Week 1: Unbornbuddha vs Razah- RAZAH WINS 3-2

[Split Eight]

AOWL Season V, Week 1


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Sunday, July 19th, 11:59p.m. PCT
Monday, July 20th 2:59a.m. EST
Monday, July 20th 7:59a.m UK
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Wednesday, July 22nd, 11:00p.m. PCT/8p.m. EST/4a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=96884)

TOPIC:
http://i.imgur.com/UJT7cCG.jpg


Good luck UnbornBuddha Razah

[Razah]

word.

[UnbornBuddha]

Long ago, the Chief Elder spoke of a prophecy
Foreseeing omens that will hold our souls under sovereignty;
Our foes will arrive in strange boats forming colonies
They’ll appear helpless but will do unheard atrocities.
Through us, they will learn astronomy
And through them, we will learn of sodomy.
We, the Nazca, have observed many of nature’s anomalies
Fathoming them all by using this universe’s cosmology,
The macrocosmic property that made Earth a conscious being!
Despite this, we’re fated to be reborn in the serpent’s odyssey
A curse that will put our civilization at its mercy constantly
It is said: when a gargantuan red meteor makes the sky bleed
Fate will be cast, and our lionhearted race will die diseased;
We’ll be defeated by divine decree.

It is as the ancients said, they’ve come!
And they offer blankets as alms
Perhaps, we can be brothers in arms
Maybe we misjudged them
For they haven’t uttered any harm.

Days later,
Unbearable sickness has swept my people
Their skin boils & suppurates this deadly evil.
I’m afraid these outsiders meant for this to happen,
It feels like all our major organs are reactive
The children impacted from it, crawl to them for help
They scoff and say: “We’re HERE to send you to hell!”
Our only hope is to survive the pathogen
But, the prophecy already has decided adamantly
That our life isn’t adequate…
We can’t fight when we can’t define the antigens.

Hopelessness,
It’s like being deprived of your psyche’s oxygen
And then mentally forced into a violent catalyst
But, we’re no match, they have giant battleships
Equipped with behemoth cannons that breach our palace.
My whole family has disappeared underneath the madness,
The pile of ashes that are steeped in sadness
A scene you can only imagine if disaster your daily companion.
These barbaric demigods didn’t even give our babies compassion
Without flinching, their captain gave the order to flay them with contraptions
Their religious saviors sanctioned to be used on their slaves and their captives.
Fear mongrels that tongue every name of anguish, found in any language
I can see it now, their eyes burn with the flame of passionate desire
To access and acquire our sacred practices, so they’ll ascend even higher.

After the bloodbath, some of us were spared
The only event summary is despair.
But, the elder said: “Even in its most dismal darkest nights
The larva will climb out its old carcass and become a butterfly;”
Metamorphosis, where our heart’s light will start to shine
Creating a bridge that will reach those in the afterlife
Bringing them back, so they can etch the Nazca lines.

[UnbornBuddha]

Razah
You going to need the extension?

[Razah]

Yes please.

[Razah]

Lights flicker and a shot is taken
History's recorded & it's not for saken
This is our life, this is not for taking
Time's like this make sure G-d is praying

No longer who I used to be, all of this is new to me
Farewell to the life I had - As I begin to write my eulogy
Usually this wouldn't matter, living life like we're iconic
Thinking that we're savages & monsters - Isn't that ironic
I think it's all an act, the life you have you live blissfully
So if we have imperfect lives, tell me, how do you improve felicity
The simplicity is beautiful, your kind is divided by hatred
Anguish - But us, everything we need is provided by nature
We're in tune with the world, live life the way it's meant to be
Get a feel for everything around you, even the wind has its own melody
It's a different vision, something we will never try to be
If the eyes are the window to your soul -- You're blind to me
It's an invasion of our privacy, the culture that we have
We could never give this up to the vultures of the land
I keep a face with no emotion, I see the terror you can bring
I wonder why you feel the need to spread the era that you seek
Honestly, does this ever bring sorrow to your heart?
If today doesn't suit your vision you'll take tomorrow all apart
If I could tell you how I feel through the language that I know
I'd tell you I was full of joy 'til you brought hatred to my soul
I feel like you're a man that sleeps & dreams of all his pride
But this anger that I feel feels like thunder screaming from the sky
& the shouting doesn't stop, you're a cancer without a cure
All I can do is wait & say a prayer - For all pain we will endure

[Split Eight]

This was a dope battle. I've got to drive to Lowell and back, but I will be voting on this later.

[Inno]

I read this yesterday and its doper today lol.

Both really showed some top notch writing skills and im this type pf battle
Of feel its uselless to pick out technical differences when both honestly are
Dam near flawless in my eyes. So when a battle like this shows up i look at
The story line, topic and which angle the writer took. Budha for me wrote close
To flawless while telling a story line that kept me enthralled. Great use of the topic
And VOTW for me. Tranacending a topic an making something so mich more
Should always be noticed and rewarded..


Buddha

[Mr. J]

Unborn, I really enjoy how you opened your verse, the flow was smooth
the way you just ease your way through these lines makes it so interesting
it's easier to follow once you use the right amount of words & rhymes
I think the most interesting part was when you got to this point...

Hopelessness,
It’s like being deprived of your psyche’s oxygen
And then mentally forced into a violent catalyst
But, we’re no match, they have giant battleships
Equipped with behemoth cannons that breach our palace.
My whole family has disappeared underneath the madness,

I thought the catalyst/battleships thing was pretty dope
the rest was classic Unborn...nice work bruh

Razah, it's nice to see you partake in the AOWL as well as the Martyrs league
you really bring a different vibe from the other writers which is refreshing
I really enjoyed your verse, I didn't like that little opener though...
I understand what you were going for but I feel like that was ill fitting for the piece
maybe it's just me, either way I really liked this part right here.

The simplicity is beautiful, your kind is divided by hatred
Anguish - But us, everything we need is provided by nature
We're in tune with the world, live life the way it's meant to be
Get a feel for everything around you, even the wind has its own melody

that was just a dope little section, I look forward to reading more from you
I thought this was a smooth verse but I would have liked to see you dive deeper
either way dope verse..

V/I'm going to have to give this to Unborn, he had a complete verse as opposed to Razah
but Razah didn't slouch too much to really touch up on anything, I just wanted more from his verse
I really enjoyed both writers and it's great to see them join the AOWL
always enjoyable reading from Unborn, and Razah will be making a come up further down the road
nice work fella's

[Split Eight]

This was dope. I appreciated both takes equally. The change from reverence to disgust was cool, I thought it was a nice dual perspective. I thought it wore a little thin towards the end, it was more melodramatic than it needed to be. I really liked Razah's piece, especially the feeling of being forced into a less fitting lifestyle for the people of the narrator, it was worded well throughout and really spoke out strongly for that part.

I'd have to give this one to Razah.

[2tripple0]

I too have to give this to razah I thought his verse was better and unborn Buddha struggled to created a concept and his verse felt like some shit I wrote years ago.. It was too easy for my liking and razah had a couple dope flips and much more structured verse...all in all his lines were fresher better worded and landed much better than ub....Therefore

Vote/razah

[Woke]

UB - FML bro. I'm only like 1/8th of the way deep and the knowledge you are dropping is on a real life level. Reminds me of Lupe Fiascos best song, a three part story in which he explains Indians to White men and ends with the White house being found by another civilization. They found the seal, liberty and justice for all, and thought we were a good people. Mfff. anyways. Finished with Nazca lines... In this life time I will sit down with you drinking a brew and just talk, podcast style. We mesh.

Razah - Forsaken is a single word tho. Took an eerily similar route, not as historic text book wise, but you laid out your own personal feelings in this awkward situation. I enjoyed this verse, the rhyme was fluid enough, not overly complex or eye popping amazing, just nearly seamless packing meaning with in, which is appreciated.


I think this was a collab. While Buddha went factual Razah played it smart and wrote about the same events only giving himself a voice speaking on a first person level. This battle was enjoyed from the opening bar to the finale. giving a slight edge to

Razah

[Split Eight]

Razah wins 3-2