Split Eight
07-24-2015, 09:30 PM
Art of Writing League: Season 5
Week 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz2cdUYQHSg
[Introduction]
Hi everyone, welcome to Week 2 of 14 in the AOWL regular season. This is your moderator split doing the mag- by which I mean, literally just formatting the magazine. Mad props to Innovator and Adonis for their help with this.
A few good, strong match-ups and a bunch of unmet no-show verses- some of which would have laid down the groundwork for some fantastic battles.
The league has a shaky week 1 start, as per tradition, but I believe that the incorporation of new, more feasible deadlines, as well as enforcing voting rules will bring about a little more regularity and encourage more sign-ups. Look for the advent of champ matches for activity to really pick up.
Without further ado, here are the Reviews, Predictions, Power Ranks and Conclusions.
[Reviews]
Timeless vs. Ullr
[Split]
This was a really great battle, I feel like people undersell Timeless's verse because Ullr's overshadowed it. Ullr really brought his verse home in what I would say is hands down the best verse of the season thus far, though to be fair I did not read through all of the no-shows.
Timeless
[Adonis]
You went vague and abstract in my eyes. While this is not bad sometimes, if I can be blunt, sometimes it is. In this case you wrote something difficult to follow and tough to connect with. This was not a bad verse aesthetically per say, but as far as being able to decipher and follow; you fell short.
Ullr
[Adonis]
Wrote a topical about the sons left behind, fathers of war, the dead and the unappreciated or unrealized sacrifices and overlooked way of life, not realizing the cost paid, just living happily in the 'now-time'. Flow was solid as fuck I must say even if at points it grew stale, right around the corner was a change up that would quickly rectify this. I enjoyed from start to end, zero complaints in actuality, a rarity in this age. Thorough and to the point even if it was a bit hidden to those who don't actually head the words.
UnbornBuddha vs. Razah
[Split]
This match-up was very slept on. Razah had an unconventional and open dialogue with the reader that touched on a lot of crucial themes in the topic, without seeming contrived. UnbornBuddha had a well-built verse that had a poetic edge to it. Razah ended up taking this in a nail-biter.
UnbornBuddha
[Adonis]
You wrote about the connection of Mother Earth and her inhabitants. The American Aborigine do hold the gold in recent history in understanding and co-existing alongside our Mother. I loved the tale you weaved, the knowledge you gifted us is in tune with my beliefs. This is text book work in the literal sense, which to me is fucking awesome. I love reading and learning and enjoy your work to the fullest.
Razah
[Adonis]
Took the same concept but added one crucial element, the element of personal reflection and emotion. You did this discreetly and wisely. Went with a first person experience and reaction while essentially collabing with your counterpart. The overlying message of Indians holding a closer eye, in tune with her surroundings was key. You executed your topic just as Buddha did, only added that personal effect.
Ribbit vs. Tyson
[Split]
Strange clash, I didn't fully connect with either approach here. Both writers are in challenging match-ups this week, and I fully expect them to bring their A-game. Tyson proves his experience over Ribbit in a close win.
Ribbit
[Adonis]
Mispelled a lot in the opening bars, tough watching a butcher of a solid theme. “it'd a perfect apocalypse” What? It's very taxing for me to stay focused in paying close attention to context and plot while reading words that are not words. Strains the brain my man, not a fan. Spell check would clean this up enough to peak my intrigue. Are you 2triple???? I thought we got over these simple mistakes bro, elevate.
Tyson
[Adonis]
Yet another verse not so enjoyed. Not sure where to start here because the ending was less that and more the start of the middle??? All in all it wasn't awful and I think you could have won easily if you simply took the time to write, what? Three more bars and cap off the story in dramatic fashion. In any sense, I saw some rhyme schemes that jelled and worked and some that didn't. A bit all over the place, but as I said, not shabby. Just nothing Belt worthy even if completed.
No-Show Shine
Witty
[Adonis]
Wrote a tale of a prostitute, from the looks of the picture you kept it simple. A scared woman being used willingly, nightly to support rent and what not. But in the end you completely flipped the story. You captivated me as the reader with a short winded flow that rhymed well yet, explained so much pertaining to detail. It's almost as if you yourself is a male slut given all the particulars he threw at me, first person type writing. Very enjoyable.
Objective
[Adonis]
A story about a boy whose father is the local successful pimp. Through algorithms and trade he collects profit while condemning his father and reaping the benefits of the crown. At the same time he obtains none of it's negative warrants as he essentially rigged the system. Lyrically this was not perfect, but on a story-telling level, damn near so. You connected me with the photos entirety, explained in detail what the picture was and then spun it in the direction you wanted. A solid read that was enjoyed aside from the flow that was not bad, just not as buttoned up as I normally would prefer. Again, writing a solid story was the key here, and lock was picked, so the rest hits the way side in my mind.
Pinot Grij
[Adonis]
Nice stroke, penned a complete story that kept the finale in dim light while giving enough detail to wonder where I'm headed. I liked the... “rhyme style”? The choice to go with only two end rhymes through out the story is always intriguing because I try to pay close attention to repetitive phrasing and such, only this time I found myself paying more attention to the story's direction then the writers flaws. The ending scheme brought me back to juvenile/cash money era - “A nigga do a trick yeah, on the dick yeah. You claimin you want a picture, that ain't shit yeah” Minus the no-homo of course. Dope little keystyle, victory by default. Well deserved none the less.
Mr.J
[Adonis]
Nice flip in the end. Dug the concept of escape though. While you explained this well, I wish you had gone into a tad more depth of the real escape. I did love the “ads your self esteem is controlled by” line. A single line brought massive depth to this verse. A story about escape and the tomfoolery that follows. Enjoyed this inward view of a young soul enjoying his youth, yet as ADULTs, we look to him with disgust wrongfully. You explained the picture perfectly, and while you do this often, taking an “off the beaten path” approach now and again would be, well, different.
[Predictions]
Ribbit (0-1) vs. Mr. J (1-0)
[Split]
I see Mr. J taking this match easily. He was recently in the finals of the Martyrs tournament, posted a solid verse for Week 1 and a killer verse for Write Week, and generally did a fantastic job. Ribbit did not impress last week, but has a somewhat solid background in topicals.
Mr. J 75/25
UnbornBuddha (0-1) vs. Tyson (1-0)
[Split]
Good matchup. A Tyson win here would be an upset, in my opinion, despite what the record may show. Buddha is a behemoth when it comes to conceptual approaches, and quote topics serve him well. Tyson was relatively inactive until recently (the start of the season) and if he has any rust left to shake off, I think the comparatively more active voters will pick up on it.
UnbornBuddha 70/30
Asylum (0-0) vs. Rakontur (0-0)
[Split]
Good matchup of two fresh sign-ins. Rakontur is completely unknown, and Asylum has participated in several seasons, I believe? Maybe more recently. I'd put my money on Asylum based off of what I know of him as a writer.
Asylum 55/45
Innovator (0-1) vs. Razah (1-0) vs. Witty (1-0)
[Split]
Cool triple match-up here, unfortunately not by design. Witty and Razah had strong verses, and Innovator had a no-show loss that he redeemed through votes. I'm hesitant to call this any which way. Razah really impressed me with his writer's voice and his general diction, I'd say it was the most surprised I've been by a verse in quite a long time. Witty has some of his competitive drive back, and Innovator's been quite consistent for the past few weeks in other leagues. I am giving this one to Razah, however.
Razah 25/60/15
[Power Ranks]
1. Ullr
2. Razah
3. Mr. J
4. Pinot Grij
[Outrospection]
[Split]
Those who showed- good work, great verses all around. Let's keep up the voting & the competitve atmosphere, it'll do wonders for this league. A Q&A by Innovator will also hopefully be edited in soon! I'm out for the evening though. Happy writing.
Week 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz2cdUYQHSg
[Introduction]
Hi everyone, welcome to Week 2 of 14 in the AOWL regular season. This is your moderator split doing the mag- by which I mean, literally just formatting the magazine. Mad props to Innovator and Adonis for their help with this.
A few good, strong match-ups and a bunch of unmet no-show verses- some of which would have laid down the groundwork for some fantastic battles.
The league has a shaky week 1 start, as per tradition, but I believe that the incorporation of new, more feasible deadlines, as well as enforcing voting rules will bring about a little more regularity and encourage more sign-ups. Look for the advent of champ matches for activity to really pick up.
Without further ado, here are the Reviews, Predictions, Power Ranks and Conclusions.
[Reviews]
Timeless vs. Ullr
[Split]
This was a really great battle, I feel like people undersell Timeless's verse because Ullr's overshadowed it. Ullr really brought his verse home in what I would say is hands down the best verse of the season thus far, though to be fair I did not read through all of the no-shows.
Timeless
[Adonis]
You went vague and abstract in my eyes. While this is not bad sometimes, if I can be blunt, sometimes it is. In this case you wrote something difficult to follow and tough to connect with. This was not a bad verse aesthetically per say, but as far as being able to decipher and follow; you fell short.
Ullr
[Adonis]
Wrote a topical about the sons left behind, fathers of war, the dead and the unappreciated or unrealized sacrifices and overlooked way of life, not realizing the cost paid, just living happily in the 'now-time'. Flow was solid as fuck I must say even if at points it grew stale, right around the corner was a change up that would quickly rectify this. I enjoyed from start to end, zero complaints in actuality, a rarity in this age. Thorough and to the point even if it was a bit hidden to those who don't actually head the words.
UnbornBuddha vs. Razah
[Split]
This match-up was very slept on. Razah had an unconventional and open dialogue with the reader that touched on a lot of crucial themes in the topic, without seeming contrived. UnbornBuddha had a well-built verse that had a poetic edge to it. Razah ended up taking this in a nail-biter.
UnbornBuddha
[Adonis]
You wrote about the connection of Mother Earth and her inhabitants. The American Aborigine do hold the gold in recent history in understanding and co-existing alongside our Mother. I loved the tale you weaved, the knowledge you gifted us is in tune with my beliefs. This is text book work in the literal sense, which to me is fucking awesome. I love reading and learning and enjoy your work to the fullest.
Razah
[Adonis]
Took the same concept but added one crucial element, the element of personal reflection and emotion. You did this discreetly and wisely. Went with a first person experience and reaction while essentially collabing with your counterpart. The overlying message of Indians holding a closer eye, in tune with her surroundings was key. You executed your topic just as Buddha did, only added that personal effect.
Ribbit vs. Tyson
[Split]
Strange clash, I didn't fully connect with either approach here. Both writers are in challenging match-ups this week, and I fully expect them to bring their A-game. Tyson proves his experience over Ribbit in a close win.
Ribbit
[Adonis]
Mispelled a lot in the opening bars, tough watching a butcher of a solid theme. “it'd a perfect apocalypse” What? It's very taxing for me to stay focused in paying close attention to context and plot while reading words that are not words. Strains the brain my man, not a fan. Spell check would clean this up enough to peak my intrigue. Are you 2triple???? I thought we got over these simple mistakes bro, elevate.
Tyson
[Adonis]
Yet another verse not so enjoyed. Not sure where to start here because the ending was less that and more the start of the middle??? All in all it wasn't awful and I think you could have won easily if you simply took the time to write, what? Three more bars and cap off the story in dramatic fashion. In any sense, I saw some rhyme schemes that jelled and worked and some that didn't. A bit all over the place, but as I said, not shabby. Just nothing Belt worthy even if completed.
No-Show Shine
Witty
[Adonis]
Wrote a tale of a prostitute, from the looks of the picture you kept it simple. A scared woman being used willingly, nightly to support rent and what not. But in the end you completely flipped the story. You captivated me as the reader with a short winded flow that rhymed well yet, explained so much pertaining to detail. It's almost as if you yourself is a male slut given all the particulars he threw at me, first person type writing. Very enjoyable.
Objective
[Adonis]
A story about a boy whose father is the local successful pimp. Through algorithms and trade he collects profit while condemning his father and reaping the benefits of the crown. At the same time he obtains none of it's negative warrants as he essentially rigged the system. Lyrically this was not perfect, but on a story-telling level, damn near so. You connected me with the photos entirety, explained in detail what the picture was and then spun it in the direction you wanted. A solid read that was enjoyed aside from the flow that was not bad, just not as buttoned up as I normally would prefer. Again, writing a solid story was the key here, and lock was picked, so the rest hits the way side in my mind.
Pinot Grij
[Adonis]
Nice stroke, penned a complete story that kept the finale in dim light while giving enough detail to wonder where I'm headed. I liked the... “rhyme style”? The choice to go with only two end rhymes through out the story is always intriguing because I try to pay close attention to repetitive phrasing and such, only this time I found myself paying more attention to the story's direction then the writers flaws. The ending scheme brought me back to juvenile/cash money era - “A nigga do a trick yeah, on the dick yeah. You claimin you want a picture, that ain't shit yeah” Minus the no-homo of course. Dope little keystyle, victory by default. Well deserved none the less.
Mr.J
[Adonis]
Nice flip in the end. Dug the concept of escape though. While you explained this well, I wish you had gone into a tad more depth of the real escape. I did love the “ads your self esteem is controlled by” line. A single line brought massive depth to this verse. A story about escape and the tomfoolery that follows. Enjoyed this inward view of a young soul enjoying his youth, yet as ADULTs, we look to him with disgust wrongfully. You explained the picture perfectly, and while you do this often, taking an “off the beaten path” approach now and again would be, well, different.
[Predictions]
Ribbit (0-1) vs. Mr. J (1-0)
[Split]
I see Mr. J taking this match easily. He was recently in the finals of the Martyrs tournament, posted a solid verse for Week 1 and a killer verse for Write Week, and generally did a fantastic job. Ribbit did not impress last week, but has a somewhat solid background in topicals.
Mr. J 75/25
UnbornBuddha (0-1) vs. Tyson (1-0)
[Split]
Good matchup. A Tyson win here would be an upset, in my opinion, despite what the record may show. Buddha is a behemoth when it comes to conceptual approaches, and quote topics serve him well. Tyson was relatively inactive until recently (the start of the season) and if he has any rust left to shake off, I think the comparatively more active voters will pick up on it.
UnbornBuddha 70/30
Asylum (0-0) vs. Rakontur (0-0)
[Split]
Good matchup of two fresh sign-ins. Rakontur is completely unknown, and Asylum has participated in several seasons, I believe? Maybe more recently. I'd put my money on Asylum based off of what I know of him as a writer.
Asylum 55/45
Innovator (0-1) vs. Razah (1-0) vs. Witty (1-0)
[Split]
Cool triple match-up here, unfortunately not by design. Witty and Razah had strong verses, and Innovator had a no-show loss that he redeemed through votes. I'm hesitant to call this any which way. Razah really impressed me with his writer's voice and his general diction, I'd say it was the most surprised I've been by a verse in quite a long time. Witty has some of his competitive drive back, and Innovator's been quite consistent for the past few weeks in other leagues. I am giving this one to Razah, however.
Razah 25/60/15
[Power Ranks]
1. Ullr
2. Razah
3. Mr. J
4. Pinot Grij
[Outrospection]
[Split]
Those who showed- good work, great verses all around. Let's keep up the voting & the competitve atmosphere, it'll do wonders for this league. A Q&A by Innovator will also hopefully be edited in soon! I'm out for the evening though. Happy writing.