WEEK 7: Vulgar vs. UnbornBuddha - (Vulgar wins)

[Vulgar]

LGPA Season 1: Week 7

UnbornBuddha


Check ins: Tuesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

Specific narrator week: Write from the perspective of a witch.

Good luck.

[Vulgar]

in

[UnbornBuddha]

Hello Vulgar

[UnbornBuddha]

“The first time I was called a 'Witch' was the most magical moment of my life.”

The night sky looks clear today,
Heaven’s pathogenic influences veer away.
But, evil still steers my way-
Like a little itty bitty tick infiltrating the brain.
I can feel it drawing near, lurking; a lingering venom,
With the stench of Puritans whispering in fear.
I even get to hear the gallows being mentioned
Oh my, how the devout love attending hangings!
I guess, being sucked into the vacuum of vengeance
Gets their mind closer to the sanctum of transcendence.

They're afraid….that I’ll incite a hedonistic holocaust
The life’s blood of Alucard, ruler of pleasure’s boulevard.
Just because I believe something deeper in my heart
Something along the lines of,
Earth being a dust particle formed in the nuclear fusion of stars.
I urge you to see me close from afar
But, I can’t stop you from falling for holograms.
Though their no different than visions of a seer,
Or the religious tears spilled-
When the charlatan’s blood was smeared
By crucifixion spears.
What I practice isn’t sorcery,
It’s the rhythms of nature;
Don’t be afraid, let it inundate you.

I’m known by many malevolent epithets:
Scarlet letter bearer, the devil’s harlot, Christ’s death,
Luciferian princess with a mint scent skeleton breath,
And other several bad names denoting pestilence.
Even though I profess the omega, Nature.
I’m but one sense of its thousand apertures,
Infinite fractals within the multitude of cosmic spirals.
I, the white mage, am trying to comprehend…
Things like the disarray of our life’s structure
Before the connection to the supralunar ruptures.

I never did see any deity in my crystal ball,
All I saw was the desires in man’s vault;
They want to peer into my cauldron’s surface
To find ingredients such as the blood of virgins.
But, no, no, no! All I concoct has an herbal purpose
Coptis for herpes, scutelleria for bites of serpents….
Besides, I wouldn’t harm such persons-
All I care for is to be at the universe’s mercy.

[Vulgar]

From the Skin of My Witchy Witch Witch


I wring my hands behind me, casually, the ones tied up
to a deadwood post. Elevated on a makeshift throne
where the villagers intend to murder a gal like me
with a bit of displaced flame and hijacked psyche.
I weigh my options.
1) If I'm successfully roasted in Salem as planned
and I resurrect into the Black Realm, I can start
a DIY pet business raising Cerberus dogs
2) I can be a housekeeper of some sort for an ephemeral being
3) Every town needs a potion-maker, just like every war
needs a piston maker. The undead clientele listings...
Other options are muddled at the moment
as a brave young boy - look at his reddish curls
and executioner's posture, oh how adoring
Eyes like small silver flares as he drops a torch
into the pile of steaming wood

Crows look down on the scene from distant trees
Even they refrain from merciful looks
I could not be like them if I wanted to be
free to roam, peck corpses, appear somber
and catch worms; I do love a good hobby
Sharpening my agricultural techniques
for cultivating poisonous apples, or
forcing a child to eat their parents in the spring fauna
while I read a hearty tale from the book
of Nihilist's Hellfire Anthology

[Woke]

God - I liked this conceptually. You went deep with certain beliefs in astrology and painted a very clear picture of this lady, who sounds like a major hippie and I love her. No joke. Anyways, this week you not only told a story but brought me up close and personal into this hippies life. Your execution in terms of character build up this week is by far and away some of the best I've read in the past decade, no lie. It's tough to create a character from thin air, this is a forgotten art and I struggle with it or just forget about it while I write. You did this masterfully. I wish there was a bit more gore, but then it would be a different verse, but still, I love the sadistic imagery if you ever want to get my vote. In any case, this is a classic verse to me because you hit on all major points I view when deciding whether or not to vote for it.

Vulgarity - This verse is more along the lines of the darker side of life. Your subtle imagery of a burning women with out ever saying so was dope. You tiptoed around a burning and just wrote a story. The second verse was more background and the reason she was in this position. You know, I'm not sure if you have not been rhyming every week, but i just noticed I have not been noticing...makes no sense right? I mean I don't care whether or not you rhyme because your progression and story telling alone is captivating. You are swift with images, changing quickly to the ladies next sight. This was a dope first person view, the entire verse took place from a pair of eyes. Very good writing


This is a bitch to vote on, you both deserve a win. Two of my favorite verses by far this season.

v/vulgar

While I lauded God for having an amazing concept and some super dope character build up, Vulgar matched in all facets. The deciding reason I voted for Vulgar is that he wrote from first person perspective exclusively and still held my short attention span in a tight grasp

Very dope battle, will be BOTW easy

[Pharaohs Army]

Ugh. I hate this. And by 'this', I mean voting here. And also handing my good friend buddha a loss even tho he wrote something good. V/ vulgar
You both deserve props for these

i had glanced at buddha's before vulgar dropped. said to myself "how can he match this?", but i answered my own question, and said "he'll probably be a 'cleverly creative fuck'". Low and behold it happened.

so, i have looked at both fairly closely
Godcomplex/unbornbuddha,
-i'd probably vote for you if this was more of a traditional format and not a poetry thang. yours has good rhymes.
-i'd also probably vote for you if you cut out one part of this drop-- that being, most of the second stanza.
-i'd also probably vote for you if i was a shallow asshole who gives the tiebreakers to my friend.. but i'm pretty amazing; so i won't do that; and, i know you can "take it".
yours is good. didn't win tho, since i had to choose.

so, yet again, your own standards work against you because I saw 3/4s of yours as pretty damn great, while i thought the 2nd stanza could be drastically cut.
In fact, the start of the 3rd stanza kinda even rhymes with the end of the first...probably a self-reinforcing coincidence for the opinion i've formed.

The life’s blood of Alucard, ruler of pleasure’s boulevard.

What I practice isn’t sorcery,
It’s the rhythms of nature;

and probably, for the rhyme, keep
Don’t be afraid, let it inundate you.

^I like these lines in the 2nd stanza. Thought everything else "could go". Cut. (&could incorporate those lines i mentioned somehwere else)-- and you'd have a tighter succincter form of dopeness. You're 3rd stanza is very very good.

no disrespect to you my friend but personally i think*it might be better if you go straight from the 1st stanza and into the powerful 3rd.

supralunar ruptures
^if you weren't facing someone the likes of Vulgar you might win based on that alone

Vulgar,
your ending again is so strong-- stop cheating.
tbh, it's better than the first part, but they're both good.
in place of traditional rhyming you've incorporated high-level syllable matches.
i'm not quoting them here. if folks don't see them, those folks prolly suck, and need work.
loved a lot of them. the syllable-matchies. i like to do 'em too!

Speaking of succinct- this was "creative conceptually". < there's some feed.

give a little description of the executioner and crows too while you're at it.. bitch.

so yeah i like both of these, vote to vulgar in a very close1.

your 2nd stanza has that whimsical matter-of-fact sarcasm/humor which i gravitate towards:

free to roam, peck corpses, appear somber
and catch worms; I do love a good hobby

forcing a child to eat their parents in the spring fauna

Buddha has a bunch too. Amusing stuff.
Oh my, how the devout love attending hangings!

Luciferian princess with a mint scent skeleton breath

Coptis for herpes, scutelleria for bites of serpents….
(that area was also a v.good rhyming area)^

&Now I'll stop cuz I'm just kind of saturating compliments and quoting excerpts of shit that tickles my entertainment-bone rather than explaining the vote.. which i already did a bunch of.

[Inno]

Tought bout man.

I think ama go with buddha though. Im a sucker for a good story and buddha had that by the bundles. His character depth was just flawless and the pace of the plot. The great progression he showed. And thru all of that it never felt forces or faked. Smooth and natural.

Vulgar i really really like how free your verses are. Like the whole weighing your options part was just ingenious tbh llol. I love how you take risks every week. To there risks atleast lol, thats prolly why i admire your writing so much. Anyway i loved this and thoight this was prolly your best poem this week. Unfortunately....

Buddha dropped an amazing piece that i just keep goong back to and re reading. V wrote to his usual tier but i felt like buddha matched him and surpassed him by just enoughto get my vote. Botw man foreal