This is what I'd use to pick up smokin' hot babes on the internet

[Chill Phil]

I like to cuddle, but not the whole night...it makes my arms go numb. I can't fight for your honor with numb arms, think about it. I want to have a family someday, but I've been held back for two reasons. 1. I don't think all babies are cute and 2. What if my baby comes out looking like chewed gum? I joke around a lot, and if you can't pick up on my subtleties, you'll have a hard time discerning between me being serious or not. I'm a homebody as of right now, since there's nobody to go exploring with. So, I'll drink wine and throw the ball with my dog. He's possessive, so he barks at people that approach me too quickly. He also doesn't like it when I do things that HE thinks is weird, i.e. jumping jacks, dancing, or pull ups; he'll bark at me and nip at my belly button and other weird places until I stop. So, I guess he's controlling too. There have been a few times where he's actually slapped my phone out of my hand like a jealous husband. I'd much rather have a relationship with a human who has the capability of cognitive thought. Please?

[El Muffin]

fuck is this uncle Tom straight from a high school Kurt Cobain MySpace fkn biography

The fuck is this phil

Lol

[Chill Phil]

it's totally "girl lulz" muff

[El Muffin]

it's totally "girl lulz" muff

Oh , ok!

*slaps the shit out of u*

[Ghost1]

Muff extra lonely

[Chill Phil]

Puffy muffy eat too much

[El Muffin]

Puffy muffy eat too much

If u don't shut yo Flo Rida w/ bi polar syndrome lookin ass up nigga

[dead man]

so this is your plentyoffish "about me" section?

[Chill Phil]

If u don't shut yo Flo Rida w/ bi polar syndrome lookin ass up nigga

Lmfaoooooo

I won't exploit the OBVIOUS weak point in your armor. Lmaooo lololol

[~RustyGunZ~]

Lmfaoooooo

I won't exploit the OBVIOUS weak point in your armor. Lmaooo lololol

his pig face?

[El Muffin]

Pshh

Knuck stop

Lmao

Plz

u mocap for Shrek nigga

[~RustyGunZ~]

Pshh

Knuck stop

Lmao

Plz

u mocap for Shrek nigga

no

tip of your nose touches your unibrow

at least some things in your life are looking up you jobless fagot

[El Muffin]

I have a little nose

[~RustyGunZ~]

You do not

And even if it was it's still the nose of a hog

[El Muffin]

It's real lil

[~RustyGunZ~]

You really are delusional

[El Muffin]

my nose is small tho

Lol

[~RustyGunZ~]

It's a fact with visual aid that it isn't

You're actually losing it

[El Muffin]

ok buddy

[~RustyGunZ~]

All trolling aside you need to see a shrink

Not pming Veritas

An actual professional that didn't get their phd online

[El Muffin]

oh,

Oh really?

Okay then.

[Objective]

Phil: I used to have something like this: ''I'm 1,93m and I like PEZ dispensers, movies and music'' along with some pics of me. It worked a lot better than having lots of text few people read anyways.

[Chill Phil]

Phil: I used to have something like this: ''I'm 1,93m and I like PEZ dispensers, movies and music'' along with some pics of me. It worked a lot better than having lots of text few people read anyways.

Oh yeah, I know. I had fun facts about myself. About 4 of them. And I pulled 4 chicks in the matter of 3 months

[Geno]

Lulz.
-pof king yall
Smh..

Ig gottiresome slaying these pussies so effortlessly though. No bs. The sexiest ones.. oddly enough.. would drive from VA. What a sesspool

[Chill Phil]

They should call it aids quest

[El Muffin]

Lulz.
-pof king yall
Smh..

Ig gottiresome slaying these pussies so effortlessly though. No bs. The sexiest ones.. oddly enough.. would drive from VA. What a sesspool


*clutches waistband *

Take that shit back

VA is the land of the gods

yea u right tho. Alotta bad bitches for no good reason

It's the military 5hing. I had already theorized many years ago

[Dope girl]

Don't day that, if your babymama healthy or not on medication baby come out fine. Healthy count
People with disabled kids wish baby healthy be hopeful

[El Muffin]

Damn that was some ironic but insightful shit

The lime is god

[Objective]

Oh yeah, I know. I had fun facts about myself. About 4 of them. And I pulled 4 chicks in the matter of 3 months

That's cool, have you tried Tinder though? That shit's even easier.

[Chill Phil]

Nah, I don't have a Facebook. Can't use it.