[WEEK I]Vulgar vs Frank OPEN FOR FEEDBACK

[Inno]

LGPA Season 2: Week I

Vulgar Frank

Check ins: MondayMidnight Eastern time)
Poems Due: Wednesday (Midnight Eastern time)
Votes due: Sunday (Midnight Eastern time)


Topic:


http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/3/36257/1454705-superman703_007.jpg

Goodluck

[Vulgar]

Ima eat you alive.

[Frank]

Guess who's bizzack

[Vulgar]

Lower Hanging Feuds

Notoriety doesn't impress
if the regurgitated lines are wrought with streudel-ed wrinkles

Masculine and feminine universes
- temperaments
could be the end-all reason for the case of exact opposites:
Fire and water
Optimism and pessimism
Heroism and villainy

The big dipper swig
fluids in the Horsehead Nebula's bladder
Pillared clouds, Batwing black gunk
interspersed. Kidney colored time capsules
drifting like red blood cells
in an incomplete sonogram

Who can explain
the burdens of a broken nail
to a shattered world
least of all to a monk in the Mars Canal
praying to an obsidian gold interface
Halls of granite -
but that which is still stone will pass; will degrade
Like a grenadier's bullet at mach speeds
stripped of underlying principle
and forcefields

Larger matters must be attended to
not always of the fanciful and grand
but the ruinous and totaled
the extraordinarily tragic
the transcended blood-borne diseases
magnified in an arachnid's dark glare
To focus on the pregnant fly
suspended inanimately in an ornate web
draining it of its juices
before eating at last

We are generational chloroform
choked of relevance
smothered with prior engagements -
Can we breathe without disruption?

[Frank]

Extension

[Adonis]

Thank you for voting in AOWL first of all, much appreciated. This was mad abstract for me though. I picked up on the play on humanity, the opposites of sorts. The direction you took, while a bit over my head due to me not delving in fully, was enjoyable. A bit of a puzzle, one that if I had more time would enjoy cracking, but I do not. What I can say is that the voice your brought forth is extremely poetical. Though you had some decent verses season one, I feel like you tried a bit harder in this one then in most of the other ones from last season. Good shit bro.

[Inno]

Good stuff V fee llike you went freemind to much rho lol
Dont know if that makes sense. Anyway this felt very whimsical
To me dunno why. Could be the abstract feel to it. Your personal
Style mixed with the direction you took this pic. Either way it was a cool
Journy of imagery of and a little bit of philosophy?
Very interesting piece bro.

[Objective]

I got home pretty late and only signed in to do my duty (it's 3am where I'm at). I could feed it now but I'm pretty tired so I'll do it tomorrow or in the next couple of days. It'll be better when I'm fully operational.

[Inno]

Vulgar wins