quarter

[Zen]

After Father died,
she left home on the morning of Easter Grace. She told me, “son, I’ll see ya. Won’t you be a good boy, and just stay?” "Tell me, why are you leaving?" I think she couldn’t stand to see his face. She told me on the steps, “boy, don’t you sleep through the gorgeous days.”

Foster Child,
come and stay a little while, and you best say your morning's Grace. Jesus Christ didn’t save your life so that you could go and throw it away. He don't need no heathen, child. Go sit in your corner and think. Don’t make me hit ya now. Good little boys obey.

Won’t ya tell me there, Teacher,
won't ya tell me there's a War in the States? Tell me bout our leader that the Good Lord born to be great. I only know I don’t need ya. No, ya only want me to conform to your tastes. I don’t need no job neither. You best believe I’m worth more than you think.

From couch to couch,
I made my miles baking in the Georgian haze. She was from Oklahoma. Told me those boys only wanted to play. She only knows she don't dance anymore. She was concerned more with the drink. Pointing at the jukebox, she said, “A quarter’s worth more in the bank.”

:)

[Eŋg]

thoughtful snapshots become a a sort of mini time-skipping storyboard.

interesting shit.

[Mr. J]

This was pretty smooth, almost like a mini comic book from scene to scene
I enjoyed the transitioning of this because it felt like there was more said in so little
from the growth to the pain to the knowledge & ending on a thoughtful approach
smooth shit Zen, nice to see you around.

[Dabble MC]

After Father died,
she left home on the morning of Easter Grace. She told me, “son, I’ll see ya. Won’t you be a good boy, and just stay?” "Tell me, why are you leaving?" I think she couldn’t stand to see his face. She told me on the steps, “boy, don’t you sleep through the gorgeous days."
-----

firstly, your style is wildly original. I really like that. the dialogue is a bit weird, but this might be a period piece. anyhow, props on the originality.




Foster Child,
come and stay a little while, and you best say your morning's Grace. Jesus Christ didn’t save your life so that you could go and throw it away. He don't need no heathen, child. Go sit in your corner and think. Don’t make me hit ya now. Good little boys obey.
----

interesting stanza. the subject matter really feels from the industrial age. but im intrigued for sure.




Won’t ya tell me there, Teacher,
won't ya tell me there's a War in the States? Tell me bout our leader that the Good Lord born to be great. I only know I don’t need ya. No, ya only want me to conform to your tastes. I don’t need no job neither. You best believe I’m worth more than you think.
----

ah, civil war era? coming together nice now. this segment in particular reminded me of Pink Floyds welcome to the machine.



From couch to couch,
I made my miles baking in the Georgian haze. She was from Oklahoma. Told me those boys only wanted to play. She only knows she don't dance anymore. She was concerned more with the drink. Pointing at the jukebox, she said, “A quarter’s worth more in the bank.”
-----

this is why you called it quarter, nice. are the four segments meant to represent a dollar or am I reaching at this point?

overall, was an enjoyable read. kept things interesting for sure. nice short drop. wasnt mad at it at all.

[Zen]

I really hope Split's car didn't break down on him :(

[PancakeBrah]

Split's good talked to him an hour ago.

Did that one piece of yours ever get HOF'd? It should have. If it didn't it was a travesty, as far as Netcees OM HOF's go.

This was also good! Your ability to inject pathos into small vignettes or broken up narratives is unique. It's mostly the wording. All of your pieces are compact in the micro sense, a pummeling of phrases that worm around in the mind. Always a favorite to read. Thanks!

[Zen]

Nah, it didn't get HOF, but there hasn't been a vote in like two years so...yeah.