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View Full Version : Innovator vs. UnbornBuddha - (Innovator wins)


Vulgar
07-13-2015, 09:10 PM
LGPA Season 1: Week 3

Innovator Zen UnbornBuddha

Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)

This week's theme is to write three haikus. Why three, you ask? You're probably thinking, why not just write one and vote for the best? In my opinion, writing one haiku is a little too easy. Writing three will increase your odds of winning the battle, should one not strike a chord, and also to make it a more thorough writing exercise.

Example of what your submission should look like:


'title'
[haiku]

'title'
[haiku]

'title'
[haiku]

Your theme for your haikus shall be: Chaos

Inno
07-13-2015, 09:32 PM
Hahaha dope shit check

UnbornBuddha
07-13-2015, 11:03 PM
Three huh, hmm sounds like fun.

Inno
07-16-2015, 07:40 PM
Hurricane

billowing heartbeat
take flight among the sleeves, I
just want the feathers.


Charlie. Everywhere.


beautifully release
feeding the forest with veins;
blood soaked roots bud fruit.


A rush of water to the head.

tsunami's rope tide
people and earth into one;
waves of knots rising.

UnbornBuddha
07-17-2015, 09:38 PM
The doorway to memories
Two warriors clash;
Their best memories unfold
Standing at death’s door.

Memory 1- the Bear Hug
Daddy lifting me
Squeezing the breath out my lungs
…I miss being little.

Death’s door
I hope when death comes
Tears and hate are not present.
…Just children laughing…

Objective
07-17-2015, 10:14 PM
Innovator - I really liked all of your Haiku's in different ways. The first and last following the traditional 5,7,5, the middle had 6,7,5 which is chaos itself as it goes beyond the traditional rules of 17 syllables or you were thinking ''beautiful'' instead of ''beautifully'', hah, either way I thought it fit to the topic. Nature shit as well in your poems, well done.

UnbornBuddha - You took a more straight forward approach following the traditional syllable count with 7,5,7 except for the middle one. I suspect that's a fluke like with Innovators Haiku but I don't mind. I enjoyed The Bear Hug the most out of your Haiku's as it's a bit bitter sweet with The Doorway to Memories being my second favorite. I'm not sure if I get the last haiku, sure happiness is to be wished upon everyone after ones death but children laughing seems to be a bit much for me. Great showing.

Vote - Pretty cool battle, it was cool to see how different the approaches were. Personally UnbornBuddha's approach and style moved me the most but from a neutral perspective I felt Innovator takes it on technicalities; Nature and twists. This could go either way but my vote goes to Innovator.

ribbit
07-18-2015, 05:36 AM
I'm going with unbornbuddha enjoyed his verses more...though inno fucked up the first one and his second and third were alright but unborn took this with more poetic value

Vote....unbornbuddha

Woke
07-18-2015, 12:38 PM
These are some good haikus, all of them. I enjoyed the overall theme of disaster from inno. The wording and poetical tense fit this condensed haiku week well. Buddha also wrote a solid verse, more emotional but effective. These are equally my two poems of the week, so tough vote to say the least. In the end, while I enjoyed the emotional tugging of Buddha, there is something dark in me. So when you write about blood soaked floors budding fruit for prey, you will usually get the edge. I love the darker verse a tad more

inno

Destroyer
07-19-2015, 09:41 PM
this was a tough one
I enjoyed both almost equally
I think the middle from each was my favorite

gotta give the edge to inno since his had more room for broad interpretation
good shit both

v/inno