2triple0 vs JESODIST - JESODIST 4-0

[sral]

AOWL Season V, Week 12


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 p.m. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles and post links/ references in the voting thread.

Read the full rules here!




Topic: Paradise was made for tender hearts; hell, for loveless hearts.
Voltaire

2tripple0JESODIST

[2tripple0]

in this

[JESODIST]

A LOVELESS HEART IN HELL

I sit in Silent wanting to kill a Filthy Tyrant, stab him in the Rib with Tridents,
All i think is Violence, swat teams officer down crying louder than Sixty Sirens,
Serving a Hated and Hellish Cause, Relics Blast to Revive Freddy an Jason's Boss,
Blades and Saws sever and Serrade your Parts to be Flamed in Sauce,
My Greatest Tast is to watch you Fail not Last, My will is to Break your Ass,
place designed to Punish Souls, burning those Ugly Trolls with Ogrish Goals,
I'll engage in the Occult and Sorcery Till the day you Remain Frozen in a Mortuary,
Forever Tenative Crowned in Purgatory The Negative World is my Laboratory,
Train Recruits for Satanic rituals where being Cold is Mandatory,
So Shatter and Darken the Walls of Glory, Anarchiatic Fallen Gods Adore Me,
A Surely Murderous individual who will Hack you Valiant Heart so Horribly,
Wickedely formulating Abominable Shit, Splitting Souls the Darkest Phenom,
Open Portals to a Paranormal Abyss, Demons commence Apocalypse and Armageddon,
Experiment on Local Addicts, Stripping their Throats with a Mixture of Crack and Venom,
I manifest in Nontangible ways, Supernatural Race Blazing in Paths Uncharted,
Beyond the Astral and Greys, Lost track and Date to when the Madness Started,
A Thorn of Wrath and Sin, Blatant Power, Shackled by Jesus,
My love is Gone with the Wind, Satan will Recover all the Sharpnel and Pieces,
Antromorphic Demonic Entity with a Formless Density Bombing with Atomic Energy,
Pathologic Enemy, preping to comit a Psychotic Felony,
The Sire of Hornets Inspired by Omens Dispersing Fiery Torments,
Awaiting Patiently, I don't need to hear the words in a Satan in a Song,
to Understand Blatantly that this is the place Where i Belong,
Can it be saved? the question, your response? Maybe; but you're Wrong...

THOUGHTS OF A LOVING HEART IN PARADISE

The Father of All Creation, Distilling Godly Affection causing Warm Sensations,
Who would never plan Vengance to Starve the Nations,
I Breath in the Mist living within a Feeling of Bliss,
Shielded by God Himself, If you try to Hit Me you Miss,
An Auspicious Holy Soul who's Meticulous Knows the Source,
Can Of Course Cure any Sickness, Creating Potions mixing more than a Dozen Herbs,
Guiding angelic creatures with a physical surrounded by floating Golden Orbs,
I speak the language of the Proven Lord who Owns the Birds,
To disperse Hell's army along with the Bronzen Swords,
I don't engage in harmful practices that have to deal with Physical Carnage,
Instead Seek A new beginning through Spiritual Bondade,
Feeling Enthusiastic after Reading Ecclesiates,
A Cool Artist in Tune with the Harpist spreading the Monist Truth like Psamist,
Walking a Straight path accustomed to always being Truthfull and Honest,
Fruit of the Modest, Praying for those unrepented souls that are Soon to Vanish,
Endevour Omish My acts are Clever an Lavish with a Glaze that will Never Tarnish,
Hold my hand so i can Liberate you from all the Ogrish Wrath an Suffering,
and Take you to a place where a Loving God is Towering,
I am like a Reverent Blessing people in a Parish Hall,
Always here to pick up Residents eventhough they Fall and Fall,
Imploring for Glory and Excellence, Reversing the Devil plot to Banish All...

[2tripple0]

will drop later tonight or tomorrow depending on whats going on

[2tripple0]

its exquisite, straight out the testament.
keep more tools to screw the bolts in like a wrench.
the bible from front to back don't need a preacher.
mind readers keeping it hot death succumbs this birdfeeder
there aint nothing to rhymes. never find the writeous confessing.
don't bother with texas. they out serving two death sentences.
theres beef on the street and that bothers many characters.
its funny how amateurs constantly upheave beyond these pastures.
when peace goes to war they keeping all the soldiers smoked out
you be planting shit its funny putting a seed in the ground
and they so the same thing when people die as if they about to rot
but when death roll through people acting faker than some o'tools
and even drinkers have a last call even if their guts fall out they belly
whack as nelly is it hot in hurr? bitch you like a girl named wendys
and now im caught up in a rut got butterflies in my stomach
patience takes time and you just heating up my dinner in the oven
gonna try and make something out of this until the bitter end
does it make sense or like most people do you find me illiterate
i know that time passes slowly but hate that life is so short
you be thinking you some king but forgive me for riding a high horse
ive got to forget so that my passion in this piece stays consistent
even if it isn't you could start a fire but im defying ya resistance
ive got to find a way to proceed because it seems im falling behind
im like slavery to blacks running for their freedom from the whites
i wish that was the end but ya life is something that i gotta end
still wishing like a well but all my life my money been well spent
with friends and suspend you in suspense like a horror film
soft as silk i be like a cow way i got ya sucking my nipples for milk
hate to propel but ya gotta realize that death is lurking
i watch those close to me cause my heaven gold like some sterling
whereas hell could mean an everlasting battle with the devil
ill melt my enemies like some black smith burning that metal
tell me you understand but i gotta prepare for the afterlife
ill presume this verse effective for a second but you already died
and it was only ya first time you started trying to rhyme....
so let the audience decide cuz in the mean time like sublime..
ill be doing time whether im in heaven or hell
but for now hunger made a stop for some food at a seven eleven

[Mr. J]

I had to take in this battle after a day or two whenever it opened...
and I have to say 2tripple0, you impress me by not impressing me
I dont know what it is you are going for most of the time but maybe I see it
its as if you captured an imperfect beauty and incorporated into your thought process
some sort of defunct malfunction that makes me want to slap you and hug you all at once
regardless I feel as though you are improving into your own little Pokemon.
I dont understand what you thought coming into this battle but you bring in a sense of confidence
you out wrote your average self and showcased your speed this time around though
and people appreciate the spirit that you bring to the table, so ... I applaud you son
I wish you would focus a bit more next time & hopefully you will slay opponents such as JESODIST
until then Im afraid Im going to have to give this to JESODIST for the superior verse


godspeed 2tripple0



godspeed
















v/JESODIST

[Nigma]

Jeso, it's nice to see you competing old friend. It's been a long time. When I think of your writing what comes to mind is that generic style you used to post over and over again which got very dull to me however this topic suited you well and you wrote to it well. It was a good call with the two verse approach as the reader knew exactly what to expect after the first verse and you delivered. This was well written sir, hope you stick around.

2000, a bit of a different approach for you. Still the same outcome of the verse. You went with rhyming couplets but still wrote as if you weren't sure how you wanted the outcome to be. Felt on topic in brief flashed but then off topic for the majority of the time. You ever referred to writing the verse in a line. Completely opposite of what you want to do. Get in the mind of a character or something man. Gotta try something new!

One sided affair here in my eyes

+1 Jesodist

[Frank]

JESODIST
Epicness, Perilous play on words throughout this. That style you use resonates - Everybody would write like this in the AOL chatrooms/E Z boards era. Dudes like DaDirty Certain. Heavy on the mythology, multies in caps, horrorcore. Pure carnage. Halloween typa topical

2triple0
Brilliant idea, commenting on your piece within the topical - I just want to know more about the Wendy Character. Wendy likes to appear in your pieces, she has appeared in many of your finest works. You are in your element whenever Wendy is around. Why do you always mention this Wendy? Who is she to you? Your mummy, perhaps?

Truly epic battle,

MVGT JESODIST

[Flow]

Hot in hurrr wendy aspect was total fire....


Anyways. Dude. 2trip.Wtf. Other then that line which was just amazing for all the wrong reasons you seem to be getting worse. Or not improving at all. I mean what is the topic and where is the direction. What was the general idea or vision you were trying to portray. What was the point in reading this? If your going to just write off a whim and make bollocks all sense i sugggest getting lots of intricate rhymes in there because for the most part this was just end rhymes at its most basic.

Vote the other guy