3am is my prime

[Bodey]

i've been chillin in crowds with pills in my mouth
to kick into my brain til i aint feelin an ouch
experienced on the low, i'm deterioratin slow
an inferior strength, i know. much eerier in the soul
a revolving door that shakes with each slip-up of a high
i'm probably awake but i've never felt alive
try and do what i'm told but i trip over my feet
dumb as a bowl filled with poison that i cant wait to eat
why is 3am my prime, creatively dispensed from my thumbs
i like being up at night,
it's like getting that clarity you never thought would come
it's like knowing a secret that no one else holds
i like being up at night though,
i'd stare at the ceiling back when i was 8-years old
listening to the sounds of the house
how the AC vents would breathe in and out
and if i listened extra hard enough,
i could hear the clock's tick-tock over Dad's snoring downstairs on the couch

[EtH]

This was alright for a quick piece. The first half seemed disconnected from the second half which tells me that you just opened word or something and started writing, as opposed to having an idea or concept in mind before you kicked off. The rhyming was alright but a couple of times I felt was too strong, such as the "strength" in inferior strength, I know. I get that you were mainly rhyming the first and last sounds but strength is too strong (ironic) a word to just be conjunctive in this instance.

You can obviously write based on this though. Keep posting.

[Exis]

I liked it...some of your multies were forced imo, seemed like you went searchin' and only found what would resonate with the reader...your emotion is always a highlight tho...Enjoyed It ;)

[dead man]

Everything from 8 years old on was great.

Could have springboarded something really special off that I think.

Thank you

[PancakeBrah]

Everything you write feels similar. It's always from your perspective, always depressed, purposefully rough around the edges striving for a woe-is-me-poetic-spirit vibe. This was probably the best piece I've read from you, specifically due to the ending like Black said. That had personality, and felt honest. The opening line was cool. Everything else I can live without. I think it'd be good for you to branch out, subject wise. Everything feels like a one minute doodle in a notebook no one will see. Try expressing your malaise through different, more creative means. Thanks for the read.

[Bodey]

Thanks for the feed guys. Definitely time to branch out. No wonder I've been so stuck