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View Full Version : OG Smokinstein 0-2 Vs Wanderer 1-3 - (Wanderer wins)


Allen Knight
03-06-2016, 07:23 PM
NBL Season 9


Due THURSDAY

Minimum - 10 lines
Max - 20 lines
Line limit can increase if both agree

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Og smokinstein Wanderer

Wanderer
03-07-2016, 02:34 AM
Check

Og smokinstein
03-08-2016, 12:30 AM
check.. how many lines Wanderer

Wanderer
03-08-2016, 06:50 AM
12? Og smokinstein

Wanderer
03-08-2016, 04:07 PM
I'll shiv this cunt in the abdomen for cheating to fuse a win
So you can recycle internals all you like.. that kindey'll never be used again
probs molested as a kid but I can help. the blade will bury depression
Opening you up til horrible shit starts to spill out, that's a therapy session
You're boring & I know why You'll never claim a girls hand
Cos If there's ever a chick who Smoke Meats you know she doesn't like anything bland
I'm status and money to bitches so this joke's shook
you ain't ever flicked through paper, that's why your girl remains a closed book
1 right hook & you're quittin hard. Trusstt me this fist Smart,
I make professional contact with the hands like an exchange of business cards
& ya girl's like a fuck train. Dudes been nailing her for weeks in your joint
I mean menopausing for breaks then going back for more til she reaches that point
People wanna see you savagely beaten & ill oblige cos I gotta man
Waste him wit the bat or shooter? Everyone chants for the club like soccer fans

Og smokinstein
03-10-2016, 11:10 AM
Ext

Og smokinstein
03-11-2016, 08:41 PM
Let wanderer trip and ill book him room, for a vacation in a graveyard of some sort.
Could've been the Palms or The Ramada inn, but you chose dying as the last Resort.
Cause what I write is sick, terminal,-get- destroyed like a plane crashing into a airport.
I'm Omar with a Newport, I grew up in the trenches- with-the-shotty-smoking.
That Mossberg I'm toting like a bad Defensive Back,it'll leave the receiver wide open.
It kickback like a badass kid behind you on a flight, so if Usain/you sane blot then.
I'm the wrong nigga to be provoking, give your last Girlfriend a choppa for combat.
That jus means, youll get the sig by the Ex like the bottom of a contract.

I gotta ill mind, and a cell phone full of killers, that's crazy contacts like Hopsin eyes.
Each one kill you in the field, cause beef get-lead-out in the pasture ,like a cattle drive.
your bitch on a mission think Watergate; operation-deep-throat like a tonsillectomy
She handle that gag-order better than, a witnesses in a trial of a celebrity.

I got 45th bullet with wanderer's name on, with intentions of doing him especially bad.
Soon as I cock it back, wanderer in the middle of the dessert like a nomad.

Hush
03-12-2016, 03:35 PM
I'll shiv this cunt in the abdomen for cheating to fuse a win
So you can recycle internals all you like.. that kindey'll never be used again
----The hell does fuse a win mean lol punch is ok but the bar is a L cuz of he nonsensical setup
probs molested as a kid but I can help. the blade will bury depression
Opening you up til horrible shit starts to spill out, that's a therapy session
---fire good setup too
You're boring & I know why You'll never claim a girls hand
Cos If there's ever a chick who Smoke Meats you know she doesn't like anything bland
---nah
I'm status and money to bitches so this joke's shook
you ain't ever flicked through paper, that's why your girl remains a closed book
---kinda cool
1 right hook & you're quittin hard. Trusstt me this fist Smart,
I make professional contact with the hands like an exchange of business cards
---concept is super fire execution is so so
& ya girl's like a fuck train. Dudes been nailing her for weeks in your joint
I mean menopausing for breaks then going back for more til she reaches that point
---eh don't really dig this but the wp ain't bad it's just not good to me
People wanna see you savagely beaten & ill oblige cos I gotta man
Waste him wit the bat or shooter? Everyone chants for the club like soccer fans
---dope ass concept again just the execution isn't "there"



Let wanderer trip and ill book him room, for a vacation in a graveyard of some sort.
Could've been the Palms or The Ramada inn, but you chose dying as the last Resort.
---nah concept good but u ain't do it justice and the scheme was drawn out
Cause what I write is sick, terminal,-get- destroyed like a plane crashing into a airport.
I'm Omar with a Newport, I grew up in the trenches- with-the-shotty-smoking.
---I see the internal rhyme and the punch is cool but wording is just off here
That Mossberg I'm toting like a bad Defensive Back,it'll leave the receiver wide open.
It kickback like a badass kid behind you on a flight, so if Usain/you sane blot then.
---the defensive line fire. Bolt line played tho IMO
I'm the wrong nigga to be provoking, give your last Girlfriend a choppa for combat.
That jus means, youll get the sig by the Ex like the bottom of a contract.
--/fire
I gotta ill mind, and a cell phone full of killers, that's crazy contacts like Hopsin eyes.
Each one kill you in the field, cause beef get-lead-out in the pasture ,like a cattle drive.
---hopsin line is fire . 2nd line not so much
your bitch on a mission think Watergate; operation-deep-throat like a tonsillectomy
She handle that gag-order better than, a witnesses in a trial of a celebrity.
---ideas are fire but damn b ur wording is hurt this week and it's usually my fav thing about ur verses
I got 45th bullet with wanderer's name on, with intentions of doing him especially bad.
Soon as I cock it back, wanderer in the middle of the dessert like a nomad.
---fire



Both had dope angles here

I got wanderer By a slim margin cuz og smoke wasn't on his usual form IMO and let a few rounds fumble
V wand

Schadenfreude
03-12-2016, 05:40 PM
Smoke meats, business cards & closer.
Your wording really hurt u, the quotes were due to the concepts, but u need to polish up the wording/execution.

Sig by the Ex, Hopsin's eye, Tonsilectomy/Gag order, Nomad.
Your style's dope imo, the only problem is some of yo concepts haven't aged well..lol, otherwise sick drop.

Overall OG SMOKESTEIN took this, Wanderer's awkward wording really defeated his better concepts.

Cable
03-12-2016, 07:42 PM
therapy session, Smoke Meats, business cards

from wanderer where really nice


&


bottom of contract, gag order

from og were dope


close battle, i can see this going either way but i got wanderer winning this by one more bar.

og had some dope setups that coulda been used as bars like the hopsin one.
gag order line was nice from og also, Wanderer thearpy session bar was dope. good battle.

e11even
03-13-2016, 01:15 AM
I'll shiv this cunt in the abdomen for cheating to fuse a win
So you can recycle internals all you like.. that kindey'll never be used again
Lol. Nice.
probs molested as a kid but I can help. the blade will bury depression
Opening you up til horrible shit starts to spill out, that's a therapy session
Lol.
You're boring & I know why You'll never claim a girls hand
Cos If there's ever a chick who Smoke Meats you know she doesn't like anything bland
Eh.
I'm status and money to bitches so this joke's shook
you ain't ever flicked through paper, that's why your girl remains a closed book
So-so
1 right hook & you're quittin hard. Trusstt me this fist Smart,
I make professional contact with the hands like an exchange of business cards
dope
& ya girl's like a fuck train. Dudes been nailing her for weeks in your joint
I mean menopausing for breaks then going back for more til she reaches that point
Forced, but decent.
People wanna see you savagely beaten & ill oblige cos I gotta man
Waste him wit the bat or shooter? Everyone chants for the club like soccer fans
Lol

Let wanderer trip and ill book him room, for a vacation in a graveyard of some sort.
Could've been the Palms or The Ramada inn, but you chose dying as the last Resort.
Nice opener.
Cause what I write is sick, terminal,-get- destroyed like a plane crashing into a airport.
I'm Omar with a Newport, I grew up in the trenches- with-the-shotty-smoking.
Rushed the setup-punch rhyming. Setup was an ok punch.
That Mossberg I'm toting like a bad Defensive Back,it'll leave the receiver wide open.
It kickback like a badass kid behind you on a flight, so if Usain/you sane blot then.
No. Old style formatting. Not necessary.
I'm the wrong nigga to be provoking, give your last Girlfriend a choppa for combat.
That jus means, youll get the sig by the Ex like the bottom of a contract.
Nice.
I gotta ill mind, and a cell phone full of killers, that's crazy contacts like Hopsin eyes.
Each one kill you in the field, cause beef get-lead-out in the pasture ,like a cattle drive.
A little forced. Ok punch.
your bitch on a mission think Watergate; operation-deep-throat like a tonsillectomy
She handle that gag-order better than, a witnesses in a trial of a celebrity.
Lol.
I got 45th bullet with wanderer's name on, with intentions of doing him especially bad.
Soon as I cock it back, wanderer in the middle of the dessert like a nomad.
Bad wording. Not digging the punch.

This could have been better imo. MVGT Wanderer for the overall better performance.

jilti
03-13-2016, 12:40 PM
Therapy session, smoke meats, closed book, business cards, reaches that point, soccer fans

Vs.

Last resort, sig by the ex, beef get lead out, gag order, wanderer in the middle of the desert


Got it 6-5 in favor of Wanderer
Probably my favorite battle to read this week. Good job and creativity by both

Pinot Grij
03-13-2016, 04:58 PM
Wanderer, opener is a cool concept, but I don't know how many peopel recycle their internal rhymes.. like it's a bit of a faulty premise, but still a good idea in execution.
The second bar is dope. Great writing.
Smoke Meats was a dope concept, but I feel coulda been made much harsher.
Flicked thru paper is a cool idea too.
Business cards is dope.
Menopause is dope.
Closer was dope.

I gotta say I was pretty impressed with the variety of concepts. Even though a few were a bit of, or missed, it was still cool to see you try alotta different angles.


OG - opener coulda been harsher.
The next two bars are so off format, I don't know what to make of them.. I guess the rhyming is just really bad. The defensive back concept is pretty dope. The Usain Bolt shit, that double-spelling stuff doesn't really fly with this crowd. I'm not a fan personally.
Contract line is cool, but it's hard to imagine dude's ex-girlf shooting him with an assault rifle just cuz you gave her the gun, lmao. Namean?
Beef lines are played.
Rest kinda fell off.

I gotta vote for Wanderer. OG is cool, but I just think needs to get more acclimated to the NC tastes.