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View Full Version : Week Four Magazine: Emily RatajORCski Edition


Orc
02-04-2016, 02:46 PM
Introduction
''I swear, bro. This Mag better be at least 4 out of 5 stars on Goodreads''........................



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Okay, so I've taken over the running of this shit for now while Allen is busy. Allen Knight will still be modding here, though. Hopefully he can help out as much as possible even though his schedule is tight. This magazine will consist of Reviews, Predictions, No Show Shine, and a Classic Battle. In the coming weeks I will add more to it. The previous week didn't merit Top Punches as I didn't feel like there were any. Those of you that are involved right now need to step the fuck up and those of you reading this shit that aren't in the league sign the fuck in. That's what you signed up for this site for, isn't it? You didn't sign up to read terrible threads in discussion. Or to read ironic posts from PancakeBrah. Or to chat amicably with people. This isn't Facebook. It's a fucking website for text battling. Do you know how lame it is to come to a text battle site to socialize? Jesus Christ. Text battling itself is nerdy enough. Stop this madness. Anyway, let's get into it.




Week Four: Battle Reviews
''Did he really drop that garbage?..........''


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Infiltration vs Destroyer

Infiltration has been decent enough since his latest name change from Thorne. He's flew under the radar at a consistent level. He's been around for quite some time and his delivery has that old-school RM feel to it. In this particular match, he had some decent bars. I didn't like his opener about the supposed ball so hard flip. That's a wack line to begin with so I can't believe anyone would steal it. No offense to my man Allen Knight. Anyway, the line you used to attack it was very clunky and awkwardly worded. Could have done better with the the execution. You stepped it up with the hidden charges line that was clever and a nice personal. Wasn't feeling the Crest dental strip line, creative idea but there's too much going on. It needs to connect with more fluidity. Grind Pops was okay, a light jab. I didn't get the Bagatron line. Lasting Impression is an old idea but the shroud of turin is an okay flip. Overall it was pretty cool verse. You need to step it up next week, though. Destroyer, the opener was decent enough. Your wording has improved significantly, man. Damn, Infintile was pretty hot too. I'm not sure what has or hasn't been done on Inf, but to me it was fresh. After that though, the verse fell flat. I don't like when people use some of their opponent's name as a play. The start of the name, sure, but not the middle or end. It's lazy and neverrr hits. Your meta knight was a cool flip on an old play (smash bro's). Shit to Wiz was relevant, it just wasn't a heavy hitting punch conceptually. Fileting on the ground I didn't like. Overall, I think it could have went either way -- neither really outshone the other. Voters saw it as a win for Infiltration as he walked away with a clean sweep of the votes.

Pinot Grij vs Cred

Pinot Grij is Pulse, right? A name that is to be respected, even now. He's made the move from Topical writing to Battling and the transition isn't easy to begin with. I like his style, though. I like anything that veers away from the safe NC Generic style. He had some decent bars; the Arnold was maybeee a little bit of a stretch phonetically but it was creative and I dug that. Sacred as a nameplay has been done but the Jew and Torah flips added to the overall impact. That Sesame Street Cred line was hot, though. Tough. More of that please. The xbox line was old but again you added relevancy with the Fallout 4 twist. The closer was nice too. I'm really feeling the wordplay. Creativity is what text needs right now. Keep it up. Cred came with his usual Gung Ho style. He has been doing Gun Bars since before ill Nik-a was born and he sticks to his formula. The boy doesn't sell out. That's to be admired. To be honest, though, I wasn't reaaally feeling the verse this week. I think the Gun Bar style needs to be really on point right now to hit. The Mozilla line was dope, I didn't really like much else. That Pin Up line could have hit, I just wanted a little bit more from it. Again, I respect the style; it just didn't land for me this week. Voters felt that Pinot Grij got the dub here, with him winning 4-2 in votes.

Schadenfreude vs CtrlF4

Schadenfreude appeared out of nowhere a while back rocking a strange Nazi name & dropping some cool verses. His blend of B-Boys and RM steez has worked nicely for him thus far. He reminds me of Roscoe Babbage, shout out to you if you remember Roscoe. I think sometimes he can over saturate his bars by trying to do too much -- let that shit breathe, boy! In this battle I liked the 4shadow line. The 2-2 line gets the head nod from me too, actually. I think that would be flames in a Live Battle. Actually remote control/program was okay too, I liked the connections you used. Ctrl on the other hand has a very NC born style. I remember when he first showed up and people thought he was an alias. The problem with Ctrl is that he struggles for motivation very quickly, and this was pretty evident here. He keyed up a light verse. I did like the hightail bar though and the Sharp line was funny. I hope you find some motivation and stick around, bro. You could do damage. Anyway, Schad won the battle.

Lotto Smirk vs Utmost

Lotto Smirk is an amicable young Englishman. That is also a huge compliment from me considering I'm Irish and, to the greater extent, my thought process is always ''Fuck the English''. He's still improving and the fact that he has stuck around is great to see. Too many people join this site and lose battles and don't want to improve so they leave. Lotto has taken his bruises and is now becoming a real threat. In this battle I liked the temple run concept, which was fresh to me. The rest was basic, unfortunately. He said he rushed it, though -- so thanks for even showing up, bud. As for Utmost, I think that he's from RB. I'm not too sure, but I feel like he is. Or maybe I'm thinking of Untold. Regardless, he can drop some pretty cool lines from what I've seen. I actually thought the Hissy Fit wordplay was okay. Smirk lines are played out, I liked the Alice flip though. The battle was really close for me, to be honest. I truthfully could have voted for Utmost. However, voters ruled the battle in Lotto's favour.


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Week 4: No show shine
''You mean that dude with the little dick didn't show?............''


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Hush vs Cryogen


Arms waving will have him out the game, shit is like charades
You'll hear a blast then see Cryogen in the air but it's no ice Grenade
It's simple but considering he hasn't battled in years we can rock with it being fresh. Hell, he's not around to say otherwise.
Gun regular size, but the clip big as a farm
When I pull it, it just keep going off nickname the fire arm the fire alarm
You're my good friend so I have no problem telling you that this is terrible.
the bulldog I'm gripping one of a kind, that's a rare breed
You won't notice me hidden at your front door I'm the spare keys
This is cool, would be hot in a live battle.
U never know when I'm a go off with a round. U Playing Russian roulette
u gonna meet the undertaker than get planted with a tombstone no wwf
Feel like the wordplay is old but the tie in's were sweet, I liked the execution too.
Red bandana on the hammer. Up close blast wet your entire shit
Brain fragments everywhere . I'll have ur skull all over this flag like a pirate ship
This was set up perfectly. I've seen similar in regards to the pirate flag but this was executed much much better.

It's a shame that Cryogen didn't show up. There was a time in text when that name meant something as he was dope as fuck in days gone by. Hush phoned this verse in and it was still nice. I liked the Pirate Flag line. It's great to have him in this league and I hope he continues to show and gets motivated.



Week Five Previews
''Mom, can there be less garbage dropped this week?

I hope so, son. I do very much hope so''...............''



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Championship Match: ill nik-A vs Infiltration

Both of these guys are unbeaten thus far in the league. I'm not sure either has been really tested as of yet. Still, it's an opportunity to champ the NBL, which means something in the world of text. I don't think either of these guys will ever get an easier route to the Championship match. Nik came off a NS win via Muffy -- which is strange considering the love that confused young lad has for text. I'm not sure who I think will come out with the win. I haven't read a nik verse in a while so I can't say what level he's at right now and I've only seen Inf's verse last week. I think that nik has the experience and has been here before, so the edge has to be with him. I hope Inf steps it up, though. Make it hot, guys.



Contendership Match: Pinot Grij vs Lotto Smirk


Again, I would urge both of you dudes to capitalise on this opportunity. You will not get an easier route to make a Championship match again all season. I guarantee you an influx of sign-ins which will make the league so much tougher. Lotto is still learning his trade and while his concepts are on point he's still working out what way to word them so that they're at their most effective. That's understandable, he's still fairly new to text. He's also not to be taken lightly. Pinot has shaken off his rust and has adapted fairly quick. I find that topical writers have terrible wording immediately after they abstain from that kind of writing. It's awkward and stiff. Pinot is the exception to this. I've been impressed with what I've seen from him. I think he will overpower Lotto here.


Destroyer vs Cred

Two household names. The Gangster from RB who shoots guns vs the white old dude who sells phones. Two juggernauts of text. Destroyer has come a long way from Tim Grady. He even beat me last season (robbed, tbh) and Cred has found his lane and stuck to it. I feel like if Cred is stubborn and drops gunbars the voters won't vibe to it. It's tired now. I only say that because of the phase where everyone was doing it, it's regrettable that Cred was doing it first. Destroyer had a decent enough showing last week and I think he will maybe put a little more effort in this week. Destroyer gets the nod from me here in a close one.

Hush vs Tic

A Legend vs a dude hungry to reach the top. This has potential to be great. I would love if both went 20 and really put on a show for the people. This league needs a spark right now. Hush dropped a light verse last week when his opponent noshowed and Tic hasn't battled here in a while. I do think that if both show that Hush will win due to his experience and the thing is with Hush is that his swagger in his verses can win matches alone. Tic is still pretty new to shortbar and his rise to above midtier has been lightning fast. How far can he go? I think if Hush shows up and drops heat he will win but it could very well be close. Tic has taken out Resin recently and that is no mean feat in itself.


Schadenfreude vs Useless

Useless came out of nowhere last season as Remy Lebeau and made some waves in the NBL. A lot of people thought that perhaps he was an alias. He then made the move over to RB where he champed the season of LLL. Although the competition is without a doubt weaker on that side of the pond, the accomplishment is not to be sniffed at. If he can shake off some wording issues he can be a real threat to the league. He also needs a new name. As for Schad, I've said already that his style is refreshing, it's a question of whether or not he makes his bars a little more concise at times. This match up is interesting stylistically and I personally can't wait to see who wins. As far as predictions go it's a toss up and I'm totally on the fence. I may have to lean slightly towards Useless because of his recent accomplishment but it will go down to the wire. I hope.

Slecht vs Wanderer

I'm not quite sure who slecht is but I seen the name pop up fairly recently. He seems to be fairly decent and dropped a nice verse against me over on RB not too long ago. He's currently 0-3 and signed into battle me which said a lot about the valor and bravery of this young text warrior. Unfortunately, at the minute the league has an odd number so I can't battle this week. If someone signs in, however, I will crush slecht like an Ant beneath my feet. I'm not really savvy on Wanderer to be honest. I feel bad. I'll do a quick search. Right, well he seems to be another strapping young man from England. His basics are decent enough it's just a matter of tweaking his execution so that his bars are more cohesive and hard hitting. I would suggest wording his lines a few different ways before deciding which one to use in the actual battle. It worked for me years ago. Anyway, I think Slecht is at a higher level than Wanderer at this time.




Classic Battle
''Man, I'm better than both of these faggots''.................


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For PXI, I know this pussy's ran the show…but dammit yo
Why's his eyebrows missin more than the winnin manic vote
Ill leave it alone, & bash him quicker, watch this faggot bicker,
though that's as far as the cheap shit goes…sorta like his jacket zipper
Im pullin ya card, this time I'm the master, cryin with laughter
Of how you look like a hopeless Lance Armstrong… dyin of cancer
Ajax is a dumb bitch, and out in public.. I'd clown his budget,
& help this loser out, like funds from the marathon he's about to run in
ya ugly as fuck...the clownin is here, for this mountain of queer
fuckit im buckin...you look like the doc pulled you out by your ears
you're a shitty lawyer as well…fuck coping within, I motion to lynch
after sports he knew his career..he wanted to keep approachin the bench
fuck is with all the white?...your not simes brother, you cockride others
& if im lookin at the face of the law, its true, they must NOT like coloreds
what is ya wardrobe?...this damn whore, lookin like Fab Four
looks more like Vadik lost his son for 20 yrs inside of a Champs Sports
ya girl is a whore, she aint feelin you, claimed I scored her at an orgy
so I fucked her…and had your punk ass file the restrainin order for me
Ronj is plain ugly...im poundin his prose...loungin with flows
& when we scrap...you'll need pads bigger than the one ya use to powder ya nose
I got a bitch of a task, this faggot is touchin it, grabbin n fuckin it
fuck judicials...you look like you got beat with all 3 branches of government
you arent winnin...ill rip this man, any votes? This bitch is bagged
cuz ever since Dennis Miller went off-air, all your shits been trash
with ya curved ass hat…im dispersin him for miles,
lookin like T-1000 morphed into a Wal-Mart sports apparel aisle
the courts hate you...im bolder than the rest, when i shoulder thru ya text
you get no love from the law...even your bitch holds you in contempt
with your disfigured nose…the finals is shit, stop whining , don't bitch
cuz you're only breathing heavy…so the gusts can help pilot your ship



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You gotta be kidding.

I was expectin' a less beatable Name....
Meetin' you in the Final's a Lett down to put Don Beebe's to shame.
It's plain to see you ain't ready for the Big Time, friend.
You're either deformed or ya camera rocks a fish eye lens.
Step aside n' let the best dude rock....
You put on a vial display. Ya should try openin' a Test Tube shop.
Sorry to say - That "Lost Weight" shit's uttered in jest,
Film STILL treats ya grill like ya skin's covered in Zest.
Bring RM to vote....no need to fear that.
The only RBL Posse worth notin' lost its leader years back.
Ya looks make ya fit for a CARNIE....
That Whig alone could bring back the long dead political party.
And, with your mangy goat - You're aptly quiet;
A Patch thinned out like THAT tops Robin Williams on the Atkins diet.
You're less of a soldier than a dolt.
You ain't seen a Class struggle since you studied up the Bolshevik revolt.
Your time ran out on you. That verse is a GONER.
You're feeling the Crunch; & got Nestle as your tournament sponsor.
You're not versed in what a brawl takes.
I got an endless reservoir of talent. You're fishin' from Utah's Salt Lakes.
Wasted hope's ALL ya got left ta play with....face it, Loc.
You'd blow chunks just from garglin' your Gravy-flavored Scope.
You KNOW Serge's loss gifted me a CLEAR win,
The gravity of the situation hit you and sucked both ya ears in.
I got ya losin', convincingly....
I'm EXPONENTIALLY better. That shit's deeply rooted in history.
Ya shit does NOT flow, I gotta ask ya to stop it.
Them lines go on Forever; I bet The Wu see half of your profits.
You'll NEVER find gold in them pages,
I just removed Island in good time and took atoll for the Ages....

That's it,

King me.

How good is Ajax, though? I would seriously encourage the up and comers or newer people to study his wording. Look at how concise it is. He doesn't add words that he doesn't need. This battle is years old and he would probably still be one of the best here. Not better than me, obviously -- but still pretty good.



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Outro
''Is that it? I'm not buying this propaganda bullshit anymore''...............

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Well, that's all she wrote for this week folks. If you lose this week, don't be a bitch and sign out. Be a bitch and get better and make other bitches sign out. Such is the circle of bitch. If you read this wonderfully written magazine and feel like you want some props off Orc the text legend then sign the fuck in. All of you lurkers sign in. I want Resin M-I-C, Fracture, Allen Knight, Knucklehead, Bags, Witty, Greed, Dominate, Unfukwitable, Dominate, David Lama, @Everyone. This is YOUR website, don't let it stagnate further.

Remember. This is the revival. Make it happen.

Resin M-I-C
02-04-2016, 02:51 PM
i like tic but he aint take me out whoever voted in that battle is hot garbage

solid mag

Witty
02-04-2016, 02:57 PM
Great job bro, and sure throw me in.

ill nik-A
02-04-2016, 03:07 PM
Witty ud no show ur funeral

Thx for getting a mag up

U wanna read my shit I just won fall brawl nigga

Check out my battle vs cat cook

Orc
02-04-2016, 03:11 PM
I'll read your verse this week haha.

Witty
02-04-2016, 03:13 PM
Witty ud no show ur funeral

Thx for getting a mag up

U wanna read my shit I just won fall brawl nigga

Check out my battle vs cat cook

Lmao I haven't no showed any battle in months!

Allen Knight
02-04-2016, 03:17 PM
dope shit Orc , i'll def help next week mag, this week been busy as fuck for me.

Saint
02-04-2016, 03:31 PM
Nice mag.

Destroyer
02-04-2016, 03:32 PM
good shit orc

Tic
02-04-2016, 04:10 PM
i like tic but he aint take me out whoever voted in that battle is hot garbage

solid mag
Wasn't sure I got that either but it's water under the bridge. Was a cool battle and you're a stand up dude.

Orc props this mag got me sorta pumped. Let's see if it works. Been a couple months.

ill nik-A
02-04-2016, 04:28 PM
I'll read your verse this week haha.

Move the spotlight battle vs resin here plz

Mexico was not helping me out

Cred
02-04-2016, 04:33 PM
Clean.


Dope ass mag Orc appreciate the effort bro.

Schadenfreude
02-04-2016, 04:47 PM
Much props, Orc. Breath life in this bitch.

Useless
02-04-2016, 11:36 PM
Dope mag


U hatin on the kid tho

Orc
02-05-2016, 08:32 PM
Dope mag


U hatin on the kid tho

Never.

Hush
02-07-2016, 09:12 AM
Ima go 20 for u bud


Fire mag

Fracture
02-07-2016, 01:27 PM
Great mag Orc

Unfukwitable
02-08-2016, 01:09 PM
dope shit bro

Orc
02-08-2016, 03:51 PM
Good looking out guys

murda sho
02-09-2016, 07:16 PM
Oh shit it's a mag...

Orc
02-09-2016, 08:37 PM
Oh shit it's a mag...

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