So you may know I have recently been diagnosed with OCD

[Witty]

I have also been told I have Metaphysical Anxiety, which I initially thought means that I'm some sort of nervous superhero. But no.

Anyone else fucked up in the brain box?

[UnbornBuddha]

Metaphysical anxiety? Sounds like something Deepak Chopra will diagnose someone with. A problem with modern psychology, in my opinion, is that it compartmentalizes everyone in this box of sorts, where everyone according to them has something. The human conundrum implies a form of suffering embedded in it, but psychologists try to neurotically exploit everyone through their narrow diagnostic parameters that shallowly interpret the human condition. Now, there are good psychologists out there, but psychology is very different than all the other sciences, it is not as scientifically rigorous simply because there is still little we know of the mind and brain chemistry, even though there are breakthroughs every day. Yet, even then this does not imply that this newfound knowledge is being utilized in the field. All that said I think psychologists do some good work, to some extent, but do project their insecurities as a field into their patients by coming up with absurd diagnoses for patients, ensuring everyone that comes to their office is afflicted with something. Point is, a second opinion is a good consideration.

[Eŋg]

i have neither of the things you're talking about probably because i wouldn't allow myself to be 'diagnosed' but flirt with existential angst now and then.

[Sharp]

I didn't know metaphysical anxiety existed a few minutes ago but it sounds like the most witty state of mind

We'll always support the Fox here tho

[Destroyer]

nah, I may have IBS though

[Witty]

I get what you guys are saying, I def have OCD tho, otherwise I wouldn't feel like I had to kill myself if I didn't count syllables from random sentences I heard, beginning on the little finger and not stopping until the string of syllables ends on the thumb. Or if I don't drink exactly half a cup of coffee in the morning, have a smoke, drink the rest, and repeat this until I feel ok. Among other things.

I also wouldn't drive myself crazy obsessing on my behaviour and picking apart every moment of my life which may mean I am going to be a bad person in the future, and finding something completely insignificant and convincing myself it means I am evil.

[Destroyer]

I used to do the syllable count thing but instead of my fingers I used parts of heads like the ears, then the eyes, each nostril and then the mouth, ending on the mouth
I may have a minor case of this

[Witty]

If you didn't do it, did you feel like life was no longer worth living, or that you will probably get cancer, or any other type of serious illness?

[Destroyer]

no, I just did it for no real reason while realizing it was strange to do
when I was a kid I would hear "whisper screams?" (best way I can describe it) in my head
I figured it was just weird shit my mind did

[Witty]

I am by no means qualified to make any sort of diagnosis, but I have learned that many people have OCD in some form, but it doesn't take over their life or their mind...it's only when this happens that it is something that needs to be treated. In it's mild form, apparently, it historically was one of the things essential to human survival, the need to obsessively think things through, so it isn't necessarily a bad thing, only when it starts to control you.

[veritas]

What is the obsession that the compulsions ease?

[Witty]

What is the obsession that the compulsions ease?

The obsession is that one day I will become evil, not right now, but in the future. That I will do evil things to those I love and that I will lose my sense of humanity and my moral compass. The things I do calm that somewhat, and if I don't do them I sink to a dark place where I often feel like killing myself is the only way to ensure I die a good person. I also obsess that if I don't do it I will get some sort of disease as punishment.

Welcome to my mind people, it's awesome lmao

btw I have never attempted suicide, I always manage to pull myself through it, because I have to.

[Destroyer]

you must enjoy watching Shakespeare plays

[Ghost1]

This girl I worked w was OCD

Doesn't seem like she was as severe as ur describing....she said she had actually gotten alot better since wen she was younger tho. She said too about like if she didn't satiate her obsession then that feeling of "something bad" was gonna happen would overcome her. She would never go into detail as to wat the bad somethings were tho.........I'm assuming prolly similar to wat ur saying an she just didn't wanna freak me out lol. She just would like organize her desk a certain way tho an flick light switches an tap her nose an weird number sequential things.....nothing g like being obsessed with her potential success or failures.....that seems fucking crippling. Fuck.

[uh-oh]

I eat exactly one small bag of chilli cheese fritos on my lunch breaks with whatever else im eating. Although sometimes i dont eat fritos and get doritos, cheetos or even pickle chips. What im saying is i cant relate.

I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety before tho. They put me on meds that literally did nothing even after they upped them twice, so i stopped taking them cold turkey and nothing happened and my state of mind is exactly the same as its always been.

I think its all make believe horse shit to make you feel better because life is shit.

I dont know about ocd tho. You should try maybe not doing that.

This ends this installment of no help uhoh.may the fox be with you

[Mr. J]

chronic masturbation isn't OCD Witty
























kidding....I have dabbled with the thought that I have OCD due to my need to clean
after watching a movie most recently involving a psychopathic dentist who said cleaning calms him
I have arrived to the conclusion I may be psychotic...

[YDK]

Ocd ADHD manic depression and a few other things I cant remember

[dull boy]

I was also recently diagnosed with OCD <3

As was touched on previously itt, I think we all have 'peculiar' personality traits that everyone, not just psychologists, like to stick a label on. Humans like to categorize. It's a mistake, because it perpetuates states of being that would otherwise not become an issue. I struggle with the idea of sending my son to talk to someone, because part of me worries it will only solidify the idea of him having an issue in his own head...

Many (not all) psychological issues seem to be heavily influenced by the person's paranoia of an issue. It's a loop. Like a mental habit.

I've been told I have PTSD and I also suffer from depersonalization, which is an extreme form of emotional detachment, not only from people, but from your own sense of personal reality. Basically, nothing feels real. It's born out of being overly occupied with your own thoughts, and the why of your own thoughts. Sometimes people will be talking to me and I feel as though I'm watching a movie. I sometimes have anxiety attacks because I'm afraid that I'm losing my sanity. There are good days and bad days. A lot of it seems to depend on my mood, and whether or not I'm feeling good about my life. My self analyzing will have me pondering whether my personality, or the personality of others is nothing more than an advanced coping mechanism. I've broken my emotional existence down to a primal level that sometimes feels robotic, but ultimately is just hyper aware. I feel sick that I can't just watch baseball and enjoy things like most other people.

[Mr. J]

a majority of that sounds like me as well...perhaps...anxiety is a bitch as well

[sral]

lmao wow its some real faggots weirdos and lames on this website, just as suspected

shouts to my wiggas who still normal as fuck and don't need an acronym of capitalised letters to define their pathetic existence

[Ghost1]

LMFAO

[dull boy]

lmao wow its some real faggots weirdos and lames on this website, just as suspected

shouts to my wiggas who still normal as fuck and don't need an acronym of capitalised letters to define their pathetic existence

HAHA OMG HILARIOUS YOURE THE FUNNIEST KID IN THE CLASS

[sral]

lmao maybe its because you're a lipstick wearing scrawny as fuck introverted depressive faggot

maybe its maybelline

[sral]

http://i58.tinypic.com/294scuh.jpg

I was also recently diagnosed with OCD <3

As was touched on previously itt, I think we all have 'peculiar' personality traits that everyone, not just psychologists, like to stick a label on. Humans like to categorize. It's a mistake, because it perpetuates states of being that would otherwise not become an issue. I struggle with the idea of sending my son to talk to someone, because part of me worries it will only solidify the idea of him having an issue in his own head...

Many (not all) psychological issues seem to be heavily influenced by the person's paranoia of an issue. It's a loop. Like a mental habit.

I've been told I have PTSD and I also suffer from depersonalization, which is an extreme form of emotional detachment, not only from people, but from your own sense of personal reality. Basically, nothing feels real. It's born out of being overly occupied with your own thoughts, and the why of your own thoughts. Sometimes people will be talking to me and I feel as though I'm watching a movie. I sometimes have anxiety attacks because I'm afraid that I'm losing my sanity. There are good days and bad days. A lot of it seems to depend on my mood, and whether or not I'm feeling good about my life. My self analyzing will have me pondering whether my personality, or the personality of others is nothing more than an advanced coping mechanism. I've broken my emotional existence down to a primal level that sometimes feels robotic, but ultimately is just hyper aware. I feel sick that I can't just watch baseball and enjoy things like most other people.

[dull boy]

lmao maybe its because you're a lipstick wearing scrawny as fuck introverted depressive faggot

maybe its maybelline

Doesn't have the same ring to it, but you should write for ABC sitcoms or something.

I wear lipstick. I'm skinny. I don't socialize. I'm depressed. I'm gay.

Why do you sound like a 12 year old on the internet? Oh, you think it's funny. My fault. Carry on with your wildly entertaining routine.

[dull boy]

I'm anxiously awaiting the top notch hilarity you're no doubt over there slaving away at conceiving. Something about my mother, perhaps. Another rehashing of a colloquialism everyone's no doubt heard used as a punchline in every comedy show ever written. Your contribution to this thread can't be overstated. Thank you for the barrel of laughs, sir.

[sral]

LMAO @ THE SELDOM SEEN DOUBLE-POST OF DEPRESSION

GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING YOUR STAY HERE YOU PTSD SUFFERING ANXIETY ATTACK AT THE KEYBOARD SCARED TO GO OUTSIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE SOCIALLY AWKWARD AND LOOK LIKE YOU COULD BE BODIED BY AN UNEXPECTED GUST OF WIND LABIA RING IN THE MOUTH WEARING BALD PUSSY FAGGOT

A FEW YEARS AGO AT THE HEIGHT OF MY DRUG USE I'D HAVE LEGIT LET YOU GIVE ME A BLOWJOB WITH THEM PINK PUSSY LIPS AND YOUR EFFEMINATE HIGH CHEEK BONED LOOK TBC AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'D HAVE FUCKED YOU STRAIGHT IN THE ASS AND MADE YOU DO THINGS WORTHY OF ACTUALLY CRYING ABOUT LIKE "BITCH, CLEAN YOUR FUCKING SHIT OFF MY SHAFT WITH YOUR TONGUE WHEN I'M DONE FUCKING YOU!!!!!!!!!" THATS JUST KEEPING IT A HUNDRED AHAHAHAHAHAHA

THEN I'D HAVE LIT UP ONE OF YOUR NEWPORTS AND BLOWN THE SMOKE BACK IN YOUR SORRY EMO BITCH ZERO FRIEND HAVING FACE AFTER I'D MADE YOU EAT MY JIZZ FROM YOUR PERFORATED ASSHOLE

PLEASE SHUT THE ENTIRE FUCK UP WHEN ADDRESSING ME YOU FAG

ROFLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ x INFINITY

[dull boy]

Yeah.

[sral]

YOU LOOK LIKE AMBER ROSE WITH CANCER BRO

[dull boy]

I'm happy for you that you're still able to impress yourself with narratives about how superior you are over the internet, while speaking with the demeanor a pre-teen male. It's fascinating. You're so cool.

Btw, those pictures are of another person, but it's not like it matters in your internet realm of lunchroom flaming.

[sral]

LMAO YOU'RE VERITAS IF HE WAS DEPRESSED AND HAD A GILLETTE TO HAND

[Ghost1]

Lmao well this escalated rather quickly

[Blam Newton]

Geez.

[Mr. J]

Lmao well this escalated rather quickly

Beat me to it..

[dull boy]

I see you tagging me in other threads. Talking about the mood you're in and how it's causing you to act out (on the internet).

ignore me, I've been in a devilish mood all day tbh stirring the pot in disc for no reason at all

'When I'm feeling pissy I go online and take out my frustrations by behaving childish because I don't know how to deal with my feelings like a grown up.'

[Diode]

tbc dull boy and christian are not the same person, lars.

[sral]

lmao it's not even pissy, devilish means mischievous you pathetic waste of a good pair of dicksucking lips

[Chill Phil]

Don't take pills bruh...that shit fucks with your brain, no bueno

[dull boy]

lol

You conduct yourself like a boy. I'm not judging you, either. I recognize different people are in different phases, and you may want to pretend you don't understand this 'psychobabble', but you do. You trolling? Cool. I'm taking bait? Cool. You're some alpha-male getting his jollies off by writing homosexual narratives about men licking their shit off your dick in ALL CAPS? Dooooope. Carry on, well adjusted guy on the internet.

Pissy. Aggressive. Devilish. Playful. Whatever you wanna label it as, you just came in here throwing adolescent insults at people being real... and that's fine. Do your thing.

[Ghost1]

Vintage dull boy

[Witty]

Lol this went interesting places.

To be clear, I don't consider this something that defines my life or who I am, it's just good to learn why I feel a certain way sometimes or do certain things I can't explain. It's not like I'm sitting dwelling on it, I'm building a family and a future, I seem to be well liked by pretty much anyone I know socially, I consider learning how my mind works and accepting this form of mental illness in order to make my future, and my family's future as happy as possible, quite essential. Which is why I am only now choosing to address it. It's ok to laugh at it, I do, my gf does, my family do...cuz a lot of the odd things i do are funny as fuck, but yeah...I like to consider myself a well balanced and responsible person who knows he has things to overcome and is working on doing so.

[Saint]

ADHD here.

[Saint]

oh just read the thread it got derailed fuck me

[Witty]

Lmao I would be disappointed if it didn't.

The day someones personal afflictions are not mocked and ridiculed on netcees, is the day netcees dies forever. sraL loves me, but he has a role...he does what he has to do.

I'ma still body him in a whiskey drinking contest tho.

[sral]

YOU A GLASS OF WHISKEY HALF EMPTY FAGGOT

ID MOVE YOUR BEERMAT TO A NON 45 DEGREE ANGLE AND YOU WOULD BURST INTO A FLOOD OF TEARS BIGGER THAN GIRUGAMESH

P.S I'M IN IRELAND FROM GOOD FRIDAY TIL THE START OF APRIL HOLLA ATCHA BOY

[Witty]

Lol you'd be in the gutter while I'm still working on getting a buzz.

[Mike Wrecka]

I clicked on this thread to confirm that I'm way more awesome than all of u


Thread did not disappoint

[Witty]

The fact you needed that self esteem boost speaks volumes.

[El Muffin]

Mike a diagnosed fgt thooo if that's any compensation

[Pharaohs Army]

i don't know guys. it's kinda hard to explain.
i've been thinking about making a 'goodbye'(from this site)type-verse, which of course would be "from myself" (pharaohs), and it'd be totally epic and deep and from a 100% real place from my inner core. And I'd write it and edit it for a period of days instead of sitting down for a half hour and making it up as I go. But I doubt I could do either thing (leave / write properly).. so that's just an idea I'm floating now since a certain user here has actually hit a few sore spots of late. Particularly where he had a line that kind of "spoke for the community of he and netcees".. just really clever and fucked. I'm sure something will hit me as far as a great response for him but it's starting to (finally) get to the point where it's starting to get a little bit unhealthy and masochistic.

Speaking of him, emcee has always had an idea in mind where he writes a "medical verse for the buddha", which basically would be a syllabic extravaganza which PROPERLY rhymed a shit-ton of medical/mental terminology, and it could only be spit by rappers who know what they're doing. Again, it'd have to be researched (not a field I'm familiar with), and also written with discipline and effort, where the rhyming would be a "given" but the content and cohesion would be sick as well.

Recently I've come to the conclusion that being an editor is my calling in life. I'm wondering the "ethics" of becoming an editor for college kids' research papers&essays (I'm reallllly good; I can do it where I don't change their content but just nip and tuck expertly).. I donno. Probly hard to make a living on that, but we can all dream right?

Truly Laughed out loud at a few things Lars said here. I really wanna quote but I donno- find your own favorites.

Dull boy I feel kinda bad for you because sometimes shit just 'is what it is', but I understand you may have an actual chemical imbalance. Like do you ever just think 'fuk i dont need dat bitch and the world is actually cool becuz i'm ridin round blunted n dont giv a fuk'? or do you ever think 'this mindless show is really funny and i love the taste of this unhealthy snack while i watch it'. lol
Really a hypocritical move on my part to ask you these questions-- just curious tbh

Godcomplex aka Buddha you're right bro; well said.

I hope I'm not too much of an embarrassment as far as my extreeme overuse of the "feedback topic". If I'm being honest I cannot stop myself. Sorry.

Everyone to some extent feels different and fluctuates and has different perspectives... it's taken me a lot of overcoming denial but on some occasions I can see where mine can be very real and very extreme and very rapid. It's actually enjoyable and fun sometimes, but not everyone can be an energizer bunny forever. Sometimes there's a price to pay, so to speak.

As far as writing goes I am just absolutely intrigued to no end about the 2 polar extremes of a writing process-- 1)where ideas for multiples and sickly structured phrases come to mind while I'm trying to fall asleep (specially shortly after a lonnng weed binge; which we've stopped for now but that's a whole nother can of worms),, anyways I save sick little snippets and send them to my own e-mail, then I have a really fun time piecing them together and making something out of them. Of course I fill in the gaps on the fly, but the initial rhymes give me not only a schematic idea but also a content idea.... then 2)you've got what Zen told me about, where you could write EXACTLY what you "wanna say" and then work on making it rhyme... I've dabbled in this a little bit but it's hard because it's something I have to "do", as opposed to #1 which just comes naturally.. but tbh a lot of times i just #3)start on blankslate... #1 is when I write "well" though, as far as shit i can rap and should record.

N.e.wayz I like writing; bbl
Lars, insult me freely.
you're fine witty; cheers

[Destroyer]

I've determined by the fact that I got no love for my Shakespeare joke that I am boarding with a bunch of idiots
just kidding, I realized that fact long ago

[Mr. J]

But Shakespeare writes comedies..

[Pharaohs Army]

Well, had a hard days work for the first time in a few weeks, and then went to bed real early and forced myself to go back to sleep after a few times of waking up.


And now I feel totally normal..just night&day.. And like "WTF was I doing with some of the things I was writing here on the lime?" In fact, before falling back2sleep to finish the sleep, I actually thought about the logistics of erasing 95% of my posts, both rap and discussion, just because I think "shame" had entered back into my being (like normal humans have).. haha.. (I would have kept emcee's tho because he is dope "more often" than I am, plus it'd be "entertaining evidence" for why I was bullied off the site)..

...But then I read this post I made here and it's "not that bad".. tbh.. Really not too embarrassing.. some ya'll should be proud that certain threads inspired me to "post as a real human" even if some of it was fucked up "life shit"..

So now that I'm feeling normal, I think to myself: ok, I'm probably bipolar and a degenerate who writes too much material and talks too much shit... big fucking deal-- I'm incredibly well-adjusted compared to 80% of the weirdos here-- like emos, and conspiracy theorists, and former druggies who used to perpetrate in sadistic and graphic gay sex acts, and "serial boarders" who validate their life by making an epic reply,,

So really I've come to embrace the lime; and I blame you All.

[Pharaohs Army]

And witty, I'm sure a lot of things you've mentioned could be 'real OCD', but counting syllables is normal dude-- just means you're a writer/emcee.

(btw Lars, I haven't encountered any great 'every day multies' in a long time.. maybe my radar is just off and i haven't been paying enough attention)

So, witty, I actually have an intrinsic 'feel' for syllables; I don't bother counting my own or other ppls... But I could be overestimating my instincts.. I remember a couple years ago I wrote something (only time I've ever done it) where I made SURE all the lines were either 7 or 10 syllabies... Was really orders of magnitude better than a lot of my things... So should probably pay more attn to syllable counts but w/e

few days ago i was keystylin something and had a couple bars that were like
"some well respected scholars
and maybe they could tell you"

i wrote it in like 1 second, and then later on I looked at it and was like, "sweet, both those lines r 7 syllables"

[Pharaohs Army]

The obsession is that one day I will become evil, not right now, but in the future. That I will do evil things to those I love and that I will lose my sense of humanity and my moral compass. The things I do calm that somewhat, and if I don't do them I sink to a dark place where I often feel like killing myself is the only way to ensure I die a good person. I also obsess that if I don't do it I will get some sort of disease as punishment.

Welcome to my mind people, it's awesome lmao

btw I have never attempted suicide, I always manage to pull myself through it, because I have to.

I hate to 'box anyone in' to a particular diagnosis, and I admittedly don't know the ins&outs of psychology, but (hate to tell you) this sounds a little bit worse than OCD... like, schizophrenia or some shit. Be careful mang

[Witty]

Lol nah man, it's really not as bad as admittedly that post makes it seem, those feelings apparently are normal for people with OCD, and it's very rare it gets to a stage where it becomes overpowering. I'm sane and rational, just with what are called 'intrusive thoughts' which many people have but just don't obsess on them. I don't get mood swings or anything like that, and honestly unless you know me very very well you wouldn't know I have OCD at all, basically my thoughts say 'you have to do this, and if you don't bad things will happen' so i do them and it's all good...now I'm learning not to do them and to rationalise those thoughts and face them head on, which is helping a lot.

[Witty]

And with the syllable thing, yeah absolutely, many many people do things like that as a habit, that type of OCD behaviour is very normal, it's when you feel like you HAVE to do it and in order not to it takes significant mental strength to avoid doing it, that it's an indicator of something else.

[Witty]

Triple post of shame.

But yo, I'm not one to have a huge ego, but I consider myself a lot stronger, mentally, than most...cuz I deal with this shit on a daily basis and still live a good life, and be a good person. This shit doesn't make me weak, it makes me strong.

[sral]

And witty, I'm sure a lot of things you've mentioned could be 'real OCD', but counting syllables is normal dude-- just means you're a writer/emcee.

(btw Lars, I haven't encountered any great 'every day multies' in a long time.. maybe my radar is just off and i haven't been paying enough attention)

So, witty, I actually have an intrinsic 'feel' for syllables; I don't bother counting my own or other ppls... But I could be overestimating my instincts.. I remember a couple years ago I wrote something (only time I've ever done it) where I made SURE all the lines were either 7 or 10 syllabies... Was really orders of magnitude better than a lot of my things... So should probably pay more attn to syllable counts but w/e

few days ago i was keystylin something and had a couple bars that were like
"some well respected scholars
and maybe they could tell you"

i wrote it in like 1 second, and then later on I looked at it and was like, "sweet, both those lines r 7 syllables"

lol me and MMLP play the EDM game all the time via WhatsApp

theres quite a few in peoples random FB posts

saw one on a sports page about the Premier League that had "Top four lock horns" recently which was pretty good

[veritas]

Fox,

Your problem is that you consider yourself a good person to begin with. Search your feelings and get back to me.

[Witty]

I am a good person tho :\ I treat people well, I help those I can.

Not a saint but I do my part.

[sral]

SHUT THE FUCK UP

TEXT ME YOUR NUMBER SO I CAN HOLLER WHEN I'M OVER THERE IN 3 WEEKS TIME

I'LL RE-IMPRGNATE YOUR BLOW UP DOLL OF A GIRLFRIEND THEN MESS UP YOUR FILING CABINET AND LEAVE A STEAMING PILE OF MY OWN EXCREMENT INSIDE WITH A FLAG SAYING "YOURS TRULY, ENGLAND" FAGGOT