Contenders Match: Mr. J 4-1 vs. Nigma 2-1 [NIGMA 6-2]

[Adonis]

AOWL Season V, Week 8


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Monday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Tuesday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Thursday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Friday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=119848)

TOPIC:


in the hands of time

Good luck!


Mr. J Nigma

[Nigma]

How much you want...


32 lines?

[Mr. J]

Consider this my check..

[Nigma]

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Mr9MD3MkO9I/TXk6P_1j8II/AAAAAAAAAZs/fCIKHe_9oN4/s1600/Tempo+01.jpg

In the Hands of Time

Standing on a flat beach with a damp breeze from the Black Sea
Understanding there is past and also future thats still happening
Attack me with the gift of knowledge hidden from what man sees
Grasped by hands that turn these fashion scenes to trash antiques
Trapped between the tenses and they kept us where the path meets
But that breeze... This moment. Little things that result in winning
Freely standing, see my hands, get lost within them. Cogs are spinning
I glance and read the chapters as the ink attaches, bonds, imprinting
Fastening forever, set to speak the past of all existence
Saw what's written, I like to read. The day it's wisdom climbed in me,
The ticks been in my hands, its like there's lime disease inside of me
A plague and prize complete with the rise thats seen of a pilots seat
But theres no flight for me, I die confined to dreams and dormancy
A life of high achievments beaten by the fate all mortals see
I'm sleeping normal, snoring, but I'm seeing Z's that torment me
Stormed me at the beach and now they seek to breach in Normandy
I saw the playing scenes from birth and onwards in a sequence
Speak secrets accordingly to keep the masterminds obnoxious
The ticks which track our time, the greatest battle cry to walk with
The flash decayed to black and grey while pacified by clock ticks
Colours bland, it soothes more knots than groups of Mayan locksmiths
Struggle loose and start absorbing truth and blessed knowledge
Remember several lessons but the only one to boost me onwards is,
Stare at time too long, you will start ignoring the beauty beyond it
Last waking thoughts glued to my conscience, they chewed us with shots
The pilots parachuted causing air to move when they flew the cockpit
It cause a crazed panic, a wing detached from the frames chassis
The flames make a blackened pattern of where we came passing
I reach a certain peace inside my brain before we make a landing
It delays the bad and pulled my soul away to remain intact
Enjoyed the show, no regard for items that I'd take back
Resting in the hands of time, relaxing, black and grey ash
Life swarmed my eyes before dying in that plane crash

[Mr. J]

My theories are met with an execution, better yet...dismissal..
I am equipped to give you a rundown so bear with me will you..
time is to be cradled, time is not to taken lightly as life ensues..
each moment counts and it depends on what you decide to do.
whether the route suits you or doesn't is for fate to debate
with each breadcrumb you place, someone is there to take it away..
the opposite path, therefore time is lost when in a backtrack
and the state I'm in, I am no longer capable to say I can have that.
but that's a different story related to different topics & ideas
if I'm correct on this then I could end the moment right here..
I'll need half a minute to take a breath, gathering second winds
an alluring gaze, mesmerizing eyes, the hands beckon 'in'..
who am I to let that go..each desire branches off, different routes
each apple is poisonous, so does it matter what I'm grippin' now?
the allure is caressed, devoured, the mouth is drippin' now..
such exquisite taste, such beauty! I think to a distant howl..
the bell tolls for another life lost, and I swing on the pendulum
each second going by, I grow wiser while partaking in the requiem..
gone, in a distant world while the emotions grow further..
life is a bitch but the choices you make just don't concern her..
stumbling back down the rabbit hole I've become distant & rude
bear witness this is how another existence easily concludes...
taking the opposite only to be caught in an opposite parallel
winding back, ticked off over a dispute with cheating spouses
married in suburbia, white pickets, around some 'perfect' houses.
taken in at a early age when we began this whole ordeal..
the plot thickens, the grip becomes a face that shows no appeal
bearing a cross in a different pasture over different feelings
a different outlook in different moments, it's a bit revealing...
with each second that flies by, I don't understand life...
why is humanity based on choices that most don't stand by..
why not seize the seconds, grasp the moment, take the hour...
can you not see how doing those exact things gave us power?
each minute counts...I could never understand those lines...
until I saw the topic and thought...what happens...in the hands of time..

[Flow]

This was brilliant from both. A master class if you will.

Nigma came with an amazing flow and rhyme scheme. It was perfect imo though it got slightly choppier near the end. Just rolled off the tounge. The whole way you kept a constant and fluid reference to the clocks on the hands. Aaahhh i fucking loved this man. Props.

Mr.J. you took a lot more softly softlh catch the monkey subtle route with yours and while i just didnt enjoy your flow as much the theme and consistency throughout was class and something i felt nigma was missing when it came to a consistency of theme. Granted he was consistent in the clock references but the peice seemed less tied in and less directed then yours. This piece here was just fire. Loving the vocab and the subtle clock themed references.

the allure is caressed, devoured, the mouth is drippin' now..
such exquisite taste, such beauty! I think to a distant howl..
the bell tolls for another life lost, and I swing on the pendulum
each second going by, I grow wiser while partaking in the requiem..
gone, in a distant world while the emotions grow further..
life is a bitch but the choices you make just don't concern her..
stumbling back down the rabbit hole I've become distant & rude
bear witness this is how another existence easily concludes...

I dont know how much of this vote made sense guys im writing while sat in a mental asylum with the residents just chatting constantly to me so its hard to concentrate.

Anyway. Close battle but i vote

Nigma

[Adonis]

Jay - "Time is not to taken lately". Well I enjoyed the final concept I think you nonchalantly through character and action in this verse almost carelessly. This is not to be taken as I did not like the verse, because that is not true. What I mean is simple, why an apple? Who is the cheating spouse and in that moment the voice of the writer became an adopted youth. I get these are all examples of moments essentially, at least that's what I feel you were going for there, but there just has to be a better way to bring up characters and actions while being able to connect the reader to each person in some way. The end of this verse was a very nice touch, you brought the concept full circle and finished strong. You gave time a voice in the closer which is hard to do, just the thought alone is dope concept, and while you executed decently, this verse is not perfect. But, for what it is, conceptually/aesthetically/mechanically, highly enjoyable as you continued staking a claim for #1 in power rankings.

Nigma - "The flames make a blackened pattern of where we came passing" great use of visual. The opening was dope. I can see this soul or spirit, the dead guy, on the beach trying to explain how he is beyond earth and what he sees and experiences. You gave me strong visuals and created a voice, a character which drew me in and held my interest, like a soap opera, I want to know what comes next. You started this verse in the end, or middle, or beginning of the end, this is always a nice touch. If I have the time to read and catch that structure it pulls me in because it's instant action you know? I did not like the Normandy concept, not sure if I'm missing something, but it seemed tossed into the verse because it rhymed well only, missing significance to the plot. "Pulled my soul away" Given the context you gave me this very intense visual of a soul not exiting the body, but the body letting the soul go. That sentence doesn't do you justice, but the image would be a dope picture topic alone.


This is a tough vote indeed. You both showed why you are in the contenders match as I can safely assume these will each respectively be two of the better verses of the season. Nigma has only a few battles this season but is rising quick, while jay has been a constant, not rising, just, there. Solid battle, two very well written verses with equally dope concepts. I must vote Nigma though. He gave me a stronger connection to a character while painting some very vivid pictures with his words. Jay had a dope concept as well, he lacked in other aspects in which nigma shined, thus securing a close vote in a marquee battle in which you both did your damn thing

v/nigma

[Razah]

Nigma: Real solid flow. Your flow / rhyming was the best part to me. I think some internals, randomply placed, kind of threw it off at times but for the most part it was pretty slick. I also enjoyed your ending. I thought it wrapped up your verse pretty well. One thing that irked me was 'happening', I say that as 3 syllables, and I had to go back & say it as 2 syllables which was super weird for me. Lol. Anyways, it was a real good verse. Second verse I read from you, and your flow is probably the best part. Looking forward to having a battle with you. Good shit.

Mr. J: Now, we have the opposite. I actually enjoyed your verse more, as far as how you executed the topic. I thought in that aspect, it was more polished and better thought out than Nigma's. The weakest part to me in this verse was just how it read. It read okay, but it didn't come off as smooth.

Dope battle, but to sum it up, I thought Mr. J had a better take on the concept, not to say Nigma's take on it was bad, it was just better. Overall though, I enjoyed reading Nigma's verse more. Really smooth rhyming, it's appreciated.

vNigma

[UnbornBuddha]

This is a very hard vote.

Nigma: You have this knack for an enigmatic display of imagery that subtly hints at the subject as it unravels. Sometimes, I won't lie the lines seem to be more strange, in the sense of how it connects to the topic on a greater scale. For example, sometimes you throw in this references that are kind of out of place and while it adds ambiance to your piece, it also adds a sense of confusion to the reader. Nevertheless, this was a strong piece and it gave a sense of satisfaction upon finishing it. Strong visuals and great flow.

Mr J: This is the style you utilize when facing opponents that are more linguistically diverse. Thus, you sacrifice partially your really smooth flow you're known for in replace for content. Which, I don't think there is anything wrong with. Just an observation. I like the phrasing here more than Nigma's every line felt more impactful in a way. By the way, "life is a bitch but the choices you make just don't concern her" I felt this line was terrible and needs to be mentioned. Besides, that line everything else was enjoyed. Like I said this stylistic choice you undertake is more philosophical as well as thought provoking giving more for the reader to chew on.

In the end, I enjoyed this one more thoroughly.
Vote: Mr. J

[EtH]

Nigma - While Adonis felt you had a beginning, middle and and end, I saw a first part and second part. I felt the entire first part was filled with clock reference, and the second part was filled with plane crash references. I felt they seemed a little bit disconnected so for the first half of the verse I was thinking "Nothing's happening here?". I've gave you a hard time about rhyming in some other verses, but you got it down to a tee here. I instantly developed a proper rap flow like "Standing...on a flat beach...with a damp breeze...from the Black Sea...Understanding...there is past and also future thats still happening". I rapped it fast as fuck straight off the bat so for you to drive that home right off the bat was huge and really made me enjoy the lyrical side of the piece. Imagery and wording was also very well through out and prevalent throughout. EDIT: You do things off the bat apparently.

Mr J - Simple but effective throughout. You had the time metaphors going through and you used a lot of different topical techniques. Couple of syllable issues with the rhyming but nothing that really held you back or put you off. I feel limited though when reading pieces like this which has a sort of "preaching" approach. Where the protagonist is actually kind of you, Mr J, as opposed to being a character. As a result, there generally isn't a location, a plotline, anything like that. Usually it's about "points" and getting your views across. I feel like it's the difference between watching a speech and watching a movie. That being said it's a legitimate style and one I ironically used in the OM section the other day, but it's not something you can really be consumed and engulfed by.

Overall, this is a razor close battle. I felt that Nigma had the advantage lyrically and in flow, but because I didn't really put it together until the second half of his verse a lot of it was me reading back over lines to make sure I didn't miss anything so it got a bit staggered. Mr J on the other hand had me easily following him the entire time without stopping once, picking up all the references along the way. This all comes down to the writing style I like more, and I'm more of a fan of storytelling than anything else when it comes to topicals, which is why I vote the way I do.

MVGT - Nigma.

[timeless]

Nigmas slant rhymes didn't work, transitioning also needs work, hard to get into. Seen better from J but his craftsmanship was leagues ahead of nigma this week.

V. J

[YDK]

This was a cool battle, the story vs the concept piece.
Runnin short on time daughter has a Dr appointment sorry
But I felt nigma edged this because of the ending. Both had some hiccups in wording simples phrasing or flow but for the most part they were strong all the way through. It all really boiled down to entertainment for me and I feel nigma had the stronger more complete feeling at the end. Mr j probably would have beat the majority of of verses this week and if the ending would have been anything other than a reference to seeing the topic directly it would have beat nigma also but as it stands I gotta learn slightly to nigmas verse
Vote nigma

[2tripple0]

don't know I enjoyed both really but I thought nigma had the better overall verse here even though mr j came with an adequate verse for this league just thought nigma came together in the end better whereas mr j kinda missed a couple times here and there and some of his verse felt like stop and go yeah so for me this one goes to nigma

vote. nigma

[sral]

BATTLE THREADS CLOSE IN ROUGHLY 13 HOURS IF ANYONE ELSE WANTS TO VOTE *NEW SIGN-UPS IM LOOKING AT YOU!*
Kneeslap @Semantic Infiltration or w/e your name is LOL

[sral]

Nigma wins!