asylum
03-19-2016, 03:35 PM
http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png
Season 6 Magazine III Edition
Introduction
Welcome once again to another week in The Art of Writing League. We have a full roster and a lot of talented individuals putting their valuable time into this season. I apologize for the late mag, I've got a pretty bad flu. With a lot of help, I'm happy to present to you Week 3's Magazine! Enjoy!
Open Mic Feature #1
By Wise Wiggles
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=
"Shitty Titt"
It all trickles geometrical
Little Ellis dose cause a ripple in your pitiful jello bulb
Mental poke. The high is woah, kailodoscope sanction
I am so thankful, to be alive is the main goal
Try n'keep them veins full. Yeah it's brief, don't over think
It's painfully deep and I need it to peak.
Every molecule on acid is easy to see.
I've seen trees breathe like a plastic sponge
Ain't heard rap in months, already know it's all nerds, faggots & chumps
Been drinking from a bird bath,
***tus. Dung. Monkey sea, monkey due, time to eat the shroom
Genius bloom. Ever reached the moon? Splinter self
Liquid gellllllllllllll, excellently exquisite; melt
Winter belches it's mixture's strain
It's pure flame. Just trust.
Thriftworks - Fader.
Ill catch up to your sister in heely's and Scissor Achilles
Delivering oblivion, caterpillar'd in a blizzard of feelsies
Mister cutting loose under the Willow
Using roots as a pillow, duck duck goose with a chisel
A dump truck's usually where limbs go
Let me break it down for y'all brutally simple
Humans been consuming little shroomies to make the moon blink
Forever. Accept it. Eat them, deal with your shit
That there is oneness, and it's as real as it gets
Wanna hold weight in the universe? Such happiness
You're in tears, but they turn into a hundred magic blimps
They're banned because they incinerate every bit of hate
That's been crammed in your face
Haha dabs got me wasted, a damn zombie
Face lit on fire. Tye Dye Mayan archetype light this with wires
Mountain hatch fountain splash, drown in caps
I like the sound of that. But I'm an asshole
I'll knock down your kid's sand castle and hand them potent acid
Fractal pterodactal using color beams to lasso
Season Six Week Two Battle Reviews
Godcomplex vs. Razah
Razah took it 7-3 last week, I feel like he got more involved with his topic. He made it his. Where Godcomplex decided on an approach and made it work, Razah started a verse and incorporated his topic. That’s where the gold’s produced, where that heat comes from. From yourself. Start inside you, end on top. End of story.
MMLP vs. Maximus
MMLP went with his usual approach and just wrote whatever he wanted to, and it definitely got him some votes last week. A verse about drinking and being an awesome individual, and such. The topic somehow worked with the angle he went with, which is a surprise because I’m not even sure he reads them anymore. Maximus took the same exact approach with a little bit higher syllable count and just didn’t pull the readers in like our drunken companion MMLP, who took it 6-2.
Symetrik vs. Echo
Echo has clearly been writing for a while, his work is absolutely remarkable. Every line is enjoyable, each stanza has a purpose. He’s an efficient writing machine, period. His punchy style jumped around with syllable counts and always stayed fresh throughout his verse. He wrote a great western about an old time sheriff that will definitely be remembered. Symetrik wrote a sick piece about a couple in the midst of a drug addiction. I can tell by his word choices, he’s no stranger to the wrong side of the tracks. In the end Echo got twice the votes but in my mind it was a much closer battle. These were a couple of great reads.
Frank vs. Mr. J
Both competitors dropped realistic stories last week. Mr. J’s verse about a business man was very easy to relate to. He explored some general feelings many of us go through on a day to day basis and honestly I’m surprised it didn’t get more votes. The problem is, Frank came absolutely ridiculous with an edgy, true to life, absolute gem of a piece. It was full of suspense, action, and detailed imagery. It’s no surprise Frank took this on his approach alone, it gets votes.
Timeless vs. Asylum
Timeless wrote an absolute gem of a piece last week. From what I understand, his piece was about an Islamic women who met a white man and had an affair with him. In the end, she wound up being stoned to death for it. In actuality, he wrote an excellent period piece about real life situations going on day to day across the planet. People are being subjected to inhumane conditions under the guise of tradition and Timeless chose to put that in the limelight this week. For this, we thank you. Great piece bro. I dropped a hot pile of garbage and I apologize for that. Even at my best, this would have been a close battle.
Sral vs. Jesodist
Last week Sral wrote an excellent verse about himself, from what I can tell. He told it well. So well in fact, that he shut out his opponent. Jesodist actually began with something new from him, a love story perhaps. He ended with the usual tone and that inconsistency cost him a few votes. In all reality, Lars will destroy you every time. Jesodist did his best.
No Show Shine
Just Write -
Your story flowed very smoothly last week. I simply can not believe you're able to pump out verses that long in such a short time! Your utilization of line breaks was effective, jumping through time as you did didn't have any negative effects on the verse. I wasn't sure what to expect from Kevin from the beginning at first, but I must say, he doesn't seem like a very angry guy! I related to your character and the feeling you ended your story with. Your wording of the third stanza was absolutely moving and I appreciate you writing this piece. I have to remember to spend more time with my father, as we all should. As far as effecting writing goes, this is about as good as it gets. In my honest and humble opinion, including a lot of multiples would have been a mistake and this is an extremely complete piece of work. If i had to pick a favorite, your second stanza would be mine. Great job, JW. Thank you. My favorite bar..
They'd fish for hour, surrounded by endless tops of pines
And he taught him patience with every toss of the line.
I could almost smell the bait when I read that line.
2tripple0-
The beginning of your verse invoked a bit of laughter from me, to be honest. I found the use of the phrase "oligarchy," referring to one self, as comical. I do enjoy your work. You're staying on the same mode within stanzas. Unforunately, the piece as a whole wasn't entirely cohesive. You seemed focused on intimidating your audience. The rhymes in your third stanza were EXCEPTIONALLY good, great work there. I was a little bit thrown off about being accused of exploring marshmellows, but in all reality, who doesn't enjoy a delicious marshmellow? I will explore them at will. Your last stanza was a bit more unpolished then the rest of the verse. I truly appreciate your assertation that I am germ free, and I'll end my review on that positive note. Great work 2k, keep on making goals and working towards them. You're improving by leaps and bounds. My favorite bar..
If you had a clue you'd realize fake from the true
life is boring and most the time theres no one to turn to
I enjoyed this in it's entirety because it was very easy to relate to. More of this!
Vividlyvague - I had to stop mid read because I knew which bar was going to be my favorite..
Thoughts swirling, whirling, whirring. I was stalking you like a passionate ghost.
The words jumbled out all over in laxative quotes in an accent I know.
Wow man. That's great writing. laxative quotes in an accent i know.. I truly loved how that read. I was picturing someone being very creepy as you described yourself as a "passionate ghost." A bit of tongue in cheek humor, perhaps? Either way, this piece is great. It's ending absolutely gave me tingles. The plot grew increasingly dark as it moved along, and the end took a terrible turn for the worst. I'm pretty sure this is a story about a brother and sister who have sex in their earlier teenage years, but the brother fell in love. Then he goes off his shit, and hangs her? Before he blows his head off with depleted uranium round? The probability of a civilian offing oneself with a DU round is negligible, but the wording itself was absolutely fantastic. Your knack for easy flowing multiples and effortless storytelling have you as one of, if not my #1, top picks for this seasons. Great work VV, keep it coming!
Writers Block
Featuring Vividly Vague & Timeless
Yo my fault bro I got caught up last night forgot all about this. If this is still good to go I'll just say that it's not hard to get going for me. I have the tendency to let the words do all the talking when it comes to writing topicals. If that makes any sense I just woke up lol. You're one of the best storytellers that this site has ever seen IMO, is it hard for u to stay on pace? A lot of storytellers tend to stray from their story every other line. Your dialogue is unreal.
We're still rolling :)
How was sleep? I was stressing out over getting this started. I'm glad you showed up to the interview. Thank you, by the way, on your opinion of my work. As far as pace goes, I think I've kind of figured that out for the most part. For me it's more trying to stay interesting and not dumbing down the content. I get too wrapped around booms and bangs than the literary nuances. These days, that's what holds me back. Too much dialogue tends to rub voters the wrong way as well.
So, I’ve noticed that we both are comfortable writing at length. How often do you try short verses, and who do you admire in the short verse style?
I've actually grown quite fond of writing shorter verses lately. I used to write 40-50 lines easily but I just feel it's unnecessary for this league. Voters have strange habits and the more they have to read the worse its almost a chore for these whores. But nah cimmerian has came to mind since the early 2000's when it comes to short verse goat. What about you? Where does your dialogue-heavy content derive from?
Cimmerian is dope indeed. My fave before him was Johnathan Mercy. Same person? No clue. But, they are both very witty. I have to check out your more recent work as well.
I take heavily from movies and shows I watched growing up. I imagine situations from the inside, so it comes naturally to draw on dialogue, rather than from a narrator's perspective. I've been thinking about doing pieces strictly of dialogue, but that would go badly for me here. Maybe one day.
I know many of us writers have comfort zones and limitations that hinder our potential. But if there was anything you would like to be able to do in text, what would it be?
Battle lol. I tried it over the years from time to time but just can never get it down. Maybe someday I'll give it another go. As far as topicals just being able to convey to the reader. A lot of people miss obvious points in our work and make up their own scenarios, that to me is one of the biggest letdowns. Oh and I wish to write with zygotes mindset but that'll never happen. How long have you been writing topicals for? Any aliases back in the day?
I think it can be both hilarious and frustrating when our points get confused for something else, but I guess we can chalk it up to the cons of ambiguity. zyg the god tho. When he came back just to vote on my battle, it really blew my mind.
Believe it or not, I started topical writing 2nd season here for the first time ever. I wrote short stories and battled (poorly) before that. I have three aliases, but I won't tell lol. You should join me in the NBL. Its pretty tough over there. Pinot is dope.
Last real question:
I just saw Zootopia with my kids, and that’s some heavy subject matter for a kid movie (I won't spoil). How often do you consider tackling social or civil issues in topicals?
All the time. More subtle than not tbh, but I always try to write about social infrastructure and how it's fucked and always will be. My last week's verse was based on a a true story about a woman being stoned to death by the government for commuting adultery. Shit like that. Good question. This shit went quick
That was the verse I missed. I read about it in the mag though. Great stuff. I really admire when someone puts a real voice to what we do and gives it substance. I have done it also, but I'm thinking about doing it more.
Thank you for joining me, Timeless. Hopefully we'll face-off this season in the battle of the underdogs. No matter who wins, I'm sure there will be something memorable left for the readers. Speaking of readers, any parting words to the mag audience?
Yeah.. Stop bitching and write.
Cheers V.V
Interview
Asylum: Let me start this out by congratulating you on your win against season 5's champion, Godcomplex. Against all odds, you've taken down our reigning champ in an extremely one sided victory. Congratulations on your great start into Season 6. Which aspects of your verse do you feel gave you the edge over your opponent? Why do you really think you won?
2tripple0: I'm not entirely sure why the votes went my way but I think it was the right decision. I think i took into consideration what feedback I received from the other writers in the league and that made a big difference concerning the votes last week. Also I've been posting a lot more recently and I just think practice makes perfect so all in all I think it's mostly because I am trying to show more engagement with netcees.org in general and that has implemented my success and improvement overall.
You're probably the most improved writer signed in to The Art of Writing league, in my humble and honest opinion. How much of your improvement would you attribute to advice given by your peers, and alternatively, from your own experience?
Well that's a bit of a brain teaser really and I think it touches on both aspects one from other users on the site and also my involvement with text and the league in general so I think the two kind of balance from eachother
We have a lot of talented writers signed in this season. Which matchups are you looking forward to reading the most, from your fellow competitors? Also, who do you look forward to facing the most, and why?
I enjoy verses by a few writers including frank ydk and I'm looking forward to facing people like witty since he a seems to be influenced by some of my comments but to tell the truth I'm not really familiar with most of the people in the league and would hope to take this opportunity to get to know some of the other users on the site and league... I again think this is because of lack of participation on my part but lol it's difficult to get online all the time so I'm just trying my best to become an integral part of the site
How did you feel about the 32 line minimum last week? Are you happy to be challenged by varying battle requirements, or would you rather let the weekly topics alone decide each pieces direction?
You know it's funny I thought last week the sixteen line min. was actually a good way to kind of crop the filler and unwanted concepts but I'm totally ready to implement a verse this week without the voters and people reading have a chance to see what the competition is capable of but lol hopefully I'll have enough substance to keep people engaged with my text.
2k, it has been a pleasure competing with you in the Art of Writing League, the greatest topical site on the internet. Do you have any parting words for your peers?
Good luck to everyone in the league and keep up the good work lol wish I had something funny to end with but lol I don't so take this with a grain of salt I guess. Thanks for interview as well.
Open Mic Feature #2
By Dead Man
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=123203
"Clockwork Omen"
arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure
nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better
than the actual. tangential how i wrote you a letter
sweating bourbon syrup senses fade into black
buying things to fill this space to sleep in and act
like polyester carpeting and digital tracks
cataloguing my escape is more than petty distraction
from something. or nothing. or i've lost my direction
awkward as ever. shallow conversation topics for breakfast
cause and affection. planting powder keg grenade mega wattage
grenadine and cherry stems you twist into knots
tongue lashing was your last resort. reserve a response
Greystone balcony, hotel in the Bronx. we met off of Broadway
and never looked back. Jacksonville, Chicago and Boston
Camel cough up park-bench paradise. Pulaski and Foster
we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs
trial and error and loss. judge and jury incarnate
executioner, therapist, arrowhead temple massages
to be honest i can think of nothing better at night
than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write
clockwork omen. sliced like nectarines these moments in life
where it flows freely, hold deeply soulful delight
exhale your blood and marrow. rats and roaches and mice
dress rehearsal empathy and coping devices
postcard prozac. enhance the pixel perfect preciseness
neologist enlightenment as i'm twisting the knife
bedroom clutter paperbacks and ashtrays and wine
a concrete view and metal spoons i've bent to the side
mind's eye morose my psyche. every bet double-blind
cancer, signed my valentine. farewell gemini
mademoiselle Madeline, maiden fair, fahrenheit
can't quantify your qualities in sweaters and tights
hold me close to the window so i can stare at the sky
pop another vein and wave our passion goodbye
i used to feel like everything i said was important
like it mattered somehow. but now i know it's a lie
a morgue for all my discourse and a bed for my corpses
it's all a matter of minutes until we die.
DEADMAN
Season Six Week Three Predictions
Alice White vs. Symetrik
A self admitted protégé of Certain, Symetrik’s stepping into the ring with raw style. His kind of talent’s found all over street corners, stages, and inside crowds across the planet. The ability to bring that to the written game is an entirely different story. IF Alice White is a fully vetted topical writer in disguise, this battle could go either way. But in all reality, after Alice’s no show last week, I don’t think that’s the case. Symetrik took the risky approach and dropped early, he may regret that later on.
Alice White 6-4
Frank vs. Timeless
This week these two topical Vets are going to hammer it out. Lately, both have been producing fire and they’ll probably drop like the titanic. Timeless is an extremely cautious author. His methodical approach, taste for multiples, and ability to tell him story make him a formidable opponent. On the other hand, Frank is arguably one of the best storytellers in our midst. His ability to weave a tale before you is nearly unmatched. We’re going to have some hard votes here if both come full force, but right now we’ll give this to Frank. He's hungry.
Frank 7-3
Artifice vs. Asylum
To be honest, Artifice’s probably an ak and there’s no way to tell what kind of material he’s going to produce at this point. I’m motivated to write this week so all I’m going to say is bring it 100, Artifice.
Arid vs. 2tripple0
Arid’s decided to pop in and say hello after a rather long absence from topical writing as far as I know. We’ll see how he does. I’ve been told he is far above average when he tries and I’m looking forward to seeing what he produces. 2k’s on a two win streak and dropped early against a worthy adversary. He’s confident, he’s got momentum, and he’s a force to be reckoned with. In all reality I think 2k is getting a little confident and may have underestimated his opponent. If Arid shows I’ll give this to him just because he’s made it to a contender match with Certain before.
Arid 7-3
Just Write vs. Vividly Vague
JW’s going to be pushing the limit this week, there’s no doubt about that. A request to push the already LARGE 48 line max even further must be an indication he’s really digging into the topic deep, and I can’t wait to see what he comes up with. At the same time, VV is absolutely cold and calculating. He’s going to cut deep. I can feel it in my bones, VV is going to be extremely hard to knock out this week. While they both have a knack for storytelling, VV really kills it with his multiples.. without knowing what they’re writing to it’s all up in the air and I’m going to give the slightest nod to Vividlyvague because I think he’s got a little more time to write this week.
5-4 Vividlyvague.
Razahvs. Mr. J
Razah, the only Razah that has ever existed or ever will, (or so he says,) will be facing the masked clown himself. This may be BOTW, if Mr. J decides to bless us all with his verse and show for once. I’m not sure which I like more and this is a hard call, as I’m sure the votes will be if they’re ever cast. Razah because he shows every single time. If both show it’s a toss up.
Razah 6-1
Nigma vs. Pinot Grij
For the record, I’m happy to have both of these guys in the league at the same time. But against eachother? It’s going to be absolutely ridiculous. Nigma is a smart guy and always has creative approach on topics. Pinot Grij has been in my experience one of the most slept on writers around, and I’m pretty sure he will show for this battle. I’m going to give this to Nigma because he’s Nigma, but for the record I’d like to see him prove me wrong.
Nigma 6-2
The Law vs. Breathless
Breathless decided to take the creative approach this week and select his own topic, and he didn’t stick it to me on a technicality. Agreeing to write another verse says volumes about his character, but The Law is a certified topical Veteran. This guy can knows what he’s doing and is obviously extremely intelligent. He brings it every time he drops a verse and goes full blast. I’m expecting a line count in the high 30’s, at least. Breathless has written some of my favorite pieces in his hayday in the RSTL. He’s a very talented individual, smart, and has a way with words. However, in all reality, he’s been paired with an unfortunate opponent for a rusty author.
Law 6-3
Maximus vs. Echo
I’m not too familiar with Echo’s work, but so far he’s not coming to the table empty handed. Maximus is ill too, he’s got style like Symetrik. You can tell he can spit. I think Echo is a more polished topical writer and will take it with mechanics but if Max’s really feeling it, it could be golden. I’ll give it to Echo because he gets to pick his own picture this week and Maximus might be out of his element.
Echo 7-2
Jesodist vs. Godcomplex
Jesodist is a talented writer, he’s good at what he does. He comes with an extreme, raw, and gory style that really soaks up those votes like a coca cola in the murder scene’s he creates. Godcomplex is probably itching for a win this week and I’m 100% certain he will drop some knowledge. There’s no doubt about that. Just like me, Jesodist got shut out a couple times this season and he’s probably itching for a win too. This could be BOTW and will definitely be an entertaining read, but I’m going to give this to Godcomplex because his polished mechanics and approach will likely be a difficult obstacle for Jesodist.
Godcomplex 6-4[/QUOTE]
Flashback!
Season 2 Week 10
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=35124
NYCSPITZ defeats Certain 6-0
Marc-Eduard,
Shevek (LeGuinn), Tolstoy, Che, Allende, Sartre, Sacco + V., Joe Hill, Fred Hampton, Spinoza, Feyerabend...
all of them investigated Freedom...i.e. to get it, max it, keep it...never forget how the iron heel relentlessly
seeks to destroy it and make us slaves. Remember: "Je me Souverains"
...I am Sovereign.
Love,
Dad.
Remember son-
Life's river twists into lies and courses to trust
You're a man. Stay solid as I consort with the dusk.
Stand by your reality and never forfeit its trust
Be immortalized - the monolith'll morph it to dust.
For millions of years it was
The most beautiful terraform. Tides recede toward the rippling sand
as laughing dunes smile and crest into oblivion's hand
Tropical forests; endless oceans shining transcendently green
Two suns, and three satellites resplendently ringed.
Aeon's Lizard Nebula: a lounge couch for criminal tiers
The Dragon Tears Gang - Marc-Eduard Lemieux rose to general here.
Fulcrum of the fascist galactic senate's regime
Yin and yang power flow, darkening tenets supreme
M.E. and twin: Spirit Teachers. Part of the planet's heavenly lore
Til' crooked powers grabbed its reigns:
Super-Earth...Aeon Six-Seventy-Four
M.E. was King - his twin brother imprisoned to lead on the floor
shackled, the struggle left him in a terrible form...
Sit on your throne in melancholy Lord, sing unfathomed affairs
The supernova above's diffuse, a purple dragonish glare
The Dragon Tears gang came with the senate,
with cyborg cops and death of people's canons and prayers
Galactic Nero playin' fickle fiddle - Magnus beware
A soft chant from the twin brother...years of practice is there
Burned its roots, earth, rites and even blackened its air
Labelled telepathy as something like cerebral savage despair.
S.E. 674's Telepathic, telekenetic, spiritual status was rare
Where's the secret? Destroy the land, skin their scalps to compare
Find the mental secret to quench diamond and satin's despair.
but behind it all M.E. was calm, strode and flattened his hair
An earthly call resounds, climbing up the slabs of these stairs
A soft chant from M.E.'s twin...it's gathering's here
pondering life's circuitous route to ruin, sadness and fear
Laissez faire. Destroying his people while crackin' a beer.
Reminiscing, the Spirit Teacher code established was dear
The special power of neuro-matrix-electron-flux
allowed communication with any from maggot to deer.
Galaxy and Gang slogan: "Forcefully our cannons'll fly"
but it's a mockery - emaciated castle in sky.
The castle trembles, It's begun! God's chorus of odes
as spirit teachers witness in peace the falling fortress of coal
Marc-Eduard smiles without a mona lisa portioned remorse
Natives notice spiraling light pillars, gorgeous in torque
Dark-hearted fallen - it's prophecy's assurance in salt
...a radiant blue disperses, drawing strength from Arctrurus' vault
Brother stand redeemed! The ultimate mage - with heaven above disclosing its course-
Unshackled, he looks skywards
...as light hits a crest, spreads and encloses the source.
Final Word
Thank you all for tuning in! We'll be making up for this late drop in style with plenty of material next week and some game changing announcements that will keep your creative juices flowing even in your darkest hours. I hope you've enjoyed the read. Until next time!
Season 6 Magazine III Edition
Introduction
Welcome once again to another week in The Art of Writing League. We have a full roster and a lot of talented individuals putting their valuable time into this season. I apologize for the late mag, I've got a pretty bad flu. With a lot of help, I'm happy to present to you Week 3's Magazine! Enjoy!
Open Mic Feature #1
By Wise Wiggles
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=
"Shitty Titt"
It all trickles geometrical
Little Ellis dose cause a ripple in your pitiful jello bulb
Mental poke. The high is woah, kailodoscope sanction
I am so thankful, to be alive is the main goal
Try n'keep them veins full. Yeah it's brief, don't over think
It's painfully deep and I need it to peak.
Every molecule on acid is easy to see.
I've seen trees breathe like a plastic sponge
Ain't heard rap in months, already know it's all nerds, faggots & chumps
Been drinking from a bird bath,
***tus. Dung. Monkey sea, monkey due, time to eat the shroom
Genius bloom. Ever reached the moon? Splinter self
Liquid gellllllllllllll, excellently exquisite; melt
Winter belches it's mixture's strain
It's pure flame. Just trust.
Thriftworks - Fader.
Ill catch up to your sister in heely's and Scissor Achilles
Delivering oblivion, caterpillar'd in a blizzard of feelsies
Mister cutting loose under the Willow
Using roots as a pillow, duck duck goose with a chisel
A dump truck's usually where limbs go
Let me break it down for y'all brutally simple
Humans been consuming little shroomies to make the moon blink
Forever. Accept it. Eat them, deal with your shit
That there is oneness, and it's as real as it gets
Wanna hold weight in the universe? Such happiness
You're in tears, but they turn into a hundred magic blimps
They're banned because they incinerate every bit of hate
That's been crammed in your face
Haha dabs got me wasted, a damn zombie
Face lit on fire. Tye Dye Mayan archetype light this with wires
Mountain hatch fountain splash, drown in caps
I like the sound of that. But I'm an asshole
I'll knock down your kid's sand castle and hand them potent acid
Fractal pterodactal using color beams to lasso
Season Six Week Two Battle Reviews
Godcomplex vs. Razah
Razah took it 7-3 last week, I feel like he got more involved with his topic. He made it his. Where Godcomplex decided on an approach and made it work, Razah started a verse and incorporated his topic. That’s where the gold’s produced, where that heat comes from. From yourself. Start inside you, end on top. End of story.
MMLP vs. Maximus
MMLP went with his usual approach and just wrote whatever he wanted to, and it definitely got him some votes last week. A verse about drinking and being an awesome individual, and such. The topic somehow worked with the angle he went with, which is a surprise because I’m not even sure he reads them anymore. Maximus took the same exact approach with a little bit higher syllable count and just didn’t pull the readers in like our drunken companion MMLP, who took it 6-2.
Symetrik vs. Echo
Echo has clearly been writing for a while, his work is absolutely remarkable. Every line is enjoyable, each stanza has a purpose. He’s an efficient writing machine, period. His punchy style jumped around with syllable counts and always stayed fresh throughout his verse. He wrote a great western about an old time sheriff that will definitely be remembered. Symetrik wrote a sick piece about a couple in the midst of a drug addiction. I can tell by his word choices, he’s no stranger to the wrong side of the tracks. In the end Echo got twice the votes but in my mind it was a much closer battle. These were a couple of great reads.
Frank vs. Mr. J
Both competitors dropped realistic stories last week. Mr. J’s verse about a business man was very easy to relate to. He explored some general feelings many of us go through on a day to day basis and honestly I’m surprised it didn’t get more votes. The problem is, Frank came absolutely ridiculous with an edgy, true to life, absolute gem of a piece. It was full of suspense, action, and detailed imagery. It’s no surprise Frank took this on his approach alone, it gets votes.
Timeless vs. Asylum
Timeless wrote an absolute gem of a piece last week. From what I understand, his piece was about an Islamic women who met a white man and had an affair with him. In the end, she wound up being stoned to death for it. In actuality, he wrote an excellent period piece about real life situations going on day to day across the planet. People are being subjected to inhumane conditions under the guise of tradition and Timeless chose to put that in the limelight this week. For this, we thank you. Great piece bro. I dropped a hot pile of garbage and I apologize for that. Even at my best, this would have been a close battle.
Sral vs. Jesodist
Last week Sral wrote an excellent verse about himself, from what I can tell. He told it well. So well in fact, that he shut out his opponent. Jesodist actually began with something new from him, a love story perhaps. He ended with the usual tone and that inconsistency cost him a few votes. In all reality, Lars will destroy you every time. Jesodist did his best.
No Show Shine
Just Write -
Your story flowed very smoothly last week. I simply can not believe you're able to pump out verses that long in such a short time! Your utilization of line breaks was effective, jumping through time as you did didn't have any negative effects on the verse. I wasn't sure what to expect from Kevin from the beginning at first, but I must say, he doesn't seem like a very angry guy! I related to your character and the feeling you ended your story with. Your wording of the third stanza was absolutely moving and I appreciate you writing this piece. I have to remember to spend more time with my father, as we all should. As far as effecting writing goes, this is about as good as it gets. In my honest and humble opinion, including a lot of multiples would have been a mistake and this is an extremely complete piece of work. If i had to pick a favorite, your second stanza would be mine. Great job, JW. Thank you. My favorite bar..
They'd fish for hour, surrounded by endless tops of pines
And he taught him patience with every toss of the line.
I could almost smell the bait when I read that line.
2tripple0-
The beginning of your verse invoked a bit of laughter from me, to be honest. I found the use of the phrase "oligarchy," referring to one self, as comical. I do enjoy your work. You're staying on the same mode within stanzas. Unforunately, the piece as a whole wasn't entirely cohesive. You seemed focused on intimidating your audience. The rhymes in your third stanza were EXCEPTIONALLY good, great work there. I was a little bit thrown off about being accused of exploring marshmellows, but in all reality, who doesn't enjoy a delicious marshmellow? I will explore them at will. Your last stanza was a bit more unpolished then the rest of the verse. I truly appreciate your assertation that I am germ free, and I'll end my review on that positive note. Great work 2k, keep on making goals and working towards them. You're improving by leaps and bounds. My favorite bar..
If you had a clue you'd realize fake from the true
life is boring and most the time theres no one to turn to
I enjoyed this in it's entirety because it was very easy to relate to. More of this!
Vividlyvague - I had to stop mid read because I knew which bar was going to be my favorite..
Thoughts swirling, whirling, whirring. I was stalking you like a passionate ghost.
The words jumbled out all over in laxative quotes in an accent I know.
Wow man. That's great writing. laxative quotes in an accent i know.. I truly loved how that read. I was picturing someone being very creepy as you described yourself as a "passionate ghost." A bit of tongue in cheek humor, perhaps? Either way, this piece is great. It's ending absolutely gave me tingles. The plot grew increasingly dark as it moved along, and the end took a terrible turn for the worst. I'm pretty sure this is a story about a brother and sister who have sex in their earlier teenage years, but the brother fell in love. Then he goes off his shit, and hangs her? Before he blows his head off with depleted uranium round? The probability of a civilian offing oneself with a DU round is negligible, but the wording itself was absolutely fantastic. Your knack for easy flowing multiples and effortless storytelling have you as one of, if not my #1, top picks for this seasons. Great work VV, keep it coming!
Writers Block
Featuring Vividly Vague & Timeless
Yo my fault bro I got caught up last night forgot all about this. If this is still good to go I'll just say that it's not hard to get going for me. I have the tendency to let the words do all the talking when it comes to writing topicals. If that makes any sense I just woke up lol. You're one of the best storytellers that this site has ever seen IMO, is it hard for u to stay on pace? A lot of storytellers tend to stray from their story every other line. Your dialogue is unreal.
We're still rolling :)
How was sleep? I was stressing out over getting this started. I'm glad you showed up to the interview. Thank you, by the way, on your opinion of my work. As far as pace goes, I think I've kind of figured that out for the most part. For me it's more trying to stay interesting and not dumbing down the content. I get too wrapped around booms and bangs than the literary nuances. These days, that's what holds me back. Too much dialogue tends to rub voters the wrong way as well.
So, I’ve noticed that we both are comfortable writing at length. How often do you try short verses, and who do you admire in the short verse style?
I've actually grown quite fond of writing shorter verses lately. I used to write 40-50 lines easily but I just feel it's unnecessary for this league. Voters have strange habits and the more they have to read the worse its almost a chore for these whores. But nah cimmerian has came to mind since the early 2000's when it comes to short verse goat. What about you? Where does your dialogue-heavy content derive from?
Cimmerian is dope indeed. My fave before him was Johnathan Mercy. Same person? No clue. But, they are both very witty. I have to check out your more recent work as well.
I take heavily from movies and shows I watched growing up. I imagine situations from the inside, so it comes naturally to draw on dialogue, rather than from a narrator's perspective. I've been thinking about doing pieces strictly of dialogue, but that would go badly for me here. Maybe one day.
I know many of us writers have comfort zones and limitations that hinder our potential. But if there was anything you would like to be able to do in text, what would it be?
Battle lol. I tried it over the years from time to time but just can never get it down. Maybe someday I'll give it another go. As far as topicals just being able to convey to the reader. A lot of people miss obvious points in our work and make up their own scenarios, that to me is one of the biggest letdowns. Oh and I wish to write with zygotes mindset but that'll never happen. How long have you been writing topicals for? Any aliases back in the day?
I think it can be both hilarious and frustrating when our points get confused for something else, but I guess we can chalk it up to the cons of ambiguity. zyg the god tho. When he came back just to vote on my battle, it really blew my mind.
Believe it or not, I started topical writing 2nd season here for the first time ever. I wrote short stories and battled (poorly) before that. I have three aliases, but I won't tell lol. You should join me in the NBL. Its pretty tough over there. Pinot is dope.
Last real question:
I just saw Zootopia with my kids, and that’s some heavy subject matter for a kid movie (I won't spoil). How often do you consider tackling social or civil issues in topicals?
All the time. More subtle than not tbh, but I always try to write about social infrastructure and how it's fucked and always will be. My last week's verse was based on a a true story about a woman being stoned to death by the government for commuting adultery. Shit like that. Good question. This shit went quick
That was the verse I missed. I read about it in the mag though. Great stuff. I really admire when someone puts a real voice to what we do and gives it substance. I have done it also, but I'm thinking about doing it more.
Thank you for joining me, Timeless. Hopefully we'll face-off this season in the battle of the underdogs. No matter who wins, I'm sure there will be something memorable left for the readers. Speaking of readers, any parting words to the mag audience?
Yeah.. Stop bitching and write.
Cheers V.V
Interview
Asylum: Let me start this out by congratulating you on your win against season 5's champion, Godcomplex. Against all odds, you've taken down our reigning champ in an extremely one sided victory. Congratulations on your great start into Season 6. Which aspects of your verse do you feel gave you the edge over your opponent? Why do you really think you won?
2tripple0: I'm not entirely sure why the votes went my way but I think it was the right decision. I think i took into consideration what feedback I received from the other writers in the league and that made a big difference concerning the votes last week. Also I've been posting a lot more recently and I just think practice makes perfect so all in all I think it's mostly because I am trying to show more engagement with netcees.org in general and that has implemented my success and improvement overall.
You're probably the most improved writer signed in to The Art of Writing league, in my humble and honest opinion. How much of your improvement would you attribute to advice given by your peers, and alternatively, from your own experience?
Well that's a bit of a brain teaser really and I think it touches on both aspects one from other users on the site and also my involvement with text and the league in general so I think the two kind of balance from eachother
We have a lot of talented writers signed in this season. Which matchups are you looking forward to reading the most, from your fellow competitors? Also, who do you look forward to facing the most, and why?
I enjoy verses by a few writers including frank ydk and I'm looking forward to facing people like witty since he a seems to be influenced by some of my comments but to tell the truth I'm not really familiar with most of the people in the league and would hope to take this opportunity to get to know some of the other users on the site and league... I again think this is because of lack of participation on my part but lol it's difficult to get online all the time so I'm just trying my best to become an integral part of the site
How did you feel about the 32 line minimum last week? Are you happy to be challenged by varying battle requirements, or would you rather let the weekly topics alone decide each pieces direction?
You know it's funny I thought last week the sixteen line min. was actually a good way to kind of crop the filler and unwanted concepts but I'm totally ready to implement a verse this week without the voters and people reading have a chance to see what the competition is capable of but lol hopefully I'll have enough substance to keep people engaged with my text.
2k, it has been a pleasure competing with you in the Art of Writing League, the greatest topical site on the internet. Do you have any parting words for your peers?
Good luck to everyone in the league and keep up the good work lol wish I had something funny to end with but lol I don't so take this with a grain of salt I guess. Thanks for interview as well.
Open Mic Feature #2
By Dead Man
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=123203
"Clockwork Omen"
arranging words to bind a group of strangers together
the great adventure. come for companionship but stay under pressure
nestled in a corner where the makeshift is better
than the actual. tangential how i wrote you a letter
sweating bourbon syrup senses fade into black
buying things to fill this space to sleep in and act
like polyester carpeting and digital tracks
cataloguing my escape is more than petty distraction
from something. or nothing. or i've lost my direction
awkward as ever. shallow conversation topics for breakfast
cause and affection. planting powder keg grenade mega wattage
grenadine and cherry stems you twist into knots
tongue lashing was your last resort. reserve a response
Greystone balcony, hotel in the Bronx. we met off of Broadway
and never looked back. Jacksonville, Chicago and Boston
Camel cough up park-bench paradise. Pulaski and Foster
we all settle or not. graveside novelist out measuring plots
cashed my whole portfolio for burial costs
trial and error and loss. judge and jury incarnate
executioner, therapist, arrowhead temple massages
to be honest i can think of nothing better at night
than a glass of ice and whiskey and a second to write
clockwork omen. sliced like nectarines these moments in life
where it flows freely, hold deeply soulful delight
exhale your blood and marrow. rats and roaches and mice
dress rehearsal empathy and coping devices
postcard prozac. enhance the pixel perfect preciseness
neologist enlightenment as i'm twisting the knife
bedroom clutter paperbacks and ashtrays and wine
a concrete view and metal spoons i've bent to the side
mind's eye morose my psyche. every bet double-blind
cancer, signed my valentine. farewell gemini
mademoiselle Madeline, maiden fair, fahrenheit
can't quantify your qualities in sweaters and tights
hold me close to the window so i can stare at the sky
pop another vein and wave our passion goodbye
i used to feel like everything i said was important
like it mattered somehow. but now i know it's a lie
a morgue for all my discourse and a bed for my corpses
it's all a matter of minutes until we die.
DEADMAN
Season Six Week Three Predictions
Alice White vs. Symetrik
A self admitted protégé of Certain, Symetrik’s stepping into the ring with raw style. His kind of talent’s found all over street corners, stages, and inside crowds across the planet. The ability to bring that to the written game is an entirely different story. IF Alice White is a fully vetted topical writer in disguise, this battle could go either way. But in all reality, after Alice’s no show last week, I don’t think that’s the case. Symetrik took the risky approach and dropped early, he may regret that later on.
Alice White 6-4
Frank vs. Timeless
This week these two topical Vets are going to hammer it out. Lately, both have been producing fire and they’ll probably drop like the titanic. Timeless is an extremely cautious author. His methodical approach, taste for multiples, and ability to tell him story make him a formidable opponent. On the other hand, Frank is arguably one of the best storytellers in our midst. His ability to weave a tale before you is nearly unmatched. We’re going to have some hard votes here if both come full force, but right now we’ll give this to Frank. He's hungry.
Frank 7-3
Artifice vs. Asylum
To be honest, Artifice’s probably an ak and there’s no way to tell what kind of material he’s going to produce at this point. I’m motivated to write this week so all I’m going to say is bring it 100, Artifice.
Arid vs. 2tripple0
Arid’s decided to pop in and say hello after a rather long absence from topical writing as far as I know. We’ll see how he does. I’ve been told he is far above average when he tries and I’m looking forward to seeing what he produces. 2k’s on a two win streak and dropped early against a worthy adversary. He’s confident, he’s got momentum, and he’s a force to be reckoned with. In all reality I think 2k is getting a little confident and may have underestimated his opponent. If Arid shows I’ll give this to him just because he’s made it to a contender match with Certain before.
Arid 7-3
Just Write vs. Vividly Vague
JW’s going to be pushing the limit this week, there’s no doubt about that. A request to push the already LARGE 48 line max even further must be an indication he’s really digging into the topic deep, and I can’t wait to see what he comes up with. At the same time, VV is absolutely cold and calculating. He’s going to cut deep. I can feel it in my bones, VV is going to be extremely hard to knock out this week. While they both have a knack for storytelling, VV really kills it with his multiples.. without knowing what they’re writing to it’s all up in the air and I’m going to give the slightest nod to Vividlyvague because I think he’s got a little more time to write this week.
5-4 Vividlyvague.
Razahvs. Mr. J
Razah, the only Razah that has ever existed or ever will, (or so he says,) will be facing the masked clown himself. This may be BOTW, if Mr. J decides to bless us all with his verse and show for once. I’m not sure which I like more and this is a hard call, as I’m sure the votes will be if they’re ever cast. Razah because he shows every single time. If both show it’s a toss up.
Razah 6-1
Nigma vs. Pinot Grij
For the record, I’m happy to have both of these guys in the league at the same time. But against eachother? It’s going to be absolutely ridiculous. Nigma is a smart guy and always has creative approach on topics. Pinot Grij has been in my experience one of the most slept on writers around, and I’m pretty sure he will show for this battle. I’m going to give this to Nigma because he’s Nigma, but for the record I’d like to see him prove me wrong.
Nigma 6-2
The Law vs. Breathless
Breathless decided to take the creative approach this week and select his own topic, and he didn’t stick it to me on a technicality. Agreeing to write another verse says volumes about his character, but The Law is a certified topical Veteran. This guy can knows what he’s doing and is obviously extremely intelligent. He brings it every time he drops a verse and goes full blast. I’m expecting a line count in the high 30’s, at least. Breathless has written some of my favorite pieces in his hayday in the RSTL. He’s a very talented individual, smart, and has a way with words. However, in all reality, he’s been paired with an unfortunate opponent for a rusty author.
Law 6-3
Maximus vs. Echo
I’m not too familiar with Echo’s work, but so far he’s not coming to the table empty handed. Maximus is ill too, he’s got style like Symetrik. You can tell he can spit. I think Echo is a more polished topical writer and will take it with mechanics but if Max’s really feeling it, it could be golden. I’ll give it to Echo because he gets to pick his own picture this week and Maximus might be out of his element.
Echo 7-2
Jesodist vs. Godcomplex
Jesodist is a talented writer, he’s good at what he does. He comes with an extreme, raw, and gory style that really soaks up those votes like a coca cola in the murder scene’s he creates. Godcomplex is probably itching for a win this week and I’m 100% certain he will drop some knowledge. There’s no doubt about that. Just like me, Jesodist got shut out a couple times this season and he’s probably itching for a win too. This could be BOTW and will definitely be an entertaining read, but I’m going to give this to Godcomplex because his polished mechanics and approach will likely be a difficult obstacle for Jesodist.
Godcomplex 6-4[/QUOTE]
Flashback!
Season 2 Week 10
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=35124
NYCSPITZ defeats Certain 6-0
Marc-Eduard,
Shevek (LeGuinn), Tolstoy, Che, Allende, Sartre, Sacco + V., Joe Hill, Fred Hampton, Spinoza, Feyerabend...
all of them investigated Freedom...i.e. to get it, max it, keep it...never forget how the iron heel relentlessly
seeks to destroy it and make us slaves. Remember: "Je me Souverains"
...I am Sovereign.
Love,
Dad.
Remember son-
Life's river twists into lies and courses to trust
You're a man. Stay solid as I consort with the dusk.
Stand by your reality and never forfeit its trust
Be immortalized - the monolith'll morph it to dust.
For millions of years it was
The most beautiful terraform. Tides recede toward the rippling sand
as laughing dunes smile and crest into oblivion's hand
Tropical forests; endless oceans shining transcendently green
Two suns, and three satellites resplendently ringed.
Aeon's Lizard Nebula: a lounge couch for criminal tiers
The Dragon Tears Gang - Marc-Eduard Lemieux rose to general here.
Fulcrum of the fascist galactic senate's regime
Yin and yang power flow, darkening tenets supreme
M.E. and twin: Spirit Teachers. Part of the planet's heavenly lore
Til' crooked powers grabbed its reigns:
Super-Earth...Aeon Six-Seventy-Four
M.E. was King - his twin brother imprisoned to lead on the floor
shackled, the struggle left him in a terrible form...
Sit on your throne in melancholy Lord, sing unfathomed affairs
The supernova above's diffuse, a purple dragonish glare
The Dragon Tears gang came with the senate,
with cyborg cops and death of people's canons and prayers
Galactic Nero playin' fickle fiddle - Magnus beware
A soft chant from the twin brother...years of practice is there
Burned its roots, earth, rites and even blackened its air
Labelled telepathy as something like cerebral savage despair.
S.E. 674's Telepathic, telekenetic, spiritual status was rare
Where's the secret? Destroy the land, skin their scalps to compare
Find the mental secret to quench diamond and satin's despair.
but behind it all M.E. was calm, strode and flattened his hair
An earthly call resounds, climbing up the slabs of these stairs
A soft chant from M.E.'s twin...it's gathering's here
pondering life's circuitous route to ruin, sadness and fear
Laissez faire. Destroying his people while crackin' a beer.
Reminiscing, the Spirit Teacher code established was dear
The special power of neuro-matrix-electron-flux
allowed communication with any from maggot to deer.
Galaxy and Gang slogan: "Forcefully our cannons'll fly"
but it's a mockery - emaciated castle in sky.
The castle trembles, It's begun! God's chorus of odes
as spirit teachers witness in peace the falling fortress of coal
Marc-Eduard smiles without a mona lisa portioned remorse
Natives notice spiraling light pillars, gorgeous in torque
Dark-hearted fallen - it's prophecy's assurance in salt
...a radiant blue disperses, drawing strength from Arctrurus' vault
Brother stand redeemed! The ultimate mage - with heaven above disclosing its course-
Unshackled, he looks skywards
...as light hits a crest, spreads and encloses the source.
Final Word
Thank you all for tuning in! We'll be making up for this late drop in style with plenty of material next week and some game changing announcements that will keep your creative juices flowing even in your darkest hours. I hope you've enjoyed the read. Until next time!