First Language

[Alice White]

I wasn't bred callous, peers just happened to be less heinous
imposed to stressed peasants I just happened to have habits of bad malice
moving past manics; I amassed a concoction of pernicious mass merits
acetic saliva when I spit, my self-transcendence is planned vengeance.
started out with maiden scripts on faded ink and a penchant for exposure
succubus paying dues, sweet chariots won't carry me for my petulant persona.
pick a-part or pick my cherry, I ripped it out self handedly cos it lacked density
poured it in a cup and fed it to a stray dog - guess hard work paid off!
now the concept's bitch made.

[Ghost1]

Lol at this wack shit. Go fuck urself.

[Alice White]

I'm flattered.

[puravida]

bags doing bags stuff.

[sral]

Pardon my ignorance, but do they even speak English in the UK?

[Cimmerian]

A good effort. I felt that the wordplay often seemed forced and at times, nonsensical. The rhyme scheme could be improved with some variation.


Keep doing.

Cimm.

[e11even]

I wanted to like this, but this just doesn't translate well for me. I see punchline potential and innuendo, but these aspects were not showcased properly imo. The flow was poem-ish and very clunky, assuming it was intended to rhyme. Just keep it up and I think you could really put work together that will be noteworthy.

[Eŋg]

i didn't think this was good.