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View Full Version : Week 13: Champion EtH 4-0 vs. Godcomplex 8-3 - ETH WINS 6-1


Adonis
10-17-2015, 11:52 PM
AOWL Season V, Week 13


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
Tuesday at 9 P.M. Pacific/West Coast or Tuesday 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM Wednesday Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=119848)

Topic:
http://i.imgur.com/p8Ckdp5.jpg


G/Luck

Godcomplex

EtH - Congrats on the first person ever to sign up and not lose all the way to the belt.

EtH
10-18-2015, 01:12 PM
The artist, the painter, he never wanted this devotion
He paints using pain, but now exhausted this emotion
He’s scrawled the renaissance and sketched industrial revolutions
But nothing ever changes, that’s the trouble with evolution
He’s tried to sculpt smiles, but there’s a sort of consumption
Behind every smiling face lies war and corruption
Forced grins wipe across his animate effigies
Tearing each canvas aggressively, it’s been tragic for centuries
Sadness the recipe, now it seems he has lost hope
Bristles in blue ink, he brushes in broad strokes
He wants colourful characters who breathe compassion
But his picturesque landscapes are ravaged by disease and famine
Each manifestation is shaken by this miserable curse
Is it inside him? An internal inferno with a visceral thirst?
Perhaps the only reason he works, is cause he’s felt depression
Making pictures and sculptures out of self-expression
If his feelings are left living in this hell, everything would melt
Maybe he assembles his art in the image of himself
Each piece with a purpose of releasing his frustration
And the worst part about it…it’s us, we are his creations.

UnbornBuddha
10-20-2015, 02:08 AM
Art never comes from happiness

Just look at them below, they look like ants from this distance.
None of them have ever comprehended my artistic vision,
My genius; that I singlehandedly crafted from volition.
A blasphemous mystic having a religious experience
Depicting the sacrilegious appearance of New York.
I saw splendor in the venom,
Like a lung cancer patient addicted to Newports.
The malaise is all too surreal,
Being regarded a starving artist in a subpar field.
Yet this time, media caught eye of my ordeal
I won’t be overlooked anymore,
Everyone will watch as my blood pollutes the floor.
I can see my mother watching, salute the whore
And the rest of the manic screaming frantic women.
I’ll like to be remembered in a romantic image
Perhaps be held as a tantric symbol,
Purifying others through his fallen spirit.
Posthumously I wish to inspire fine art in all the living.

Van Gogh cuts his ear off making himself a legend.
I’m at the edge,
Closing the gap between myself and heaven;
I could hear some sadists cheering me on,
As I get closer to the metatheory beyond.
Vicariously paint yours and my Magnus opus in blood
A picture worth a thousand phantoms moaning in lust.
“Don’t jump!” A nonbeliever exclaims,
Tsk, I’m here to show you life’s true secret, its pain;
So you'll fathom why my work was equal to greats
Of past and present, time’s infancy to adolescence.
Magnificence, I’ve grasped its tenets. I see this planet destined
To bear witness to the emergence of an emblematic new savior;
One that influences via his erratic behavior; the malignant heart.
I’ll go as far, as chiseling my soul in agony just to depict my art
Then leave the scars oozing to scab over my inflicted thoughts.
One has to wonder what drives a man to the brink of destruction
If you are one of the few to answer happiness, brilliant deduction!

Catch you on the flip side.

The Law
10-22-2015, 07:26 AM
Eth - I'll be honest with you have computer problems and tossing up a verse to get it in, in time. I wasn't sure how well it was going to be. But that was very well written and a great unique, original piece. I really enjoyed it. Great wording, rhyme scheme, flow, use of vocab. The description and emotion behind it was very well done. Then the twist at the end that we are all his creations starts to pull over why we 'war and corrupt', the depressions, the misery. It really summed it all up. I can't find anything to say to even critique that drop, even the length as short verse as that is fit it perfect. Can't ask for anything better, imo.

Godcomplex - Cool little story. I like the more of a single artist approach showing the world the real demise of happiness. You can see his pain and misery in the art. Using the van gogh reference to justify what the artist was doing was a nice touch as well. The description and imagery was also used well in your piece as it was eth's. Flow wise in the first part it was off in some bars, the second part you wrote was smooth straight through. I thought a couple times you sacrificed the way the bars read for vocabulary, but for the most part you used what was good for the context and content. Just to give you an example so you know where I'm coming from the 'posthumously', bar would have been much smoother with some simpler like just after death for example. Another solid, enjoyable drop though.

MVGT: Eth - This battle was well worth the championship match, I must say. I enjoyed both takes on the topic. Eth gets my vote for the simple fact I just thought his verse was flawless, I didn't see any mistakes in his writing and he did a great job taking his approach on the topic and turning it into a great piece.

MMLP
10-22-2015, 09:46 AM
Eth – the piece is produced nicely, its clear you had the idea of the finish before writing, it was basically a long set up to a punch but you pulled it off in style. Very proficient mechanics were displayed, the rhymes were solid. I really like the ending,
I like an ending that I don’t see coming and fits in perfectly to what you’re writing rather than a stupid unrelated twist you could never predict. Good job!

Complex – same again tbh, I preferred your structure in the sense that your (for the most part) sentence’s weren’t as dragged out. Nice and condensed for what was the longer piece, it reads (and looks) smoother.
Technically proficient. The story itself was good nothing special but I was expecting a dramatic ending the way it read. I dunno if I needed more or wanted more from it

I liked the match up and enjoyed the reading and analysing. No BS it was seriously close, evenly matched technically and for me it only came down to the ending.
I was more satisfied with Eth’s finish, a flat out ending which caught me out in a good way. I dunno if I felt like I wanted more or needed from complexes finish
Good job netcees!

v/Eth

2tripple0
10-22-2015, 02:58 PM
okay for me this was a really close tight championship battle this week I enjoyed both writers styles but in the end was more impressed with godcomplex........I know that's different than the other two votes in here but for me eth was a bit generic and came with an approach that has been used to death.....whereas on the otherhand godcomplex had a really unique type of writing in his verse that made me feel like I could connect closer to the person that it was about and the writer as a whole much more information was received throughout his piece and therefore that's why hes getting my vote....my favourite part was how he split it into two stanzas and the structure really stole the vote just felt like a doper read to me but good luck to both writers and hopefully you both continue writing in this league.........just felt like eth could have come harder overall whereas godcomplex just really took the cake in this case.......anyways yeah so vote...............godcomplex

CopyPat
10-22-2015, 10:43 PM
wowwwww.

i was reading eths and it had me engaged the whole time and i was like damn this is a nice ass verse and then BOOM that last line at the end LITERALLY made me go "ohhh shiiiiiiiiitt". fucking stellar. wow just really impressed

second guy i was like he ain't gonnna have much of a chance unless he does something completely nuts and yeah it just didn't happen. there wasn't gonna be much anyone could do after eths verse so i wouldn't get too upset. you had a solid solid verse too in this battle which prob woulda won a lot of times but you simply just ran into a pretty flawless entry and just got beat. simple as that

Vote:Eth
best topical ive read in a long time. props

Frank
10-23-2015, 01:18 AM
Eth

Solid writing. When I had finished reading, had found a new-found respect for your pen game. Compact and coherent and came with a message. I thought the voice Artistically rebellious. Verse resonated on a real level for me. Not much more for me to say other then I appreciated the read.

Godcomplex

Again, your verse came off in a way I could relate to. I thought the happy ending paradoxically fit the darker, vulgar subject matter. Enjoyed the excerpt.

Feel really Vain thinking that both writers were subconsciously writing about me. And I think that's what inspiring writing does. Lets the read live vicariously. Actually found this battle to be very, very close, Ultimately the deciding factor was; is Godcomplexs verse great enough to dethrone the champion? The answer is Yes. But the most important question is; Was Eth's verse dope enough to retain the title? Which was also a yes

MVGT Eth

asylum
10-23-2015, 02:45 AM
Eth- well starting off your mechanics are fucking solid. Great line..
Behind every smiling face lies war and corruption
This bar.. crux of the verse, eloquently spoken. Flow’s on point too.
Perhaps the only reason he works, is cause he’s felt depression
Making pictures and sculptures out of self-expression
Wasn’t expecting the twists direction but knew something was coming soon. You did a good job of hammering home the fact your character is God. Not sure if you made the ink blue because that’s the color of our blood before it turns to oxygen but that’s how I interpreted it and I like it. If you would have replaced consumption with assumption in the fifth line I would have liked it more. Flow worked well with mechanics. Your opening and closing moods were set impeccably by diction. Sick piece man

Godcomplex – AH, I get it now. I still want to know if the dude jumped or not.. but the “ants at a distance” was a great opener. Definitely nailed the twist home. I thought you were talking about some kind of serial killer or something gruesome. But this was pretty good. I really liked this, but it felt off a little.
And the rest of the manic screaming frantic women.
I’ll like to be remembered in a romantic image
Perhaps be held as a tantric symbol,
I see tantric and frantic working but “symbol” kinda threw me off. Not really voting on it but that could have used some polish. But I really liked this ..
Tsk, I’m here to show you life’s true secret, its pain;
So you'll fathom why my work was equal to greats
I enjoyed that immensely. Twisted as fuck. Pretty cool. Also liked the turn of phrase, “brilliant deduction.” Like yeah fuck off and die, good job. Lol. One of the strongest points of this verse , for me, was the tongue in cheek attitude. Kind of like you were letting your audience in on your little secret, right before he made the leap. As fucked up as it sounds, I hope your character made an impressive ink blot. He was all about it.

MGVT – this is a hard one for me. But I’m going to have to give the nod to ETH. It read smooth, rhymed better, and had a stronger twist. if godcomplex had given a detailed description with a bit of humor about the plunge to the pavement, I would have voted for him. It was that close.

timeless
10-23-2015, 04:09 AM
Eth, solid read. Everything pieced together so effortlessly and written with a voice only a natural can possess. Ending was dope. Only thing I feel you could've had more of were multis but even then it would prolly seem forced at times. This verse was just right, one of the best I've read all season.

Godcomplex, wasn't feeling the opening stanza. The opening few bars of the second however were dope. I felt that if you would've went back and produced something more in your first part this would've been a lot harder to decide who to vote on. Not a bad piece overall just didn't feel complete.

V. Eth

sral
10-23-2015, 07:35 AM
6-1 Eth wins!