wk16: 3-6 Frank vs. 3-1 CopyPat - PAT VIA NS

[Adonis]

AOWL Season V, Week 16


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due
WEDNESDAY at 9 P.M. Pacific/West Coast or WEDNESDAY 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM THURSDAY Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Friday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Friday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Saturday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week.

All competitors must vote on THREE battles

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=119848)

Topic: Eluding Mind


G/Luck
CopyPat
Frank

[CopyPat]

We’re escaping reality, fooling the brain
But faking insanity is truly insane
Taking drugs... drinking spirits and ryes
Getting crazy fucked just to deal with our lives
The real world is harsh but we don’t see with our eyes
We just leave it inside, ignoring the truth
Fleeing our minds while pouring a few
Or snorting a huge line to get dusted
Off into space cause the mind isn’t trusted
Trying to get buzzed since sober is boring
High and just drunk till four in the morning
Total distortion till coke is important
Never really realizing the woes you’re ignoring
But you chose it so fuck it. A hose in the bucket
Overflowing abundance of ignorant bliss
Cause it’s better to live not giving a shit
Then to actually deal with the lives that we live
.. so fuck it I'm out. Thoughts are for bitches
No idea where I’m going, cause I’ve lost every interest
Been dodging all thinking and doing it freely
Now my cognizance shrinking so eluding is easy

[Adonis]

Frank's verse


Mental blockades beyond the temples cognitive Central operatives intrude on your mind.
A veil of mystery, dipped in serendipity, the veil, and its affinity for secluding your mind.
Dumbfounded, drooping the mind. Spear gun mounted, harpooning the mind.
Canoeing through my mind without scuba gear into the lagoon of your mind
Abstract thinking obtrusive to the mind: zoom in on my illuminate mind
Say vamoose to your mind - shooing your mind away - loosing your mind.
Voice recognition search engine: "birth certificate". Googled my mind
Critiques ridiculing my mind. Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre mutable minds
Imagery tattooing your mind, adding fuel to the fire, refueling the mind
What happens when the unstoppable force meets an immovable mind
Washing my hair... shampooing my mind.
Clogging my ears... It's not what you hear - I'm soundproofing your mind
I got rockets and spears, my platoons on my mind
My oxygens clear and now the moons on my mind.
Love poems fuzzy the moment, canoodle with your mind
Subdue your mind, while I review your mind, interview your mind
Pollute your mind. Stoop to my minds level is like roofing your mind -
Childproofing your mind, cocooning your mind until my thoughts incubate in the womb of your mind
Artificial intelligence in the pursuit of your mind
Quartz of crystal: the portal signals, walk in whimsical - whoosh through the mind
Hit snooze on your mind
Thanksgiving: stewing on my mind
Turkey Thermometer Juicing on my mind
Garnishes sprucing up my mind
I'm drooling from my mind
Hot air ballooning your mind to the palace of thoughts until you are aloof in your mind
Parachute to the mind just below you; oh you maneuvering mind
You are using your mind
Use your mind to imagine coffee, let it brew in your mind
Wake up and smell the flowers, let it bloom in your mind
This is a spoof of my mind
I'm really just A brain marooning as my mind
Skewing your mind, confusing your mind, renewing your mind until you're indisputedly mine
Thinking up Punch lines, bruising my mind, hardcore drugs pruning my mind
There's no fooling my mind. The cue for my mind to unscrew so that you may chew on my mind.
Spooking the mind, amusing the mind, wooing the mind
Looping your mind, doodling my mind, diluting your mind
Who's in your mind after you rebooted your mind.
Who's in their right mind- the creative, empathetic, intuitive side
I think Fuck the Police like Ice Cube in the mind, speakers booming as they shoot in my mind
Lying in a red pool in my mind, my mind schmoozed, the K9 woof in my mind
I go on long runs and listen to Nike windbreakers swoosh in my mind
The wheels in my head are spinning, but the wheels need to be trued in my mind
I'm gluing my mind together. Fine tuning my mind, improving the mind
Who's rooting for whose mind?
What kind of mood is your mind in?
When your time comes to dispute with the minds
Loot our minds
Travel our train of thoughts, communicate with our commuting mind
Soon all of this will Elude your Mind

[asylum]

CopyPat – this piece has great flow, first of all. Yup, I felt it. Know all about that. Sick ass piece man. Your brevity worked for you. You got away with just spitting some truth that fit the topic, I love it when that happens. Last line was dope, really tied in the topic. Worked well. These bars hit deep for me.

Getting crazy fucked just to deal with our lives
The real world is harsh but we don’t see with our eyes
We just leave it inside, ignoring the truth
Fleeing our minds while pouring a few

That was really good, I fucking enjoyed it. This next turn of phrase was especially enjoyable as well.

But you chose it so fuck it. A hose in the bucket
Overflowing abundance of ignorant bliss

Just the way you rhymed and it flowed, marks of a wordsmith. Can’t really put it any other way, you’re obviously fucking good. I mean, you could’ve taken this farther but you kept it brief. It works for you. Nice verse, sir.

Frank – I couldn’t believe what I was reading for a while. Yes. Almost every line ends with mind. But it fucking worked bro. How the fuck did you make this work? So sick. This is a piece for an author, some of that “how the fuck did Frank pull that off?” but you did. Well.
This is probably my favorite line, seriously. Idk why. I fucking ate this shit up..

Washing my hair... shampooing my mind.

idk what canoodling is but ima give that one a pass. Then this..

Lying in a red pool in my mind, my mind schmoozed, the K9 woof in my mind
I go on long runs and listen to Nike windbreakers swoosh in my mind
at this point i'm close to busting up. idk why. just some sense of comedy you instill by being so ridiculous really worked for you. But this one came in second for favorite line..

Skewing your mind, confusing your mind, renewing your mind until you're indisputedly mine

Liked how that sounded. Fresh out the drycleaners. Nice verse bro. I really enjoyed reading this unconventional, original, fresh ass shit. A bit long in the tooth but it had the bite to back it up.

/v Frank, he simply came with more, it was entertaining as fuck, a real creative piece that looks like it took some work. Honestly, if I were to weigh it pound for pound, copypat would have been my first choice. But Frank’s piece simply is the better of the two.. especially if I don’t take line count into consideration. or time constraints.