Round One: Mr. J vs. Bags [OPEN FOR VOTES]

[Adonis]

Winter Topical II: Round One


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due JAN. 11th
MONDAY at 9 P.M. Pacific/West Coast or MONDAY 11:59 PM Eastern / 6:00 AM TUESDAY JAN. 12th Central European/London
There are NO extensions.

Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

Votes are due Thursday at 4:00 p.m. Western / or Thursday 7:00 PM Eastern / 1:00 AM Friday Central European/London Failure to vote will result in NEGATIVE VOTES if you advance to the next round.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? You can technically start a match down three votes by failing to log a single vote the previous week.

so....

All competitors must vote on THREE battles

Read the full rules here! (http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=122320)

Topic:


http://i.imgur.com/lJKWsQV.jpg


Gluck

Mr. J Bags

[Ghost1]

Squiggly 12

Educate me


Do we have to match line limits like in a battle er wot?

I'm prolly gonna be posting more towards the max

[Mr. J]

Post as much as you wish....I'll match

[Ghost1]

Ayyyy yo lol. Adonis u a fat lonely disgusting piece of shit.
Mr j? Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool EAT A DICK
fuck u an that little fagit in the rain
I hope he was born w a tumor in his brain
An that pussy w the umbrella? Ella Ella ay?
I pray that he's on his way to walk in front of a train
Deadman treated u like a bitch an u hibernated in shame
U the type to marry a hoe an let her hyphenate her name
Lol let a bimbo even suggest it to me an she flyin out a window
She too fly? Send er down a flight of stairs
On a one way ticket to a guy that cares
Nah but for real...Mr j? This worthless dudes a nerdy goon
Seriously..........things a virgin do....make comic book text names at 32
Lmao I'll bet my account that he got christmas lights in his room
Year round....
blacklight posters...a bed w no frame...
Matter fact.....no wonder u worship some weird clown
U sum1 in this sub section that's revered? Wow
Go head tho fagit.....tell every1 how the kid in the pic is free
An the adult in the suit is stuck in the machine
The same ass predictable bullshit that 3 people in the om think is deep
I'll be here jerking off to pics of B.E.
Finna cum like Arghh then take the sheers to these sheep
HEY EVERYBODY I'M MR J I'M AN EVIL WRITER
LIKE
WICKED EVIL. JOKER 2. MR J. THE SEQUEL...
I'M THE EQUALIZER
fagit fuckboy u the weakest writer
in a tourney full of geeks an liars not fit to hold the g4 used to key this fire
That bullshit u been thinking bout got me pissed off
I mean shit hoss
Them topicals u write make a dude wonder if I bitch clipped ur dick off
I mean u not gonna win even if u do pass this round
..........
Lol....seriously tho....Mr j.....the text battling clown
Like wicked scary
I mean....u a poem writing Gotham city villain
I'm out bangin bitches an gettin my dick stuck w penicillin
If u write a verse about this picture as a metaphor to society...
I swear to god I'll stomp on ur head w 10 steps to sobriety
Suck a uncut dick

[Mr. J]

Rotting away, I look at the body as it tosses in rain..
sometimes it makes me nauseous and hate the toxins that wait
the streets run red with the same nuisances as yesterday
between the normalcy of life what am I being stressed to paint?
I send streaks to the same place the sewage floats
tell my closest that You need to see this shitty portrait yo

We laugh...& spend time working crosswords in the NY Times
and why lie...I spill my cappuccino while eating my breakfast wrapped burrito
I know the skill got my opponents green with envy...pass the weed yo
each line becomes a representation of the cards Im dealt
got a red head whose 5 7 fabricate my existence, see how odd I felt
the resemblance is striking as I scramble to assemble my lighting
I never felt so blue about where the grass is greener
its all work to me though, give that brush back to teacher...
back to the streets where I draw inspiration on the back of theaters
I rush to finish a piece without the colorful....wack demeanor



<3 Bags

[Diode]

Bags:

while humorous and a wanton disregard for the purpose of a topical tournament, bags willingly took the L to make a point. at least he mentioned the umbrella?

MJ:

this was solid. great use of color in reference to the subject at hand. not much of a story being told, more a statement / stream of consciousness piece. it does what it needed to do. didn't like the ending, though i get its purpose.

v/ MJ

[Pinot Grij]

Bags - I was dying from this - but unfortunately it doesn't even begin to attempt to be a topical verse. Usually, I'm all for topic bending, but this effort basically undermines the entire purpose of the tournament and for that reason I can't reasonably vote for your verse to win. Hilarious, though.

Mr. J - I don't get how a body tosses in rain. I don't get how toxins wait. Using "yo" as your primary rhyme in a topical is kinda weak. You're drinking cappuccino, eating a burrito and smoking weed all at the same time. "the resemblance is striking" - resemblance to what? The color scheme portion seems pretty rushed in at the last second and the lines don't develop well together. I rush to finish a piece without the colorful....wack demeanor. That sums up this verse. Honestly, I hate that Bags forced me to vote for this. This is a complete rush job and you offer the reader really nothing to think about or savor or enjoy. I hope you show more effort next round. This was bad.

Vote -- Mr. J

[NYCSPITZ]

overall bags had a funny verse and mr.j had a very rushed verse but at least it resembled a topical piece. Was expecting more from both but my vote goes to J for actually writing something a little more related to the topic

v/mrj

[dead man]

Bags advances.

Mods close this please.

Edited by Adonis
dead man you must elaborate for this to be counted

[Ghost1]

Thank u sir.

Ahem....mods....

[Razah]

U the type to marry a hoe an let her hyphenate her name

Them topicals u write make a dude wonder if I bitch clipped ur dick off

lmao.


that shit made me laugh. Anyways, battle verse, versus a what I'm guessing is a very rushed verse, or, just a verse where you knew it would win based on what your opponent posted. Im'a have to just give you the vote for that, although, this was a pretty dope topic if you ask me.

thanks for the easy vote guys.

vMr. J

[Witty]

I really want to vote for bags because it was dope as fuck lmao but alas, it was not a topical verse lol Mr. J did not try, he probably knew he didn't have to...I did like the use of colours and what you did with that, but yeah, it wasn't your best work, but it didn't have to be.

Vote - Mr J

[Adonis]

Mr. J flawless 4-2

[Pharaohs Army]

this vote is prolly overkill but since it's still open, here:

mvgt J, cuz it was more on topic, and stuff.

That being said J, this is not up to the standard I hold you to..
First couplet was dope though..

Rotting away, I look at the body as it tosses in rain..
sometimes it makes me nauseous and hate the toxins that wait

SO "O.M." OF YOU. RIGHT BAGS? LOLZ

after that it looked pretty "keyed".

I send streaks to the same place the sewage floats
tell my closest that You need to see this shitty portrait yo

That's a shitty couplet i.m.o.

Keyed or not though, that second stanza flowed pretty sweet, and I like most of it phonetically, even though there are some concepts which seem to come out of nowhere.. where even tho things are subjective you can tell it's pretty much unrelated.. Like Innovatives first round but not quite that extreme.

You take this though for hitting the topic "enough" and writing perdy good.

Bagsy,
Hilarious man..
Lotta great moments in this gem of the verse... it's just in the wrong tournament I guess... maybe the picture somehow reminded you of punches towards your round 1 opponent or the moderator.

Were probly 2-3 parts that "deaded me" but my fav was:
Lol let a bimbo even suggest it to me an she flyin out a window
She too fly? Send er down a flight of stairs
On a one way ticket to a guy that cares

ncie rhymes. loses cuz... well, u know why

[e11even]

Bags- the fuck bro! Lol. That drop was refreshing in the midst of all the topically normal shit. I chuckled a few times. Thanks for helping me laugh at myself. I didn't get around to pinot's drop but this was still cool. Props for breaking J down. I'm sure a few people would appreciate lol. Cool shit.

Mr.j- I like how you ended that. The color angle was a little dry, but with some development this could have been a lot better. It's obvious you settled for not advancing, which sucks given you've been out for a minute. Thanks for showing.

MVGT Bags for a more complete entertaining drop.

[Frank]

Baggot's interpretation of the photograph was Blood Shed. The disfigurement of his opponent was clearly the objective of his approach, no? Obviously Baggot felt slighted by the lack of hype surrounding his Topical history on Netcees. Adonis was clueless about Baggots Campfire Story Telling Victory, in which Baggot roasted topical greats like Marshmallow. Still, Baggots verse embodied the photograph more, where as his counterpart attempted to squeak by with a verse better suited for a open mic cypher post, then a round 1 match of a prestigious tournament.

MVGT Baggot