Hush vs Destroyer (Destroyer wins)

[Vulgar]

LGPA Season 1: Week 2

Hush Destroyer

Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

Present Day (Modern Era)

America present day represents the lengths of technology. We voice our opinions more so on social media than in voting booths. The country is marred by political extremism that only harms the people in the middle. Somehow, Iphones, TV dramas, and apathy define the present times.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

[Hush]

Get these abstract thoughts yo


Gluck Desi

[Destroyer]

gl homie

[Hush]

Touch screen finger prints on a smudged screen
the American dream turns to a nightmare off ambien
Techno warfare to techno beats..I hope they dub step it
I used to watch the clouds go by
at BestBuy new iWatch, now I buy
Catchy buzzwords on the news scroll
I don't know what Apathy means but I'm feeling the way it sounds.

[Destroyer]

my status update is that 'it's fucked.'
great.
i tweeted it, just to repeat it.
and, in my interest, it got pinned to pinterest.
but then i got pissed and deleted it.
out of boredom, i posted it on another forum.
with an edit, and it made it to reddit!
all the way to the front page,
but then, in my blunt rage,
i sincerely started to regret it.
cuz what i thought was a riddle...
putting 'not' in the middle
was really a lie and a little pathetic.

[Inno]

Since im here.

Hush

Noce touch tho. Very subtle with the poetic voice. Lol bro honestly
This little diddy was dope. For what you had it was chalked full of depth
And emotion. Only thing lacking was a bit more imagery which could of
Added to the piece as a whole if you would of just wrotea bit more. None the less
What you had was strong.

Des

You knoe poems nigga why u frontin like u dont know how to write poetry lol.
Bit nah this very well written and i gotta say i like this one alot more than lask
Weeks. I felt like this has closure. I loved how this rhymed by the way. It really
Added to the overall value of your words. Strategic rhyming and good imagery.
Like hush tho i wish u would wrote more.

Overall.

This was a good battle of two dudes dipping there toes in the pond. I wanna see you
Niggas bathed in this shit. Cuz ama be honest bothofvyou could write HOF poetry
If you really wantes to. On to the vote. Ok so i re red both and ana have to give my vote
To the piece that has more playback value. I think des got this one. As im typing the vote
In my head im hearing pieces of his poem. That is dope. No hate on hush either cuz this
Was actually really close. Props to both and hope to see u both later in the season

Vote des,

[Objective]

Hush - Short and sweet. A bit predictable that it'd be about some technology ish so not really that creative in terms of out of the box thinking regarding the topic but shit was decent imo. Your closure to me is also reflecting on how the modern day is a bit dumbed down. Some cool wordplay in there, shit wasn't just modern in terms of the topic but in terms of writing as well. I enjoyed the read.

Destroyer - Same thing with Hush, kind of predictable the way you went with your piece regarding the topic but the piece itself wasn't and it was executed well. Overall it was cool to me.

Vote: Both of you went kind of in a similar direction and you already know what I think about punctuation/grammar so I'm not bringing it up. That said; Hush's shit was short and sweet, so was Destro's. I felt Destroyers poem had a bit more of a story and depth whereas Hush went along with a shorter and less personal one.

Kind of hard to pick a winner because I felt both had shit the other one lacked. I enjoyed Hush's ''the American dream turns to a nightmare of ambien''-kind of language while Destroyer was a little bit more simple. Perhaps another stanza or some shit and Hush could have picked up my vote? Idk but Destroyer had a better overall feel to the verse as a whole, and all things considered I felt Destroyer edges it and ends up snatching my vote.

[Sn00p]

hiiiiiiiiiigh right now, but i got hush. will edit in later

[Woke]

Dez

This was more of a collab then battle in all honesty. Eerily similar routes. In the end while both had some witty lines with puns that landed, I feel like Dez came full circle with including the 'not' bar. It gave example to the opening lines and culminated the closing thoughts. A nice lil burrito though.

[Razah]

Pretty similar approaches, which actually makes this a lot easier to judge.

Hush, I liked this line.

the American dream turns to a nightmare off ambien


That was real slick, as far as Destroyer: I really enjoyed the whole piece.

The rhyme scheme was pretty dope through out the whole piece, and these bars in bold stood out to me. I don't think they were brilliant ideas or anything, but they were somewhat clever, enough to put a smirk on my face.

"my status update is that 'it's fucked.'
great.
i tweeted it, just to repeat it.
and, in my interest, it got pinned to pinterest.
but then i got pissed and deleted it.
out of boredom, i posted it on another forum.
with an edit, and it made it to reddit!
all the way to the front page,
but then, in my blunt rage,
i sincerely started to regret it.
cuz what i thought was a riddle...
putting 'not' in the middle
was really a lie and a little pathetic."

vDestroyer

[Vulgar]

Both came with a whole diff approach to poetry.. Hush had this self aware connotative type of tone, to where it seemed like a grain of philosophy about this new technological age. It was too short for me to gain any insight from it, tbh... could've expanded on a particular piece of technology or cited an event in history where people weren't ready for some invention/or where our generation is headed. More stanzas would've meant for impact for me, personally.

Destro had a neat, though somewhat predictable, poem connecting social media platforms, and showed how self expression is all about the "click of a button" now but it's so deceiving even we believe it sometimes when we watch the words on a screen. With so many avenues to "express ourself" we feel the need to share our changing emotional tides like we are the Coast Guard or something. I thought it was cool.

Vote - Destro

More affecting, better impact.

[Pinot Grij]

Hush's verse just had more natural and organic language use - which is pivotal in this medium. I think the verses were similar in concept - but Hush's verse didn't feel "written".. it was more free-flowing and authentic. In that regard, my vote goes to Hush

[ribbit]

Aye I'm also going with hush. Both of y'all dropped similar ideas. I thought des had a stop and go verse which kind of made it difficult to address his poem..whereas hush came with just enough to take this one

Vote:hush