DEADMAN - clockwork omen

[dead man]

re





arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure
nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better
than the actual. tangential how i wrote you a letter
sweating bourbon syrup senses fade into black
buying things to fill this space to sleep in and act
like polyester carpeting and digital tracks
cataloguing my escape is more than petty distraction
from something. or nothing. or i've lost my direction
awkward as ever. shallow conversation topics for breakfast
cause and affection. planting powder keg grenade mega wattage
grenadine and cherry stems you twist into knots
tongue lashing was your last resort. reserve a response
Greystone balcony, hotel in the Bronx. we met off of Broadway
and never looked back. Jacksonville, Chicago and Boston
Camel cough up park-bench paradise. Pulaski and Foster
we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs
trial and error and loss. judge and jury incarnate
executioner, therapist, arrowhead temple massages
to be honest i can think of nothing better at night
than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write
clockwork omen. sliced like nectarines these moments in life
where it flows freely, hold deeply soulful delight
exhale your blood and marrow. rats and roaches and mice
dress rehearsal empathy and coping devices
postcard prozac. enhance the pixel perfect preciseness
neologist enlightenment as i'm twisting the knife
bedroom clutter paperbacks and ashtrays and wine
a concrete view and metal spoons i've bent to the side
mind's eye morose my psyche. every bet double-blind
cancer, signed my valentine. farewell gemini
mademoiselle Madeline, maiden fair, fahrenheit
can't quantify your qualities in sweaters and tights
hold me close to the window so i can stare at the sky
pop another vein and wave our passion goodbye
i used to feel like everything i said was important
like it mattered somehow. but now i know it's a lie
a morgue for all my discourse and a bed for my corpses
it's all a matter of minutes until we die.





DEADMAN

[sral]

we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs


to be honest i can think of nothing better at night
than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write


a lot of visual imagery and turn of phrase dopeness throughout but those couplets stood out most to me

ill shit buddy

keep that pen moving!

[NYCSPITZ]

ahhh my favorite dark romantic. Thanks for the ode to the burrough I repped for a decade. Hard for me to imagine a hotel there so I took it as maybe Riverdale tho or maybe in the past sometime. Also was feeling the lines Lars quoted. True love, nihilistic. Walking that line between the dark and light, meaning and no meaning. Ode to this with your skilled use of the word grey in your pieces. Like. want more.

[Zen]

arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure
nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better
than the actual. tangential how i wrote you a letter
sweating bourbon syrup senses fade into black
buying things to fill this space to sleep in and act

That's excellent, especially the last line.

[emcee squared]

can't quantify your qualities in sweaters and tights
hold me close to the window so i can stare at the sky
there's REAL
present tense
will possibly cry soon

[dead man]

Thx guys!

[Witty]

Man...you're the best.

Of all time.

Exquisite.

[JESODIST]

Its hard to troll your posts with a live verse like i just do with the other users...you are a complex story teller the lines are very well put together... i would like your feedback under my verses...have a great write

[Split Eight]

bedroom clutter paperbacks and ashtrays and wine
a concrete view and metal spoons i've bent to the side

this was standout. is this recent, or from the archives?

[Echo]

arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure
nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better


that was great. it was also true for most of us here, i feel


we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs

loved this. poignant as hell


the whole thing was butter smooth, as usual. you have a unique way with words which is refreshing considering the clone-like writing that takes place on message boards such as this. the way you twist phrases makes me want to write; i can say that about very few writers. your ability to remain you throughout the years you've spent online is to be applauded. please check out my OM when you can.

[dead man]

Wrote and posted it Dr Dog

Thanks

[Eŋg]

we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs
trial and error and loss. judge and jury incarnate
executioner, therapist, arrowhead temple massages
to be honest i can think of nothing better at night
than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write

bruh.

you're an animal.

[Wise Wiggles]

This was wicked my friend. Nice to read your stuff. I love how you always transport the reader effortlessly within descriptions and undertones. Love how the flow feels, real bubbley in a good way. Very intricate in parts as well. You relieved some stress. Thank you.

[Pharaohs Army]

Meh. Not too bad.