Week 6: Innovator vs. Destroyer - (Inno wins)

[Vulgar]

LGPA Season 1: Week 6

Innovator Destroyer


Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

Choose your topic from the Topic Thread.

Good luck.

[Inno]

In

[Destroyer]

yup

[Destroyer]

ext

[Inno]

Yep

[Inno]

Burning man

Call it a breeze of flames
Either way i got scorched the same
Loosing touch in the pain
Finger prints left to claim

Bloated skin eroded schemes
Lost in the plot, waiting to read
Writing's deceit
Burned to the touch
Writing decrees
Im just a poet with a muse
An artist lost in the hues
A hypocrite with a purpose
A martyr trying to shake his curses
Call me a saint.

[Destroyer]

http://pre07.deviantart.net/056d/th/pre/i/2015/191/0/5/into_the_dark_by_xcetera-d90t29e.jpg

it took centuries to find a way
while darkness persisted, even in day
and sadly when it was achieved
a way
to finally light up what's in front of me
it was to my chagrin to see
that nothing lay ahead of me

[Adonis]

Not sure where to go with this one. Des, I felt like the brevity could have played well to your concept, but it didn't. Just talking about the invention of light, that's what I took it as, using 6 lines just isn't something to write home about. Inno you wrote a short verse too, just not too short. I liked the direction and imagery and fitting in symbolism was smart, especially when it's subtle and about writing.

V/ inno.

[UnbornBuddha]

A nice little battle here. However, there's a clear winner here.

Innovator: You either about some type of martyr, perhaps the saint we alluded to, but maybe not in the religious sense, but at the artistic level, where creation requires a bit of suffering, so that creation can take place. A nice sense of mysticism here, but some of the writing and transitioning was clunky, be more selective with the way you transition to the next line, interconnect the dots better, if not the lines seem to be in conflict with each other, not in meaning, but in rhythm.

Destroyer: It was nice for what it was, to me, this represented someone being lost for a very long time, hoping for some resolution, light. But, when it came, they finally realized that the light they were hoping for did not save them from their darkness. Or perhaps, you did just write on the creation of light, juxtaposing it between the world of darkness. Nevertheless, I felt the approach was too straighforward, leaving little to the imagination, and for the reader to unravel. I mean that's part of the fun, leaving just a little for the reader to unravel, too much and it becomes tedious, but just the right amount and it becomes a challenge for the reader to see something beyond what the writer even saw when creating their portrait, their poetic manifesto.

Vote: Innovator