15. Copypat vs. MMLP - (Copypat wins)

[Vulgar]

You've been enlisted for an abstract cause.

NO LINE LIMIT
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks)

Verses Due Sunday Morning.
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(Extensions only granted if opponent accepts, anything else is unaccepted.)

Voting Ends Monday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied
Remember The Earlier The Verses In The Sooner The Votes
Have Fun
Peace

CopyPat neutral

Topic:

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/228/6/b/th_panel_colour_by_mansyc-d5bdqia.jpg

[CopyPat]

Dancake dressed in red approaches his neighbors
She Anne Frank, deaf as hell, gross to a stranger

He’s wearing a hoodie cause that’s his stylish
He’s bearing some goodies to crack the ice with

The dogs are lurking, looking dangerous
But he’s got his purpose, couldn’t shake him

He rings the doorbell, time just stops
She doesn’t answer so he tries a knock

He stands a minute, scratching his head
Till he finally remembers this Anne, she’s deaf

He hates the fact he’s not mentally sharper
But his brain’s been scattered from relentless barking

So it’s back to the drawing board, NC’s to the rescue
Post a new thread, and then see who can help you

First response was logical, Destro gets legit
All the rest are comical, Netcee’s represent

Bags posts a classic, and the fans have a chuckle
But nothing really happens, and Dan’s still in trouble

So what ever happened to Dan, the deaf, and the dogs?
We’re all left hanging cause that’s when the thread just stopped…

[MMLP]

All but nothing’s left of it, the globe is absorbing
The dust is settling, the oceans haven fallen
The overcast borders, the apocalyptic land
Slowly and forward from different paths
Two groggy lizards scamper, one Adam, one eve
Started to begin their chapter of Scavenging trees
It didn’t matter about the branches and leaves
It only mattered they eat, with an whole age in their hands.
Then they happened to see a snake in the grass
Who angled for peace, but came with a plan
Of savings his apples and his aligned grand design
Taken to battle for mankind's planned demise
With Satan in shackles and masked in a disguise
His plans flied into life, the angle had worked
The timing was right, he happily surged
Killing all sightings of life and destroying what's last of the earth

[veritas]

Both of these verses were rushed and haphazard. I feel like copy pat ended his out of laziness in that he painted himself into a corner. just being real. mmlp was ok. nothing great, but at least more in line with what i was expecting. vote goes to MMLP,

[Pent uP]

Copy -- lol@the verse, but I can't for the life of me figure out how it connects to the pic. That aside -- it felt verse sophmoric coming from you. Rhymes weren't crisp and the humor was more vulgar than comical. Also this didnt really have a sense of effort from you. Just my observation.


MMLP -- Felt like a rushed verse but I know you were a last minute drop in. Kept everything on topic, progressed naturally and rhymed strong. I can't say I've read your stuff really so I can't observe if you are abiding by the laws of this tournament and "being abstract" in respect to your normal style, but what I saw was ambitious.

Vote MMLP

[Certain]

CopyPat: This was a bizarrely direct take on the topic, which made it all the more beautiful. The rhymes were clunky and the lack of transitionary rhyming made the flow less smooth than usual. But your storytelling was fun, and again, it was bizarrely, perfectly on topic.

MMLP: I liked the evolutionary take on Adam and Eve to a degree. But I felt like your rhyming was more forced and more clunky than CopyPat's, and you didn't flesh out the connection to the topic as well. (Can it be a snake if it has four legs?) I get where you're going here, but I didn't enjoy it very much, certainly not as much as CopyPat's.

Vote: CopyPat

[UnbornBuddha]

Copypat: Humorous, at first I didn't understand since I don't really go into the discussion forum unless sometimes catches my eye. So, I figured it was something, in which Dancake was the fulcrum of the joke. To get this verse, one had to read the thread, as for its relation to the picture, I do see in a bizarre way the connection. Although, it wasn't particularly you at your best, it was still a humorous approach. Funny, but the rhyming was definitely tone down, at least compared to what I'm used to seeing from you.

MMLP: I thought the idea was much better than Pat's, but more serious obviously. However, I do feel you weren't in the momentum as you executed it. It could have been much more stronger given the substantiality of your idea, which would have required more time in. It could have been an epic, a Brobdingnagian display. But, it wasn't. However, you did come in later, so it's understandable.

Vote: Copypat

[Vulgar]

Okay, Copy's verse had some merit of humor to it. I'm not sure what spurred this into being, but I guess this is what happens when the focal point of NC's is the discussion forum, lol. The rhyming was purposefully slanted, and the verse, for what it was had smooth wording.

MMLP, you had a good grasp on your overall tone and the direction of your story was concrete. As far as originality goes, (even though Copy's was cop-out in terms of effort) your concept maybe could've been expanded on more; like if more parallels were drawn between lizards and the Adam & Eve story.

My vote goes to Copypat in a close contest, simply because his humor proved stronger in the end.

Thank you guys for showing.