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View Full Version : I shit myself at the cornerstore


uh-oh
03-21-2016, 07:54 AM
Just a little. Called off work.

Im in line. Half dead and zombified getting my v8 bottled water and lays pickle chips. Had bubbly gut activity all morning. Was feeling it again. Had to fart but didnt trust the amount of heat behind my anus so i was holding it. There are people in front and behind me and im like fucckkkk lets go. Then i had to sneeze. Im a weirdo who dont like sneezing around others because i sneeze like an oxen with tourettes. But my hands are full. I can usually just like squeeze my nose holes shut and power through burning eyes. But nah. So i turn my head to sneeze and i sharted hot acid. It was probably like 3/4 of a shot glass worth of human waste.

I dont think anyone noticed, there was no sound involved past the sneeze. It was like just opening a water balloon you havent tied for a split second.

I put my v8 water and chips on top of the newspapers by the door and fled. Nothing like a wet asscheek under you as you drive back home. Then i made the embarassing phone call to work like yo i cant come in today i had a lesson in humility bruh.

So here i am.

Whens the last time butt juice evacuated your system unwarranted

uh-oh
03-21-2016, 07:55 AM
Lol shot. Can a mod edit that. I dont want to mislead the good ncgs and get there hopes up just because i have the fat fingers of a neanderthal and the i and o are to close on my mobile device. Thank you.

sral
03-21-2016, 08:48 AM
lmao what an anticlimatic thread

anime_boners
03-21-2016, 10:42 AM
obliterated

last time i shit my pants I was black out drunk and didn't know it. found pants in my bathroom with shit in them. immediately disposed of them.

Chill Phil
03-21-2016, 11:39 AM
drippy pants ass nigga

Dabble MC
03-21-2016, 07:11 PM
shit happens..har har har.


but I thought only pregnant bitches shit themselves when they sneezed?

not calling you a pregnant bitch. just saying.

SHECK WES
03-21-2016, 07:42 PM
Damn bro been there it sucks lol

timeless
03-24-2016, 08:25 AM
Just woke up went to rip a nice morning fart and boom there she is.

Just got these boxers too

No more yuengling and wawa classic chicken parms at 2am