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Ghost1
10-26-2015, 10:18 AM
So....I'm like ayo but. Hey. Look.

So this stupid bitch. She's got all these toys an shit cuz she's in a never ending unhappy relationship sp she thinks she's like the sex master because she has all these retarded gadgets to try and make sex tolerable for her boring tired sex life. So I'm like....yea idgaf about none of that just come over an get fucked like the whore u are....an don't talk too much. She's like oh but hey how bout I bring over a surprise for us!?!? I'm like....why don't u surprise me an not be such an annoying fucking slut for one day of ever. She's like ok I'll bring it! Great. So she comes over. It's this butt stabbed ring thing? Idk it's like a fishing lure shaped like an ice cream c9ne. So I'm fuckin her doggy style an I squeeze half this bottle of lube into her butt an smeared it around....I took the cap off the bottle....didn't know there was a top an a squeeze hole....regardless....my hands r slippery as fuck....I took multi tasking like shit right now. Screaming childish things at her while trying to keep steady w my stroke then ram this ring puncher I to her bhole. So at some point i decide I should take the ring part off my finger so I could stick this shit in deeper....for a while it's going fine....then...SCHLURKP....her stinky whore butt whole sucked the shit right out of my lube soaked fingers and just swallowed it up like a brown alien. I stop stroking an I'm like....oh my fuck....Wat do I do now? She's like why u stop? R u Nutting in me right now? I'm like bitch lol never. Stfu. So I just keep fuckin her an then finish an fall out on the bed....then she's like....where's the butt thingy? An it all comes rushing back to me an I bust out laughing...hard. she starts laughin too...cuz she thinks that we r friends....then I'm like...oh....it's in ur butt. She laughs again an is like...no really....N I'm like...yea...uh.....it's swallowed it right out my hand....it's forgot to tell u. LMAO. She gets pissed off...itstm like u brought that dumb shit here.....itstm should have an anchor attached to it so this don't haplen....she like IT'S GOT A RING....itstm like fuck u just go shit it out. Then get out of my place.

Discuss?

~RustyGunZ~
10-26-2015, 10:29 AM
no way u kept fucking her after the shit got sucked inside. savage

id be like go fish that thingn out immediately before it fucks your insides up

Ghost1
10-26-2015, 10:32 AM
Well I mean I stopped....an started to think over the consequences....then she was like..R U FACKING CUMMING IN ME#?!? an pissed me off so...I had to get back in there. I had a few drinks too. I realize this is no excuse....but I am just a man.

Strikta
10-26-2015, 10:34 AM
I'da been atleast nice enough to retrieve it for her.

Lol tho.

Ghost1
10-26-2015, 10:37 AM
Dude.....retrieve it how tho.....I mean I stuck my finger in to see if I could grab the ring part....negatory

Hush
10-26-2015, 10:43 AM
Gravity will sort it out

sral
10-26-2015, 11:19 AM
should have fished it out with your tongue like a man tbc

Ghost1
10-26-2015, 11:36 AM
My finger l9ng er then my tongue

I have no qualms w eatin dem booty holes tho

Diode
10-26-2015, 11:59 AM
is this ole pisslegs?

8===D~~~~(}:
10-26-2015, 12:00 PM
Your comment has been removed by the administrator.

Nameflip
10-26-2015, 12:09 PM
Shoulda stuck a magnet in her ass n let science do the rest broh

Useless
10-26-2015, 12:29 PM
Shoulda never took it off the ring...

Brighter minds than yours designed it that way for a reason


Fgt


my finger so I could stick this shit in deeper....for a while it's going fine....then...SCHLURKP....her stinky whore butt whole sucked the shit right out of my lube soaked fingers and just swallowed it up like a brown alien. I stop stroking an I'm like....oh my fuck....Wat do I do now?

^^^ that part slayed me tho

Batty
10-26-2015, 12:32 PM
Yo, at first I almost said TLDR but then I'm like "this is Bagsworth, it'll be worth it" and it was totally fucking worth it.

No questions, just love.

Ghost1
10-26-2015, 12:37 PM
is this ole pisslegs?

Haha nahhhh she stopped hittin me up after I told every1 she worked w that I peed on her

Some people smh

Chill Phil
10-26-2015, 12:42 PM
....where's the butt thingy? An it all comes rushing back to me an I bust out laughing...hard. she starts laughin too...cuz she thinks that we r friends....

that part is the funniest.

Rawn MD
10-26-2015, 12:43 PM
When I was working radiology we used to get scans like this all the time during the late night...

Sht be hilarous....u see a Xray with anal beads dislodged into the side of the colon and need to be surgically extracted....

Anal beads was the most normal instrument, I've seen a great multitude of objects...

Fun times.

Inno
10-26-2015, 12:47 PM
Holy huge hands its rawn!

~RustyGunZ~
10-26-2015, 01:12 PM
Oh now rawn is a doctor

You never stop surprising me

Rawn MD
10-26-2015, 01:13 PM
It is well documented that I worked radiology...

and peep 'MD'

reasoning given.

~RustyGunZ~
10-26-2015, 01:14 PM
Stfu dick breath

Flow
10-26-2015, 01:25 PM
This was the best post i have ever read. This post is my vote for next HOF

Destroyer
10-26-2015, 03:32 PM
not for nothing, but I think if you can lose something that big in your asshole and not realize it, that's on you.

Batty
10-26-2015, 03:49 PM
Yo, this has me thinkin tho... wonder if they make those lanyard wristband thingies for sextoys? You know, like the surfers wear to keep their board from washing away.

Plus, there should be a slang term for this.

BUTTMUDA TRIANGLE

Ghost1
10-26-2015, 03:57 PM
Cord-on poo

All class.

Dope girl
10-26-2015, 05:41 PM
Sound like u guys need to step freaky things up

sral
10-26-2015, 05:46 PM
post what you use roro

Dove Dozer
10-26-2015, 05:57 PM
Yo, this has me thinkin tho... wonder if they make those lanyard wristband thingies for sextoys? You know, like the surfers wear to keep their board from washing away.

Plus, there should be a slang term for this.

BUTTMUDA TRIANGLE

hahahahah dead

Useless
10-26-2015, 06:36 PM
Sound like u guys need to step freaky things up

sonned?

Dope girl
10-26-2015, 06:43 PM
I'm not trying to insult suppose to do it right she beg for more

I love it hard and harder

Witty
10-26-2015, 06:47 PM
I'm not trying to insult suppose to do it right she beg for more

I love it hard and harder

Every time.

Every.

Single.

Time.

You never disappoint Roro. I love you.

Also dead @ thread and story.

Useless
10-26-2015, 06:47 PM
I'm not trying to insult suppose to do it right she beg for more

I love it hard and harder

sonned!

Dope girl
10-26-2015, 06:50 PM
thanks witty <3 u too

Bash
10-26-2015, 07:49 PM
"Schlurp"... Leaned tf outta me

Aero
10-26-2015, 07:51 PM
250 view thread.

Pharaohs Army
10-27-2015, 05:14 AM
So I'm like....yea idgaf about none of that just come over an get fucked like the whore u are....an don't talk too much. She's like oh but hey how bout I bring over a surprise for us!?!? I'm like....why don't u surprise me an not be such an annoying fucking slut for one day of ever.

Strikta
10-27-2015, 05:22 AM
Rawn u were a radiologist son? Lmao foh.

Junto
10-27-2015, 06:10 AM
WHATEVER MAKE ME A BICYCLE, CLOWN

Junto
10-27-2015, 06:11 AM
...this was good