YDK 3-2 vs. NYCSPITZ 2-1 - NYC 4-0

[Adonis]

AOWL Season V, Week 10


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=119848)



Topic: http://100.best-poems.net/i-know-why-caged-bird-sings.html

Maya Angelou – I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings


G/Luck

NYCSPITZ YDK

[YDK]

Dopeness
Rematch finally lol
Good luck bro

[NYCSPITZ]

gl brah

[YDK]

Blah blah blah
Hfcsbtfv
Dfhtvfd
Fghrfv
Fhrdbu
Vgrsarh
Hkoyfs
Gjhdsy
Vjudzd
Chgxdv

[NYCSPITZ]

i'm gonna write after i get back from my salsa class around 10pm EST so I really hope u edit that

[NYCSPITZ]

I knew this cat in seventh grade, we called him hey-mar blinks
in knowing him I understood why a caged bird sings
he lived in a project by school...just up Columbus a little
nicklebags and slapboxing's how we'd rumble and fiddle
our fights had their share of bruises, scrapes, and tumbled dismissals
but through it all we always shared our favorite lunches and vittles.
All around us were peers, parents and strangers - disgusted assessors
I look back on it now that I'm this well-adjusted professor...
I'm suave and debonair now, and I think I owe it to hey-mar blinks
If only he still...
aww, fuck it. At least he taught me why a caged bird sings --
New York was still pretty bad then. You'd always hear the sirens like nothing
way before these Williamsburg, Harlem, Inwood etc. gentrifiers and yuppies
When one day blinks uttered an odd shriek from his throat (it might've been nothing)
but being on tenuous terms...I took it as a battle cry and I decided to snuff him
He fell and I took his fitted in my palm, when he rose and took his hat right back
face beet red and trembling - I swear I never saw him snap like that
I ran with a pounding heart straight out the playground past 2 fat lady security guards
Blinks right on my heels, almost overtaking my furious start...
When I lost him, I used my sole dollar to get two barrel waters and two bags of cheez-o's
He met me leaning aginst the door with his arms and legs closed -
then smiled and told me "what the fuck faggot, where's the lime kegs and fritos"?
We laughed it off and awkwardly didn't mention it like the pariahs we were
When a police car screeched to the crub - "WHY AREN'T YOU IN SCHOOL";
we decidedly swerved. Ran across the street to central park feeling the cool May breeze
fuck it yo, we were bosses - we had the school day free.
After a while we passed his projects under a doomsday tension - I'd never seen it before
We buzzed in past fiends, roaches, piss and mad Jesus decor
He seemed melancholy, and as he went to reach and open the door
She appeared wild haired and bug eyed, staring at both of us - "MOSES LENOR!!!"
"YOU'RE THE WORST STUPID PIECE OF TURD THAT I COULD HOPE TO ABHOR"
"TELL YOUR FRIEND HE CAN'T EAT OUTTA THE FRIDGE...AND DON'T LEAVE OPEN THE DOOR!!!"
We quickled scuffled into his room and played the nintendo Moses pawned off his bro
it was some old school shit...I think it might've been sonic, or mario bros.
We were deep in levels and the awkwardness of our entranced had started to dissipate
when we both heard a scream - some blood curling shit that I hardly could imitate
so we ran to the kitchen and saw his mom, fighting with her crack fiend boo
a pipe in his hands...he broke her cheek and gave her cracked knees too
So I froze, and hey-mar ran fearlessly into the thick of it all
I was shocked - a paranoid recluse up in the midst of a brawl.
When the man grabbed hey-mar by the collar and screamed "I'LL BREAK YOU TOO BITCH"
and threw him against the window grate - not knowing he'd break the new hinge.
So as Moses Len-...as the boy fell from floor twelve known as hey-mar blinks
I fought back tears - understanding why a caged bird sings.

[Adonis]

YDK

Closing your battle as soon as I wake up bro

[YDK]

The caged bird sings like enraged 13 year olds locked away
Screaming at walls, grounded cuz they couldn't keep the pot away
Not afraid, apathetic, anarchy hoodies and an attitude
Absolutely obsessed with anger, averages, and inaptitude
Gratitude? Great! Get a front row seat
To the drama that they've driven into a house they won't leave.
With a mouth they won't feed because they want to fit in
With the crowd, and the clothes, and the child within.
It's wild; a whim, is all it really takes for
A child to sin, "grow up" and decide that they hate more
Common customs, created by the same "class"
In the middle, to move up, they gotta break glass
Cast stones from within, no matter the house
Because a caged bird's only heard
When they finally break out.

[Razah]

Hmm. I liked how YDK ended his verse. Short & sweet. The alliteration was pretty cool, and you kept a solid rhyme scheme through out. It also feels rushed. Kind of like you just wrote something quick to end up not no-showing. Either way, I rather see a battle then have another no show in the league.

NYC- The story on this was pretty cool. It was simple lines that brought forth so much more to me. Simple shit, like the slap boxing- Like yeahh, I remember being on that shit. Stuff like that made it stand out to me, I guess it made it able for me to relate. The rhyming was cool, nothing really too impressive but solid nonetheless. The only issues I had was the wording of certain things, to make 'em rhyme like:

"AND DON'T LEAVE OPEN THE DOOR"

"as the boy fell from floor twelve"

It just came out weird. I wouldn't say that shit like that, and I felt like you just did it to keep the rhyming going, and throw an internal in there.

So, yeah. I feel like YDK's verse was rushed and I felt like he could've won if he had gone a little longer. NYC's verse was cool, the story of it made it better for me. Im'a have to vote for him.

v-NYCSPITZ

[Frank]

NYCSPITZ

Gutter with a gift of gab. The mid sentence parallel of hood description and edumacated diction was distinctly original. Story was straight up New York Nas-like story telling. This verse would still resonate with someone from out of state cause of its appeal that's just so real. Like I said, the back and forth between slang-like lingo and sophisticated vocabulary was dope here. Classic ghetto shit. Verse was like Sundance Slumdog

YDK

YDK is either keen on winning the First Ever Netcees 12-14 line Topical Tournament or he thought NYCSPITZ wasn't going to post. Poor excuse bro. Always assume your opponent is writing the verse that is going to destroy your topical career. This blurb of a verse could've been a finals in the First Ever Netcees 12-14 line Topical Tournament. I would be interested in reading a big boy verse from you. 34-44 lines

MVGT NYCSPITZ

[Mr. J]

NYCSPITZ should have a disclaimer attached saying he doesn't take this lightly
dudes a beast has been around since the dawning of life's ass-crack and writes dope when he wants
for awhile I used to think him & Vulgar were the same person had Vulgar loved Jordan's & such
either way I feel like your verse is packed with what makes most topicals worth reading
not your best work but you seem to have kept your stride in this and kept my attention throughout the verse
very smooth work regardless, a monster of a verse that I was not expecting....

YDK I don't know what you were thinking maybe you were strapped for time idk
regardless I feel like if your focus were in the right area you may have kept this close
your opponent came ready for a battle & really has a grasp on a majority of topical mechanics
you arent a slouch yourself but this time around it seems I may have misjudged
I like your verse but it would have been better had it been more fleshed out
either way good job showing up with a decent showing of a verse

vNYCSPITZ I would have enjoyed seeing this battle be much closer than it was
but I dont know what happened regardless I feel like NYC came with an all around stronger verse
dope battle fellas nice showing by the way NYC

[EtH]

NYCSPITZ - Three things. First, that name is forced as fuck to rhyme with "caged bird sings". Two, this is the words of a well-adjusted professor?. Three, I still don't know why a caged bird sings.

EDIT: Wait I was sure I wrote more in NYC's bit. Sorry mate. Anyways, I actually found it very easy to picture everything. Maybe I'm just in that mood or maybe you made it subtle with your imagery. Not sure. But I was right there none the less. You had some solid substance in there but I felt a couple of things just didn't click. Like what's the relevance of you being a professor now? Did this incident make you a professor? Couple of things didn't really resonate but the rhyming style, flow and overall storytelling and picture was there for me. I'd prefer to see a bit less of a "hood" writing style next time though.

YDK:- When I first read this, I swear I read it like it's a fucking haiku.

Dopeness
Rematch finally
Good luck bro

Anyways...interesting little drop. You're easily my favourite topical writer to read from cause none of it is fancy. I don't miss the point. The rhyming isn't off. The flow isn't struggled. Just easy verses to read and enjoy. Obviously, you didn't expect to win this. You thought he'd no show, took a chance and it didnt pay off so you rushed something so votes could defo come in.

Overall, as a result of the few lines I just said, there's only really one winner. I'd have seen it going the other way though if YDK put some time in.

MVGT - NYCSPITZ, good to read from you again btw.

[Adonis]

NYC ghost

4-0