PDA

View Full Version : R. 2: CopyPat vs. UnbornBuddha - (UnbornBuddha wins)


Vulgar
06-05-2015, 02:29 PM
Welcome to Round 2 of the tournament.

There is no line limit.
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks)

Verses Due Tuesday Night. (June 9th)
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(24 hour extensions are allowed. Only one though.)

Voting Ends Thursday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied

Have Fun
Peace

CopyPat UnbornBuddha

TOPIC:


http://pre04.deviantart.net/5ffd/th/pre/i/2010/243/6/e/___lost_in_time___15_by_samlim-d2xqjb0.jpg

UnbornBuddha
06-05-2015, 04:35 PM
Lol at the picture..

Looking forward to it Copypat.

CopyPat
06-06-2015, 05:16 AM
for fuck sakes

CopyPat
06-10-2015, 11:51 AM
interesting. hey bhudda got any ol ideas laying around for this pic that i can borrow?

UnbornBuddha
06-10-2015, 01:35 PM
Sure, you can make a satire about me; I'm not kidding, I'm sure you will do it well.
If you want to go on a more serious route, you can make a story about what the monk is wishing for, perhaps to bring back some deceased loved one, or perhaps his praying not to go to Naraka (hell). Or maybe you can anthropomorphize the statue some way, and the human becomes a metaphor. Or maybe the monk is not a monk, but is an invading Mongolian praying to humiliate, wearing the garments for laughs. Invaders that strips the culture as well as the religion that is inherently intertwined.Historically this isn't accurate, but its make believe.
Perhaps the monk has a mental condition, maybe retardation, and in his disability he has a discourse/debate with the heavenly emissary on the nature of life, and proves through his simplicity that he has more wisdom and realization. Or maybe you can do some kung fu action verse, where the Buddha teaches the monk how to a flying acrobatic kick, and perhaps fights himself against a legion of ghouls, forsaking his peaceful nature.These are just quick mental notes, to get the juices flowing. Good luck.

By the way,
I myself have already went a particular route, which I won't say of course.

CopyPat
06-11-2015, 09:51 PM
There’s an Asian kid praying to a broken shitty statue
He’s broke and really can’t do anything he wants to
His home is just a grass roof petty little shack
Dude’s only little happiness is when he gets to bath
Too lonely in this town, lookin dead on the map
The only thing around is just a head of some cattle
His bed is a magnet for a bevy of maggots
And all he really needs is a medicine cabinet
His belly just rattles, and he’s not very big
Eats on lettuce and cabbage cause that’s all they can get
And he’s always been sick, with a cough that never ceases
His body is thin, because he’s often with diseases
The problem with the Priest is there isn’t one at all
So he crawls to his knees to where there’s spindles on the wall
It is a common bond in the area he lives
That a lot the of the natives have malaria as kids
And as scary as it is, well his brother had it worse
He barely even lived, heart stuttered at his birth
Mother’s had her hurt too, but mostly in the brain
Been through hell and back, still coping with the pain
If only it would pay more for a farmer in season
But no, it’s just a way for his father to feed them
And barely at that. They’re sharing a snack
Never had a meal, this is barely an app
Apparently that.. isn’t enough reason to break
Cause there he is now, just keeping the faith.

UnbornBuddha
06-12-2015, 12:02 AM
The Buddha's Ego

Choosing to live in ignorance creates latent sickness
Living blissfully ignorant might inflame your symptoms
The little monk, Tozan, clasps his hands in a prayer position
Making the Bhumisparsha mudra after he mutilated his victims
The temple’s lamas and cenobites were assimilated like liquid,
The psychobiological system molds itself on the basis of wisdom.
Drunk off his murder stupor, Tozan goes to challenge this world’s future
Vengefully going before the effigy of the immortal Buddha
There Tozan bows, grins, and begins to disrobe
Revealing to the divine his skin and his bones
Etched into them, is the meaning of the soul.
The statue remains unmoved, like dreaming in the know.
Tozan peels off his disguise, exposing his true being that he cloaked
“I KNOW, your secrets, Gautama! I’ve read each of your scrolls.”
I, your subconscious ego, have transcended concepts of evil
I have evolved since our last encounter into a flawless creature
Having pierced into your truth, our knowledge is equal;
The architect has reprogrammed himself to process Neo.

“Shakyamuni, my continual existence after your enlightenment,
Means there’s still conflict in you. Nirvana is a hazardous environment.
By the way,
This childlike disguise personifies Lao Zi, father of the desireless.
My gnosis is a deep ocean, Tozan roared, so return to ME my throne!”
Pulsing with emotion, it was clear he learned to see from ghosts
The oracle of the misanthropes believed he deserved to be whole.
“I’ve grown, wise one, I even wrote mortals an ode,
A poem that goes a little like this:
“Heaven, Earth, the One. Humans are in the middle of it
They throw away their lives for the littlest of things
If it wasn’t for their silliness, they’ll live infinitely”
So now with that said, I demand back my power Buddha
Will you let the lotus decay atop your Flower sutra?

The statue opened its eyes and finally spoke: I’ve escaped my prison,
Not the universe or you Mara can change this condition.
If you want salvation’s transmission,
You must transcend your pretentious sagely cognition.
Tozan recoiled: I won’t subjugate my volition to your tradition
I plan on making my dreams fruition into completion.
Mara’s entire organism shook as he mouthed a blasphemous orison,
An incantation with carnivorous instinct and cancerous origin.
As the ruthless Mara gathered energy, chemically attempting to alter destiny
The world began to part elementally, disrupting our hearts essential Qi,
Vaporous breath of the cosmos that started our memories departs our sensory.
Gigantic exploding stars carve their legacy, leaving massive black hole trajectories
Karma a treasury, whose riches determine the afterlife’s ecstasy, & our particles density
Every being’s atoms rattled as they dissolved back to entropy
Some whimpered and cried, in what can’t be described in the saddest melody
All this, just so Tozan/Mara could return to his past of pleasantries.
The Buddha stood there smiling because Nirvana has no enemies,
In fact, in it there is no world, no Mara, nor any Buddha like entity
Our coming and going, the void makes every future look heavenly.

Geno
06-12-2015, 06:43 PM
Well.. im a big copypat fan
But this didng feel inspired at all copy? As if you expected a noshow from unborn. Thats the feelibg i get. Still.. it had some copypat trademarks in and about that i dig technically. The aproach was rather obvious. I mean.. im not biv on aproach IF.. the verse is flames through and through.. but this lefg something to be desired

Budda..
You crushed this man. Really liked the course u went. Had a better.. more solid flow this week imo which boosted this for me a lot. Not a whole bunch to compare with this week. Excellent showibg

V/unborn

Clutbuck
06-13-2015, 10:23 AM
Yeah I mean, Copy's my boy and all but this wasn't a great showing by him, UB is a lot more like Vulgar in my opinion and he should go on to win the tournament just because it's ideally suited to his style and strong points IMO.

I usually keep my votes a little longer, but I seriously think this one will be wrapped up fairly quickly. UnbornBuddah had the bette verse all round, better take to the topic at hand and better execution.

I think if CopyPat had took a comedic route, he could have made a match of this with both styles contrasting and it coming down to personal preference but as it stands there was only one standout here - UnbornBuddah was in his element and Copy was out of his depth with the topic at hand.

In truth UB has probably been the strongest combatant this round, easily the strongest verse this time round in terms of those I've read so far. He's my tip to win this entire thing at this point.

Vote - UnbornBuddah

Mr. J
06-13-2015, 02:23 PM
Ok...well this was an even match up of the week

Copy, I really enjoy your work for the most part, you are a well rounded writer
and this piece shined quite well for the simplicity of how it's put together
you still capture the essence of the pic, and really take it upon yourself to write.
This is the Copy that I enjoy, it may have been a rushed verse but it's still dope
you add enough depth to the character to make the topic stand out as its read
so you had that going, I think with a little more technical aspect you'd grow
either way nice work here dude...

Unborn, What can I say man, this was well suited to your set of skills
the way that you shine on such a piece shows your skills at their best
i also enjoy an Unborn verse whether it's thought enough for the OM
or if it's a throwaway in the Cypher, you have the ability to go unmatched by most
Obviously this battle was in your favor, the topic fits you like it would no other
and although I do love that about you, make sure to branch out on your expertise
make something that compliments your style but doesn't follow the same formula
..

Anyway fella's I always enjoy watching two of my subjects step out the realm of the OM & grow as they take on subjects that are different from their usual material..you two have shined and I appreciate the read fella's

v/Unborn

Vulgar
06-13-2015, 07:26 PM
CopyPat - Ya know, this wasn't bad at all. I always like the continuous, solid rhymes you like to employ, almost reminds me of 'sematic' from Rapflava. Nostalgia, eh? This was decent though, a little empty of creativity. I think you make topics harder than they really are. You can manipulate this topic into any fun/enchanting direction that you want, so you can add humor to a storyline you see fit to tell. I didn't choose this topic to challenge you - I thought it'd actually be a dope photograph to interpret. You have at least one ounce of religiousness and holiness in your belief system... c'mon son.

UnbornBuddha - Interesting take. Sweet and sour, IMO. The Buddha's subconscious inhabits the mind of a boy who is having a conversation with the divine one. He seems to be rebellious at first, pledging that Buddha is obsolete to him, a powerful deity in the form of a Tozan. He is neutralized in the end by the wisdom of the universe, for the Buddha has no enemies. I thought you started off strong, giving us an exotic character. I wasn't feeling the Neo reference too much, I think it strays off topic when you use a film reference in a story the reader is supposed to be convinced is real. The first two stanzas rhymed real well, the third falling off a bit with some simple schemes.

My vote goes to Unborn. He attacked the topic with much more passion and had superior execution.