME THEY DREW BLADES
AND DIED WHILE HAVING TRUE FAITH
I GUESS THAT WAS THOSE DUDES FATE

A BUNCH OF IDIOTS

YOU CAN PRAY TO TREES, HIPPY. BUT IT STILL SEEMS IGNORANT

SO WHILE SOME SEE SOME DEEP SHIT. OTHERS SEE NOTHING
AND THIS TOPIC REALLY BLOWS DICK. BUT I KEYED SOMETHING

YOUR WELCOME

[UnbornBuddha]

Ok, here we go.

Veritas, there was shades of interesting thoughts hidden in the midst of over saturation. It was dense, not because the thoughts themselves were overly complex, but the presentation itself was exuberantly too copious. So it does not come off elegant, but rather long-winded and prolix for the same of just being so. There shall be more purpose for each word, so to establish rhythm and direction. I myself don't really mind reading verbose writings, but like I said you forsook many elements that accompany rap, so as to deliver each bar. Which is fine, if you make sure each line is powerful beyond means. That said, I enjoy your discursive nature, and the piece itself was humorous. I enjoyed the canine's satirical condescension upon us humans. I mean it was a bit out there, especially with the animal's interdimensional talk. It reminded me of Nibbler from the sitcom, Futurama. In retrospect, I think you will benefit to being more selective and poignant in your word choice. Your poetry's light needs more tenderness and care for it to blossom. You are prolific, but there needs to be more contact with the other basic factors, such as internal rhyming, etc.

Uh-Oh: There's a bit less to be said here obviously. You have more awareness of how to rhyme more precisely than Veritas. This point is made abundantly clear by your more rap influenced segments. That said, I don't see why you have to capitalize every word, makes it come off as unrefined. Lol at the last two lines, they made me laugh. It was short, and it was enjoyable for a key. But in the end, I feel there was a vast gap in effort between Veritas and you. He also had more of an intact general topic.

Thus, I give my vote to Veritas.

Thank you both.

[Geno]

Omg i just lost a rack of fucking shit i had eritten as a response. Wtf

In short.
VEritas. Thought ur shit was good. really wish ur lines were condensed. The mechanics were far and few between. But ubtook an approach. Clung to it and it was good imo. The thibg about tea bagging carpets was hilarious.
Some of the stufv you wrote seemed a bit out of place for the verse in a whole.

Uhoh
you took a more reserved and laid back approach.
Had a really keystyked feelbto it. A lot like your discussion forum verses. Humorous and packed with rhymes.
i think had youbtaken this a little more seriously and thoughg it out a bit more.. just a bit even.. you would have faired better this week. Cause i dont believe what veritas did was as great as it could have been. But i do think his quantity mixed with what seems to have been more well thought out and prepared gave him thr edge..

IM REALLY SORRY IF THIS IS SHORT. i had a more thorough breakdown written and was almost done when i lost it. Fuckigg pissed me off.

V/veritas

[Witty]

Just upping above the extensions and no shows, will get to this asap.

[Woke]

hmmm...Veritas had the better verse and wins by default, but the verse drooled on somewhere in the middle (see what I did there?) It lost the luster quick and it became, I assume on purpose, more of a preachy verse looking down on me. This is fine at times, but given the length of the verse it just bore me about half way in. Cool concept, don't think you matched the topic especially well as I feel like you started talking about a machine as an afterthought as opposed to being a focal point. Uhoh, this was a decent key with ok flow. we can all tell you were less then inspired but at least you pumped a verse out, you should advance based on this fact alone

Veritas - liked the av though, very fitting

[Mr. J]

This was an interesting battle, I read both verses and felt robbed :/
well, V... you didn't rob me, in fact I'm in the mood to read something like that
and that was quite the trip, you know when my dog talks it's usually in her sleep
and when she does that I usually place my phone near her head to translate her dog breath into dog text
she has a speech impediment so her words come out all wet...anyway I liked the second portion of your verse
in fact you went HAM with the unlimited line ordeal and made quite an impression
although I know you can write some decent stuff...

Uh Oh...it seemed like you were more focused on your thread of the week to write something
I guess your time went to deep into the thread to fully conceptualize a verse in a week
which is fine...
but foolish, I was amused by your verse to say the most part...
and being amused is the name of the game...well done good chap


V/v....

obviously V had a verse with more potential

[Clutbuck]

Damn, crazy fucking topic to write to, glad this was given you guys and not me!

Okay so I read through most of Veritas verse last night. The lines are longggg though bruh, I could have used them being probably half he length they were but you went off in this piece - I think stuff like this abstract tournament may work in your favour as you can attach a whole psychological level to pieces maybe that will go overlooked by a lot of the more direct writers here.

I thought this line was dope:

the schizophrenic drowns in what the mystic swims in

There was some real potential in here actually, amongst the madness, and I got the impression the dog was more than just a comedic woofing interlude. I think this line alludes to more than that:

we are better than your best, give us a dog treat for shaking our paws to prove we taught mastery.

Maybe? Maybe I'm reading too much into the subtleties.

The end section got a bit more egotistical and I actually liked the humourous end with the G in Cor and neck tat lines but again, that may just be me haha!


Uh-oh of the SHABAT regiment clearly wasn't feeling this topic. For what it's worth, I actually liked the idea of art and questioning what it is. I just didn't like where the verse ended up going. It was clearly uninspired, and I can't blame him in truth, this topic did nothing for me creatively. I'm far too direct with my ish. Uh-oh can and has beat a lot of dope heads, his showings at PR have proved he's no slouch when he's motivated... Guess he just wasn't as into this as V and that came across.

Got to give this to the V man.

[Clutbuck]

Damn, crazy fucking topic to write to, glad this was given you guys and not me!

Okay so I read through most of Veritas verse last night. The lines are longggg though bruh, I could have used them being probably half he length they were but you went off in this piece - I think stuff like this abstract tournament may work in your favour as you can attach a whole psychological level to pieces maybe that will go overlooked by a lot of the more direct writers here.

I thought this line was dope:

the schizophrenic drowns in what the mystic swims in

There was some real potential in here actually, amongst the madness, and I got the impression the dog was more than just a comedic woofing interlude. I think this line alludes to more than that:

we are better than your best, give us a dog treat for shaking our paws to prove we taught mastery.

Maybe? Maybe I'm reading too much into the subtleties.

The end section got a bit more egotistical and I actually liked the humourous end with the G in Cor and neck tat lines but again, that may just be me haha!


Uh-oh of the SHABAT regiment clearly wasn't feeling this topic. For what it's worth, I actually liked the idea of art and questioning what it is. I just didn't like where the verse ended up going. It was clearly uninspired, and I can't blame him in truth, this topic did nothing for me creatively. I'm far too direct with my ish. Uh-oh can and has beat a lot of dope heads, his showings at PR have proved he's no slouch when he's motivated... Guess he just wasn't as into this as V and that came across.

Got to give this to the V man.

[mayniuhh]

The business has all of that, but the only thing in it is his pet corgi. he got it for his corgi. his corgi made him get it. his corgi got it. his corgi has it. His Corgi is not his. He belongs to His Corgi. You three.

I told them the corgi was a fucking planet burglar but no sun ever fucking listens to me. I don't even fucking care anymore. Life happens.

Uh Oh, if he more strongly stated "nothing is there" would've won, though. He kept so weakly stating it, that none of the other contrasts worked.