Week 1: Innovator vs. Objective- OBJECTIVE WINS BY NS (OPEN FOR FEED)

[Split Eight]

AOWL Season V, Week 1


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Sunday, July 19th, 11:59p.m. PCT
Monday, July 20th 2:59a.m. EST
Monday, July 20th 7:59a.m UK
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Wednesday, July 22nd, 11:00p.m. PCT/8p.m. EST/4a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=96884)

TOPIC:
http://i.imgur.com/3jqCAnAh.jpg


Good luck Innovator and Objective

[Inno]

Fuck yeah in

[Objective]

Yes.

Votes:
Ribbit vs Tyson
Ullr vs Timeless

[Objective]

Seeing how extensions are granted the first week I'm going to need one.

[Inno]

Aill post today if allowed

[Objective]

Chris Foley; the prostution ring’s wannabe Breaking Bad,
A good guy but mostly he’s just a deadbeat dad.
Does everything to give his son what he didn’t get,
at the expense of quality time and eternal regret.
‘’As long as the ends are met…’’, was his motto,
Giving two shits if it was worked for, illegal or winning the lotto.
Deep down he isn’t a fond of hard administrative work,
Dude’s just cold hearted and narcissistic. A manipulative jerk.
If one of his girls came up short he’d take a cut from the others,
And rewarding loyal customers by treating them like his brothers.
Even had a couple chicks he’d use as his personal lovers,
Yet sly enough to expect the girls to clean their own covers.
The kind of man drama don’t bother, he just follows himself,
perhaps it was the death of his wife that led him to Hell?

Four years has passed since then and his son is hooked on the pad,
But determined enough to not follow the course of his dad.
He sits by the corner focused on programming some apps,
Read a lot ‘bout design so he won’t get stuck in technical traps.
And one of his major concerns is his dad’s risk taking and cause for profit,
So the prodigy went into work on how he himself could get something off it.
He made a system using encrypted transaction with bitcoin and QR codes,
So now the user could safely order by GPS from their mobile phones.
But the kid had hidden a code that alerted the cops after each transaction,
Which led the feds to take these anonymous tips seriously and go into action.

So when his dad got jailed and eventually put behind bars,
He went back to the streets with one of his pops credit cards.
And used one of his apps as a ploy for where profits were made,
People deep in the game was suspicious of this little kid’s trade.
If he didn’t log in every two days further proof would be shown,
So chicks, hustlers and gangsters let him play by the throne.
He had money and power so people would come to his aid,
That’s how an eight year old told the underworld how the game should be played.

[Inno]

Yo take this one i got nothing this week.

[2tripple0]

Right well I thought this was a bit strange with the direction you ttook.i enjoyed how the lines connected as you kept dwelling into the underground prostitution rings...but at the same time because you were connecting each line so perfectly it almost took away from you overall piece...It was almost as if you were trying to hard to stay on topic...anyways this was still a decent effort and enjoyed the storyline...only thing is I didn't really relate to it very much almost as if I had no sympathy for your character. ..anyways fair effort

[Objective]

Thanks for the feed 2tripple0, I appreciate it and you bring an important note about the piece being hard to relate to. I didn't have any sympathy for the character writing it either and I kind of wanted the story to just be grimy altogether. But ye, just a heads up to everyone; no need to feed this as I didn't put any work into it. I kind of just wrote something just to show in case Innovator had written something. This is basically a keystyle, it isn't worked with at all beside the concept that had lingered in my head before I decided to write something just to have something to post.

[Pinot Grij]

Yo, Objective - this was a neat little storytelling strategy - two sides of the story coming together neatly to show that the little man has indeed become the next gen pimp daddy. The ride towards the finish was not always smooth - it felt a little weird getting off the ground but definitely picked up in the second stanza. Overall, pretty impressed at the storytelling prowess though

[Objective]

Thanks Pinot Grij, appreciate the read and your words.