Week 5: Silver vs. Objective (Objective wins)

[Vulgar]

LGPA Season 1: Week 5

Silver Objective


Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

Choose your topic from the Topic Thread.

Good luck.

[Objective]

I'm here!

[Objective]

They came storming in with new tech.
You know who,
it's the ones with orders.
To us they mean destruction,
to them - Freedom.
It's almost a parody of evolution how the paradox of motives and upbringing put us on completely different paths yet we meet in the middle on extreme opposites fighting to the death.
Realism makes no difference to reality no matter how much we try to shield ourselves from it.
We learned it the hard way.

http://img06.deviantart.net/30b2/i/2015/205/2/9/fallout_4_fanart_by_etwoo-d92lava.jpg

It was when they came storming in with new tech,
that the fate for our own was sealed.
We tried to shield our land, our wives and our kids,
to which the result was them at the frontline.
The future always lies with the kids,
always.
It's powerful,
isn't it?

http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2008/0804/grenade_rubinger.jpg

How the destruction of ones mind lead to the deaths of so many others.
Eternal hate and sorrow knows no age but the eyes that witnessed them and survived.

[Dope girl]

Eliza made her landing in the world, So hard she ploughed back to into the Earth. They caught by the thread of her one breath & pull her up
No one know how it held
& so today what higher will brought to her and family
Fight battles no matter what they got the power
All the struggle just 2 turned up to be dead All they thought all about is the thread is holding them now they are blessed with everything

[Woke]

V/ OB

I liked the snippet of emotion brought forth although I don't think this is what you were going for. But when kids are dying emotion is conveyed none the less. I liked the war aspect of a govournment, at least that's what I took. A people being slaughtered by Americans? Almost like the so called "devolved" Indians. Enjoyed it for what it was.
Silver on the other hand was short, and given it's lack of length still had simple grammatical errors.

[UnbornBuddha]

Objective: A presentation that speaks on the derailing of ideologies and what two opposing sides do to defend theirs, sacrificing their lives, and that of their kin, so as to uphold what's precious to them. Ironically, the two ideologies, in battle, look the same because the mind has become distorted and what they are fighting for is empty ideals. The execution of it was presented fine, and I especially liked the first stanza. The rest was decent, nothing too spectacular.

Silver: I'm glad you are participating, but if you wish to net some votes, my dear, you must get better at the basic tenets of the English language.

Vote:OB

[2tripple0]

Aye I got objective in this one as well. I enjoyed his use of pictures and found silvers a bit scatter brain....just didn't feel like a finished piece..I guess we both slacking in this league and I'm not sure what kind of advice I can give...This was a short and sweet battle but I've got to give it to my home bro objective

[Destroyer]

objective really utilized the multiple pictures well which was cool to see
silver, your story was cool, but kind of fell off at the end
I wanted to hear more about Eliza's struggle. the idea of a last breath as a physical thread was interesting, but should have fleshed it out more.

v/objective

[Inno]

Ueah im not gonna pretend anymore.

Vote objective.

Great writing my friend. Thought your effort this week was top notch
Very risky using 2 pics . Most times writers tend to leave out
The connection between the 2. But you manged to connect very well.
Emotionally charged with some dope imagery and diction to back it up.

Vote objective.