Week 13/14 Mag: Checkered Flag

[Adonis]

~INTRO~


Cheers, as we near the finish line I for one am proud of what we overcame. More on that next mag. This mag will be short and too the point, hopefully we can add to it later on in the week with a few tid bits of feed from new competitor THE LAW as well as willy vet Mr. J.. Leggo!!


~Feature artist: Bambu~


http://i.imgur.com/8cCjNLj.jpg



Bambu is a Filipino artist Raised in Watts district of LA by way of Hawaii. Bambu is highly political with his raps and often spits about up lifting the people and OUR community. He's a vocal, conscious rapper who touches the subject of family as often as Kanye raps about himself. Dude is lyrical as fuck. He has donated time and music to helping the youth of today’s future drug lords and gangsters in hopes of re-routing them onto a positive path. Dude sick. Enjoy.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5h50WnJgsc

[Adonis]

~Week 14 Battle Reviews~



Frank DQ'd vs. Godcomplex


Frank – Really good imagery, some very detailed writing. Early on, a girl tied to a post about to be exercised? That can't be the correct tense for that word right? Shrieking octave shadering node, inhumane. For shame you were flagged, I'm 1/30th of the way in and love it. And now it hits, we write opposite. One of your lines would qualify as a quarter of my verse, but I think we write the same. One exception, vomited on soles was a missed opportunity for a sick ass line concept juxtaposing soul and hell. To get a hold. Of herself. Chopped poorly. Especial the pope, really, that's the name you're going with? Appreciate the Spanish sprinkled in but come on son, this is just offensive. All in all, long as fuck man. Boil and chop it down into a pure and raw form and you got yourself a winner easy over any verse this season. Aside from a continuous rhyme that repeated a few times in the end there, golden goose lipshitz.


Godcomplex - I liked the opening end rhymes because it directly correlates to Franks signature style of killing a rhyme before moving on. You eventually circled back to it later on, but I thought you poking fun at Frank which is always a plus. On second read I believe you kept the same end rhyme pretty consistent throughout, so I applaud the fun jab at your counterpart. This verse was more demonic then you normally bring forth. I thought you writing from the perspective of God mid way through but the ending leads me to believe otherwise. Still not sure of who the writer is here, but I liked the character none the less. He seemed self righteous, wanting to teach through misery and capture the goods in the process, I.e skin and eyes and shit like that. Reminded me of Buffalo Bob really. In any case, I think you would have lost this battle due to the amount of specific descriptions Frank fit into his not so tight space. I commend you for flagging him too. I did not years ago when he went over the limit and he crushed me, even though people said my verse was good, just too short in comparison. Redemption is a sigh of relief. Thank you. Solid verse, seemed a bit more lackluster then what I'm accustomed to from you, yet, even still, just pure, solid writing.


2Tripple0 vs. Mr. J


2tripple0 – You really gotta refine that style son. Lack of direction at times is good with your style, but this week I didn't enjoy. You bounced around as usual, but didn't come with the full array of skill I think you have. I think you should try and tell an actual story at some point this season, from beginning to end, with no simile's.



Mr. J – Really, renting a movie huh, like people still do this. I don't know what to say man, you did enough to get the win. You wrote a linear verse? It was OK. Nothing horrible about it, just not a good piece in general.



Timeless vs. JESODIST


Timeless – Hmmm, not clear what you did here if I'm honest. You wrote about hell and referenced a porcelain dress (breakable, weak) and a dark hallway or do and an axe. The only way I put this all together is you wrote about a guy who kills people to bring them to hell? No clue man, seemed unfinished.


JESODIST – I was not a fan of this verse my man, sorry. It read straight forward enough, which shows you can weave a bit of a story, but the rhyming was all over the place. I prefer structure more then anything, and you had rhymes tossed in where ever they would fit in your long line format, which I am also not a fan of although you do it better then most I think. The story was cool, I liked the transformation scene and felt you executed it well. You gave more examples then anything though, so your description was less description and more simile. You did have imagery, but I think you missed the mark because the opportunity was there to go full blown imagery and gruesome and you just ended the verse. Solid read, but nothing ground breaking.





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMri0guKXLA






Vividlyvague vs. Rakontur


Vivid – When I read “Sorry Frank ” only one person came to mind and this gave me a chuckle. This name will forever be synonymous with the one and only hell raising, law breaking boarder who's every breathe blows sends a pain down the spine of every mod, and I respect the hustle. Now to you Vivid. This verse was extremely captivating due to the imagery and storytelling, you drew me in man, truly. The start was superb writing in terms of a novel, I feel like you are doing the wrong thing. If you could write sit and write ten pages every other night and go back and add the imagery of a flickering light or Dr. on a couch you know, button up the details, you can really create a top selling novel, no jokes here. Anyways, back to your verse for the inth time. The opening light switch was not just a man flipping it on, but searching for a switch to turn on. This is what makes you great writer, and I mean great. These details give a path to a story that I have no seen ever, and I have been around multiple decades. Where do I think you faltered? I think you were too ambitious with constructing a verse in the same vein as the actual movie. Example, I wrote a many topical about The Homer series, where I try and breathe life back into his poems. But I never understood how people could say you aren't making your own art until just now. You created a really good story, but with out the other creations in front of me it fell, not flat, just a few pegs. So while you wrote a very imaginative verse in my eyes, one that I really loved, bold the word love, I feel like it is not entirely yours. The characters, the actions, it all. I never got this from reading voters who vote against me in my Homer Series, which I will no doubt still do just because I love it. Anyways, this was a dope verse, I loved it my man. There was nothing weak about it.


Raconteur – Short and to the point. You wrote about the TV show to catch a predator, only the predator in your scenario was the young, underage female catching these guppy men. You peppered this verse with nautical or fishing references which added depth to the read. But god was this short. I don't mind at all though because I feel like you packed in quite a punch in a short space. Not sure if this will get you wins if you make the post-season so beware. But, solid writing this week, I actually liked you verse.



Copypat vs. Exis


Copypat – I liked the flip on the topic, liked the rhymes and enjoyed the message most off all. You pretty much explained me, but I got kids now, so halloween is alive again, FUCK MY LIFE! Anyways, I think you accomplished what you set out to do so the execution is top notch. I do believe you wrote this as a quick write and it shows, you still seem a bit rusty. You got the talent to go deep in postseason if you squeak in, but will need to step up significantly from this if you want to see that come to fruition. Solid read though, as I said, it was entertaining to say the least and that is the main goal in my eyes.


Exis – Keystlye huh? I liked it though. Enjoyed the rhymes and the little bit of detail you added helped develop the verse, but it was just too short with not enough description to really edge this week out. It was a close battle, but Copy is a beast with it and you sort of matched his style which is a loss for anyone. But as for your verse, yeah. Like I said, for it being so short you were able to fit in imagery and scenery and character albeit vastly underdeveloped. So, solid read, but not championship worthy.




Championship: EtH vs. MMLP


EtH – I wrote a similar verse once upon a time so I obviously like the concept, however, I think it could have been executed on a much grander scale. You gave me lost island which I believe represents the characters mind, but that's it. I feel like this verse needed additional examples or more innuendo or more metaphors explaining, in general, more. So solid execution because as I have finished reading I received the perception that I fully grasped the concept, just wish there was a bit more to grip you know? I did enjoy the AB, AB pattern. Not the rhymes, because these made them less effective, but for being different and going out on the limb. One of my favorite writers ever is a guy named kannon who has this ability to change rhyme schemes at will and make them all form a single, cohesive verse. So props on that shit man, enjoyable read in the end, but I can only nitpick as this is what I am good at.


MMLP – “Death looks over me like the happiest neighbor” What does this mean? It made me laugh on the real. I feel like it doesn't translate well but it does, solid line of the Peruvian kind. All in all though, this was meant to be a heartfelt tug of war on the soul of the reader, but I fear it fell short, just short. One thing I will say proudly, your use of the letter, it's rhyming I mean, the way you weaved a conversation of sorts into rhyme form while not fucking the content up, this was no less then amazing. I was not connecting with the rhymes throughout, but during the actual reading of the letter, I noticed the rhymes, but noticed the words more. So I went back a few times to make sure it all rhymed, and you structured it all perfectly. It's not all end rhymes but its entirety is cohesive as fuck bruhv. At first I thought you completely fucked up, I mean who receives a letter interrupted midway through with a news bulletin? But as I researched, you did save yourself, the only problem is the story is theatrical, which is awesome in a sense, but also not so believable, like a made for TV movie ya dig? Enjoyable read here, but I think you let the championship stigma eat at you, thus, straying away from what you got you here. Short, sweet and to the fucking point. Although this was too, but it seemed like you actually wrote as opposed to let it flow.

[Adonis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP6y6_EsNvQ.




~No Show Shine~




Nigma – Fuck off. I thought this verse was a throw away, and the fact that you quickly wrote one so effectively was highly impressive. The imagery from walking through the jungle to a black man, WTF? In haiti, why the black guy gotta be hungry for human? To the salivating over a chicken to a bloody bath tub from the writers jugular. This verse was dope my man. No fat on it ironically. You penned something quick that struck a deep tune of cannibalism that was not overpowering or off turning, just the right amount of grotesque. Nothing about this verse did I not enjoy. Start to end. Honestly one of my favorite from you.



The Law or LA – First off, I am going to go back and read your verse last week because It is evident you are no slouch. As I'm writing this other battles are open and you are 2-0, I was originally not going to put you in a contenders match because two no show wins aint shit, but if you dropped two solid verses as this one, then it don't fucking matter. As for this verse.... This verse was not perfect by all means, but the good far outweighed the bad in my eyes. You have solid rhymes although a few grammatical errors had the record skip if you will. That, along with a few predictable bars due to your rap-like style, which I don't mind and prefer as long as it's not simple shit. You structured a character and built him, well, not from scratch because I feel like you used the dude from this movie as a reference some what. So, not from scratch, but using a recipe, you were still able to mold a figure and a mind state in my head and close extremely strong. I for one enjoy when a writer embraces the darkside because that's much better then the sentimental heart felt verse that is far more common for some reason. In any case, I think this verse well deserved a win over half the league this week, no show or not.



Asylum – This was DOPEEEE. You went full steam dark and executed nicely. You had great detail and imagery that opened up your play book of rhymes. You progressed an actual story smoothly aside from not having much in lieu of character build up. You wrote created a twisted scene with gruesome happenings about these voodoo Dr.s if you will. I enjoyed this a lot. It is actually one of my favorite three from this week along with Franks fucking novel and Nigma's short and sweet verse. You have improved your mechanics though, immensely I must say. I think you turned the corner at the right time, and if you can keep focused and not over think shit in the playoffs, continuing to set aside time to write, you can actually make a deep run. G/Luck brotha man.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpxtieQuaFU




~Week 15 Prediction~
Produced by:Asylum = SY & Adonis = AD



CopyPat vs. JESODIST

SY: I think CopyPat will take this 70/30. He’s got the more refined approach and writes more solid pieces. Jesodist mechanics are top notch but he will not take this match on mechanics alone.

AD: Copy will have the more intriguing and groundbreaking concept as he always does in just about any battle. Jes seems like the talent is there but a bit raw. Copy is his own worst enemy, but I think he edges this one out in a decisive win. Copy 73%


Mr. J vs. Godcomplex

SY:Mr. J went into hiding recently, I’m not really sure if he’s feeling it or what’s going on with him.. but Godcomplex is in it to win it this season. I just don’t see J coming at top speed right now. Godcomplex 90/10.

AD: I nearly put this as the final contenders match because it's just deserving, but the two who made it there had the larger win streak and produced some solid verses as well. This will be close, not sure what Sy talking bout. Mr. J been dropping to the skill of his talent, and in this case, will need to produce Jay circa season 3 in his Title Streak to get the W. In the end though, God has too much depth for Mr. J to counter in my eyes. Buddha 70%


Exis vs. 2tripple0

SY: This will be a decent matchup fsho, if 2k works on his approach and writes a solid piece he could take it. But chances are Exis will drop what it takes to get him the win this week. I’ll call it 70/30.

AD: I think 2k has the opportunity to pick up a win if he stays focused, good luck with that though. I see Exis has already posted, I'm sure 2k will sooner then later. I got Exis 77%


Rakontur vs. Frank

SY: Well from last week Rak didn’t seem to put in nearly as much effort as Frank did. I’ll put this one at a 80/20. If Rak were to write a fully developed piece I’d put it about 50/50 because of Frank’s knack for antics and long syllable counts lately.

AD: I don't know who Rak has faced, but it's highly unlikely he has faced a writer like Frank yet, so this will tell a lot about him in my eyes. The only thing is, Frank will drop much longer then Rak and even if Rak drops a conceptual work with dope a flip a decent execution, franks length might still get him the win. Frank 70%





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pnSpUbOyLI





Timeless vs. MMLP

SY: Timeless has potential, he’s put forward some sick work in his topical career. I just feel mmlp is on a hotter streak right now. I’d put this at 60/40 for mmlp, depending on his sobriety level when he writes his verse!

AD: This will be a quick read to say the least. I think Time has lost focus more then not this season, almost like he's barely trying. Maybe he catches lightining in a bottle this week because he wants the playoffs, but maybe not. Either way. Time 52%


Vividlyvague vs. Flo Real

SY: I think vv has the potential to knock out just about any top tier writer on his best day, if he stays focused. Flo has some sick flow, appropriately enough, but vivid gets in depth with his storylines. I think VV will take it this week @ 51/49.

AD: Fuck, Flo has faced a murderers row on the real. He draws another potential champion here. Flo has the potential to win a lot here. He's not elite, but if he executes a clear topic he can beat people. Vivid is on right now though. Nearly making the final Contenders match, his blade seems almost fully sharpened off of a what, a year hiatus. Vivid 75%


Contenders: Asylum vs. The Law

SY: From what I’ve seen dude has flow, so I’m not going to touch this one. Best of luck to you, good sir.

AD: Hmmm. This battle is intriguing to me because not only does it hold extreme playoff implications, but both have dropped solid fucking verses in the past two to three weeks. I think Sy is coming into his own right now and will likely produce the better concept, but LA can write as well. This is a tough call. Asylum 53%


Championship: (c) EtH vs. Nigma

SY: This one’s a toss up.. both are fully capable of beating one another. If both come as hard as they possibly can I think Nigma will take this match like 60/40. But EtH is on a roll so the ball is in his court, he might push the limits with this next verse.

AD: A few weeks ago EtH snatched the belt from Nigma and each have been on a tear since. While I enjoy EtH, I think Nigma is more polished seems to take more time while writing then EtH, who, to me, seems like he's been squeaking by with quick writes. I got Nigma in a close 60%

[Adonis]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2VDED--fi8


~Outro~


Don't forget to sign up for the playoffs, in that thread you can also find overall standings only not in order regarding tie-breakers yet.

Lets have a good week with no turmoil, looking at you Frankie.




FOR GOOD MEASURE


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1ZVvTPQv08

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFBWVZo0pas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8KXGapAfBI



Bambu that dude.

[2tripple0]

dopeness enjoyed this

[sral]

DOPE AS FUCK!

[Adonis]

Exis
The storyline and approach you took was pretty dope. Loved the way you ended it off. The imagery was nice as well, describing her message on the glass and that it disappears. Electricity line is another example of good imagery and use of descriptive words. For the most part the drop had a good rhythm, however, there was a few hiccups in the flow, at least for me while I was reading it. Other than that it was a solid drop with a good progressive storyline. A more what's happening in the moment approach than giving your character a background story throughout. Nice job.

Rakontur

Liked the storyline and the way it closed off that we humans are destroyed in hopes that the next time around they will be better than they were before. Really wasn't much else other than that. Pretty simple rhyme scheme and you just quickly progressed through the story without making any of the small writing errors. With how insane the picture was, you could have done with a bit more intricate imagery and details to really paint that picture for us.

Nigma

Storyline entwined with the clock in the picture was dope. You did a great job mixing that in there with the imagery and description. Had to read it twice to take everything in. Loved how he killed the lover but then right after was pondering the old memories, transitioned that in nicely. You do well with the complex storyline, twisted together than making us realize what it was all about. Only critique was flow was off in the places, but the sacrifice works for the story. Good stuff nig.

CopyPat

Flow was off in places and structure was a real clutter. Hard to follow at times, and it seemed more like you were just running with whatever came to your head about the problems in life then throwing small little references to the picture like the freedom shit and the gas mask. Would have liked to see an indepthful topical or a nice storyline brought to the table.

NYCSPITZ
Shit's gay. IMO should be real verses or it's a no show. At least put in a little work for the free win.



Last week no show shines

Big ups to a new member stepping up

[The Law]

That was week 13 I believe.

[e11even]

Great great mag guys. A new guy stepped up and the mag was still immaculate. Salute!

[Exis]

Thanks for puttin' in the work bitches...good shits.

[Woke]

Bambu that dude. How you miss this one Ft. Killa Mike, that real dude dude



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gdz0wz8B-oo






BANGER

B's up, killa kali

[UnbornBuddha]

Big props!

[asylum]

nice mag fellas! thanks for the read, I enjoyed it.