Week 10: Champion Nigma 4-1 vs. Razah 5-2 - NIGMA 4-2

[Adonis]

AOWL Season V, Week 10


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=119848)

TOPIC:
http://100.best-poems.net/dream-within-dream.html

Edgar Allan Poe – Dream Within a Dream


G/Luck

Nigma Razah

[Nigma]

Why is a Raven like a writing desk?

[Razah]

16-24.

[Nigma]

It shall be done

[Nigma]

https://s-media-***he-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7a/22/8d/7a228d7c45472ac2572ba76f6fc60e2b.jpg


"what was that you asked?

ah. yes. well,

night time is my time.
i start to see the target
eyes to the blind sky
hearkened to catharsis

i boarded in the doors, became a martyr in this darkness
sitting dormant and i'm pouring out my heart onto the parchment
when the chorus hits, i flourish. mixing marksmen with an artist
and i'm storing all the nourishment, you're sharp but i'm the smartest...
harboring the harvest while asleep to keep evolving rhythm, but
feelin blind today with the way my dreams have engulfed my vision
wheels of reeling splines the way it's blending in the fallen stitches
it's a feeling so refined that I pledged allegiance for all existence
it's my censor. shields me. i vent my feelings, absolved from living
all thats sick, demented, healed. suppressing fear for raw beginnings
on a mission and my logics endless, stencil in the scene for me
start my thesis, carve it to completion as the pieces meet
it's easy jotting images imprinted from a recent dream
trick is to contain them in your brain because they mean to leave
secrete into the sea of dreams as viscous masses of liquid matter
in time, i'll bring them back since the rings intact and it's a factor
the clouds arouse an inner passion as i sit within the blackness
these distant showers are timid actors reenacting the pitter-padder
i try to hide a smile but begin to laugh in mists of madness
you asked me what inspires me, consider this your answer"

-Edgar Allen Poe
March 3rd, 1833

[Razah]

"That my days have been a dream"

A 9 to 5 is such a fight like I'm battling with wealth
If I'm in the dark seeking light am I a shadow of myself
If I'm a silhouette, explain to me why my pillow's wet
I guess life is but an appetizer- Is it dinner yet?
What is too serene? Been losing sleep; plus the mood it brings
Doesn't soothe the beast, it lets me view the brink of lunacy
Still I'm chasing what enslaves me, its become my passion
How can money make me free- When it turned me to a captive
Replacing my desire, this is life, please don't save me from the fire
For the joy that I pursue I sing the blues, get acquainted with the choir
Bought myself an orchestra- instead of joy, it's a spear through my side
What could be beautiful music, can also bring a tear to my eye
This standard of living is driving me insane
I find joy in what it brings- as a stripper smiles through the pain
Working harder than I've ever been, I know my soul's malnourished
I knew money was the root of evil- but I chose to let it flourish

Value's but a word, not a feeling or emotion
Our life & death is blurred- still I pray for our devotion
Forever it's a chase- Forever we will fight for it
Never ending yet we race, joy does not derive from it
I see your soul but just a glimpse, a part of it is dark
I wonder if you'll take the risk, search deep inside your heart
It's a path we haven't walked, but it's life that gives us hope
I need your consciousness to wake up, we've been sleeping since we woke..

[Spoken]

Wow no votes yet??

Nigma- the content u put on every verse ceases to amaze bruh. It wud seem out of okace in text but when u vibin wit it... bruh it goes subtlely HAM lol. The take on the came surreal cause u wrote almost like edgar allan poe. Portrait of himself in your writing. Some nicks here and there that doesnt fit the description but u pulled it off to say none the less. I lovd the percption and the diction u steered and it stayed like ... honestly... if I wanted to hear this in audio id have loaded lux read it bruh.. perfect swag to this spoken word delivery. None the less my brother I cant complain this was nice.

Razah- honestly I dont kno who u are.. but I like the way u vhose to bend ur approach in wording. The shprt then extended lines making it still to read along with bruh. Dope. I liked the phrases u kept interjecting in questioning life itself. Nigma went deep into the emotion while u correlate ur approach to coincide with the readers to feel what u feel. Thats a task hard withij itsekf and I must say u did it fairly consistent fam. Ur vibe in this was on point and it never let me done.


People need to read up on this champ match cause both came dope honestly. Read thoroughly and fuck the negatives speak on what they did for u with there writing. So with this battle the way I judge thing is the posotives I dont let the negatives be the reason. So whose verse did more for me I have to say......


V/ Nigma

[NYCSPITZ]

Ayo this was a cool battle.

Nigma stepped his shit up a lil bit. I liked how crisp his writing was and thought it was a dope edpoe imitation. If it was an imitate poe assignment for class, it surely would've received an A (although to be sure there would be mad ricantheoriez in his class too). I thought the phrasing was delicate and a very strong simulacrum of the original author's energy vibe. I thought the shit was pitter-patter not pitter padder that shit sounded 3rd grade to me but other than that it was dope.

Razah cool shit here bruh. I thought you got outclassed here though. Nigma's writing was noticeably more complex and subtle, but you had some dope concepts in here. I just wasn't feeling the glib manner in which you delivered some of the lines, like the is it dinner line and others. Just has a rushed and blase quality to it that could be fixed with a bit more thought and subtlety. For a first read though, you've made a fan of me. I believe in you, keep doing it.

V/ Nigma

[Frank]

Nigma
Solid..... I was fond of the lay out of this verse. Championship caliber display. Well done..... I wasn't completely impressed with the actually verse itself. Sure it was OK but nothing wowed me about it. There wasn't any flashes of brilliance for me..Now I have beaten you plenty of times so take what I tell you with a grain of salt... You can write better then this. A lot of people judge verses by constantly comparing them to previous ones. I don't do that. I believe in progression and the future is unwritten. These are not preconceived thoughts. I thought you played it safe in this verse, content wise. Or maybe you thought this was profound. I don't know. Your flow began picking up in the latter bit but it wasn't ground breaking. You are in the championship match. I won't lollygag. I think that while the verse was aesthetically pleasing, the subject matter wasn't anything special. Mr. Poe would be rolling in his grave. ROFLMAO joke. I'm sure he would be proud of you kid.

Razah
Intoxicatingly poetic...You posed quite a few questions and made me reflect in my own sort of way, allowing me to put the puzzles together in my third eye. First time reading your stuff. A satisfying debut...Dreamy, I vibed with the writers voice - it came off like a poem from a pastor.....Had this martin luther king positive type of vibe to it. I thought that the last line put the piece on another level.

I got Razah with a dreamier verse dethroning the current champion

Ultimately came down to who I thought Edgar Allen Poe would have enjoyed more

[e11even]

Jigga mah nigma- I was floating through this wonderful maze of language. This is the more refined venture I usually embark on when I attempt to write, but this wasn't any attempt of mine. You did exceptionally well with Picasso-ing a Poe-ish piece and it was almost like a more drawn out version of his likeness. Some rhymes felt a little off on ends, but it barely blemished the whole of this work. Good job.

Mayjah razah- this piece felt how I feel when I'm in my moods. This was nice and pretty neatly worded. Toward the end (last three lines) it simplified... I'm guessing for closing purposes, but I liked the appetizer silhouette metaphor pairs and phrasing in the beginning. I don't know you nor have I seen your work, but I think I'll like more of what you do in the future. Good job bro.

I liked both. NIGMA had the VividlyVague thing going on and razah tailored more to the real world me. For ease and relatability (although relation to the subject was lesser) MVGT RAZAH

[UnbornBuddha]

These were both dandy. I thought Nigma's embodiment of Poe and resonating with the shadow realm of Poe's dark enigma was quite magnificent. I enjoyed the spectacle thoroughly and while the content itself was not as riveting as say that of Razah's, the language, and the subtleties transcended the heart mirror from which the pieces were reflected from, going into spatial bounds were one has the potential to harness the artist's full creative potential, bravo, one of the best verses of this season.

Razah also came with something special, something reflective and well-worded. Albeit, I sometimes would like to see you challenge yourself more so, simply because you always write short length expositions, while fine especially when matched, on occasion it is nice to see the full development of something more lengthy, where the journey unravels on a more fulfilling note. I realize a lot of people don't like reading or maybe even writing long length expressions, but it is in them one can qualify something beyond a 16 bar verse, or something akin to it. Well done, though, I enjoyed it, but still felt Nigma's channeling of Poe here was a joy to watch, truly haunting ending.

Vote: Nigma

[Adonis]

3-2 nig rise

Good battle

[Flow]

Both came with a solid drop here that did all justice.

Nigma... well that shit was just sexual. My dick hardened with every line and i began to feel a strong urge to lick the screen. That shit flowed effortlessly and was so vivid in places and yet so sure of itself. Just top class shit.

Razah you came with a solid verse but it lacked personality and certainly my dick was only semi as i was still recovering from nigmas orgasam on a page. It felt as if you had wrote to the line before it always playing catch up on the bigger picture.

The opening 4 lines by Nigma were fucking killer.

Vote nigma

[sral]

4-2 Nigma WINS!