I'm Out

[Illume]

SPEED VERSE.

Eyes open to the future, past's present.
Time's broken. Birth'll be my last effort.
I'm a trapped weapon wrapped around half seconds,
Minutes, hours as long as the great seven
Days, last of God's rest, first of stars, heavens,
I see time, space. Life. And it's all lessened by this all presence.
Buddha mind's eye; reflect it's all occurrence.
Energy, swirling stars, fluorescent flourish.
Particles arisen as consciousness. Rare courage
Of the cosmos to give us life without purpose.
I'm out. Worthless.

[Tic]

This was kind of all over the place for me. I see a lot of cool concepts, but it seemed that you rushed this (I see it says speed verse). Had you put more time into this I think you could've made the weak connections a bit stronger. Your lines were too short to really delve into the concepts you wanted to, imo. Next time take more time and try to connect your ideas better and I think you could come up with something dope.