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View Full Version : Semi-finals: Clutterbuck vs. UnbornBuddha - (Clutterbuck wins)


Vulgar
06-22-2015, 08:03 PM
WELCOME TO THE END OF THE LINE. WELL, ALMOST. ENSURE YOUR SLOT IN MARTYRDOM BY DECIMATING YOUR ENEMY.

There is no line limit.
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks!)

Verses Due Friday Night. (June 19th)
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(24 hour extensions are allowed. Just one.)

Voting Ends Monday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied

Have Fun
Peace

Clutterbuck UnbornBuddha


Topic:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-l2ujIgs7DW8/UM1Ucv4mKnI/AAAAAAAAAp8/uAjgmWAz7fY/s1600/Spectrum+19+EK+Images+02.jpg

sral
06-23-2015, 12:54 AM
WADDUP BRUH! :)

UnbornBuddha
06-23-2015, 11:01 PM
Hello, let's make this a good one!

Also extension granted.

UnbornBuddha
06-26-2015, 07:28 PM
“Cerebro”

Magneto’s writes:
I covet the power of the Professor’s telepathic device
With it I can harness the psychic channel of life
The mind’s subtle realm, where our shadows divide-
Finding our doppelganger is just a matter of time.
I want to brandish mankind as the lesser of this planet’s design
They’re an inferior species with attachments to crime, addicts to vice
With reactive eyes for death like flies that are attracted to light
This isn’t a misanthropic cry or a fulfillment of a vanity of mine!
It is my former human self, thinking about the maladies survived
Before my mutation,
My soul carried the Holocaust and its tragedies inside
Reality’s mileage has driven my humanity to die
So I head to X’s mansion to surprise my old friend
Catch up on things, while we fight till the end
Mankind’s future deciphered through the cycle of death
Whoever wins, will decide for society’s best
Luckily, my disciples possess abilities that rival the X-men.

It’s quite a sight, ripping out an adamantium spine
And using the alloy to pierce Azazel’s child,
Poor little Nightcrawler cries in pain,
As the metal becomes entrapped in his mandible’s sides
From there I can use it to slowly detach his smile.
It’s time to transcend higher than evolution can take us
Nature’s fabricated illusion escapes us.
Mutants are saviors with depth, humans are vacant rejects,
Baseless insects that infect the rest of the nest. This age is distressed
And I’m here to save the day, the only thing in my way is Xavier’s sagely reflexes.
After killing Cyclops, he and I clash inside a mind map
Everything freezes as if every millisecond has a time lapse!
Infuriated he destroys my immune system and synapses
Paralyzed, I still attack his condition by adapting.
I start manipulating his atom’s chemical reactions
He painfully groans,
But his focus does not falter to musculoskeletal distraction
Charles’s power grows as he enters his meditative sanctum
I must STOP him before his contemplating tranquility
If not, he’ll fathom answers from the Cheyarafim, ancient phantoms
Called aliens who see the world through shapeless angles,
All they are is mutations of angels created from a homunculus God.
Yet, if Xavier gets their help, my brethren and I would have lost.
So, I summon all the agony from my dormant Holocaust shrine
And release all the anguish into his heart’s eye,
Striking it harder than all of Juggernaut’s might
Storm’s end marked the finale of this dark night.

The professor’s defeat made the door to Cerebro open
I levitate in, sit down, and breathe out omens.
Just being in this room my cerebral pulses
Wisdom pours in as if I seen its notion.
And just as I’m preparing to exterminate the human race
Xavier materializes from nowhere and looks enraged
He puts his hand through my chest and rips out my heart
Mystique screams no!!! As I, Magneto, spit out my charge
The electromagnetic force in my body fades,
But, as I lose consciousness I see Xavier’s diabolic face.

Coming to, Charles becomes horrified at what he has done
Having taking life, he now realizes what he must become.
He puts on Cerebro, a sentient psionic entity,
And broadcasts to humanity, a sense of biotic enmity
Ordering our eradication, the professor becomes legendary.
Cerebro’s carries an awareness whose essence varies
On the user and their own developmental theories;
Xavier, the emissary of death for us, believed death to be temporary.

sral
06-26-2015, 07:35 PM
"What Does It Equate To?"

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-l2ujIgs7DW8/UM1Ucv4mKnI/AAAAAAAAAp8/uAjgmWAz7fY/s1600/Spectrum+19+EK+Images+02.jpg

The sky didn't load today. I stared straight at the screen
as binary code fell where the rain should of been.
It simulated a series of sums in substantial
chains of repeating numbers and fractals.
Hundreds of calculations began their descent
as I studied their patterns to exact what they meant.
The mathematical medley spread further afield
until every last geometric of Second World was revealed!
I searched my surreal surrounding amazed to discover
that this perfect ideal had been painted by numbers!
Every shape had a structural plan at it's basis
that made up the sum of a mathematical matrix.
These enigmatic equations were behind all that I saw
- the statutory basics of what had caused them to form.
This ordered conformity proved hard to resist
as I was sure there was more to it, so I started to think!
How did every part of this simulation work to a mandate
yet remain so largely in-sync with it's virtual landscape?
Second World was a man-made augmented reality
that was perfectly translated from a numerical tapestry.
Was there a connection I hadn't seen that was hidden as well?
I sensed that there had to be, so I continued to delve!
These algorithms all held predefined symmetries
from the patterned ridges on shells to the changing tides of the sea.
Even the spiralling sequence pine cones happened to have
- it was like they'd all speak the universal language of math!
These fractal-like patterns were a product of automation
manufactured en masse so they were functioning verbatim.
I studied the equations and how they related to each other
both the number of the nature, and the nature of the numbers.
Fascinated to uncover the building blocks of this digital zone
- was there a way I could adjust it, to the one we physically know?
I clicked to look closer, compare and contrast,
thinking this over as my avatar searched everywhere on the map.
It became fairly apparent in the use of this fresh search
that both worlds shared an elaborate numeral network!
I continued it a step further, looking at the characteristics
in the movement and tenure of our planetary systems.
They all have an elliptical structure they have to keep
it's a mathematical synergy that's governed by gravity.
The circumference they travel being exactly the same
is yet another example seen of these factors at play.
The galaxy's made up of constants and certainties
with math at the base of the logical world we see!
Once that anomaly first appeared for me to establish the fact
I knew the one universally spoken language was math!
Things didn't happen by chance, there was a method pertained
and the more I carried on asking, the more questions I raised.
Had the universe "invented" this matrix the day it first formed
or had we developed it later, to explain what we saw?
Did we make up the formula as a tool to depict with
or was this nature performing as it would do since existence?
The true coefficient is we still haven't answered its secret
but i'm damn sure it inhibits a mathematical sequence...

Mr. J
06-26-2015, 08:16 PM
It's been a long journey gentlemen, on that note...CHEERS!!
https://lukecurtis.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/batman21.jpg

Unborn, I have enjoyed watching you progress further into this
you sir are definitely an underrated writer in your own right.
You are one of the few to keep up with me in the cypher...
your stream of consciousness is greater than most writers possess
the style has switched up as you defeated opponent after opponent
i appreciate the form in which you wrote this piece, quite the cast you added on.
from the start of the verse you have me captured in your use of words

They’re an inferior species with attachments to crime, addicts to vice
With reactive eyes for death like flies that are attracted to light
This isn’t a misanthropic cry or a fulfillment of a vanity of mine!
It is my former human self, thinking about the maladies survived
Before my mutation,
My soul carried the Holocaust and its tragedies inside
Reality’s mileage has driven my humanity to die

I really enjoyed that, but the switch up with X's mansion and so on threw me off
the issue is the transitioning for me, it just seems clunky after the build from the beginning
otherwise I felt aside from the ending you had a really nicely written verse.
You have earned your way to the end, and it's almost in your grips...

Lars, your piece is a clutterbuck of information to take in...
your flow is amazing this time around and you throw so much at the reader
I understand what Vulgar meant by being quick with the storyline
although you have shown that aspect numerous times, my favorite being the mask topic
you find a different way you work around your topic and make it come off effortless
it's been a joy watching you toy with each topic to be honest..
and this was littered with quotables as well as more lines for inspiration..

Second World was a man-made augmented reality
that was perfectly translated from a numerical tapestry.
Was there a connection I hadn't seen that was hidden as well?
I sensed that there had to be, so I continued to delve!

your grasp on wording makes the read more worthwhile than most
I rarely see the word tapestry & to find it lingering about like its all good
then to stumble across the use of the word delve, shit man, you are smooth
to most it may just be a word, but it's your use that makes it memorable
all around great verse...

v/This would have been a tough decision just based off the names
but Lars came through with one of the best written's so far..
his ability to manipulate a sentence and have it make sense while not missing a beat
smh, his tenacity has gone unmatched as far as I'm concerned
and he won this round, respect to both writers for making it this far...
congrats fellas

v/Lars

Allen Knight
06-28-2015, 05:51 PM
godddamn will come back to vote, honestly have to re-read
i read this while smokiing a blunt & this was fire by both props.

Inno
06-29-2015, 08:32 AM
budda

I enjoyed your take on the picture. Kinda cool you meant with an xmen theme for your plot. Thought that creative abd unique. Well done there. For me your story carried well throught out and tbh didnt fautler at all. I felt like your developed each character just right. Basically you didnt have any haults to the story. It was smooth and read cohesively through out. I felt like you took your own comic book reading and put it to this picture which again i thought was clever. Though it was a technicaly sound piece. I felt i didnt get that wow factor towards the end. Which the ending to me felt predictable, almost rushed in a sense. Omly gripe i have is that ending. I could used more more seymour lol. Overall tho this was an outstanding piece. Thank you for your effort.

Lars

Man. The sky didnt load today. Wtf man fuck you for being so good. Right Way with that first sentence i got the tone and direction of your piece. That shit is just simply dope. I loved the math theme and i thought the way you carried it with out slowing down deminishing story or rhymed was just you shpwing off your skills man. Not far lol. Srsly though i thought budda had a dope take but you take the cake with this one bro. The language the word use the almsot perfect rhyming sequences got me. Great ending tbh. I felt like unlike buddah you took from the picture and continued to expand on the image. Where as budda wrote a story that fits the picture. In other words you transcended the picture and made it your own. Great job man really digging that part of your piece.


Overall


Like said before i think my deciding factor is lars' ability to keep the verse so above par as far a technicality while maintaining a cohesive story that not only kept my attention but took the topic to a whole nother level. Great battle.

I got the clitbox winning

Ronin
07-01-2015, 12:11 PM
Buddha, I really like this piece. It was incredible, it had it all really great story telling, some action n a little suspense with the ending which I liked. Prof X now knowing what he had to do since he took like. It was like telling the history of how we arrived to the picture. Had good rhyme scheme and flow n didn't really fall off anywhere. The imagery was great too. Once I started I was invested in the story n couldn't stop. I'm partial to xmen too soooo lol. I thought u had this in the bag for sure...

Then I read clusterfuck's piece. Wow. I like the concept of a parallel/alternate reality that coincides with our existence and that its based on math and constants. At first I was like ok he's doing a matrix type piece but it wasn't that at all, it was something unique and that's what I really likes about it. It was like u pealed back the veil to look at the mexhanics of the universe. The flow was seamless and the vocabulary used was crazy. Like Mr j said when I seen tapestry and the way u used it I was like "my nigga." Lol.

This was close and I was really pulling for buddah after reading his verse cause the xmen theme lol. But Lars's was just incredible. So...

Vote Lars

Sorry if my breakdown and vote sounds retarded but its hard to do on my phone.

Plot
07-01-2015, 03:13 PM
Buddah was entertaining, and I got into the xmen theme, but I think I would have done more with it more references and I think he fell off rhyme around the 3 quarters way. I did enjoy his story though and it is a difficult job to make a rhyme a story, as all topicalists know, I just think he could have gone more over the top with the xmen concept and also that concept isn;t realy abstract pertaining to the image.

Lars was quite tranceful to read, and it made my mind boggly. It seemed so simple but all put together so complicated, in so oarts the rymhing scheme fell off and then it was brought back 2 lines later which accomodated. The theme was masterful, maths, and a little bit of pondering life thrown in the end but not too much too take a side, nice, It reminded me of your piece about the evoultion of life a bit.

Baron owned this, his piece is hof worthy.