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View Full Version : Week 4: Vulgar vs. Destroyer (Vulgar wins)


Vulgar
07-20-2015, 02:20 PM
LGPA Season 1: Week 4

Destroyer

Rematch since we tied last week. Good luck.

Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

Choose your topic from the Topic Thread.

Vulgar
07-20-2015, 09:02 PM
:)

Destroyer
07-20-2015, 09:16 PM
yup

Vulgar
07-24-2015, 01:52 AM
ext?

Destroyer
07-24-2015, 07:57 AM
please

Vulgar
07-25-2015, 11:58 PM
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.joystiq.com/media/2010/03/laststory311.jpg

Taking a hiatus from Dreamland
starting tomorrow

Don't call me for job offers
or invitations to the floating palace
I recognize leaving behind the bluest waters
the most decked out waitresses -
even the nude ones

I've been marked a deviant
out to wrest the artificiality from the produce
and lead astray the swaying Leviticus reeds

What happens here
stays here
while I'm in transit to a realer sense of effi***y

Destroyer
07-26-2015, 09:00 AM
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2014-09-27-LewisHineMillgirlsTiftonGeorgia1909.jpg

there once were two women of note
who worked in the factories of soap
but Leah was jealous
of her sister's new fellas
so she took a dull blade to her throat

Woke
07-26-2015, 11:02 AM
Two good verses, one far too short but used the leprechaun scheme, "man from Nantucket" which was cool. Gave it a little life given its brevity. Vulgar doused in imagery, a land scape of, well, falsehood I guess. The story was of the man not returning, in search of true reality. Some solid writing was plugged into this verse, I did enjoy it.

Vulgar

Inno
07-26-2015, 12:03 PM
Vulgar

Las vegas? I read your piece and instantly thought of vegas. While your there lost in
The translation of it. Realizing you have to come back to reality to face the world.
Dope little diddy here. Chalked full of imagery, just like the pic. Dope.

Des.

You could of had this with a bit more detail. I liked the flow and really the progression
And transitions were dope as fuck considering the length of this. this felt like an intro to a greater piece. Would love to see you come back to this and expand on it.

Vote vulgar for a offering up a bit more than his opponent. Another dope battle.

UnbornBuddha
07-26-2015, 10:18 PM
Vulgar: A story about someone who is leaving the dreamland, tainted paradise, in a way. A person whose choosing to wander into the unknown, rather than live in a fantasy-based world where the lifestyle of its inhabitants is probably one with voracious compulsions to the desires of their hearts, but it's not reality, life isn't all about pleasure. I enjoyed it, but I did feel the first verse felt a bit clunky in its presentation of the material, but the second and third were smooth sailing.

Destroyer: Very straight forward, razor sharp in its delivery. I mean there's not much to say other than a bad pun, mostly because the story was straightforward, it doesn't leave much for me to to say. It was okay but I did feel as if you lacked something. Perhaps, more of an emotional connection between the sisters, but they were presented so abruptly and then one died so quick, its hard to make any connection honestly.

Vote: Vulgar