Week 16: Vulgar vs. Godcomplex - (Vulgar)

[Vulgar]

LGPA Season 1: Week 16

Godcomplex

Every match from last week will be a rematch since the voting has been a bit slow. Two battles ended in a tie, and YDK and Frank are slated to rematch as well.

Check ins: Thursday (Midnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Friday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:

Topic thread.


Good luck.

[Vulgar]

Check.

[UnbornBuddha]

Round two.

[Vulgar]

Ext

[UnbornBuddha]

sure

[Vulgar]

Ophelia Springs


Prior to diving head-first into a cold lake,
I could see an underwater dance recital playing out
beneath the surface waters
and felt like a detached father who could not attend
To see his daughter play the invisible violin with her pale, slender legs
nebulous, marble cotton candy cloudscapes disappearing
as a hydrophonic world was entered
always there; stored below a deep beige-blue oasis

The glass window pane was practically a Pacific ocean
such was the body of separation between kinship
Navy Captain away on duty, Capt. Frank Delagucci
Little Tina Delagucci with her soft hands on the balance bar
pointed toes, sniffling nose, swaying with the cadres
of other girls who played ballet with their hollowed out father figures
Her father lingered where the tide of water reflects light
she noted the ripples of her dress
and wondered if submarine forests
could carry the same amount of elegance
Maintain a proper nosedive into the sweet opaque sanctuaries:
Womanhood



http://img05.deviantart.net/aa0e/i/2015/281/8/3/the_trial_by_ahermin-d9ccc0u.jpg

[UnbornBuddha]

http://img11.deviantart.net/5da5/i/2015/285/b/6/lightning_coursing_through_my_veins_by_thefoxandth eraven-d9cwsx9.jpg

It seared my flesh like a chemical burn,
An energy burst filled with agony.
My body temperature rises,
A high fever is on the horizon;
Excruciating pain,
The likes of which I never thought possible follows.
Uncle Ben,
Am I dying from infection or from sorrow?
The site of injury pulsates demonic cries,
Every frailty in my subconscious dies
As I exert every strength to survive the night.
The ill and ailing want to speed up time,
The present moment is devised to torture their mind;
Or at least it seems like it's releasing every disorder inside.
But, I must make it through and endure
I can feel myself transforming biologically pure.

Next morning, my short sighted vision is clear
I can see it now, suffering has disappeared.
At least, the suffering of my own inadequacy to react,
My every synapse has been reanimated, recalibrated
Altering the reflexes reflected by my hands.
I’ve become something else, and I don’t know what.
My former world has fallen into dissonance,
I know this because my spidey senses started tingling.

[Woke]

First off vulgar, I rhyme because I write what comes out, that is how my mind is wired. Second off, the imagery you are painting early on is ridiculously strong. From cotton candy clouds to the glass pane of the pacific, some extremely powerful description that will linger in my mind the rest of the day, no joke. This was a very poetical and imaginative verse, very bold choice of words that strike hard and true, leaving a searing image in the ol' noggin. Top notch read this week my friend, sincerely.

God, you wrote a decent verse with good execution and solid imagery, The problem is your verse is more comical then Vulgar which makes it seem less in my mind. I enjoyed some of the wording, dug the concept, but in comparison I just think you chose the wrong week to write a not so serious concept.

v/Vulgar

He had the better writing overall

[Vulgar]

Vulgar wins 1-0.