Week 14 CHAMPIONSHIP: (c)Artifice (9-2) vs Adonis (6-5) [ARTIFICE WINS]

[asylum]

http://i.imgur.com/uAJesXX.png

Season 6

Verses are due MONDAY 6/6 (ext. 6/7) at 11:59 PST

Voting ends WEDNESDAY 6/8 at 11:59 PST

Verses May Not Exceed 48 Lines

Voting on four battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will receive a loss instead. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension. Please post links to your four votes in the voting thread.



Topic:

http://i.imgur.com/c8mIjEp.jpg


G/Luck Artifice (9-2) vs Adonis (6-5)

[Artifice]

http://i.imgur.com/c8mIjEp.jpg

waves radiate in the darkness still it's hard to detect 'em
for as a faculty my pupils' tuned to only a small part of that spectrum
use two to produce better than whatever one's caught alone
as photons bend onto a lens made of sewn together rods & cones
images stitched, retinal reflections fused, paired & attached
new dimensions prepared from flats, depth developed thru parallax
sets of corrective lenses help fuzzy focal points align right
the look ahead isn't perfect but it sure is twenty-twenty in hindsight
to close two is an instinct, the moment says do it and miss me
to close one signals all in fun, not really true or you feelin' frisky
& some cultures connect me to an evil curse, but even worse
others opine one in the mind & find the pineal gland to be the third
i've been mistreated, black & swollen, full of redness and puffy
i've even been pink which means full of puss, plus infected & crusty
making contact with me's a sign of respect so might i wonder
why it is when individuals attempt to flirt sometimes you'll find i flutter
to things i don't like i turn a blind one, turn both in passion & love
& when i'm lazy doctors change me by basically patchin' me up
cataracts' clouded, i'm full of floaters in octogenarians
pennies cover me the day i pay my toll on the dock to the ferryman
in synesthetes i see speech for real, i know it sounds absurd
but nouns & verbs paint pictures to me worth at least a thousand words
expressions of chromosomes control the shade my iris reflects
the ones missing determine which version of color blindness i get
i'm kept on the prize so can't pretend i never got the chance
i'm in the gaze of a killer... & at the end of every awkward glance
did you know i could say i see myself when i'm in agreement
they call me the window to the soul... so why don't you take a peek in?

[blink]

[Adonis]

This filthy planet had done its best but had failed
Fernando would find happiness through this worlds oppressive thin veil
A breezy life that set sail, floating through the sea of these drones
He could see through their bones, souls decreasingly shown
No one pays attention unless you were a iPhone
But Fernando loved living even though he lived all alone
He could block out the static with a weapon he had
A little happiness outlasts the hapless presence of crap
This bustling city couldn’t contain the fuel that he burned
People stacked upon people, living in filth, making germs
His days were spent watching them work to make rent
It didn’t make sense, the commotion of herds for a cent
Land was always free, but now, suddenly, it’s monitzed?
This was baseless to Fernando and the honor he prized
Ex junky who chose to clean up his act
He’s still a punch line, in fact, lines are what set out his path
He soon graduated to ‘Skag’, living life wasn’t real
His only goal daily was to drift off into the dreams he’d conceal
The search wasn’t hard, pan handling was easy
Thieving pockets unsuspected as the subway moved freely
Once an addict, always one, this statement is known
Fernando’s a good soul, just loves vacation alone
Mai Tais in his head, a summer breeze while it’s winter
This fleeting feeling would not be released from this sinner


….


Fernando entered the stall, giddy as ever
Thought, “How clever”, as he read “Oscar the Grout” between tile that’s weathered
He’d seen better, after all, art was born in New York
Still, a slight chuckle rang warm from his throat
He could taste it already, a glimpse of heaven revealing
It’s no wonder a long search lead to concessions appealing
He sat down, pants remained strapped to his waist
Though his belt was now fastened to a track leading the race
A simple flick with his index released a pocket of air
Lost in his chair, he’s sent off without care
He’d nod, eyes fixed in a glare, mind lifting his hair
Spine sinking, miosis induced, heart skipping its share
Fernando sat happily as hours would pass
His blank stare was relaxed though his soul had collapsed
His final breathe was one injected on purpose
We all die, so the writing’s on the wall,
His just happened to be dripping in cursive -
From bloodshot eyes in a stall

[Frank]

Artifice, spectacular read. Very engrossing and encapsulating. The idea required a big scope and you adjusted the lense down on the subject matter with a polarizing perspective. I didn't like something about the Killer in a gaze closer. Inappropriate given the academically driven knowledge based approach. I admit though, it gave you an edge from a topical battle stand point.Although you might want to edit in a different line there down the line to enhance the overall readability of it all. I can remember a piece we collaborated on back in 2011 called Hip Hop Heads to an image of a brain in a jar. Magical run you've put together here in your first season in the AOWL. One for the record books. Best of luck to you as your season comes to a close.

Fernando, have you ever seen requiem for a dream? This was gritty. I favored your second stanza opposed to the less descriptive first one. I liked the dank bathroom stall imagery. The last line catapulted the picture into hindsight. Gripping write up. Adding the picture somewhere to your submission could've brought the performance to a another level. Clever approach and spot on interpretation.

BOTW. Gave the nod to Artifice.

[UnbornBuddha]

Artifice took the straightforward approach, zeroing in to the perspective relayed from an eye. I enjoyed it very much, it had some visually impactful images, I guess that was the aim. I could tell some lines were not as thoughtful as others and that you spend less time trying to craft the perfect piece, nevertheless what you did create was excellent nevertheless.

Adonis:I like the second stanza much more than first one. It was just more captivating. The way the man died was morbid. And I understood how you interpreted the topic, albeit you expanded more in the sense of interpretation.

I have to say I am leaning more towards Artifice here. I felt his whole piece was more poignant and had more impact on me.

[Mr. J]

Art, I really enjoyed the way you spun your verse
a lot of impressive connections to how one observes
could have done without the miss me line part way through
using the eye on the pyramid would have been the smartest move.
but you add just enough technical ability to your flow.
which made the read just as interesting as you go...
you stepped it up from your previous weeks of no shows
when you used crusty I laughed and instantly thought of the simpsons
regardless this was a nice verse, one I really enjoyed being able to witness
other then that I dont have much to complain about
congrats on a good season you really laid it down...

Adonis, I thought your approach was clean as fuck.
of course there were a few lines you didnt need...so what...
I thought this was your creme de la creme of pieces
the introduction verse set up a story that was beyond decent.
who would have ever thought you had a card up your sleeve?
I will admit that freely/easy line was hard on me...
luckily I digested everything you laid out on your table of contents
a depressing story that was part genius & borderline honest...
cool shit brah...

v/This is probably the toughest battle I will have to vote on...
in fact its the only battle that I have to vote on...
regardless I felt both of you brought your a game to the table
one approach was abstract the other was concerning the handy capable
overall both stuck to the style that got them to this point.
both had a few slip ups that would leave very few annoyed...
but for me it was a negative that infected both works...
Adonis dropped some emotional baggage with the tear jerks
while Art focused more on the strength of idea & proceeded to go crazy
with that being said....I think Art did more for me baby

[Mike Wrecka]

Nice battle fellas. Two different approaches here

Artifice is obv an alias I just can't put my finger on who yet. This verse was really well crafted. The flow was really smooth. Great word choices throughout. You chose to do a more traditional topical and focus on an eye and it's different functions and purposes instead of telling a story. It worked incredible well. I did not think that you were going to be able to keep me interested in all the different aspects of and I threw an entire verse but you certainly did Really enjoyed it.


Adonis went the story telling route. The flow was well constructed but a lot of the end rhymes were rather basic and bland. Especially in the first stanza. What can I say Art out flowed you, out vocabed you and definitely delivered a more entertaining verse. That dripping in cursive line was pretty awesome. I felt like overall the piece just lacked the emotion needed to compete in this tussle. It was good just not good enough


Props fellas

Vote - artifice