Godcomplex vs NYCSPITZ - GodComplex 4-0

[sral]

AOWL Season V, Week 9


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Monday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Tuesday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Thursday at 11:59 p.m. Western / or Friday 2:59 Am Eastern / 7:59AM UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here!

TOPIC:

http://webmobilize.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/melbourne-street-art14.jpg

Good luck!

Godcomplex NYCSPITZ

[NYCSPITZ]

follow my heart
I heard god calling
he said follow ur heart
just like u follow a dart
a dartboard could be your first love
so follow your heart
go to a bar and play darts, nigga...
-- follow ur heart.
I had ur girl on her knees she sucked and swallowed to start
then I told her -
stop hoeing it up...
follow ur heart.
I had a pen and pad
first rhyme i followed my heart
she got the heart on a leash, boy.
follow ur heart.

[UnbornBuddha]

"Visceral separation"

I’ve escaped my restraints,
The anatomical shackles made from your veins.
I wasn’t sure we could go through the structural change
And still be able to function as friends; an assumption I made
After the bond of our amalgamate conscious erased
Until, we hardly recognized we were once lovers aflame.
For god's sake, we spawned from the same ungodly terrain
Yet, we lost touch with each other that summery day.
The pace of events that day made me shudder and shake
Especially because you didn’t utter a name,
After your uncle closed the shutter and drapes
And consumed lustfully your scrumptious face,
While, you played along with a topless vague expression.
You were but a little girl, and yet you acknowledged his affection
It wasn’t until you were older; you began sobbing, sodden in depression.
You eventually convinced yourself you daydreamt a nightmare,
Psychologically the contents were deflected by ingesting cider,
Drinking enough of this infusion until you were senseless, idle.
Your wounded pericardium led to an irrepressible mental fire
Soon, spreading into every vessel of my settlement child,
Until, one day I couldn’t hold latent any more medicine files.

So, I decided to leave you,
And no longer harbor the contents you’re suppressing.
Alas,
I’m a transcendent made to believe in the concepts of perfection.
Each body part is alive and have concocted their own essence,
Sacred geometrical figures that show how complexity’s endless.
I, your heart spirit, am leaving,
It’s the only option for this awful pain to lessen.
So, goodbye, maybe one day we’ll meet again
Only this time with a deep intent to see an end.
Right now, we’re lovers who hate one another for something as plain
-As knowing that we don’t suffer the same bodily fate.

[Nigma]

Spitz, you're on the list of my most respected writers but no shows and low effort pieces are hurting the league man. Would love to see you drop a piece with time invested but if you can't commit to that might be better to sign out my dude. Appreciate you taking the time to write something but it didn't do much for me in all honesty.

Complex, cool piece, unique take on the picture. I thought the perspective you went with was a bit weird, the ex lover of a girl who was was sexually abused type of thing. I thought it woulda been cool if it was written from the perspective of her heart, thought that was where you were goin for a bit. Anyways, technically sound and the original angle was super fresh. Enjoyed this

+1 godcomplex

[Frank]

MVGT 2nd verse

NYCSPITZ came with a catchy chorus but was merely out matched by the superior effort of his opponent this week. I had originally matched these two up in hope of creating a heavily time consumingly deeply written lengthy read. All the elements were there, just a difference in focus and priorities. Quite disappointed in the real unborn buddah here.

MVGT; Godcomplex

[Razah]

Hmm. Felt like NYC didn't even write a verse, to be honest.

Unborn easily had the better verse here. The only thing I don't like about his writing, is the complexity. I'm all for being intelligent and actually using certain words correctly, but I also like to rap the verse I read out loud. I can't be rapping that shit. From the amount of syllables in the bar to the placement of the words. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but yeah.. anyways

vGodcomplex

[EtH]

NYC - I actually burst out laughing at "go to a bar and play darts nigga". That is all.

Godcomplex - One thing I said to Nigma too, try to avoid having a rhyme scheme last only 3 rhymes. Because basically in this text shit our minds perceive a bar as two lines, when a scheme lasts 3 it's almost like it's shot out of the sky when you switch it on the fourth. Interesting in doing a letter from the heart to the girl. I actually really didn't pick up on that in the early moments but it all came together what you meant at the end (similar to what I was talking to you in PMs about). Being able to read it, not get a part, but when I hit the twist my mind says "AHHHH so that's what that meant". You weren't too obvious with the topic either and kept it subtle. Rhyming was up and down. Very good in some parts but when you threw in words like fire mid idle / child scheme it threw me off. When your rhyming was on, your flow stayed on too though. A fairly solid drop overall.

MVGT - Follow Your Heart....I mean Godcomplex.